Leading Off
“It takes so little to make a man happy, and so MUCH to make a woman happy”.
That right there, is the most profound thing I have ever, or will ever say. Next week, I expound upon what it means to have reached the peak of my knowledge at such a young age.
This guy has absolutely nothing on me.
Viewer Mail! Viewer Mail!
“I find it an interesting misprint/oversight/general dumbness that you failed to mention MJ in your paragraph below (where I named who I felt were the best NBA players of the modern era).”- Dooku
Dooku-
Yes, you got me. Of course, no listing of the greatest NBA players of all time would be complete without Michael Jackson. I mean Michael Jordan.
Excerpt from Patrick Nguyen’s column this week, in regards to said list:
“I think it’s more like this:
1) Michael Jordan
2) Wilt Chamberlain
3) Magic Johnson
4) Larry Bird
5) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
6) Hakeem Olajuwon
Duncan’s good, but Manu’s doing way better than him right now.”
My rebuttal-
My list (which in included, Larry, Magic, MJ, Hakeem, Shaq, and Tim Duncan) was meant to survey what I feel is the modern era in the NBA. Wilt, in my world, does not fall into that category. Yes, he was scoring 50 points a night, but he was doing it with Jews and Italians who were a foot shorter than he was guarding him. It’s like me playing against my 8 and 5 year old cousins with an 8 ½ foot basket. I’m just not that impressed with it. Thus, I find it impossible to make a fair comparison between The Big Dipper and those who began their career in the 70s or later.
As for Kareem, to that I say yeah, maybe. He put up insane numbers in Milwaukee and won championships in LA. But I think Kareem’s LA numbers are comparable to Duncan’s career numbers, and, in my opinion, Duncan has been doing it against teams that actually play defense. You can give me all the numbers you want from the 70s and 80s, but the fact is nobody played defense in the NBA until the Pistons won championships in 88 and 89. Also, Kareem won his titles with Magic Johnson as his supporting player. Duncan has Manu Ginobili, who ain’t Magic Johnson. I stand by my implied assertion that Duncan is better than Kareem. I brace myself for backlash.
But enough about the NBA. We can’t be wasting time talking about a league that is more concerned about having training camps in Spain then actually, you know, having a season next year, which it looks more and more like they won’t. Especially not when we are in the presence of the greatness that is TRUMP!
Yes, my friends, he is back, for real this time. And he’s got three very nervous and very ineffective MLB managers with him for a boardroom session that will be wilder than Michael Jackson’s victory party at Chuck E. Cheese.
But first, we are oh so close to wrapping up our detailed review of the 2005 NFL Draft. Next week, the real fun starts, as we will begin rounding up the news and happenings around the league as the NFL prepares to head to training camps. This week though, feast your brains as we close out our comprehensive and exhaustive review, and check out what the Chargers, Broncos, Chiefs, and Raiders did on draft day.
NFL GENUINE DRAUGHT- AFC WEST
San Diego Chargers
Day 1
1st round, 12th pick- Shawne Merriman, OLB, Maryland
The Chargers had a pressing need to improve their pass rush. To that end, they drafted a man who has the potential to be one of the best pass rushers in the league in Merriman. Merriman is compact at 6-2, 274, and accelerates very quickly to beat the man assigned to block him to the outside. He is no slouch against the run either, often chasing plays down all over the field. He is an underclassman though, and probably could have been a top 5 pick had he spent another year honing his craft at Maryland. He hasn’t endeared himself to his new teammates in his brief time as a Charger. He’s not signed yet and he has held himself out of on-field workouts due to his agent’s concern that he will injure himself before he has signed. The Chargers also keep waffling on whether he will play linebacker or end. He has a world of ability, but he’s not getting his pro career off on the right foot.
