Wildsiderz #0 Review

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Reviewer: Jesse Baker
Story Title: NA

Written by: J. Scott Campbell and Andy Hartnell
Penciled by: J. Scott Campbell
Inked by: Avalon Studios
Colored by: Edgar Delgado
Lettered by: Comicraft
Editor: Scott Dunbier
Publisher: Wildstorm Comics/DC Comics

This is a crap book. Worse, it’s a bad commercial for a bad would-be toyline that I’m sure will be out in a year or two, once J. Scott Campbell sells the toy rights for the series. And really, given how low of a profile this book has (hell I didn’t even know what it was about when I ended up getting assigned it to review let alone that J. Scott Campbell was involved) it’s going to be a miracle to see if he actually DOES sell the merchandising rights to anyone.

But hey, at least it’s not a Joe Madureira book that I’m reviewing. Though I don’t know if Joe “Ripping off the Japanese like bandits” Madureira would stoop to this low of a book, which features blatant ripping off of famous people for character designs like I have seen in this book.

So that’s said, I’m going to have a little fun with Campbell’s blatant ripping off of famous people with my description of the content of this book:

Review
Basically, we’ve got a wheelchair-bound Halle Berry and Seth Green forming a new super-hero team whose gimmick is that they can create see-through, hard-light holograms of animal parts that give them super-powers. Halle uses this technology to create snap-on leg armor to let her walk while Seth Green creates dragonfly wings so he can fly.

Meanwhile we get a scene of Seth Green talking to a black haired cheerleader who we’ll be calling Heather Lindell, who plays the insanely evil, yet smart, Jan Spears on “Days of Our Lives”. We then cut to two other people, one male and one female, who’ve used the snap-on armor program to create a fake replica of Paris, France. The girl looks like Elisha Cuthbert with freckles while the guy looks like a clean-shaved David Rees Snell (the actor who plays Detective Ronnie Gardocki on “The Shield”) so that’s what we’ll call them in this review. Meanwhile, we cut to the book’s villains: Gene Simmons, his assistant Brigitte Nielson, and their army of roomba robots inside holograms of a group of hard-light hologram monsters.

Cut to Seth Green, Heather Lindell, David Rees Snell, Elisha Cuthbert, the re-animated corpse of Chris Farley (who doesn’t get an introduction sequence since it would require them explaining how they brought him back to life) snapping on their hard-light hologram animal armor (each being a different color) and fighting the Roomba monsters. For the record, the animal armor/character/color match-up is:

Seth Green- Dragonfly- green
Re-Animated Corpse of Chris Farley- Gorilla- purple
Heather Lindell- Cat- red
David Rees Snell- Raptor- orange
Elisha Cuthbert- Eagle- blue

We also get bios of the characters as we find out that Gene Simmons used the money he made off of KISS to finance his evil empire and that the re-animated corpse of Chris Farley can only say “I’m Matt Foley and I live in a van by the river!”.