Well, here we are again. Last week I wound up explaining the meaning of the wrestling universe in a rather bizarre fashion that didn’t involve saying a great deal or engaging my brain. Those of you that know me will know that is how I tend to operate, only usually with the assistance of better songs… Nonetheless, a week has come and gone and now it’s time to peek at the wrestling world once again. Thankfully, my eyes are wide awake and my brain is up for a fight this time. Unfortunately, due to a wonky wireless connection I was unable to download any of the wrestling shows this week as my limited bandwidth was instead more interested in obtaining some new albums from the legitimate businessman’s network. It’s great; the albums can be easily explained from the Evolution template. There’s Coldplay as Randy Orton (born into glory, bound by mediocrity), there’s The White Stripes as Batista (naturally cool but struggling to maintain it through no fault of their own), and there’s The Foo Fighters pulling double-duty as both Triple H and Ric Flair (read my review next week for a fuller explanation on that one). Still, we’re in the wrestling zone at the moment… I think… getting hard to tell these days… so I’ll just shut up about music for now and dredge up some news to recap. But before we get down to that, since I am such a whore, go and read my Oasis review for your chance to obtain a shiny new donkey and a bit of classic rock and roll to boot. Oh, yeah. Whore.
“Now all we need is a little Energon, and a lot of luck.”
The 2005 Draft Lottery finally kicks off this week, with the first two picks being made on Raw and Smackdown after several, several weeks of anticipation and speculation. You know, the sort of fantasy booking fanboy moments that just go on and on and on and clog up every damn wrestling website, newsgroup, forum, message board, magazine and AIM chat throughout the entire world, inflicting one crushing defeat after another upon you until you just wish that Flanders was dead. So hey, let’s have one last bout of the patented navel-gazing before it all kicks off. Why? Well, because I am an incredibly cruel person. I am angry at you. I want you to suffer. Concordantly… I don’t know what, I just liked typing the word concordantly. There, did it again. HA! The pleasure! Multiple orgasms! WHOOOOO!
Sorry, I just had a little nap, brains still frazzled. Less sense. Go hell. Sex later.
Anyway… In reverse order…
The Top 10 People Most Likely To Benefit From Being Drafted:
10/ TRIPLE H
He’s so low on this list for the simple reason that there is more chance of Vince McMahon leaving the wrestling business than there is of Triple H leaving Raw, just as last year’s Draft Lottery proved. However, there is no denying that the man is beyond stale by this point. Certain people have had the nerve to complain about the excellent long-running Guerrero/Mysterio storyline on Smackdown being too much of a good thing when they have HHH/Batista getting run into the ground for a third consecutive PPV main event?? Hell, it isn’t even like there’s a particularly good story to it in the first place. Triple H is a dick, Batista called him on it and took the title, and now Triple H wants it back. Yeah, great. Except that you could replace the name ‘Batista’ with ‘Benoit’ or ‘Michaels’ or ‘Goldberg’ and you’d have the exact same damn angle that’s been overshadowing the rest of Raw for the past three years. Worse yet, the only way they ever reach any resolution is for Triple H to eventually wind up with the title once again until the next pretender to the throne comes along. It probably wouldn’t be drastically different if Triple H were to be on Smackdown, but at least there would be more potential for growth and novelty than there would be if he remained on Raw. Plus which, we would get the wonderful prospect of having Hunter, Angle, Undertaker, Bradshaw and Holly all in the same locker room, providing the internet with more than enough material for the rest of the year. Shame it is guaranteed not to happen, though.
