The Write Off: Royal Rumble 1992

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Event Details:
Location: The Knickerbocker Arena in Albany, New York
Hosts: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby “the Brain” Heenan
Reported Attendance: 17,000

-Opening Contest: The Orient Express (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. The New Foundation:

This is the Orient Express’s last WWF pay-per-view match. The New Foundation is the Hart Foundation 2.0 minus the pink & black tights (think High Energy attire instead) and is made up of Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart. Owen and Kato start and Owen works the arm until Kato takes him down and holds his shoulders to the mat for a couple two-counts that Owen bridges out of. Owen gets an armdrag off the ropes and a hurricarana gets two. Neidhart comes in and keeps the arm attack going until he decides to demonstrate his power and that brings in Tanaka. Tanaka gets bounced around and Owen gets tagged in for a second rope elbowdrop following a Neidhart slam for two. Backbreaker by Owen gets two. Owen gets an enzeguri after bouncing around and Neidhart gets tagged in, allowing Owen to whip him into Tanaka in the corner where he nails a running shoulder thrust. Kato comes in to help out his partner but Neidhart clotheslines the heels and Owen gets a flying bodypress off the top rope onto the Express, after Neidhart gives them a double-noggin knocker, for two. Owen hits a spinning kick off the ropes on Kato, who I guess is now the legal man, for two. Suplex by Owen gets two. Owen tries to unmask Kato so he bails. Like that ever works. Back in, Tanaka kicks Owen in the back when he runs the ropes and Fuji hits Owen with the cane to give the Express the advantage and Kato ends up getting a thrust kick for two. Spinning elbow off the ropes gets two. The Express continues to pound on Owen with Owen taking Bret’s chest-first bump into the corner to give Tanaka a two-count. Thrust kick by Tanaka on an Owen blind charge gets two. Kato comes in and gives us a chinlock that looks crappy because the arms are so loose. Owen gets a fluke crucifix for two. Match slows a bit with the Express taunting and cheating behind the referee’s back but the crowd could care less about them. Tanaka gets a flying forearm for two. We get a false tag spot after Owen slams Tanaka’s face into the canvas and the distraction of the referee sees the Express whip Owen into a corner where Fuji has hung his cane, but that only gets two as Owen puts his foot on the ropes. I’ve been waiting for YEARS to see them try that spot (well maybe tapes but it’s the same difference). Belly-to-belly suplex off the ropes by Owen gets two until Kato breaks it up and he prevents Neidhart from tagging in. Double-clothesline from the Express behind the referee’s back gets one. Tanaka goes through the motions and a modified hot shot gets two. Owen dropkicks the heels on a whip to force the double KO and we see a momentum swinging tag to Neidhart. Neidhart gets a slingshot shoulderblock into the heels from the apron and clotheslines Tanaka. Owen whips Neidhart into Kato, who gets knocked to the outside, and then Neidhart whips Owen into a suicide dive onto Kato on the floor. Damn, that was insane. Back in, Neidhart powerslams Tanaka and a Rocker Launcher finishes at 17:21. Great opener but it wasn’t as good as the Express-Rockers matchup from the previous years Rumble, although the crowd reaction to the match may have played a role in this rating. I guess after this match in storyline terms Fuji decided to visit Japan for new talent and found Yokozuna who he’d bring into the WWF in late 1992. ***½

-Lord Alfred Hayes shows us footage from Springfield, Massachusetts where the Mountie upset an “ill” Bret Hart for the Intercontinental Championship.

