Hi kids. Miss me? I know you did, but relax, contrary to popular believe, I am not going anywhere. So sit back, grab a cold….whatever, and let’s watch some trailers.
Nuevo
Basically, you’ll get a direct link to the trailer, the main stars involved in the film, the ‘Plot According to Yahoo’ (Or IMDB if it’s an Apple Trailer), the length of the trailer and the *estimated* release date. You’ll ALSO get the following: The Spoilerish ranking – what this basically gauges is how much of the movie the trailer gives away, on a 1-10 scale; My Analysis of the trailer, sometimes being pretty straight and narrow, sometimes being witty and sarcastic, sometimes both; finally, you’ll get an Overall Rating, which is ‘calculated’ based on the length of the trailer, it’s ‘spoilerish-ness’ and, well, how I feel about it. It IS my column, after all, but I promise the ratings will be fair and make sense.
Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Greg Kinnear, Marcia Gay Harden, Timmy Deters, Sammi Kane Kraft
The plot according to Yahoo: Morris Buttermaker, a former pro baseball player, was ejected from the game for attacking an umpire and now works as an exterminator. More interested in boozing and broads than baseball, Buttermaker is lured back into the game by Liz Whitewood, an attorney whose class action suit has forced the Little League to accept all players, regardless of their abilities. As the new coach of the Bears, the most losing team in Little League history, Buttermaker has his work cut out for him. Initially, he’s only in it for the paycheck, but he and his inept players have a transformative effect on one another that is wholly unexpected, and completely remarkable.
Length: 2:28
Spoilerish: 8
Release Date: July 22nd, 2005
Analysis: Ever see Bad Santa? Well, take Billy Bob out of that, put him on a little league field, and tell him to go to town. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, and the dynamic here looks like it’ll be hillarious. Thorton looks perfect in his degenerate coach role, and this second trailer for the film is really funny. My only complaint is the usual one, and that is spoilers. A lot of jokes, and a decent amount of plot are given away, but hey, if you can stand that, then check this out and be ready to laugh out loud. Well, at least chuckle.
Overall Rating: 7
Starring: Matt Damon, Heath Ledger, Monica Bellucci, Jonathan Pryce, Lena Headey
The plot according to Yahoo: Brothers Jake and Will Grimm, renowned collectors of folklore, have made a career out of traveling from village to village pretending to rid them of “enchanted” creatures. Their bluff is called, however, when they are forced by Napoleon’s French government to investigate a haunted forest where girls have been disappearing mysteriously. What they discover leads to a series of adventures involving an actual evil (and immortal) sorceress that mirrors that of mythology and the fables that the Brothers Grimm would eventually become famous for.
Length: 2:31
Spoilerish: 5.5
Release: August 26th, 2005
Analysis: Well, this looks fun. It’s got a light-hearted yet magical feel to it. It has a solid cast of characters (Regardless of what anyone says about Damon or Ledger). It has Monica Bellucci as the villain (drool). It works. The trailer is parts humor, parts magic, parts….erm, lots of other stuff too. Basically, it’s good times all around, and I hadn’t heard much about this film until now. I’d definitely consider it based on this trailer alone.
Overall Rating: 7.5
Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz, Danny Huston, Bill Nighy, Hubert Koundé
The Plot: Based on the best-selling John le Carré novel and from the Academy
Award-nominated director of “City of God.” In a remote area of Northern Kenya, activist Tessa Quayle (Rachel Weisz) is found brutally murdered. Tessa’s companion, a doctor, appears to have fled the scene, and the evidence points to a crime of passion. Members of the British High Commission in Nairobi assume that Tessa’s widower, their mild-mannered
and unambitious colleague Justin Quayle (Ralph Fiennes), will leave the matter to them. They could not be more wrong. Haunted by remorse and jarred by rumors of his late wife’s infidelities, Quayle surprises everyone by embarking on a personal odyssey that will take him across three continents. Using his privileged access to diplomatic secrets, he will risk his own life, stopping at nothing to uncover and expose the truth – a conspiracy more far-reaching and deadly than Quayle could ever have imagined.
Length: Approx. 2:35
Spoilerish: 4.5
Release: August 26th, 2005
Analysis: I had this trailer sent to me, actually, and it’s a nice little surprise. Fine cast and excellent direction could make this a great film that no one sees (I’m not sure if it’ll be limited distribution or not). The plot isn’t anything too new, but it’s an interesting direction to take. The nasty corporation behind everything (seemingly) is different enough to be fresh on the screen, and again, excellent performances will go a long way to make sure of that. Interesting stuff definitely worth a glance.