On a more realistic level, everyone’s favourite funny little foreign chap could stand to get out while the going is only marginally below good and head back to Smackdown. Though he’s tried his hardest with everything that he’s been given, he’s simply a complete non-entity on Raw at the moment through no fault of his own. For a while last year it looked as though they were taking him a bit more seriously, putting him in there with the likes of Benoit and Michaels as they battled Evolution in tag team main events. He certainly more than held his own, briefly becoming more popular than he ever had been since his WWE debut. Then they had DAVE kill him and it was back to Heat and the rancid tag team division for wee Yoshi. Now, even his alliance with William Regal has grown stale. Contrast this with the potential for some explosive matches over on Smackdown, where the company’s refusal to put someone like Tajiri into a Mysterio-sized main event slot wouldn’t mean we miss out on seeing his ability shining through after all. Give him and Paul London a 15 minute slot on PPV and they could steal the show. There’s a fairly easy storyline to be done with him, Funaki and Tajiri’s former associate, Akio. If the rumours are to be believed, we’ll soon have the likes of Super Crazy and Kazarian in the cruiserweight division too, so why not keep the quality stacked high with Tajiri to boot? Certainly once the ECW PPV has been and gone, people are going to be reminded of just what he can do if given a chance to shine. What’s more, even if WWE is never going to take him entirely seriously, he can still step up and help out with the heavyweights when needed. Orlando Jordan’s United States Title reign could certainly have used a boost from the Buzzsaw, for one…
08/ ROB VAN DAM
Last year it was Edge that came back from the dead as a fresh draft pick and went on to get the push of the masses. This year it could be RVD that gets the similar treatment, though obviously any notion of Rob getting a sustained title push is a bit much to hope for. Still, he could stand to get a massive reaction by turning up as a fresh pick the night after One Night Stand and already has a ready made storyline for him that could last for months if done right. Eric Bischoff is the boss on Raw that hates ECW, hates hardcore wrestling and hates anybody that dares to not shut up and follow orders. Rob Van Dam is now effectively Mister Extreme after double-daring Vince into putting on One Night Stand, doesn’t really give a crap about what anybody wants him to do, and loves hardcore wrestling. They’re the new Odd Couple. Get RVD out there to tackle Bischoff’s anti-ECW crew, perhaps with an assist from Chris Benoit, and take it from there.
Simple – I want a Eugene & Heidenreich tag team. I want to make Eric S’s head burst with rage…
06/ ROB CONWAY
La Resistance are deader than Elvis by this point. Grenier is a complete liability in the ring. Conway is a genuinely talented wrestler. Conway might not be charismatic enough to make it as a genuine solo superstar, but he is far from the dullest person trying to do that. Conway would be a perfectly acceptable mid-carder. Smackdown needs more perfectly acceptable non-cruiserweight mid-carders. The United States Title definitely does. These are all unarguable points, I feel. And hey, if the worst comes to the worst then just reunite him with Rene Dupree.
05/ SHAWN MICHAELS
If Triple H can only possibly be refreshed by leaving Raw, then Shawn Michaels sure as hell needs the same treatment. The two of them have been the yin and the yang of the show for far too long now that really, one or both of them needs to be removed. Rip out the core and upgrade the engine… stop living in the past… you’re not sending me to the cooler… Woah, sorry, didn’t mean to drag up painful memories… Plus, they really do need to send at least one big name over to Smackdown if the show is to still have a hope in hell of getting a decent new TV deal next year. Adding Michaels not only allows them to do this, it also offers up a number of tantalising dream matches. Nobody would be able to resist a potential Angle/Michaels II at SummerSlam. Similarly, think how much mileage they could get from a Michaels/Guerrero feud (a match that, to my knowledge, has never been done). Not to mention Michaels/Mysterio just for the hell of it, or one more Michaels/Undertaker bout for old time’s sake, or a highly enjoyable Michaels/JBL brawl, or of course a Michaels/Cena feud that could be the icing on the cake of Cena’s title reign. It would certainly benefit Michaels’ ego to boot, since there’s no chance in hell he will ever get a decent title reign on Raw again as it will inevitably lead to a feud with you-know-who, which was driven into the ground a long time ago.
04/ CHRIS JERICHO
Ah, Chris. You gloriously apathetic bastard. I am of course, referring to his new on-screen persona. Obviously. I’m sure the real Chris Jericho is all about the interest and the action and the pussy. To be honest, I don’t want him to leave Raw until they give us some sense of closure to this interesting little thing he’s got going on with Shelton Benjamin. Though, of course, he remains all about the pussy. Of course. In the long run, however, he has been treading water on Raw for the longest possible time now. Hell, he’s been treading water since before there even was such a thing as WWE. Sending him over to Smackdown probably wouldn’t solve this overnight, but it’s as good a place as any to start. Maybe an H free environment is just what he needs. Maybe he’d just wind up overshadowing Carlito. Maybe he is curious and somewhat flattered by the appeal of the cock. Maybe. Maybe a man with that haircut shouldn’t leave us surprised by anything. Maybe.
03/ CHARLIE HAAS
Blah, blah, blah, Shelton Benjamin, blah, blah, blah, World’s Greatest Tag Team, blah, blah, blah, Bob Holly sucks, blah, blah, blah, Intercontinental Title, blah, blah, blah, The Berzerker.
