The Midnight News 07.11.05

The summer of Hyatte? More like the summer of monotony.

Mike O’Brien

And you can BLOW ME, FAN BOY

War, Famine, Pestilence and DEATH, you stupid douche.

Chad Smith

Oh, like, whatever

Hey Hyatte, Just wanted to let you know that Vince Russo owns a cd and dvd store here in Marietta, Georgia, where I live. I went by there the other day, cause I’m a huge fan-boy, and said hey, bought a couple of movies. I told him that I missed having him do what he did. After saying thanks, he proceeded to tell me that he was about to close the store and try to start running shows again. I don’t know if he has any major plans, or if he’s just trying to start something small time, but if i had a guess, i’d say small. Anyway, i just wanted to let you know, i have been reading you since the scoops days, and miss the mop-up! But i just figured if i was going to tell anyone, it’d have to be you. Oh, and i f*cked your mom. While you were in her. I think you tugged on my dick. Fag.

Jay Ward

Well… this letter got UGLY in a hurry, didn’t it?

Show of hands, how many people REALLY THOUGHT we’d seen the last of Vinnie Ru… I mean, REALLY?

Hello Meatsacks! I’m Chris and this is the Midnight News!! Once again, STAMPEDING through the Summer with a string of fairly fresh, almost new(ish) columns! I’m calling it The Summer of Hyatte… YOU may call it a gift! Oh yes, a big, fat, XMas gift 5 months early!

So what are you getting for Christmas? I’ve got plans. Yup. Big ones.

Speaking of hillbillies, Flea wrote something AGAIN. Flea knows how to hitch a ride when Hyatte starts to roll. He knows.

This week, I want to start off with a little serious commentating, then I do what I enjoy doing the most and make fun of people… fun times will be had!

Off we go.

IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES….

A good heel turn is a thing of beauty.

But it’s got to be done right, it has to make sense. And it has to come out of nowhere, but with hints scattered throughout. You need foreshadowing and subtle little touches to make it happen and make it resonate.

With the WWE, often times their heel turns are made out of nowhere and for no good reason other than a quick shock. Steve Austin turned heel at Wrestlemania 17 against the Rock and although the excuse was he just couldn’t beat the dude, the REASON was becazuse it was the last match on a sort of boring show and they needed a monster stunt to make it memorable.

Other times, a heel turn is to advance a career in a new direction. Trish Stratus heeled out on Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania 20 and her career went through the roof. The problem is, the turn made no sense. She became Christian’s evil f*ckbuddy after Christian beat the ever-loving piss oot of her. Nutty Canadian.

Most times, the heel turn is LAME… LAZY. That’s when they do the whole “slowly I turn” move where a worker just snaps and goes heel with hardly any provocation. Sometimes you can see it coming a mile away… like when Stephanie heeled up and joined her “husband” Triple H and left Test at the alter. Bret Hart and Ric Flair turned so much during their careers that the surprise was taken completely out and the guy they heeled up on ends up looking like a moron. Even casual fans know that Flair will ALWAYS be working with Triple H… and they will wonder why that idiot Batista (or Shawn Michaels) are falling for it.

The two best Heel turns ever came NOT from the WWE, but from WCW, of all places… 1: Was when Barry Windham turned on Lex Lugar during a tag team match and joined the Horsemen and 2: Was when Hulk Hogan re-invigorated his career and joined the Outsiders. On both occasions, everything was working. There were subtle hints, low-key foreshadowing, and minor little details that didn’t make any sense until you saw the whole picture and everything fell into place AFTER the turn. Everyone from the directors to the announcers to the workers smoothly built the story so it unfolded as a complete shock to the viewer… only to have us think “Oh, it all makes sense now! I had a feeling something was up” when thinking about what we just saw later. THAT is a good heel turn, the one you don’t see coming but you subconsciously pick up on enough little clues that give you a funny feeling.

