The Crucifix


Welcome to the official end of wrestling as we know it…or have known it for the last year. Come to think of it, not much will change with the draft. The main players will not move, save for one or two. Also, if Triple H is one of the ones that moves, Raw tag division, women’s division and all midcarders will be on Smackdown because, quite frankly, Raw would NEVER survive without the almighty. On with the show…


– Carlito gets into a verbal confrontation with John Cena, who also makes fun of Matt Morgan. They announce Carlito and Morgan against Cena and Big Show.
– Teddy Long changes the Sharmell/Angle match to a Booker T and Sharmell vs. Angle match.
– MNM def. Holly and Haas in a Tinfoilman Match
– Angle comes out for his match but mouths off to Tazz before starting. They tease a fight.
– Kurt Angle def. Booker T and Sharmell via the Gutterslut Rollup.
– Angle gets a little domination time in before Booker T breaks it up.
– Heidenreich def. Devon Nicholson
– Mark Jindrak talks about how Smackdown needs some new Divas. The current crop of whores run him off.
– JBL def. Nunzio in an ECW rules match. This was after his promo about hating ECW, which I’ll get to in a bit.
– Teddy Long announces that if they aren’t drafted, it’s Angle vs. Booker T next week.
– Big Show and John Cena def. Carlito and Matt Morgan

The Smackdown Membrane
– Teddy Long is guilty of illegally changing a match.
– Tazz is guilty of bitching out of a fight with Angle.
– Kurt Angle is guilty of assault with a weapon on Booker T. He is also guilty of complete domination with Sharmell.
– JBL is guilty of being a dick, which I’ll get to, like I said before.

– I think they should pull Morgan off the road or have him get hit by a chair, come back two weeks later with a cane and a hat and be called Captain Morgan.
– Is Bob Holly off my screen yet? Please?
– Knowing how Angle, unlike anyone else not named Eric Bischoff, has at least some history with ECW, I was happy to see him cut his promo and I was begging for Tazz to hit the ring.
– All I want is for Angle to break Sharmell’s ankle.
– Mark Jindrak brings up a very valid point; the Divas on Smackdown are getting old. They also suck.
– JBL is a dick, which I’ll get to in a bit, just sit tight.
– Blah blah main event, blah blah.

The Crown of Thorns: Raw

– Chris Jericho will welcome Carlito to the Raw roster.
– Victoria will take out Christy with a Widow’s Peak through a car sunroof.
– Chris Jericho will be drafted to Smackdown.
– Triple H will cut a 45 minute promo…but the ratings will be someone else’s fault.

Send In Your Predictions

Like I really have to say it…ok I will. SHEEEEEEEEEEE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.

Visit Victoria at

– Joey Styles will be announcing at One Night Stand, which is funny because he always said he never work for WWE. I guess Apter pulled out.

– The other part of the above news is that Rob Van Dam came out and said this, among other things, here. I am very happy with RVD for this. He doesn’t need to bullshit anyone and he says what he thinks. Of course the ultimate drawing card, Triple H, probably fumed over this. Either that or he said “Steph! Why do I have to go into Hell In A Cell? Batista should just give me the title back. Write it baby, the fans will eat it up, I pwomise.”

– WWE has a bunch of new people going places. I’m more interested to see “The Miz” play a character than anything else.

Rainin’ Fire Like Apache Helicoptas

This is new, and this is where I rage. Thanks for the title Cena. Once a week, I’m letting it all hang out…this week, JBL…

Now folks, JBL is a dick. Most of us in the wrestling community know this. I can accept The Undertaker as an authority figure backstage. I can accept Triple H as an authority figure backstage. I cannot accept Bob Holly as one. I sure as hell cannot accept JBL as one. Bradshaw, while his current character is the best one he has had, has never done anything of good or of any importance for wrestling. He is an asshole who bullies people around and thinks that just because WWE has somehow decided to keep him on the payroll longer than most guys, he should be able to do as he pleases with all talent backstage. Then came Smackdown on Thursday. His interview was heavily edited because most felt is was too harsh against ECW and against certain people. JBL doesn’t like Lance Storm. Probably because Storm is more talented than him. In his unedited interview he said Storm couldn’t sell out an arena if the tickets and beer were free. He said the only big thing Blue Meanie ever did was marry a porn star. Funny thing, the bWo shirts probably sold more than the APA shirts. He raged into ECW and the people he didn’t like. And for what? It was all edited out. JBL will be at One Night Stand. He, of course, will be in some sort of altercation with the talent there. I have this message to the talent:

FUCK HIM UP. If you aren’t under contract to WWE and never will be, be as stiff with him as humanly possible. Take a kendo stick and make this bitch blind. End his career. He thinks he is better than you. He thinks he is above all this. He is only there for a paycheck and he’s going to be a dick. You don’t have to take it, so don’t.

My message to JBL:
You lousy piece of shit. You are nothing, nothing to this business. You were a lousy wrestler when you started, you were a lousy wrestler in the APA. You sucked when they tried to push you after the brand split, and you suck now. Just because you got to wear that WWE Title doesn’t mean a damn thing. You were carried to every decent match you had. Your book is garbage. So you come off and shoot hard about ECW? You talk about Lance Storm, who has more talent in one bootlace than you do in your miserable body. Just because whatever significant other you have looks like shit, don’t criticize Meanie, who, at the very least, is more entertaining than you. This is what you can’t accept JBL: You would not have survived in ECW. The fans would’ve taken a Randy Orton sized dump on you when you came out and wrestled your shitty matches. You wouldn’t have lasted. That bothers you. Because if Vince McMahon wasn’t blind to your bullshit, you wouldn’t have had a job. Take your advice, take your stocks and do us all a favor JBL: Shut the f*ck up.

Daniels is alive! He also has many of my thoughts in his cranium.

– Will my picks for the Draft Lottery hold up?

Yup, it was short, but very therapeutic, so I hope you enjoyed. Until Thursday…oh wait…I forgot…adios…but if you’re Hispanic, keep reading, as I am now en espanol.

Recepción al final oficial de la lucha como lo sabemos… o lo hemos sabido para el año pasado. Venido pensar en él, cambiará no mucho con el bosquejo. Los jugadores principales no se moverán, excepto para uno o dos. También, si H es uno de los que se mueve, división sin procesar de la etiqueta, división de los womens y todos los midcarders estarán en Smackdown porque, absolutamente franco, sin procesar NUNCA sobreviviría sin el Todopoderoso. En con la…


– Escucho, era apenas de mierda con usted. Haré quizá algún día esta cosa en español… no hoy sin embargo. Apesadumbrado mis programas de lectura hispánicos leales.