You knew it was coming, didn’t you?
Making Sure You Get Your Weekly Fix of Pure Racing Crap Since… January!
Welcome to the column that just keeps churning out the good stuff. As always, I’m your host with the most, back for another exciting trip into La La Land, where Darrell Waltrip is the mayor and grease monkeys play in the Daytona infield. That’s not an inside joke or anything, so don’t riddle your brain trying to figure out what it means. We’ve got way too much garbage to tackle today than is normally healthy, so if you’ve had your fix of garbage already this week, you might want to skip over some of the paragraphs, as nine out of four doctors now agree that reading too much garbage on the internet can lead to hypertension in middle aged readers who don’t follow a healthy diet. Otherwise, if you can handle the truth, then let’s kick it like a College Toga Party.
Also, I wanted to point out an inexcusable goof that I made in the Formula 1 Special this past Tuesday, as I incorrectly noted that Kimi Raikkonen had won at Nürburgring, when in fact it was Fernando Alonso that had won the event when Raikkonen saw – you guessed it – his Michelin tire give out in the final laps of the race, allowing Alonso to win in stunning fashion. Just wanted to clear that up, and thanks to Liam for pointing out the snafu. Now then, onwards and upwards, Tonto!
[NBA News] – The Finals
The San Antonio Spurs, the 2003 NBA Champions, dealt the final blow to a shocked Detroit Pistons team Thursday night, and erased any and all hope of a Pistons’ repeat as NBA’s best. The Spurs locked up their second title in three years by closing out Detroit, 81-74 Thursday in San Antonio. For Gregg Popovich, it was the crowning achievement of a season that would test his team for 106 games, over 400 quarters, several injury scares from his dominant big man, and a head-to-head showdown against arguably his best friend, Larry Brown. For the Spurs’ Tim Duncan, it was the rebound game he needed following a week’s worth of criticism by journalists who used the term “timid” to describe his game. The native of the Virgin Islands came up big in Game 7 with 25 points off 10 of 27 shooting to complement his 11 rebounds. He was also 5 of 6 from the line. Duncan would earn his third Finals MVP Award for his efforts.
For Detroit, it was the case of too little, too late. Although a solid victory in Game 6 had given them some much-needed momentum heading into the winner-takes-all showdown, Manu Ginobili continuously penetrated the lane, peppering Detroit with 23 points, while Robert Horry continued to come up big with clutch threes. The Detroit defense, though firm through the first half of regulation, appeared baffled by the constant pressure San Antonio forced inside the perimeter. Detroit center Ben Wallace started strong out of the gates for the fourth consecutive game, but only managed 12 points, and completely melted away defensively in the fourth quarter. Richard Hamilton led the team with 15 points in 46 minutes played.
So… final thoughts?
Well, for starters, I was a lot less upset at the outcome than I thought I’d be. I’ve been fascinated with the Pistons ever since they steamrolled the pansy Lakers last year in five games, and so I was already leaning towards Detroit anyways. But make no mistake; I’ve been a rabid Phoenix Suns fan ever since Majerle, Barkley, and KJ tore it up in the early ’90s. And anyone that knows me well knows of my all-time favorite player, Steve Nash (for reasons I can’t readily identify). So, when San Antonio made them their personal bitches, I was less than thrilled with Manu “Nash Wannabe” Ginobili and Robert Horry, and made it a point to root against them at every turn. Well, thankfully, with the Finals over, I can reassert my respect and fandom for Tim Duncan, Manu, Tony Parker and the rest of the Spurs. They may not reach the level of Phoenix in my eyes, but damned if they’re not close. Besides, any team whose point guard gets to sleep with Eva Longoria on a nightly basis is an inspiration to me!
On the negative side, though, this year’s Finals marked the end of an era, if I can dip into a little sentimentalism for a moment. With the retirement now of Reggie Miller, basketball’s “golden age” has finally come to an end. It started with Magic and Larry, and continued with Isaiah and the Bad Boys of Piston, Malone & Stockton, Barkley, Mark Price (!), Ewing, Kemp, Worthy, Drexler, McHale, Pippen, and a man by the name of Michael Jordan. Living in Charlotte, I have fond memories of watching Larry Johnson, Alonso Mourning, and Mugsy Bogues make the Queen City’s Hornets feel like something special.
