Well it’s about time! Last Monday marked the return of a favorite character for many of us, the Evil-Psycho-Heel Victoria. It’s about time they did something interesting with this talented, athletic, charismatic performer.
TODAY’S ISSUE: Victoria’s Heel [Re]Turn
Sick of seeing “divas” pretend to wrestle? Tired of all those “lingerie pillow fights” and “bikini contests” on your favorite WWE programming? Well, Victoria is your answer! The evil Queen has returned to terrorize the women’s division! There hasn’t been a better feud over the women’s title than Victoria’s crazed quest to destroy Trish Stratus and take her championship away. Victoria was a focused, intense, determined character with a storyline reason to hate Trish and yearn for total Stratistruction.
Apparently Trish and Victoria were both on the fitness model circuit, when one day Trish “got the call” and made it all the way to the then-WWF to manage the talented team of Test and Albert, all the while displaying her “assets” for the world to see. Trish promised her friend Victoria that she’d put in a good word for her, and bring her along for the ride. However, the way Victoria described it Trish slept her way to the top of the WWF and left her friend in the dust. “Vengeance is mine!” thought Victoria.
When Victoria finally arrived, she terrorized Trish for months, and the two engaged in the best women’s division feud I’ve ever witnessed. Their matches were hard-hitting and loaded with intensity. It actually felt as if the Women’s Championship suddenly meant something in the scheme of WWF programming. Storyline reasoning, character motivation, entertaining matches with interview time to really “sell” those matches. This feud had it all.
But much to my dismay, and without as much as a token storyline explanation, Victoria the Wicked changed her ways. She began kissing babies and waving to the crowd, while dancing her way down the aisle. She incorporated a fan-friendly booty quiver into her repertoire before delivering her impressive standing moonsault. She stopped acting crazy. She no longer seethed with hatred. She was just one of the gals, lovin’ life and shaking her money maker. This was a poorly-conceived, poorly-planned and very weak face turn. It hurt the character and turned off viewers by failing to explain itself. Thankfully, creative has seen fit to rectify the situation via Victoria’s tantrum after “losing” a bikini contest on Raw last week.
Finally, her focus and raison d’etre have surfaced again. Victoria is tired of all the cheesecake nonsense on the ladies roster, and resents the fact that Christy Hemme wrestled for the title at WrestleMania (so am I, in fact), while Victoria sat on the sidelines. In fact, I would love to see Victoria go on a “Diva Rampage”, destroying the whole lot of them in matches, backstage attacks and so forth. This would be a great story for the draft lottery as the SmackDown divas could be unfamiliar with Victoria’s crusade, and approach her after somebody switches rosters. “Hey, Girlfriend, so nice to meet you! My name is… Owww! Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!”
I am thrilled to see the return of the “real” Victoria. Hopefully creative will stick with it and allow this character to develop before our very eyes. If this new Victoria hates non-wrestler chicks like Christy Hemme, she certainly has a full dance card. There’s lots of divas for Victoria to mow down on both brands, and a new Raw Diva Search is looming like a cloud of locusts on the horizon. Go get ’em, Queen Victoria!
Her appearance on Raw last night started out promisingly enough. During their ring entrance for the six-person mixed tag team match, the Heart Throbs tried to hit Victoria with the “Duffman is thrusting his hips in the direction of the Evil Diva” routine, and she angrily shoved them off of her. She showed that old intensity in her eyes, and I fully expected her to nail both of her partners and compete three-on-one. Alas, it all went downhill from there. I saw three things in that match that damaged my faith in Victoria’s rebirth:
1. The mere fact that Victoria teamed with the ridiculous Heart Throbs. Not exactly a huge push for the former Women’s Champion.
2. Christy Hemme kicked the crap out of Victoria, although the clothelines Hemme “attacked” Victoria with were like a toothpick being tossed at a brick wall. Still, Victoria sold like mad for the covergirl.
3. After the match, Victoria begged off from Hemme on the floor outside the ring. What, is she afraid of skinny models now? Give me a break!
She had better destroy Hemme, and soon.
By the way, some folks have started to recognize similarities between the ECW One Night Stand ppv and the botched InVasion angle. Seems were looking at Raw/SmackDown vs. ECW, rather than the originally planned one night reunion of hardcore stars in one of their familiar venues. Here’s a scary harbinger on that note – last Thursday on SmackDown, the commercials for the ECW ppv featured the song “Bodies” by Drowning Pool. That very song was the SummerSlam theme song during the InVasion! (cue ominous music)
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
p.s. – Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
