Last week, on Hit Me Baby 1 More Time, Vanilla Ice won the audience favourite vote. Who will join him and Arrested Development as audience favourites for a night?
Vernon Kay and his freakish palm pointing are back to explain the rules. His accent is quickly regressing to resemble Jason Staltham.
Anyways, first up is…
Wang Chung
Signature Hit: Everybody Have Fun Tonight
Others: Dance Hall Days
Random Notes: Does anyone know what the hell “Everybody Wang Chung tonight” means? In that vein, what does it mean when you really, really want to zigazighah?
Wang Chung is apparently represented by two guys who have NOT aged very well. The singer gets the cheap pop by saying “Los Angeles”. A spirited performance, though.
Vernon asks what Wang Chung means. Wang Chung apparently means something, but the band isn’t saying. Wang Chung is “singing” the spelling-challenged Nelly’s “Hot In Herre”. Good luck with that.
Up next…
Sophie B Hawkins
Signature Hit: Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover
Others: As I Lay Me Down, Right Beside You
Random Notes: Yes, the song is in fact about a woman. Right Beside You became, of all things, a decent dance hit. She earned a Best New Artist nomination for “Damn”, proving that the Grammy people sure know how to pick artists with staying power.
Damn, Sophie looks pretty good. Nice rip in the ass part of her jeans, too. Singing, not so good. However, there’s hints of her smoky voice, she holds the glory note pretty well, and gets the audience into it. That’s about all you can ask for, I guess.
Vernon asks what the “B” stands for, which isn’t all that lame, except that he essentially asked Wang Chung the same fricking question. Sophie’s singing “100 years” by Five For Fighting. Hopefully she can make it not suck.
Ad Break
We’re back, and up next is
Cameo
Signature Hit: Word Up
Others: She’s Strange, Single Life
Random Notes: You may have heard this song recently – Korn of all bands did a cover of the songs, and it went over well enough that the band is considering an entire album of covers. Cameo was considered the successor to funk bands like Parliament, and they were probably popular with the makers of jock straps.
Good Lord, they’re wearing the codpiece. And they’ve kidnapped Wesley Snipes as Blade to play bass. Overall though, it’s a fun, flashy performance, and you can’t fault them for that – that’s half of what funk is all about.
Vernon wants a codpiece. That seems a bit too personal, I think. Cameo is singing “1985” by Bowling For Soup. Somehow appropriate, I suppose.
Going from Funk to Lite Pop, we’ve got
Howard Jones
Signature Hit: No One Is To Blame
Others: New Song, Things Can Only Get Better, What Is Love
Random Notes: Kind of surprised to see Howard here, but I think he was more popular in Canada than the US, so there you go. Anyways, I guess he could be considered one of the forerunners of today’s BritPop scene.
Howard’s got the grand piano out, and it’s like he never really left the business. He probably hasn’t, given how much we know about the UK music scene. I was hoping he’d do something more like his “Live Acoustic America” version, but you can only ask for so much in 2’30”.
Howard’s cover song is Dido’s “White Flag”. Should be decent, I think.
Ad Break
We’re back, and our final performer is
Irene Cara
Signature Hit: Flashdance (What A Feeling)
Others: Fame, Out There On My Own
Random Notes: Two hit songs from movies, and nothing else. OK, she was one of the stars of the movie Fame, and she’s got an Oscar for Flashdance, plus two other Academy Award nominations. Not too shabby.
You know, it’s kind of sad when you can’t sing your own songs well anymore. Irene Cara tries to do that pop diva thing with all the runs and shit, but it just doesn’t work – they didn’t rely on that crap in the 80s.
Irene will be singing “I’m Outta Love” by Anastacia later. Ah yes, why not sing a song by someone that most Americans haven’t heard of. I suppose it makes sense though – if it’s a choice between her and Coco Lee…
Ad Break
We’re back, and it’s time for the cover versions.
Wang Chung are back in the studio, but their main focus is on their families.
“Hot In Herre” – Wow, that was… bizarre. Old Brits shouldn’t do rap. Although, Nelly isn’t really rap, is he? The chorus is somewhat cool, though – they managed to give it a haunting feel. Overall though, that was just wrong. 4/10
Sophie B Hawkins lives in Venice, CA where she bikes and paints.
“100 Years” – She’s got an evening dress on. And she has, in fact, made the song bearable to listen to – remaking it into a jazzy torch song. Really nice. 7.5/10
Ad Break
Cameo are still just doing whatever the hell it is they’ve been doing.
“1985” – Well, they gave it a good go, but the song just doesn’t work as a funk song. However, the showmanship is again top notch. 6/10
Howard Jones lives in the country, and he’s a Buddhist. Wow, that was deep.
“White Flag” – Howard goes acoustic (well, except for the keyboard subbing for strings – this show can’t afford the real thing, you know) for this one. And the song pretty much is what it is – not much you can do with it, really. Amusing bit as they find the one woman in the audience who knows the lyrics and is singing along. 7/10
Irene Cara now fronts a band called Hot Caramel in Tampa, FL.
“I’m Outta Love” – And here’s Hot Caramel singing the song. Um, wasn’t it only supposed to be Irene singing? The song itself was pretty good, and the group overall isn’t bad – although all female R&B groups are a dime a dozen nowadays – but Irene isn’t exactly lead vocals here, so if there were rules for this (and over the past two weeks we’ve seen that there pretty much aren’t) she should be DQ’ed. 0/10. Yes, I’m actually more pissed off at this than I am at Vanilla Ice – he wasn’t taking half a song off.
It’s time to vote, and if I were voting, Sophie would win. I get the feeling that Cameo will take it though. I’ve no problem with that. Well, except for the bright red jock. That’s gonna haunt me for a while.
Ad Break – Well, apparently we’re getting a new episode next week. I hope they get some more quality Canadian fromage on.
We’re back, and the winner is…
Irene Cara!! What a fricking crock of shit that is. She sang her own song worse than Julia DeMateo on American Idol did. Anyways, her charity is Women In The Arts.
Irene performs once again. And we’re out. According to the NBC website we’re getting the Baha Men, Greg Kihn (who?), Thelma Houston and Glass Tiger (wow, ask and you shall receive), so I guess I’ll see you next week!!
