InsidePULSE’s WWE Smackdown Report

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WWE Smackdown for June 2nd, 2005. Taped from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Report by Brad Jennette, EXCLUSIVELY for www.insidepulse.com

We start the show with a recap of Kurt Angle winning the winner’s choice battle royal last week and choosing Sharmell T as his opponent.

Carlito’s Cabana
Carlito sucks up to Edmonton for a little bit before calling them the least coolest city in North America. Crowd immediately starts a “you suck” chant. The Great White North? Not cool. Wanna see something cool? Matt Morgan F5ing The Big Show through the announce table. Carlito says The Big Show won’t be at Smackdown tonight. Carlito says Morgan owns The Big Show just like Carlito owns his guest tonight. Carlito brings out your WWE champion John Cena. Cena comes out in a Wayne Gretzky #99 Edmonton Oilers jersey. Cena gets his usual monster pop. Cena gets on the mic and talks about the pretty spread Carlito has here. Cena calls Morgan a stuttering palm tree and proceeds to make fun of him while Morgan stutters out p-p-p-p-p-palm tree. Cena says Morgan has trouble getting to the p-p-p-p-p-point. Carlito says Cena shouldn’t make Morgan mad because Carlito can snap his fingers and Morgan will destroy him. Cena says Carlito isn’t cool. Cena says Carlito wears pastels, drinkins fruity drinks, and hangs out with Michael Cole wanna be’s. Cena compares Morgan to Michael Cole, draws laughs from everyone. The crowd starts a “Michael Cole” chant which might be the first time ever. Cena says everyone is sweating this draft, but if someone wants some, they can come get some. Cena says tonight its gonna be Carlito and Captain Morgan vs John Cena and his parter THE BIG SHOW.

Commercial break.

Backstage, Teddy Long is on his cellphone when Booker T storms in and demands his wife be taken out of the match with Kurt Angle. Teddy says he can’t really do anything about it except make it a handicap match. Tonight, it will be Booker and Sharmell against Kurt Angle.

Tag Team Titles Match: MNM (c) vs Charlie Haas and Hardcore Holly
This is basically a mini-iron match match. Most falls scored in 15 minutes wins the match and the titles. Haas and Nitro start us off. Haas works the mat and gets a couple of quick nearfalls. Haas hits a standing crossbody block for 2 and then tags in Holly. MNM fight over who wants to make the tag. Finally Mercury tags in, but he gets sent down with a high angle back suplex. Holly hits his kick to the nuts from the ropes for a 2 count. Holly puts Mercury in the corner and chops away. Mercury blocks a charge and hits a flying crossbody from the top rope. Holly rolls through it and gets a close 2 count. Holly comes back and looks for the Alabama Slam. Melina gets on the apron and distracts the referee as Nitro comes in and superkicks Holly. Mercury rolls Holly up for the 1-2-3!

MNM 1, Holly/Haas 0

We continue on with Nitro tagging in and trying his luck with Holly. Hardcore comes right back and works Nitro over with arm submissions. Harccore counters a German suplex attempt with a rollup for a close 2 as we go to a commercial break.

Commercial break.

We come back with 6:25 remaining and MNM up 2 falls to 0. Nitro was able to slam Haas into the ringpost with the referee distracted and Mercury was able to roll him up for the 1-2-3!

MNM 2, Holly/Haas 0

MNM continue to double team Haas when out of nowhere Haas counters an Oklahoma roll into a rollup of his own for the 1-2-3!

MNM 2, Holly/Haas 1

MNM immediately goes into “kill clock” mode. They tie Haas up in the ropes and let the clock run down. Holly makes the save, but it does little good. The champions dump Haas to the outside and simply let the clock run down. The champs continue their double team assault, keeping Haas in the corner as the clock continues to tick away. With about 2:20 remaining, Haas avoids a charge and lariats Mercury down. Haas makes the hot tag and Holly cleans house. Holly hits a full nelson driver on Mercury, but Nitro makes the save a 2 3/4s. Holly dumps Nitro and climbs to the top rope. Nitro recovers and crotches Holly on the top rope with about 40 seconds remaining. MNM go for the snapshot, but Haas comes out of nowhere and spears Nitro out of the ring. Holly recovers and hits the Alabama Slam on Mercury with 10 seconds left. Melina immediately rolls into the ring and lays on top of Mercury. Holly has to pull her off and that wastes just enough time so that when Holly covers Mercury, the clock runs out.
Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions: MNM

Commercial break.

They show a video recap of the entire Eddy Guererro/Rey Mysterio fued.

Commercial break.

ECW One Night Stand PPV Promo.

Kurt Angle vs Booker T. and Sharmell T.
Angle gets on the mic and says he wants to address something that happened last week. Angle says he couldn’t help but notice Tazz didn’t do commentary during his match last week. Angle says back in 1996 that Tazz disrespected him. They show a clip from an ECW show where Tazz shook hands with Angle and called him a great amateur wrestler, but he was a great professional wrestler. Angle calls Tazz a superstar. A superstar made by WWE, NOT ECW. Angle asks Tazz to be one of his Smackdown stars that are going to invade ECW and finally kill it once and for all. Tazz takes off his glasses, but doesn’t respond. Booker and wife finally come down to the ring and Angle immediately beats Booker down in the corner. Angle dumps Booker and turns toward Sharmell. She runs away and as Angle is chases her, he runs right into a lariat. Booker assaults Angle all around the ring, but Angle avoids a high kick and Booker crotches himself on the top rope. Angle stalks Sharmell on the outside and finally grabs her and tosses her into the ring. Angle puts Sharmell into the piledriver position and starts griding his hips. Booker makes the save and nails Angle with a Bookend. Booker goes up top, but Angle was playing possum and he hits a superplex on Booker. Both men are down and Sharmell tries a cover on Angle! It gets 2. Sharmell desperately tries to help her husband recover as we go to a commercial.