That’s gone now.
In its place comes a more sound, yet less exciting style of basketball as showcased in this years Finals. Staggering defense mixed in with a nail biter and a slew of routs. We’ve come a long way from those OT thrillers in the Boston Gardens pitting the Lakers and the Celtics, no? The last heir apparent to the Magic/Bird-Jordan Era, Shaquille O’ Neal not withstanding, is sitting in Orlando right now: Grant Hill. With injuries slowing him tremendously, it wont be until after he retires that we know the true scope of Grant Hill’s legacy. One thing is for sure though: the Age of LeBron, Kobe, Garnett, Duncan, and Wade has arrived. How memorable their time will be has yet to be determined. Will these new superstars reach the levels of Bird, Magic, and Jordan? I doubt it. But it’ll be fun to watch them try.
Credit: ESPN.com and MSN.com for Statistical Information.
[MLB News] – The 2005 MLB Season to Date
Well, since we’re on the subject of sappy garbage, let’s turn our attention to my other love affair, baseball. Laugh if you want, but the 2005 MLB Season is turning out to be one of the more… shocking seasons in recent memory. Call it hyperbole if you wish, but being a lifelong baseball fan with MLB Extra Innings and a tremendous local newspaper that covers baseball very well, I think I’m somewhat justified in making the statement. For starters, why don’t we take a good look at what no one was expecting…
01. Chicago White Sox, Division Leaders
02. Baltimore Orioles, Division Leaders
03. Brian Roberts, Legit. MVP Candidate
04. Sosa Traded from Chicago
05. 4/5ths of Atlanta’s rotation on DL
06. Jon Garland, 12-Game Winner Before the Break?
07. Who the Hell is Jon Garland?
08. Bonds Linked to BALCO Investigation, Out for Half of 2005 At Least
09. Steroid Use Rampant in Minors, Several Major Leaguers Busted Under New Policy
10. With a payroll over $200 Million, the 4th Place Yankees are two games over .500!
11. Carlos Lee… Triple Crown Candidate?
The list goes on and on. I would have made mention of Tampa Bay winning 3 of 4 against the Yankees at Yankee Stadium, where they never win. You know, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays that almost destroyed the Yankees in a four game sweep, but those bastard pinstripe maniacs had to rally in the third game of the series to eek a win out. Nevertheless, as a (Red) Sox fan who watches his red-hot team sit only a half game behind the cooling Orioles … scratch that, 1.5 games ahead! WHOO! Anyways, it does my heart good to see the Yankees, who Steinbrenner paid over $200 Million for, struggle to stay above .500 on the year. Their little win spurts be damned, I cannot begin to imagine what kind of junk is going to go down in the Bronx if the Yankees fail to make the playoffs. Then again, I’d die from suffocation when I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to breathe when that happens, so it’s not like I’d be around to talk about it after the fact.
Formula l News: Countdown to Circuit de Nevers Magny Cours
With the recent emphasis on the Formula 1 incident at Indianapolis, and with the need to beat a dead horse long after it’s deceased looming over everything I do in life, I proudly announce that Speed Addicts is your new home for weak, but somewhat comprehensive coverage of Formula 1 racing here at Inside Pulse! Because gosh darn, I’ve typed Kimi Raikkonen more than I have Dale Earnhardt Jr. over the last two weeks, and that says something!
Magny-Cours is the first stop on the F1 tour following the dreadful United States Grand Prix last week, and the last thing the sport needs is to have another mishap like the tyre situation at Indianapolis. Well, at least for the American market that’ll hear all about another controversy if one should spring up. For those of you uninitiated with the circuit at Magny-Cours, the track features seventeen turns, most of them tight, including a 180 degree Turn 3 that sends up the circuit towards a corner named Aidlaide, which is a vicious whip-around that necessitates a lot of brake use, as demonstrated by the model map of the course found at the official Formula 1 website. For NASCAR fans, you’ll have to envision a track very different from Infineon. It has a bit more in common with Watkins Glen, but then again, there’s not really a lot of similarity in between the French circuit and the Glen, either. It’s a challenging track, nonetheless. We’ll hit up on this race a bit when I get back full time, as well as prepping for the Grand Prix from Hockenheim, Germany on July 24th.
