Now that my favorite shows Survivor, The Apprentice, and The Amazing Race have concluded, pickings are just a little slim in the reality TV department. And while a few of summer’s new reality offerings are already underway (e.g., The Cut, Hit Me Baby One More Time) and others are coming up (Rock Star, I Want To Be A Hilton, etc.), I currently only have eyes for one. Laugh if you will (I’ve already laughed at myself), but I am hooked on Beauty and the Geek.
Maybe I like this show because my expectations for it were incredibly low. The premise, eerily similar to that of Average Joe, is degrading to everyone involved. Seven brainiac guys, with credentials such as “V.P. of the Dukes of Hazzard Fan Club” and “Has Never Been on a Date”, are teamed up with seven hot women, many of whom are models, dancers, and sorority girls. The WB network has dubbed the show as producer “Ashton Kutcher’s ultimate social experiment,” in which the geeks and beauties team up to learn a thing or two about each other and themselves. I have to admit that I was gravely disappointed by Mr. Kutcher’s absence on the show, as I fully expected him to host his amazing experiment. Then again, he’s already busy punking people and snuffing out rumors that he got Demi pregnant, so I should probably cut him a little slack.
Of course, no reality show is complete without competitions, although this show takes a different approach and forces everyone to battle individually rather than as part of a team. Every week, the boys must do something they’d normally find incredibly difficult, such as dance in public, give a massage, or buy outfits for their partners. The girls must duke it out in cerebral contests, which test their knowledge of topics like astronomy, auto maintenance, and geography. The winner of each challenge simultaneously gives his or her team immunity and gets a chance to send another couple to the dreaded elimination room, where contestants are asked yet more questions about a subject they should supposedly know nothing about. The prize? $250,000 for the winning duo to share.
The producers have emphasized that Beauty and the Geek is not a dating show, although that certainly hasn’t stopped some of the contestants from trying to make it into one. There has already been one hook-up between Erika, the life-size Barbie model, and Brad, a member of Mensa. Since Brad and Erika were on different teams, I couldn’t help but feel that they were cheating on their partners, Krystal and Joe. It doesn’t really matter now, since they have both been eliminated, but at the time I was very distraught. I felt a smug sense of vindication during the last episode, when Brad was repeatedly shown sporting a giant, Spinal Tap-esque cold sore on his lip. He and Barbie shared something that may last them both a lifetime. Aw.
Another potential make-out session appears to be on the horizon between Chuck, the cute medical student, and Scarlet, a beer spokesmodel (how can I get that job?). As the winner of the massage challenge, Chuck gained enough confidence to get a few knots out of Scarlet’s finely muscled back and even worked up the courage to tell her that she was the most beautiful woman in the house. And since Chuck’s partner Caitilin and Scarlet’s comrade Shawn kicked ass on their respective challenges, both were spared the humiliation and doom of the elimination room for another week. I’m anxious to see these two play a little tonsil hockey.
Which brings me to the subject of Richard, a recent Brandeis graduate and New Jersey native who is by far the most entertaining person in the house. His Erkel-style pants and octopus body language are so over-the-top, it’s hard to believe that he hasn’t been working with an acting coach and a costume designer. During his interviews, Richard was labeled as the participant who “Has Never Kissed a Girl,” a credential (or lack, thereof) that seemed rather cruel to advertise on national television. Then again, that all changed this week when he gave Krystal, the busty NBA dancer, a good-bye kiss on the lips before she departed from the elimination room. And after leaving the house, Krystal admitted that she admired Richard’s boldness and didn’t even seem grossed out by it. Chalk one up for the kid from Jersey!
Other than Richard’s advancement to first base, Beauty and the Geek has offered up a few other surprises. I didn’t expect everyone to be so nice to each other. Given my own assumptions about geeky guys and foxy ladies (especially those placed in a mansion with cameras), I would have expected more bitterness from the former group and more bitchiness from the latter. Instead, most of the contenders are genuinely interested in improving themselves and seeing each other as people rather than types. When not having tearful revelations of how shallow or socially inept they’ve always been, the men and women appear to be having a great time.
The editors could definitely do a better job of making the challenges more suspenseful. By interspersing competition footage with interview commentary, the outcomes of several of the challenges have been apparent early on. For example, when Caitilin noted during the car maintenance contest that she started out dead last and didn’t think she had a prayer of winning, it was obvious that she would triumph and she did. And during the fashion show, Shawn spoke of his lack of confidence when he picked out clothes for his girl Scarlet. Then, lo and behold, he was crowned the winner. Ashton, either get “I sucked” narration from everyone or ditch the peanut gallery editing altogether. You’ll never fool a reality TV junkie like me.
Of course, the fact that I got sucked into this show in the first place may mean that I’ve already been fooled (or even punk’d), but I don’t care. It’s too much fun to ignore.