02/ RANDY ORTON
This one works on two levels. Firstly, you remember that recent skit when Mark Jindrak was hoping the draft would get some new Divas on Smackdown because he was fed up with the current ones? Yeah, well, that sort of works in reverse for Orton going in the other direction. But if everyone’s most notorious man-whore could pull up his pants for just a moment and stop taking a crap in that chick’s bag, he might just realise that it could benefit him in other, more professional ways. For starters, he would be freed once and for all from the overwhelming spectre of Evolution that is always, always, always going to be there to haunt him should he remain on Raw. Everything he does on that show now will always be compared to how Batista succeeded where he failed and to how Triple H almost succeeded in proving the old theory of “I created you and now I can destroy you.” A move to Smackdown not only frees him from all of that, it also allows him and the creative team to get some common sense and, for lack of a better term, find his smile. Bring back the incredibly smug, overbearingly contemptuous heel that the fans were so into last spring. Not to mention that he already has a feud with The Undertaker lined up for his return to action, which is nothing to sneeze at. Speaking of sneezing, do we really believe this reputation of Orton as a ladies man? Because he does sort of look like he should be tucked up safely in bed by 8pm, writing in his journal and carefully chewing the hamburgers his mummy has thoughtfully cut up into manageable bit-sized pieces for him…
Oh, come on. If we are at all lucky then by this time next year, we’ll all be bitching about how creative and management have made Christian jump the shark to fit in with all the success he’s achieved, just like Batista and Cena. And why not? The man clearly deserves to be pushed high enough to run out of sky. He has been the sole shining light on the limp Raw brand in the lean post-WrestleMania months. It seems a little odd to reward him for this by taking him off the show, but it is so in keeping with his character and offers up so many entertaining possibilities that it is quite irresistible. He has been calling for a potential match with John Cena ever since January, showing a remarkable perseverance and level of continuity not usually seen in wrestling these days, and it has gathered more and more pace since Cena’s title win and the announcement of the Draft Lottery. The one potential stumbling block in this is perhaps Randy Orton. The possibility of Orton or Christian going to Smackdown has been greatly foreshadowed in recent weeks, with one wanting to go and the other one not so keen, so it seems unlikely that both of them would get to go. One of them surely will, and let’s hope Christian gets the nod. Hell, Hatton and I cooked up one hell of an interesting ride for Christian’s attempts to get drafted. I’m not entirely sure how, but we wound up with Tyson Tomko as Conquistador #3 running rampant in the cruiserweight division. Crazy, crazy, nights, life is a radio, turn up to ten, crazy, crazy nights, you got the touch, you got the power, yeah.
More importantly – bah weep granna weep ni ni bong. Welcome to June, the Draft Lottery month of needless speculation and disappointing reality. Funky!
“Me, Grimlock, not ‘nice dino.’ ME BASH BRAINS.”
To keep up this needless fascination with entirely obvious news items, ECW One Night Stand is now closer than ever before (until tomorrow). It also offers further proof of just why democracy is as futile and idealistic as communism. Really, have you heard the nonsensical complaints being banded about over this show now? These strange little creatures that dedicated their lives to watching sweaty, hairy, generally out-of-shape in both the physical and mental way men knock years off of one another’s lifespan with chairs and tables and beer cans and whatever the hell else was there actually have the gall to try and tell people how they should be running an international multimedia, multi-million dollar company? Unless you are in a drunken stupor there really is no excuse for this. You all spent years bitching at the WWF and WCW for daring to want to do something different from what you liked to do, even though the main reason you were bitching at them was because you were pissing them off in turn by doing something they didn’t like. Then, when your little bingo hall false idols decided to go and play on the other side of the proverbial financial street, you turned on them with a vengeance. Then, when said bingo hall was wolfed down by the inevitable bankruptcy of a man stupid enough to go broke even when being subsidised by a billionaire from the other side of said street, you cried and bitched and moaned your little hearts out with more passion than you would show if your own mother had died. And you just didn’t let it die. You kept the dream alive. That I could respect. But you didn’t let the dream grow any. You didn’t try to even let any semblance of reality into the mixture. No, you just decided to bitch about ticket prices and booking ideas and the wrong people doing the wrong things on the night, even though the show hasn’t actually happened yet. Seriously, just shut the f*ck up. You know deep inside that ECW is not going to make you happy unless you somehow invent a time machine and go back to that very first time when you saw Raven humiliating Tommy Dreamer, or Brian Pillman calling you on all your bullshit, or when you buried Public Enemy, or whenever that magical moment was. You’re nothing but a junkie chasing a fix that has been and gone. ECW is dead and buried. You can bitch all you want and chant that incessant, irritating “Eeezydub!” chant all you want, it doesn’t change this. Now someone is being kind enough to give you the chance to dream out loud for one more night and you still have to find fault? Sure, they are exploiting you for financial profit but then, so was Paul Heyman. The bottom line is that you will end up watching this show and you will end up finding fault with it even though it has Guerrero/Benoit and Mysterio/Psychosis matches on the card. You may all be even more annoying than Bob Geldof.