Shawn Michaels Superkicking Hulk Hogan out of nowhere was one of those perfect heel turns. From HBK mentioning how he whines and whines until he gets what he wants earlier in the how, to him reminding us that he is known to be a bit of a Diva, to him letting Hogan take the match home after doing most of the work, to the director discreetly keeping the camera off Michaels and onto Hogan for much of the post-match posedown, to the Announcers being stunned silently after the fact. All the pieces were there. Lots of little foreshadowing clues dropped. Enough to make me wonder as I watched the match, “I wonder if they ever thought of an HBK/Hogan match?” Even the lack of Triple H on the show for the last few weeks was a hint.

And by God, when he kicked Hogan, one week shy of the 9th anniversary of the time Hogan shocked the world by going heel (and I invented the whole throwing trash in the ring gimmick), the world was shocked… well, wrestling fans were shocked.

It was a joy to behold.

IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES…

And then, a few days later, Muhammed Hassan has his “cell faction” kick the Undertaker’s ass and then he puts him in the Camel Clutch… just hours after London gets blasted by real life Terrorist attacks. Everything cheap, trashy, low-rent, and hillbilly about this business was laid BARE right there. Every reason why I will NEVER wear a pro wrestling t-shirt was on display right there. Of all the ridiculous, desperate, pandering stunts to pull.

It’s reason like this why I NEVER talk wrestling off the Internet. It’s reasons like this why my time on the IWC is coming to an end.

And its reason like this why Vince McMahon will never get a car manufacturer, or anyone else respectable, to buy air-time.

Oh, and this is all the Undertaker’s fault too, by the way. There was no WAY he was going to allow Hassan and Davairi to beat him up on their own. He probably demanded serious back-up! Blame the Taker! It’s his fault!

Completely tasteless. And I revel in tasteless humor… but this is just desperate.

Wanna know why wrestling is a joke? There you go.

THE INDY 500 (DIVIDED BY 2)

My friend Sean runs the The Declaration of Independents site, which is pretty much the HUB of Indy tracking activity for the Northeast. It also features the wildest Message board forum around. Big site, lotsa traffic.

Sean takes this thing seriously, and every year he runs the Top 250 Indy Workers of the year sheet… which is like the PWI 500 list except there is like, NO CHANCE you’ve heard of 90% of these people. He asked me to promote it… which is funny because he probably has more readers than me… but what the hell.

I looked over the list (not really) and here are some names that popped out to me…

1. Chris Candido: Good for him… his asking price should SKYROCKET now!

2. Homicide: I gather this is one scary black man (redundancy?) who you should NOT mess with. I could take him. Easy. Bitch.

4. Samoa Joe: How can he be #4, or so great when he can’t even do 50 sit-ups without cheating?

6. Christopher Daniels: Ain’t he like, 40 now?

7. Jay Lethal: Doesn’t he spin the discs for Limp Bizkit?

8. American Dragon: Stay away from meeeeheee… american dragon, asshole let me beeeeheee

13. Dan Maff (Mafia): I hear this guy had sex with Homicide’s sister. Homicide said he would f*ck him up because of it, so Maff quit the business… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA pussy!

15. B-Boy: Some horny fag promoter gave him that name, I bet’cha

20. Steve Corino: It’s been all downhill since he challanged Sean Shannon (web guy from waaaaaay back) to a fight. Sean’s response? “I have spinal bifada!!

21. Grim Reefer: LAME… no one who smokes reefer is grim

26. Slyck Wagner Brown: At what point do you realize that you’ll never break OUT of the Indys and that the Indys shouldn’t be a CAREER?

27. Matt Striker: This is the schoolteacher who was shitcanned for wrestling. David E. Kelly would have totally used this story for Boston Public if it was still on the air.

37. Simon Diamond: Now doesn’t being #37 make up for Dawn Marie getting knocked up behind your back?

39. Chris Hero: No one on the Indy circuit has any right calling themselves “Hero” Not many people in the WWE does either, for that matter…. no one is this whole f*cking BUSINESS is a goddam hero… thieves, cheats, snakes, and cons… the lot of them!