Before we switch gears, though, I’d like to take time to thank everyone that wrote in regarding the numerous flaws and errors in the F1 Special. There’s too many of them to list, and some people took issue with some of the points raised, which is what makes the world go round. Hopefully, our Formula 1 coverage will improve over time; if not, I’ll have to go find someone that watches it all the damn time to write this column. Don’t make me reward you like that!
Oh, and remember how I was talking about Americans and Europeans being opposite, or rather, backwards from each other in the F1 Special? In any and all Formula 1 talk from now own, “tires” will be known as “tyres”, just because I can. Hoo-Rah!
And another thing, regarding a bit of confusion about the Ecclestone references in the F1 Special. Here’s the original news headline meant for this column, to cover that little incident.
Original Transcript
Ecclestone Repeats Comments Against Danica, During Conversation With Her
Ahem…
Well, shit.
Well, I think we can safely say that we’ve wandered off the deep end, as we’re about two heartbeats away from a full-blown controversy amongst the fallout from ANOTHER one. For those of you out of the loop, Bernie Ecclestone, F1’s “head honcho” as it were, was at Indy this past weekend for the U.S. Grand Prix. Being at Indianapolis, reporters felt the need to quiz him about the performance of Danica Patrick, who everyone in the free world has heard of by now (and not that it’s a bad thing, either. I LOVE YOU, DANICA!) Ecclestone started off by complementing her impressive Indy run… then blindsided everyone not from Europe and/or unfamiliar with Ecclestone by mentioning this:
Ahem.
For starters, I’m really impervious to stupid remarks after living in a world of jackasses for quite a while now. What I am shocked at is that Ecclestone called Danica. And repeated the comment again. Well, that took an extra bit of chutzpah to keep a brick from flying upside his head. Then again, Ms. Patrick handled herself incredibly well given the uproar the ERA relics caused when Bernie flapped his gums once too often. Ecclestone will join Robby Gordon as the ones to be force-fed crow if Danica wins this year. Given her performances at Indianapolis and … well, Texas was a poor run, along with her 10th place finish at the demanding Richmond circuit, she’s not far off from a win. Hopefully.
Race #16 of 36: Dodge/Save Mart 350 at Infineon
Date: Sunday, April 10th, 2005 from Martinsville, Virginia
Time: 2:30 PM on FOX (Last FOX Broadcast of 2005)
Pole Sitter: Jeff Gordon (#24 DuPont Chevrolet – 94.325 MPH)
Distance: 1.99 Mile Road Course
2004 Winner: Jeff Gordon
Busch Race Winner: Johnny Sauter (Milwaukee)
Infineon. The premier road course in NASCAR. Long noted for its funky transitions, hairpin final corner, and plenty of memorable finishes, the Infineon Raceway in Sonoma, California plays host to the final NASCAR on FOX broadcast of 2005. So make sure you get your fix of “Boogity Boogity Boogity” today. If you’ve never seen a Road Course race before… well, you’re in for a treat, because right turns are too kool for skool! It’s one of only two places on the tour that you’ll see the famous “snake chain” where cars look like giant snakes running along the course.