1st round, 28th pick- Luis Castillo, DT, Northwestern
Castillo was one of the more controversial players in this year’s draft. He tested positive for andro at the February combine. He claims he used the NFL-banned substance to recover from an injury. The failed drug test may actually have helped him, as it seemed to raise his profile prior to the draft. Like Merriman, he also is an underclassman. He plays with a lot of quickness and athleticism, and plays with a lot of intensity. He is seen as a good character guy despite the andro controversy. He’s been referred to as a “model citizen” who “just followed some bad advice”.
2nd round, 61st pick- Vincent Jackson, WR, Northern Colorado
Jackson fits the mold of another Charger pass catcher, Antonio Gates. They both share a background as basketball players, and both have massive frames. Jackson is 6-5, 238, and runs a 4.46 40. He is, in short, a fearsome athlete. The obvious question with him is whether or not he can translate his ability into performance at the pro level. He wasn’t exactly facing top level competition at Northern Colorado, where he had 3 games with 200+ receiving yards last season. Expect to see him also be given a chance as a kick returner. He has the potential to be a very exciting player.
And the rest…
RB Darren Sproles (4th round, Kansas St.) is small at 5-6, 187, but brings a lot of quickness and will be a pesky change of pace for opposing defenses. He is also an excellent receiver out of the backfield. OT Wesley Britt (5th round, Alabama) broke his leg at the Senior Bowl, and also broke his leg in 2003. He’s huge at 6-8, but his time missed due to injury means he’s not polished. G Wes Sims (6th round, Oklahoma) is smart and steady, although unremarkable athletically. He was a tackle as a Sooner but will move inside in the pros. C Scott Mruzcowski (7th round, Bowling Green) is in that same mold. His strength lies in his steady play. He and Sims are likely competing for the same roster spot.
Denver Broncos
Day 1
2nd round, 56th pick- Darrent Williams, CB, Oklahoma St.
The Broncos traded their first round pick to the Redskins. They then used their top pick to shore up a secondary that has been shredded two years in a row in the playoffs by Peyton Manning and the Colts. A lot of people would call this pick a reach. Williams is small at 5-8, 176, and because of his size it was a bit of a surprise that he was picked on Day 1. He is an exciting player who brings toughness and attitude. He had 6 interceptions in 2003, but missed much of 2004 with a broken arm. He was suspended for his team’s trip to the Alamo Bowl for an unspecified “violation of team rules”, so there is a character question. His selection was a bit of a curious one.
3rd round, 76th pick- Karl Paymah, CB, Washington St.
Mike Shanahan continued to attempt to bolster his secondary by drafting Paymah with the pick obtained from the Redskins. Paymah is big and strong and is most effective when he can jam opposing receivers at the line of scrimmage. His physical style of play also makes him an asset against the run. He was also a standout special teams performer in college. His game is pretty much exactly the opposite of Darrent Williams’, so I guess the Broncos are kind of hedging their bets here.
3rd round, 97th pick- Dominique Foxworth, CB, Maryland
Hey, have another cornerback. Foxworth isn’t a physical corner like Paymah is, but he is very good in coverage and can effectively stay with his man. He doesn’t look like he is a guy that makes plays though. He started every game for the Terps last year and did not have a single interception. So again, his style of play is different than the other two corners they drafted. You have Williams who is exciting and a gambler, Paymah who is big and physical, and Foxworth who is smooth and invisible. It’s almost like Shanahan is putting together a boy band of cornerbacks or something.
3rd round, 101st pick- Maurice Clarett, RB, Ohio St.
And then there is the most well-publicized 3rd round pick in recent memory, Maurice Clarett. Regardless of what Clarett can or can’t do, or what his 40 time was, or how big his gut looked when running that 40, the thing is WHY do you draft a running back if you are the Broncos? The Broncos have a long history of being able to put just about anybody at running back and turn them into a star. We’re talking guys like Mike Anderson, Olandis Gary, Rueben Droughns, Quentin Griffin running for 170 yards in a game. Guys that have no business running like that do it on a regular basis for the Broncos because they just run block so well. So why do you use a 3rd round pick on a guy whose greatest asset is his “potential”? The Broncos don’t need a running back with potential. They need somebody who will be a good team player, follow the scheme, and keep his mouth shut. Clarett is not that guy. His reputation is that of being a douchebag of epic proportions.