-Sean Mooney interviews Intercontinental Champion The Mountie with Jimmy Hart who says he’ll take “Rowdy” Roddy Piper’s integrity, manhood, and dignity

-“Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews “Rowdy” Roddy Piper who makes fun of the Mountie’s previous promo and concludes by saying that the Mountie is having wet dreams of victory

-Intercontinental Championship Match: The Mountie (Champion w/Jimmy Hart) vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper:

Crowd goes apeshit for Piper who has a very unique opportunity this evening: to win this match for the Intercontinental title and then a chance to become WWF Champion by winning the Royal Rumble. Piper lays into the Mountie to start the match and follows him to the floor when he bails. However, the Mountie throws Jimmy Hart into Piper to gain the advantage and they go back into the ring where Piper hits a fistdrop when the Mountie attempts a monkey flip. Piper takes the Mountie to the buckles and hits a bulldog. Wacky fistdrop gets two as the Mountie puts his foot on the ropes. Piper jumps on the leg that is over the ropes which broke the previous pinfall just because he can. Mountie avoids a Piper dropkick and gets two off of that (although it takes an eternity to cover). Mountie takes Piper to the buckle several times and bites. Elbow off the ropes gets two. Piper gets a sunset flip from the apron after the Mountie tosses him to the floor for two. Messy sequence sees Piper get the advantage with a backdrop and an atomic drop. Piper is distracted with Jimmy Hart, who has hopped on the ring apron, as the Mountie skins the cat back into the ring after it looked like the atomic drop would send him the floor. However, when the Mountie tries to hit Piper from behind, he collides with Jimmy Hart and Piper puts on the sleeper for the win at 5:19. In my mind, the finishing sequence was stupid because Hart got up after the collision and had the shock stick IN HIS HANDS but didn’t run-in for the DQ that would’ve helped his guy keep the belt. If he had stayed knocked out on the floor after the collision the interference could’ve easily been seen as a non-factor. Still, a cool moment for Piper as the crowd EXPLODES after Howard Finkel announces his championship victory and the smile on his face is priceless. Match was poor but what did you expect? *

-Hayes tries to get a interview “Coliseum Video exclusive style” with Hulk Hogan that is unmemorable

-Okerlund interviews the Bushwhackers with Jameson. Luke’s words about the “Beverly Sistas” and how it’s going to their final fling is pretty hilarious

-The Beverly Brothers (w/The Genius) vs. The Bushwhackers (w/Jameson):

The weird characterizing of the Bushwhackers continued into 1992 with their manager Jameson, who I’m not even going to begin to explain. I’m sure wrestlecrap.com will recycle his profile someday for those interested. It takes several minutes for us to have a lockup so Heenan treats us to a combination of Jameson jokes and paranoia about Ric Flair’s number in the Royal Rumble. Luke starts off with Beau Beverly and the Beverly’s do a lot of double-teaming behind the referee’s back before the Bushwhackers force them to bail. Back in, not much happens until all four men get back into the ring and the Bushwhackers whip the Beverly’s into each other and double-clothesline them to the outside. Comedy sequence sees the Bushwhackers chase the Beverly’s around the ring when they try sneak attacks and I just wish this match would end. Beau gets a two-count off a top rope axehandle and the Beverly’s do more cheating behind the referee’s back on Luke for two. Beverly’s run through their unexciting offense as Gorilla and Heenan try to fill in the voids with humor, which they are quite good at. Jericho cover by Beau gets two and that gets reversed for two. The Genius slaps Jameson on the floor and Jameson sells it like he’s been hit with a clothesline or something. Beau gets a second rope axehandle for two before Butch breaks it up. Crowd is absolutely dead at this point as they could care less about either team. Long Bushwhacker matches aren’t fun. We finally hit the double KO spot as Luke clotheslines Blake out of the corner and we get a momentum swinging tag to Butch. Flying forearm on Blake gets two before Beau interrupts. Beau trips Butch when he runs the ropes and Blake covers for two before Luke interrupts that. Blake then holds Butch for a Beau top rope axehandle and that finishes at 14:57. Who thought giving these four guys FIFTEEN minutes was a good idea? Afterwards, the Bushwhackers act like sore losers and disrupt the Beverly’s victory party. Jameson then kicks the Genius in the shin and that’s that, I guess. Absolutely terrible match that went a good eight minutes too long and there wasn’t a word of specific commentary Monsoon or Heenan offered to give this entire match it was THAT bad. DUD