Overall Rating: 7
Starring: Tom Cruise, Miranda Otto, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins
The plot according to Yahoo: A contemporary retelling of H.G. Wells’s seminal classic, the sci-fi adventure thriller reveals the extraordinary battle for the future of humankind through the eyes of one American family fighting to survive it.
Length: 1:30
Spoilerish: 4.5
Release: June 29th, 2005
Analysis: The hype for this film cannot get any higher than it is right now. Three trailers and now an internet exclusive round out things for War. Rumors and speculation abound, and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes won’t shut the hell up (about themselves, not their films). This trailer is almost perfect. It shows Cruise and his kids, and how things go bad, and quick. I can’t say much else, but check it out if you need another fix. This internet exclusive is pretty awesome.
Overall Rating: 8
Trailers for Films Opening This Very Weekend! (Weekend of May 12th, 2005)
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine, Steve Carell
The plot according to Yahoo: Hot-shot actor Jack Wyatt, set to star as Darrin in a film version of the ’60s TV series “Bewitched,” finds his ideal Samantha in unknown actress Isabel, who just happens to be a witch in real life.
Length: 2:30
Spoilerish: 7
Analysis: Being a fan of the original Bewitched from back in the day, I know myself and others were pretty skeptical when they announced this film and its cast. Don’t get me wrong, I love Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman (drool), but it just didn’t seem right from a casting standpoint, at least Ferrell anyway. Then the trailers started showing up, and surprise, this film isn’t a literal remake of the show. The plot consists of people trying to make the show again, and a real life witch, and…yeah. Honestly, I was preplexed they released three trailers (this being the third), but I can see why. They really are trying to get it out there what this is all about and this trailer shows the love/real life aspect, and I’m sold. This trailer, for one reason or another, charmed the hell out of me. Okay, that being said, it’s pretty damn spoilerish, and Will Ferrell is still acting like an idiot, but if you don’t mind that, watch it. It’ll make you smile and laugh out loud, among other things.
Overall Rating: 6
Starring: Simon Baker, Asia Argento, Dennis Hopper, John Leguizamo, Robert Joy
The plot according to Yahoo: In a modern-day world where the walking dead roam an uninhabited wasteland, the living try to lead “normal” lives behind the walls of a fortified city. A new society has been built by a handful of enterprising, ruthless opportunists, who live in the towers of a skyscraper, high above the hard-scrabble existence on the streets below. But outside the city walls, an army of the dead is evolving. Inside, anarchy is on the rise. With the very survival of the city at stake, a group of hardened mercenaries is called into action to protect the living from an army of the dead.
Length: 1:49
Spoilerish: 5
Analysis: Romero returns to the work he basically created, and I am in heaven. Forget about the Dawn remake and its running zombies. Forget about 28 Days Later and those “zombies.” This, ladies and gentlemen, is where it’s at, and man does it look great. The trailer is absolutely fantastic, from the opening montage of Romero’s work until the final exhilirating scene. It’s a very fast moving trailer, with a lot of scenes and characters quickly intercut with footage of zombies and zombie interactions. It’s the kind of trailer to get someone to sit up in their seat and pay attention to. If the montage at the beginning doesn’t do it, and you aren’t sold on seeing this, then you’ll never be a zombie film fan. Awesome-ness all around.
Overall Rating: 8.5
The Number One Movie in America!
Every week, I’ll take the number one movie in America and put its trailer here, just in case anyone hasn’t seen it yet (or you just loves the trailer).
Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman
The plot according to Yahoo : Christopher Nolan’s film explores the origins of the Batman legend and the Dark Knight’s emergence as a force for good in Gotham. In the wake of his parents’ murder, disillusioned industrial heir Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) travels the world seeking the means to fight injustice and turn fear against those who prey on the fearful. He treturns to Gotham and unveils his alter-ego: Batman, a masked crusader who uses his strength, intellect and an array of high tech deceptions to fight the sinister forces that threaten the city.
Length: 2:24
Spoilerish: 3
Analysis: Stop it right now, and go see this movie. I don’ care if you’ve seen it twice already. See it again. It’s that good. No, it’s better. Period.
Overall Rating: 9
Wrapping it Up
So that is that. Another light week, but what can you do. Summer is practically here, and the bigger movies are right around the corner. Bring em on.
Until next time…..