And the rest…
The Broncos had no 4th or 5th round picks. G Chris Myers (6th round, Miami FL) is a smart and consistent lineman who could thrive in the Broncos’ offense. K Paul Ernster (7th round, Northern Arizona) rounds out a bizarre draft for Denver.
Kansas City Chiefs
Day 1
1st round, 15th pick- Derrick Johnson, OLB, Texas
The Chiefs need help everywhere on defense, and moved to address that extremely sub-par unit in the first round. Johnson’s style of play is very similar to Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher’s. He relies heavily on his outstanding speed and athleticsm to make plays all over the field. He instantly is the most talented player on the Chiefs’ defense. The thing that kept him from going higher in the draft was that a lot of teams were concerned about his ability to shed blocks and make tackles. Much like Urlacher, he has a tendency to get taken out of the play if opposing linemen make it through to the second level and put a body on him. Still, he has the ability to excel against the run or the pass, and perhaps be one of the best linebackers in the NFL very soon.
3rd round, 99th pick- Dustin Colquitt, P, Tennessee
Sometimes the best way to help a weak defense is to help give them more advantageous field position to work with. To that end, the Chiefs selected a punter in the third round. While it is always questionable to take a punter anywhere in the draft let alone on day 1, Colquitt is a good one. Last year he placed 17 of his 26 punts inside the opponents 20 yard line, and has averaged over 40 yards per punt 3 seasons in a row. He should be the Chiefs punter for the next 10-15 years if all goes according to plan.
And the rest…
The Chiefs had only 2 day 1 selections, but were loaded with day 2 selections. WR Craphonso Thorpe (4th round, Florida St.) seems to be an unlucky guy. First of all, his mom named him Craphonso, second of all, he was well on his way to being a superstar at Florida St. before breaking his leg in 2003 after scoring 11 touchdowns that season for the Seminoles. He’s tall at 6-1, and was also a track star at FSU. ILB James Grigsby (5th round, Illinois St.) is a sturdy middle linebacker at 249 pounds, and plays hard. He dominated at the I-AA level. CB Alphonso Hodge (5th round, Miami OH) has excellent speed and also had 5 sacks from the corner position last year (albeit no interceptions). OT Will Svitek (6th round, Stanford) played both ways briefly in college, in addition to being on the track team. DE Khari Long (6th round, Baylor) has the speed to be a pass rushing specialist, but gets knocked off the line very easily against the run. He’s a project. QB James Kilian (7th round, Tulsa) has raw talent, a strong arm, and can run. OT Jeremy Parquet (7th round, So. Miss) has good size and could stick if he strengthens his body.
Oakland Raiders
Day 1
1st round, 23rd pick- Fabian Washington, CB, Nebraska
Crazy Al Davis has a history of drafting corners in the first round, so this is not too big of a surprise. Washington ran a 4.29 40, which is just insane, so his speed his a definite plus. That said, he does have a reputation for being soft, which hurt his draft standing. He has a hard time tackling, and bigger receivers push him around at the line of scrimmage. The Raiders see Washington as a replacement for Charles Woodson, who has been engaged in a game of knifey-spooney with Raiders management over his contract for months now, and may be traded or maybe not, depending on what you read.
2nd round, 38th pick- Stanford Routt, CB, Houston
The Raiders went the same “Routt” in the second round as they did the first, selecting another athletically gifted corner. Routt has great size for a DB at 6-1, 190, and is listed as running a 4.27 40. He is loaded with ability. He still learning his position, as he was a track runner who decided to play football as well. Like Fabian Washington, he’s kind of unenthusiastic when it comes to run support. Still, you would be hard-pressed to find a pair of NFL cornerbacks with as much raw ability as Washington and Routt have.