-WWF Tag Team Champions the Legion of Doom say they won’t be closet champions and will defeat the Natural Disasters

-WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The Legion of Doom vs. The Natural Disasters (w/Jimmy Hart):

Man, this undercard SUCKS. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. How Jimmy Hart has kept his job long enough for this title match after the Intercontinental title match debacle I mentioned above I have no idea. Typhoon and Hawk start us with a lockup that goes nowhere and shoulderblocks do the same. Flying clothesline by Hawk gets two, though, before Earthquake breaks up the pin. We get some spots to show that, indeed, Earthquake is fat and the LOD have the “speed” advantage. Nice to see the WWF booking the match for all those fans with IQ’s below one. Animal tries to slam Earthquake, but can’t because Earthquake is HUGE and he’s not Hulk Hogan, and that only gets a near-fall. Typhoon gets whipped into Animal in the corner and squashes him but a blind charge eats boot. However, the comeback is short lived as Hawk’s crossbody off the ropes (I know, like, WTF?) leads to Typhoon catching him and delivering some backbreakers. Earthquake hits an elbowdrop to the back for two. Disasters actually use some psychology on Hawk’s back, but the jury is still out on whether that is going to do anywhere. We get the payoff, I guess, on that psychology with an Earthquake bearhug but Hawk isn’t weakened enough. Blind charge by Earthquake misses and a second rope elbow by Hawk gives us the double KO. Momentum swinging tag is given to Animal, who runs the ropes like the Ultimate Warrior, and gives Earthquake a flying shoulderblock. Animal hits the R2 button to go over the Disasters double-atomic drop and the action spills to the outside where the LOD get counted out at 9:23. Afterwards, the LOD take exception to the Disasters partying with their title belt, so they take a chair and clean house. Geez, the faces aren’t taking their losses so well tonight. Match was much better than it had any right to be and I actually wouldn’t have minded them taking eight minutes from the Bushwhackers-Beverly’s and putting that into this match. *½

-The Disasters and Jimmy Hart complain to Sean Mooney that they should be the champions because they defeated the LOD

-New WWF Intercontinental Champion “Rowdy” Roddy Piper says he’s got one title down and one more to go

-Mooney interviews Shawn Michaels, living up his new “Heartbreak Kid” gimmick, and they look back at Michaels turning on Marty Jannetty which kept Jannetty out of the Rumble match

-In a Coliseum Video exclusive “Nature Boy” Ric Flair tells Lord Alfred Hayes that he drew number three and he’s not worried about it

-We get a whole stash of Rumble interviews: “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Sid Justice, the British Bulldog, Jake “the Snake” Roberts, the Undertaker, and Hulk Hogan.

-Royal Rumble Match for the WWF Championship:

The title was declared vacant by President Jack Tunney after controversial finishes between the Undertaker and Hulk Hogan over the belt in late-1991. Tunney delivers a crappy speech where he welcomes all viewers and says the generic “may the best man win” line. They really should’ve videotaped that bit.

#1 is the British Bulldog and #2 is the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase (CRAP!) accompanied by a Sensational Sherri who looks HOTT in Victorian garb. DiBiase thinks he’s tossed the Bulldog after an offensive flurry but the Bulldog just hits the apron and clotheslines DiBiase to the floor to eliminate him. I’m glad DiBiase was able to get a tag title run with IRS, which extended his career another year and a half in the ring, because that elimination showed how low he was on the WWF singles totem pole at this point. #3 is “Nature Boy” Ric Flair and Heenan nearly has a heart attack. The Bulldog does his stupid “let me lift the guy up in a gorilla press slam but instead of slamming him over the top rope I’ll just slam him inside the ring” spot. Sorry, but that spot just goes all over me and if the Bulldog had learned his lesson from this event he would’ve prevented Shawn Michaels from winning in 1995. #4 is Jerry Sags of the Nasty Boys and the heels beat up the Bulldog until he clotheslines them down. The Bulldog tosses Sags onto the ring apron and then dropkicks him off, when Sags taunts the crowd instead of getting back into the ring, to eliminate him. Well that was stupid of Sags but I guess he just wanted to get his “nasty” on. #5 is Haku and he gets dumped right before #6 comes out making it the second year in a row that the Bulldog eliminates Haku from the Rumble.