Commercial break.

We come back with Angle having Booker T locked into an arm and neck submission as Sharmell looks on concerned in the corner. Booker fights out and lands chops and right hands. Booker misses a charge and Angle hits the GERMAN GERMAN GERMAN triple Germans. Sharmell tries to get involved by jumping on Angle’s back. Angle quickly flips her over and takes her down and then…… cuddles with her? Booker makes the safe, but Angle quickly sends him down with and Angle Slam for a 2 count. Angle pulls the straps down and stalks Sharmell into the corner. She slaps Angle, then bites his nose. Sharmell tries to kick Angle in the nuts, but Angle quickly counters that into the ankle lock. Booker T makes the safe and just goes nuts on Angle. Angle AGAIN comes back and pancakes Booker, Sharmell, and the referee in the corner. Sharmell took a hard spill. Booker superkicks Angle out of the ring and goes to check on his wife. Angle comes back with a chair and drops Booker with two hard chairshots. Angle then rolls up Sharmell in a very provocative position for the 1-2-3!
Winner – Kurt Angle

Angle then lays on top of Sharmell, dominating her. He licks his lips and moves closer as Booker recovers and comes after him with the steel chair. Angle bails and celebrates up the ramp and Booker threatens his life.

Commercial break.

Heidenreich vs Devon Nicholson
Heidenreich gets on the mic and calls for a friend. He picks a young girl out of the audience and then proceeds to dominate Nicholson. Nicholson gets finished off pretty quickly with the Boss Man Slam.
Winner – Heidenreich

Backstage, Torrie, Michelle, Joy, and Miss Jackie(!) are discussing the possibility of them getting drafted by Raw. Mark Jindrak walks up and says Smackdown needs some new divas, because the current ones are getting old. Jindrak says Smackdown needs some new hoes, hoes that put out. The girls chase him off with various powdered makeup.

Commercial break.

Nunzio vs JBL
They bring up Nunzio’s history as Little Guido in ECW. They even mention he was part of the Full Blooded Italians. JBL, Orlando Jordan, and The Bashmans all WALK to the ring. Weak. Orlando’s hair is really out of control. JBL gets on the mic and says the reason he doesn’t have his cowboy hat on is because of ECW. JBL says wrestling is no longer a pure sport because of ECW. JBL says Paul Heyman was not a genius. JBL says Heyman has a lot of audacity to take credit for such superstars as Benoit, Eddy, Stone Cold, and Foley. He compares Heyman creating the superstars to Al Gore creating the internet. Heyman is a big fat lying pig stooge who bounced a lot of checks. JBL says you give a guy a gimmick and a kendo stick and call it wrestling, he calls it trash. JBL says the ECW DVD was bought in record numbers and that people are stupid for that. People shouldn’t chant ECW, they should chant JBL. JBL warns ECW to stay out of New York City, his hometown. JBL says he is proud to join to crusade to kill ECW. JBL asks Little Guido if its ok to make this make an “ECW Rules Match” JBL quickly boots Little Guido in the face and sends him to the outside. Little Guido goes to the outside of the ring and then quickly crawls under the ring. The cabinet searches for him, but can’t find him. Little Guido shows up on the other side of the ring with a kendo stick. Little Guido smashes JBL with the kendo stick 3 or 4 times and then proceeds to take out the rest of the cabinet with the stick. JBL quickly recovers and big boots Little Guido in the face. JBL hits a clothesline from hell then smashes Little Guido with the kendo stick for the 1-2-3!
Winner – JBL

Backstage, Booker T demands to finish off Kurt Angle once and for all. Teddy tells him that next week, if both men are still on Smackdown, they will have that match.

Commercial break.

John Cena & The Big Show vs Carlito & Matt Morgan
Show’s ribs and shoulders are both pretty well taped up here. Carlito and Big Show start us off here. Carlito bails immediately, but Cena throws him back in the ring. Show chops Carlito down, then throws him over the top rope onto the outside as we go to a commercial break.

Commercial break.

We come back with Big Show dominating Morgan in the corner with chops. Cena tags in and hits a back elbow in the corner. Cena SLAMS Matt Morgan and hits an elbow drop for 2. Morgan comes back with a big boot and then some stomps. Morgan chokes Cena down and then hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop of his own. Morgan goes back to the chokehold and breaks it at 4. Morgan hits a one handed scoop slam, but misses an elbow drop. Cena makes the hot tag to Big Show. Show dumps Carlito and then drops Morgan with a sideslam, but hurts his taped up ribs. Show chokes Morgan with his boot, but Carlito comes out of nowhere and hangs Show’s injured shoulder out on the top rope. Morgan drives his knee into Show’s injured ribs as Carlito takes a cheapshot left hand to the ribs. Show makes a mini-comeback, but Carlito cheapshots him again. Carlito tags in and he works over Big Show’s injured shoulder with stomps and axe handles. Morgan tags back in and he takes Big Show down with a Russian legsweep for 2. Morgan locks in a bearhug on Big Show’s injured ribs. Show powers his way out with a big headbutt. Morgan comes right back with a big boot to the injured shoulder. Carlito tags in, but Show is able to make the hot tag to Cena. Lariat! Lariat! Suplex! Shoulderblock! Blue Thunder Bomb! Show comes back and clotheslines Morgan over the top rope. Cena hits the five knuckle shuffle on Carlito. Cena pumps up the kicks and hits a picture perfect FU on Carlito for the 1-2-3!
Winners – Cena and Big Show

Postmatch, Cena checks on Show and proclaims him “The man” as we fade to black.

Tune in next week as Smackdown makes their first pick in the draft lotto!