3rd round, 69th pick- Andrew Walter, QB, Arizona St.
With their third selection, the Raiders got what they hope will be their long-term answer at QB in Walter. He is the prototype QB for the Raiders’ trademark vertical passing game. He stands a towering 6-6 and has the arm to make a throw anywhere on the field. He broke pretty much all of Jake Plummer’s career passing records at Arizona State. The fact that the Sun Devils did not enjoy big time success with him as the quarterback may have been the only thing that caused him to slide to the third round. Oakland is a good fit for him.
3rd round, 78th pick- Kirk Morrison, ILB, San Diego St.
Morrison was two time defensive player of the year in the Mountain West Conference and is a two time All-American. He’s a physical player and is a very good tackler. The concerns with him are that he lacks standout speed, and sometimes struggles to fight his way through blocks. The Raiders may consider moving him to an outside linebacker spot. He’s got limitations, but he is a good football player, and that should allow him to find a way to contribute.
And the rest…
DT Antajj Hawthorne (6th round, Wisconsin) was projected as a Day 1 pick. That he slipped all the way to the sixth round is really curious. He was asked to take up space and blockers with the Badgers last year, which isn’t glamorous and may have contributed to him slipping. DE Ryan Riddle (6th round, Cal)has good quickness and pursues the ball wherever it goes, making up for his perceived lack of size. OT Pete McMahon (6th round, Iowa) is big at 6-7 and is a sound technician, as Iowa linemen usually are.
MLB APPRENTICE- RETURN OF THE DONALD
Since it’s been a few weeks, let’s bring everybody up to speed as to who the Donald has FIRED already.
Tony Pena (not pictured, left the show)
Eric Wedge
Ken Macha
Dave Miley
This week, Trump revisits with some old friends, all of whom have been in the boardroom before.
Clint Hurdle
Phil Garner
Lou Piniella
“So let me see if I have this right Clint, your best player, your rookie of the year candidate, the lone bright spot on your team, tripped down his stairs and broke his collarbone, carrying groceries, at 3 in the morning?”
“You are correct sir!”
“Pathetic. And Phil, you did a great job last year. But let’s face it, you have three very very good starting pitchers, and your team is still not competing.”
“We’re a second half team!”
“That sounds like an excuse, alright? I don’t like excuses. Ok, Lou, let me ask you this; if your team is so short on talent, why are they 18-15 at home, but only 5-28 on the road? Obviously they are good enough to win somewhere, so why are they not ready to play when they go on the road?”
“You son of a !$#!%@%^@, my #*#(&!ing owner lied to me. He told me he would raise his !$%Q#$@$ing payroll and he hasn’t done a #&@*#ing #!@#damn thing except kick people out of his $@$%@#$ing bathroom and yell at @#$!%ing cops when they pull him over.”
“I’m sorry Lou, that may fly with ESPN, and the national media, but not with me. Lou, you’re fired.”
“@$#%@#$% you”
“HE GONE!”
“Whew”
“I think I pooped my pants.”
“Wait a minute, I’m not done yet. I’ve been gone a few weeks, and I’ve got a hankerin for some spankerin. Phil and Clint, you’ve both been in here before, and I don’t see any improvement. In fact, I see things getting worse for your teams.”
“Eek.”
“Achi Machi.”
“Phil, Clint, you also, are FIRED”.
“HE GONE!”
“HE GONE!..YYYYYYESSSS!”
Wow, the Donald is most definitely BACK! Come back next week, when we find out what makes Donald’s assistant Hawk say:
“I luuv email..”
PIMPS UP HOS DOWN
Well that’s another column in the books. Now that you have been subjected to this, you may as well check out these guys too:
David Goldberg throws me some props. Dave, I’m just happy to be here.
Steve Price goes all Martin Luther on us, nailing something to NASCAR’s door.
Eugene Tierney is like, THE guy for baseball.
Next week, we’ve got NFL News, Donald, and God only knows what else. Till then take care!