#6 is “the Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels, debuting his new gimmick, and he tangles with Flair. Who would’ve imagined they’d still be fighting in the WWF thirteen years after this? Michaels avoids a clothesline elimination attempt by the Bulldog by hitting the apron and they run through so many spots they do for the 1995 Royal Rumble it’s scary. #7 is “El Matador” Tito Santana and he tangles with Michaels so they can use the time to set up their WrestleMania VIII match which was a disappointment. #8 is the Barbarian and he attacks the Bulldog. #9 is the Texas Tornado and he and Flair go at it to provide a wink at the NWA fans. Santana goes after the Barbarian to try to convince him to give him his job back from WrestleMania VI and only gets beaten on in return. Some people are just so damn rude these days. #10 is the Repo Man and he just beats on whoever he feels like.

#11 is Greg “the Hammer” Valentine who performed well in 1991 but is wearing his unlucky red tights so we’ll see how those work out for him. Valentine goes after Flair, the preferred target for the faces tonight, and gives him some chops with Bulldog’s help. #12 is Nikolai Volkoff and he attacks Repo Man. Valentine puts Flair in the figure-four as Repo Man eliminates Volkoff. #13 is the Big Bossman and he unloads on everyone, not caring about face/heel affiliation. Repo Man eliminates Valentine with a backdrop. Damn, what did Repo eat for breakfast this morning? Oh, well I guess it doesn’t matter now because he just got eliminated by the Big Bossman. Flair backdrops the Bulldog out and then does the same to the Tornado. Santana and Michaels tumble out together which I guess serves as a good enough preface for a match at WrestleMania. #14 is Hercules and he attacks Flair. Barbarian does the stupid gorilla press slam spot to Flair. Hercules dumps the Barbarian when he tries to dump Flair and Bossman clotheslines him out from behind. Bossman dominates Flair but a dive off the ropes misses and the Bossman is eliminated leaving Flair all alone. Now THAT is what you call cleaning out the ring. #15 is “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and he attacks his rival Flair with a gusto as the crowd explodes. They fight in and out of the ring and Piper eventually locks in his sleeper after no-selling Flair’s attempted offense.

#16 is Jake “the Snake” Roberts and he comes down the ring and just sits in the corner, watching the sleeperhold. That’s just so cool in so many ways. Roberts finally decides he’s had enough of that and beats on Piper in the corner and then helps Flair to his feet so he can give him a short-arm clothesline. Jake goes to DDT Flair, only to see Piper break it up with a clothesline, and Flair locks in a figure-four on Roberts only to see Piper break that up. Funny commentary from Heenan during that segment where he praises Piper for helping Flair and then quickly condemns him after he breaks up the figure-four. #17 is Hacksaw Jim Duggan and he attacks Flair. Another funny spot as Roberts gives Duggan an inverted atomic drop as he tries one of his “HOOOO!” spots. That just made my day. #18 is Irwin R. Schyster, otherwise known as IRS, and he attacks Flair too. #19 is “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka and he nails Piper when he tries to eliminate Flair. Nothing else happens of note. #20 is the Undertaker, who along with Hogan was given preferential treatment in the Rumble draw, and he quickly dumps Snuka. Undertaker starts choking his ally Flair and then gives Duggan a mule kick when he tries to break that up in another hilarious moment.

