Dress-Wearing Perry Saturn – WCW, 1999
History
This all started in January of 1999. The first Nitro of the year saw Chris Jericho defeating Perry Saturn when Jericho locked Saturn in the Liontamer and the referee immediately called for the bell.
Nope, I just checked. This was Atlanta – not Montreal.
Anyway, later in the show, just to let us know what was going on, Jericho was shown congratulating the referee (Scott Dickinson, if you’re keeping track) about the fine job he’d done officiating.
On Thunder, we saw Saturn taking on the Cat, with Mickey Jay as the ref. Just as Saturn went for the pin, Jericho ran down and pulled Mickey Jay out of the ring. Immediately after the Cat rolled Saturn up, Scott Dickinson ran out of the back and counted the pin. Of course, the instant replay showed that Dickinson in reality only counted one and then called for the bell.
Saturn got payback as Jericho took on Konnan later in the night (with Scott Dickinson as the ref). Saturn pulled Dickinson out of the ring. Jericho turned to Saturn and got planted by Konnan. Saturn then made the three count.
On Nitro, Saturn was being interviewed by Mean Gene. Saturn was talking about the recent shenanigans when Jericho and Ralphus came out. Jericho began talking about Saturn crying like a schoolgirl, and then got an idea. Jericho put forward the match at Souled Out – if Saturn lost, he’d have to wear a dress for the rest of his career. Saturn didn’t like it, but finally agreed. Jericho responded by saying that Saturn couldn’t handle it because he didn’t have the personality for it, he didn’t have the attitude for it, and he didn’t have the legs for it.
Immediately following the interview, we got Saturn taking on the Cat. Yes, again. Scott Dickinson (as your crooked referee) was outside talking to Sonny Ono, so Saturn went out and spun him around to get him back into the ring. Oops. Saturn assaulted the referee, so he’s disqualified. Jericho then came out of the back and nailed Saturn with a shovel for the heck of it and started trying to put a dress on him.
Things got strange on Thunder as Jericho took on Van Hammer. Saturn came out, but just stood on the entrance ramp and watched. When Jericho won, Saturn applauded him.
That brought us to Souled Out. Scott Dickinson was the referee. Mike Tenay informed us that whoever lost would have to wear the dress for 90 days, and not their entire career as they’d said earlier. Saturn finally rolled Jericho up in a small package. Dickinson rolled them over so Jericho was on top and then performed the fastest three count ever in the history of man. Jericho, Dickinson, and Ralphus laughed as Saturn put on his dress.
It took until Thunder for the psychological effects of the dress to wear off. After losing to Scott Steiner on Nitro, Saturn easily defeated Al Greene on Thunder. He even brought out a new catchphrase – “Life’s a drag.”
The wins for Saturn continued to mount in the following weeks over competitors like Norman Smiley and Bobby Blaze.
On the February 1st edition of Nitro, Chris Jericho was taking on Scott Steiner. Jericho eventually tired of the match and rolled to the outside, intending on heading to the back. Saturn appeared and threw Jericho back into the ring, leaving him easy prey for the Steiner Recliner.
Things continued to pick up on that week’s edition of Saturday Night. Jericho defeated Damian and then slips him into one of Saturn’s dresses. Saturn hit the ring, ran off Jericho and Ralphus, and then ripped the dress off Damian.
We took a turn for the weird on Worldwide. Saturn did an interview with Mean Gene where he talked about the dress – namely that it was so cold. He even discussed that he had snow up to his hemline, then started talking about how good he looked in it.
Jericho got his revenge on Monday night as he distracted Saturn just long enough for Jerry Flynn to nail him with a spin kick for the pin.
Jericho amped up the mind games on Thunder. Jericho came out for his match and announced that he would bring out a man who emphasized class and looked good in a dress. Out came Ralphus, who looked fetching in a pink dress with matching sweater, white pantyhose, and black boots. He also carried a small sign, which indicated that his outfit was by the Jericho Collection. Then Juventud Guerrera to start the match and end the fun. Jericho won with no problems.
Superbrawl saw Jericho taking on Saturn again. This time, the stipulation was that Jericho had to put the dress on if he lost. The ever-fetching Ralphus cleared out after Saturn went after him and ripped off his dress. In a strange ending, Saturn hit Jericho with the Death Valley Driver, then planted referee Scott Dickinson with the same maneuver.
The next night on Nitro Jericho continued the war as he insinuated that Saturn might be… well, you know… for refusing to take off the dress. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Ralphus was with him, in a lovely blue number. As Jericho took on Hugh Morrus, Saturn came out and tore off Ralphus’s dress. Saturn then hit Jericho with the Death Valley Driver, which let Morrus hit the No Laughing Matter (moonsault) and the win.
On Saturday night, Saturn sat down with Mean Gene for another interview. Saturn now appeared angry that JJ Dillon was forcing him to keep wearing the dress, and ended the interview by asking Dillon if he wanted to see how weird he could get.
On Nitro, Saturn was taking on Hugh Morrus. We also discovered that Saturn, who’d previously started wearing mascara, had added lipstick to his makeup. Needless to say, Jericho nailed Saturn with the famed WCW International Object and Morrus picked up another win.
Saturn came out on Thunder wearing a skirt, a dog collar, and chains. Saturn called himself a bald bombshell, then challenged Jericho to a dog collar match at Uncensored. Jericho accepted, saying he was only doing so because WCW was a G-rated company and he wanted to run R-rated freaks like Saturn out. Of course, the R stood for Ridiculous. Saturn closed the segment by promising an outfit at the PPV that would make Marilyn Manson freak out.
On Saturday Night Saturn took on El Dandy. Saturn easily won. After the match, Jericho attacked and laid him out with a chain.
Nitro saw Jericho taking on Lizmark Jr. Lizmark complied when Jericho demanded that the match be a dog collar match, despite Jericho’s warnings that he was a master of this match. He’d trained with yogis on mountaintops, after all. Do I need to mention that Jericho won?
Jericho got serious on Saturday night as he talked with Gene Okerlund. He told Saturn that the joke was over and offered his help to stop wearing the dress. Jericho wrapped up the show by taking on Kidman (who was Cruiserweight champion at the time). As Jericho went for his chain, Saturn came out and nailed Jericho, then started choking him as the show ended.
At Uncensored, Saturn came out wearing a dress made of chains and yellow contact lenses. To end a great match, Saturn hit the Death Valley Driver, finally getting the win over Jericho.
That was the end of the feud, as Jericho left WCW not long after and headed to the WWF. At least Saturn had his dress to remember him by.
Where are they now?
Chris Jericho left WCW and joined the WWF in June of 1999. He remains there today and is a former Intercontinental, European, Tag Team, Hardcore, and Undisputed World Champion.
Perry Saturn also left WCW, it just took a little longer. He left with Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, and Dean Malenko in January of 2000. In April of 2002, Saturn suffered a knee injury that required surgery on his ACL. In November he was released from the WWF.
Today, Saturn continues to compete on the independent circuit.
From the Mailbag
I got several requests this week. Keep them coming!
First up, I got requests for the DOA and Truth Commission, which brings up an important point. If any of you guys can point me toward a site with good WWF show recaps from 1997, that would be great. The site I’m currently using picks up in 1998, and recaps earlier than that are getting hard to find. The more detailed the better.
Also, I got several requests this week for Saturn’s WWF stuff. To those guys, I’ve got two words for ya:
Next Week
Perry Saturn’s life had to improve after jumping to the WWF with the rest of the Radicalz, right? Wrong.