And what the f*ck is Geldof’s problem anyway? The man is a fool and he’s exploiting the unfortunate human tendency for idealistic hypocrisy to try and dupe the world into following some obscure vision about rock and roll affecting change. HA! The only thing rock and roll ever changed was the bank balances of the people at the top of its food chain, all of which went sky-rocketing upwards and never looked back. You want to feed the f*cking world then go down to Wal-Mart with Bono, empty your damn coffers on cut-price value food, get out there, get your hands dirty and f*cking try and do it yourself before you expect me to help you. And get the f*ck out of my damn city too. Come on, Edinburgh has a population of roughly 500,000 and you want 1,000,000 people to march there? Am I the only sensing any sort of a problem with this plan? Bad enough we have to put up with the imbecilic tourist trade at Hogmanay and for the Festival but at least the police and the council have several months to plan and prepare for those. But oh no, let’s just get double the population of the town in out of political naivety and the sad, desperate, longing to be a part of some grand cultural revelation for a generation. Great, so we get both the hippies and the f*cking students. Christ, get Cartman on the phone. We need someone to shut these bastards up and the only famous person with the balls to say anything about it is the one that doesn’t exist. Great. This is what happens when you send people off to die in a meaningless war so you can hold onto the right to vote in Big Brother and Pop Idol. We’re all f*cked in the head. You really think this is going to f*cking change a damn thing?! Come on, wake up. Humans are not only scared to say what they really think for fear of reappraisal, they not only want to give up their precious freedom to live in a f*cking ant farm of approval, but they are cruel, vicious, twisted bastards that will have no problem whatsoever in cruel, vicious and twisted things happening to other people in other places so long as their own mundane lives can go own as mundanely as possible. So the world is exploiting Africa? Big deal, in time they’ll grow up and join us when we’re off raping and pillaging Mars or something. Go and block it all out of your heads with some suitably catchy commercial jingle for a sugar product of your choosing. Either that or an ECW PPV.
And that was an entirely random ending to an entirely unrelated rant, but hey, at least we’re back on schedule now. Let’s see what Shane Douglas recently had to say about One Night Stand…
“Vince McMahon could care less about the ECW legacy. He’s just trying to find a way to jumpstart his product by using ECW. Whether that works, the fans will decide.”
First of all Shane, the proper expression is that he could not care less. If he could care less then he obviously does care about it to some degree. If he could not care less, it is obviously completely meaningless to him. So get it right before I lose interest in this paragraph and go pick my crotch. As for the very notion of an ECW legacy… sure, okay, I’ll play along and call it a ‘legacy’, why not? In this case, Vince obviously could care about it as it will make him money. It has with the Rise & Fall DVD, it is with One Night Stand, and it will with future DVD releases and a potential second PPV next June. In commonly held beliefs, this is a good thing.
“If WWE weren’t so arrogant and allowed ECW to have its own day of glory, WWE could have done another ECW show two months down the road with a WWE invasion and the fans wouldn’t care. By not doing that, they’re disenfranchising a lot of ECW fans.”