#21 is “Macho Man” Randy Savage and he and Roberts have a go at it. Savage gives Roberts a top rope axehandle and gives Roberts a kneelift to eliminate him. Savage then hops over the top rope to the floor to attack Roberts but the referees allow him to continue because no one tossed him out. Hmmm…that rule is new to me but it makes sense. Another funny spot where Flair gives the Undertaker a low blow and the Undertaker just walks it off. #22 is the Berzerker and he attacks Duggan. Those two seem so…right for each other. #23 is Virgil and he attacks IRS because he wants to be poor now and hates anyone with money. #24 is Colonel Mustafa and he tussles with Duggan because he’s anti-American you know. Lots of bodies in the ring right now, someone needs to come in here and clean it out. #25 is “the Model” Rick Martel, who holds the time record in the Rumble, and he tries to eliminate Flair who is attempting to break his record. Savage dumps Mustafa to clear out more dead weight.

#26 is Hulk Hogan and I expect some bodies to start flying in no time. Hogan gives the Undertaker and Ric Flair a double-noggin knocker and, after a beating by the heels, clotheslines the Undertaker out and then backdrops the Berzerker out. Sorry, but there is no excuse for the Undertaker getting eliminated THAT early. Duggan and Virgil topple out together which is an unlikely way for those two to be eliminated but that’s the way Patterson booked it. #27 is Skinner and he brawls with Piper. Funny site as IRS attacks Hogan with Hogan’s shirt wrapped around his neck. #28 is Sgt. Slaughter and he, of course, attacks Flair. Martel dumps Skinner. Piper and Hogan renew their rivalry from 1985 and then decide to just beat on Martel instead. #29 is Sid Justice and he attacks IRS but can’t dump him. Everyone jockeys for position as #30 is the Warlord.

So that leaves us with Flair, Sid, IRS, Hogan, Slaughter, Piper, Martel, Savage, and the Warlord which isn’t a bad field of finalists to have. Hogan gives Flair a suplex outside of the ring as Sid whips Slaughter into the corner chest-first with AUTHORITY, and Slaughter tumbles over the buckles, and to the floor to be eliminated. IRS gets eliminated after Piper pulls him out by his tie when IRS tries to eliminate him. Hogan and Sid dump the Warlord after a double-team. Sid then dumps Martel and Piper when they tangle near the ropes.

Final Four: Savage, Sid, Flair, and Hogan. Sid tries to dump Savage as Hogan and Flair tangle in the corner and a Flair kneelift finally gets the job done as that sends Savage to the floor. Hogan pounds on Flair after a Flair flip, which allows Sid to dump Hogan out from behind. However, instead of being a gracious loser and going back to the dressing room, Hogan acts like a sore loser like all the other faces on the show, grabs Sid’s arm, and Flair uses the opportunity to dump Sid for the win and his first WWF Championship at 62:15. Flair also sets a new longevity record in the Rumble at 60 minutes. Flair doesn’t even get to celebrate his victory, though, as Hogan runs Flair off (why am I not surprised?) and he and Sid have a showdown in the ring. The crowd is totally on Sid’s side here and showed that the WWF fan base was tiring of Hogan. The best Royal Rumble in WWF history, period, as this match had the best star power, the best eliminations, and the best surprise factor as to who would win it all. *****

-Okerlund interviews the new WWF Champion Ric Flair with Bobby “the Brain” Heenan and Mr. Perfect. Jack Tunney congratulates Flair on his victory and gives him the WWF Championship and Flair puts over the WWF title and says that now Hogan, Savage, and Piper have to pay homage to him because he’s the champion.

OVERALL TAPE RATING (BUST-****): ***. This tape is worth a rental at worst due to the Rumble match being awesome and one of the best booked matches in WWF history. Also, while the Beverly Brothers-Bushwhackers match stinks up the card in the middle it can’t dent a tape with a ***** Rumble match, the great moment of Piper winning his only title in the WWF, and a ***½ opener. After all, it’s not the WWF’s fault the undercard was crappy because they had to keep their best talent fresh for the Rumble match.

Logan Scisco has been writing wrestling reviews for Inside Pulse since 2005. He considers himself a pro wrestling traditionalist and reviews content from the 1980s-early 2000s. Most of his recaps center on wrestling television shows prior to 2001. His work is featured on his website (www.wrestlewatch.com) and he has written three books, available on Amazon.com.