Guys like Jeff Gordon and Robby Gordon are tremendously successful on Road Courses, but it is also at these circuits that you’ll see NASCAR’s version of mercenaries for hire: the specialists. Guys like Boris Said, though they race other venues, make it a point to run at Infineon and Watkins Glen. And usually, they are very successful in doing so. That’s why it’s always fun to watch a Road Course race, because there’s always the chance that a greenhorn can challenge for the win. It may not be Riverside, but damned if it isn’t close. That being said, I’ll go with the guy that was fastest in the final practice. The guy that I’ve been picking for three weeks now. Damnit, Tony! MAKE ME RIGHT! For once…
Predicted Top Five
1. Tony Stewart
2. Jeff Gordon
3. Boris Said
4. Ricky Rudd
5. Robbie Gordon
Bud Pole Qualifying Results
01. #24 Jeff Gordon – DuPont Chevrolet
02. #48 Jimmie Johnson – Lowe’s Chevrolet
03. # 6 Mark Martin – Viagra Ford
04. #136 Boris Said – CENTRIX Financial Chevrolet
05. # 7 Robby Gordon – Harrah’s Chevrolet
06. #97 Kurt Busch – Crown Royal Ford
07. #20 Tony Stewart – The Home Depot Chevrolet
08. #11 Terry Labonte – FedEx Freight Chevrolet
09. #39 Scott Pruett – Texaco/Havoline “Shine On” Dodge
10. # 8 Dale Earnhardt Jr. – Budweiser Chevrolet
11. #12 Ryan Newman – ALLTEL Dodge
12. #01 Joe Nemechek – U.S. Army Chevrolet
13. # 5 Kyle Busch – Kellogg’s Chevrolet
14. # 2 Rusty Wallace – Snap-On 85th Anniversary/Miller Lite Dodge
15. #31 Jeff Burton – Cingular Wireless Chevrolet
16. #10 Scott Riggs – Valvoline Chevrolet
17. #42 Jamie McMurray – Texaco/Havoline “Shine On” Dodge
18. #25 Brian Vickers – GMAC/ditech.com Chevrolet
19. #49 Ken Schrader – Schwan’s Home Service Dodge
20. #21 Ricky Rudd – U.S. Air Force/Motorcraft Ford
21. #29 Kevin Harvick – GM Goodwrench Chevrolet
22. #33 Brian Simo – Korbel California Champagnes Chevrolet
23. #99 Carl Edwards – Office Depot Ford
24. #17 Matt Kenseth – DeWalt Power Tools Ford
25. #45 Kyle Petty – Brawny/Georgia-Pacific Dodge
26. #9 Kasey Kahne – Dodge Dealers/UAW Dodge
27. #22 Scott Wimmer – Caterpillar Dodge
28. #187 Chris Cook – christinemariemotorsports.com Chevrolet
29. #07 Dave Blaney – Jack Daniel’s Chevrolet
30. #88 Dale Jarrett – UPS/Herbie: Fully Loaded Ford
31. # 0 Mike Bliss – NetZero Best Buy Chevrolet
32. #19 Jeremy Mayfield – Dodge Dealers/UAW Dodge
33. #18 Bobby Labonte – Interstate Batteries Chevrolet
34. #15 Michael Waltrip – NAPA Auto Parts Chevrolet
35. #27 Tom Hubert – Freddie B’s/Napa Ford
36. #41 Casey Mears – Target Dodge
37. #40 Sterling Marlin – Coors Light Dodge
38. #43 Jeff Green – Cheerios/Betty Crocker Dodge
39. #77 Travis Kvapil – Kodak/Jasper Engines Dodge
40. # 4 Mike Wallace – Lucas Oil Products Chevrolet
41. #16 Greg Biffle – Post-it/National Guard Ford
42. #38 Elliott Sadler – M&M’s Ford
43. #32 Ron Fellows – Tide Chevrolet
Victory Lap for the Pimps
Eric wants someone to talk about golf, so here we go. Annika has a meltdown at Cherry Hills, and people are surprised. There’s just no love for people (or horses circa Triple Crown) that try to make history nowadays. Then again, at +6, she’s only five off the lead, so there’s slim hope left. Michelle Wie looks good, which is nice for a change, since we can compliment her for her skills, rather than her age. I still have Paula Creamer winning the Open, though; she’s only 1 off the pace, and seems to have her act together. Golf May Suck, but This Doesn’t.
Pomazak makes the world a better place. Again. Pancakes…
The Man. The Myth. The Legend! Nguyen!
Victory Lane
Instead of one huge column, you get three columns that are special in their own individual way! Okay, I’m lazy, shut up. Hope you guys enjoy Infineon, Daytona, Magny-Cours, and whatever follows that. It’s been a great first half of the year, and I’m looking forward to entertaining the masses when I return. Until I do, stay out of trouble. And stay the Hell away from Chinese food. That stuff be evil!
We gone. Peace.