Okay, I can see where you’re coming from with this train of thought. However, you’re getting a little ahead of yourself. They really shouldn’t overplay this ECW hand. The greatest weakness of WWE in recent times has been to repeatedly beat their fan-base over their heads with a good idea until it gets killed off by ridicule and apathy. ECW at the moment is held in nothing but the highest regards, as the countless posts by fans of dubious intelligence on several forums currently shows. Too much of a good thing is nearly always a bad thing eventually, so for now let’s just stick to the rough plan of having one annual show. As for the WWE involvement, well, they are the ones planning the show and they believe that to sell it they have to promote it on their TV shows, just like any other PPV they have done. To promote it, they need to offer their fan-base a hook to latch onto and hopefully become interested in to the tune of $35 or however much this show is going to be. To this end, they have taken two of their very best speakers in Eric Bischoff and Kurt Angle, two men who have a well-documented dislike of what ECW did back in the day, and have played on their heel status to big ECW up as a good thing in the eyes of the fans that may not have been paying attention when it was around. The show sells itself to the ECW crowd. WWE’s pursuit of money has led them to try and promote it to a wider audience, which isn’t such a strange concept. Plus, your words sound like little more than sour grapes over your own Hardcore Homecoming show being largely ignored in lieu of the actual ECW event.
You can read these sour grapes in full here.
Speaking of Kurt Angle, he’s recently been explaining his lack of love for all things extreme in this interview. In his words, “ECW almost ruined the business as a whole. Fans started to expect everyone and everybody to go through tables and get hung by barbed wire and it just really pulled the business back years and years.”
My, I hope he wasn’t speaking in character then.
On the other side of the extreme debate, Rob Van Dam gave nothing but hugs and kisses to ECW in this interview. Well, I say ‘interview’ but it was with The Sun newspaper, so let’s not give them too much credit. Mmmm… spite…
Anyway, the basic gist of it is this…
“There will definitely be attempts to sabotage the possibility of ECW reaching any stage of progression, there has been all the way, even back before ECW did the Invasion angle. It will always be a problem because there are certain voices higher-up that like to flatten out anything that could jeopardise their stronghold, rather than seeing the overall benefit to the industry of something like this.”
Maybe. Maybe you just want to make a stronghold for yourself as the self-proclaimed saviour of ECW. Maybe you’ve got six and they’ve got half-a-dozen.
“The original plan was to have only ECW alumni on this show. There is no place for somebody pretending they’re hardcore when they were never there, whether they’ve got a sledgehammer in their hand or not! The WWE writers are taking part in the show, but us true hardcore ECW guys will vote out anything ridiculous they try to add to it.”
Let speculation begin on why Rob chose to name that particular weapon of choice… Anyway, I’ve covered the reasons for the involvement of a handful of recognisable WWE characters in this show and really, they are perfectly valid viewpoints. The only way to pass judgement on them is to watch the show and see just how involved they become in it. At this stage they are all going to get booed out of the damn building when they show up, and when the inevitable happens and they get a right shit-kicking from the Dudleys or whoever, it will garner the pop of the night and give the aforementioned junkie fans a facsimile of what it would be like for ECW to conquer the Big Bad of WWE. A feel good hit all around, methinks. So really, stop bitching in advance. It tires me.
“I’m planning on definitely getting on the microphone and coming forward to take credit for not only this ECW PPV, but also for my time in ECW, what I achieved and how we changed the entire wrestling industry. It’s going to be really personal and intimate between me and the crowd.”
Uh-huh, and here we finally get to the true story. Rob’s just like everybody else, all of them needy and alone and desperate for their moment of recognition and approval. How can the fans possibly keep whining about all of this WWE involvement when the guy that made the show happen is only going to be there to bask in the majestic glory of his own existence? What’s next, the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence? Rob goes on to pitch the idea of a rematch with Jerry Lynn as the main event of the potential follow-up ECW PPV (which really pisses on the idea of having a One Night Stand, but what the hell). If Triple H were to do something like this then we’d all be writing vague columns about him using old ’80s tunes…
“Turbo revin young punk. I’ll straighten you out yet.”
In almost completely-unrelated-to-ECW-or-Draft-Lottery news, Kevin Kelly recently proved that he had a pair of balls in this rant-tastic interview. He didn’t exactly say anything highly original or shocking, but it is still quite surprising to see one of the many Pettengills to have worked in wrestling actually has, like, opinions and stuff? Word.
Anyway, here are the surprising and shocking insights into the terrifying world of Kevin Kelly…
– Lita “has no talent, and she has no ability at all” except for “her ability to pleasure men away from the ring”. I’d wager that most of her pleasured men end up spending a fair bit of time in the ring, actually.
– Triple H “is going to make sure no-one gets over more than him” and “if you don’t have the right political clout in that company, it’s going to come back and haunt you.” Oh yes, because that is not the case in every other company on the planet… He also used an example of Triple H saying “Fuck D-Lo Brown, I don’t care about him” when Vince Russo was trying to persuade him to work an angle with D-Lo. I don’t think that counts, actually. Who the f*ck does care about D-Lo Brown anyway? Hell, that line makes me want to not hate Triple H after all, it’s f*cking hilarious.
– Vince McMahon has a lot of money and doesn’t know what he’s doing but he also has a lot of luck and so gets away with it. A truly startling insight into the history of the McMahons, I know.
– Matt Hardy needs more testicular fortitude. He also needs a hammock! There’s a cure for the blues if ever I did pass out on one with a snowman for a pillow…
– The genuine born-again religious peeps in wrestling include Shawn Michaels and Eddie Guerrero, though Kelly is not entirely convinced by Vince Russo. I’m not entirely convinced that I give a f*ck what Kelly thinks about the way other people use their religion. So what if they decided to use it to gain that much sought-after political clout? At least they’re not using it as an excuse to go and kill people for oil.
“Roger me. Wilco me. Anything. Hello. Hello. Earth?”
Mick Foley will be releasing his second novel, Scooter, on the 23rd August. Here is the press release…
“The time is 1969. Scooter Riley is a regular kid growing up in the Bronx, on Shakespeare Avenue, just north of Yankee Stadium. His father, Patrick Riley, is a New York City cop; his beat is Harlem, streets that are getting rougher by the day in the wake of the assassinations of Dr. King and Bobby Kennedy. Riley’s Spartan code of ethics and unwavering sense of duty to his neighborhood and the Force will carry him through; neither homicide nor drugs are going to get in his way, even if his wife does want them to get the hell out of the Bronx and for him to take a “safe” job somewhere in the suburbs. He’s happy with things as they are and wants to make time stand still, going to Yankee games in the neighborhood as he did growing up (as a boy he’d waited for hours to meet Joe D. – the great Yankee Clipper – and collected two decades of Yankee autographs of Yogi, Larson, Lopat, Mantle, too; on yearbooks, scorecards, ticket stubs, Spaldeens). Riley wants his son, Scooter-named after Yankee shortstop Phil Rizzuto, MVP, 1950-to have a childhood just like his own.
Scooter doesn’t get the same thrill his father gets from going to Yankee Stadium and watching the players “punch it through the hole,” or “spray it all around.” He loves his father but yearns for his own style – in baseball and in life.
His grandfather, a fireman for thirty years and horribly scarred, harbors a dark secret that has caused a deep rift between him and Scooter’s dad. Scooter’s grandfather sees the game of baseball as the game of life itself – to him all of life’s great lessons are explained in baseball lore, and he teaches Scooter to play the game in a way that’s different from how his father wants him to play. He teaches Scooter as well that life can be defined in a few extraordinary moments – moments of courage, of cowardice – when the ability to act, or not, defines who you are, and who you will become.
Into this world, a world that becomes increasingly less kind to Scooter, the defining moments his grandfather has warned him about come at a rapid pace, and as the years pass and Scooter grows up, it is through baseball, and its timeless rhythms, that the defining moments in Scooter’s life are played out – and that the boy he is now, and the young man he will become, are shaped.”
Hmm, great, another baseball story. I’ve been to one baseball game in my life and I left after fifteen minutes due to excessive boredom. Then again, who cares?
Double M has the latest WWE rankings up for all to see. Lovin’ that Women’s Division!
Gordi writes about what he considers to be the Greatest Rivalry of All Time. I remain unconvinced, but fair play to him.
Lambert writes about NWA-TNA with far more care and attention than anybody in NWA-TNA could or deserves to achieve.
Andy kinda does the same thing.., kinda…
Coren reviews the latest issue of what is, hands-down, the best superhero comic book being published today.
There’s also this little oddity that I stumbled upon through Googling the Universal Greeting. I have no idea what it is all about but I love it and think it could let me see through time if I just stare hard enough…
Gloomchen I am sure has stuff up on the site somewhere, but just go here instead. Such cuteness there shall be.
This column has been brought to you in conjunction with…
– Oasis – Don’t Believe the Truth
– Budweiser. The non-American, non-pish Budweiser.
– Transformers: The Movie, where all of the answers are to be found.
– A whole lotta love, a whole lotta hate and just the right amount of right.
AOL IM: KingKongBurnside
Iain Burnside is currently happy to be referred to as The Grumpy One.