42. Ricky Reyes: When he works Japan, his name is “Leaky Lice”

45. Mana “The Polynesian Warrior”: Sounds like a Porno Name

48. EC Negro: Isn’t tjha6t what the Massas used to say to the slaves when they got uppity? Easy, negro! Easy!

49. Insane Dragon: As opposed to Mentally Stable Dragon?

59. The Messiah: When told about being in the top 60, he gave it one thumbs up!

65. Justin Credible: Would’ve been higher but he’s been working double-shifts at Target all year

73. Beef Wellington: If this cat ain’t gay I’ll suck YOUR dick

86. April Hunter: Still would love to pound her ass

100. Rockin Rebel: He knows how to rock… to rock AGAINST ESTABLISHMENT!!!

103. Franky The Mobster: Yeah, the Mafia LOVES professional wrestling.

120. Anthony Michaels: Wasn’t he in The Breakfast Club?

122. Blue Meanie: Even worse, this guy got fat again WHILE with the porn star! Not AFTER she left! JBL should have hit him harder

132. Rain Man: I bet his gimmick is to freak out and hit himself until he blacks out.

139. Jerk Jackson: I jerked a guy named Jackson before… neverf*ckingmind why.

151. Low Life Louie Ramos: Most guys named “Louie” are low lifes, so it works

154. Diamond Dallas Page: Oh that poor bastard

171. Red Hot Russ: No oje in the Indys can possibly be “red hot” No one named “Russ” can be either.

182. Kamala: He’s still alive?

187. The Missing Link: HE’S still alive?

190. Lex Luger: HE’S STILL ALIVE?????

206. Harry Acropolis: Replace that first “O” with an “A” and you’re onto something

208. Greg Spitz: Better change his name to “Greg Swallow” if he wants to make it in THIS business!

227. Mega: Mega what?

239. Japanese Pool Boy: Best damn name in the business.

And that’s enough… for the full list where you can make your OWN fun, go Here. And for a deeper look into the Indy scene, be sure to check out And Another Thing: Independence on a Saturday Night Labor Day, ’05.

WORDS OF WI(S)DRO(M)

I write for this site. This site is called “Inside Pulse.”

Jonathon Widro owns “Inside Pulse”, therefore, I write for Widro.

Now, we all know that Hyatte hasn’t been the most… reliable of IP writers. And I NEVER socialize with other writers… blow them off for the most part. I am no team player.

So when I do something really nice like The Summer of Hyatte, where I spend the WHOLE SUMMER banging out week after week of fresh, new columns (and one best of), do you think Widro would be… I dunno… APPRECIATIVE?!?!?!?!!

Then you don’t know Widro…

Widro: I would’ve preferred you take the summer off and do this in the fall.

Unbelieveable… un…. friggin’…. real.

A FUN FACT THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK SMARTER

*In 1980, the city of Detroit presented Saddam Hussein with a key to the city.*

And just like that, you’re smarter than you were three seconds ago

Hyatte LIVES to inform.

Not surprised… Detroit is the closest thing we have to a third world country. Hell, I know black guys who wouldn’t go there.

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO FLEA

Whenever we talk, I can always count on Flea to give his opinions on just about anything. And those opinions are usually extremely fascinating to listen to. It also allows me to go to the toilet or something while he lectures on.

So, I decided to grab a pen and paper and start jotting down his thoughts. Everyone likes Flea.

The following is 100% true… more or less:

WHERE DOES FLEA STAND ON…

Canada?

If you hate America and want to leave, you’d be pretty stupid to go to Canada when Mexico is RIGHT THERE. And warm

Flea: Whose toolshed was undamaged by the hurricane. Got a little bigger, in fact.

I just redefined the phrase “inside joke”

TRIPLE H IS BETTER THAN YOU

I, for one, am so sick and tired of HHH bashing. Thus, I give you this ongoing gimmick.

Every week, I shall list one good thing Triple H has done that makes him a much better person than YOU, John Q. MySpace Loser, who has never done anything for anyone… and probably a supporter of Rob Feinstein too, you PERVERT!!

Triple H Is Better Than You Because

He gets his Julys OFF, BABY!!

THIS HAS BEEN “TRIPLE H IS BETTER THAN YOU” STARRING TRIPLE H! WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND PRODUCED BY CHRIS HYATTE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

DOING LINES… CAUGHT ON FILM

What I do here is take lines from movies/tv shows and put them here for your amusement and/or delight! Neat, huh?

Of course, I need YOUR help, with submissions and what not. A fellow by the name of Justin Parr has been helping me out with these for years!

This week… well, I like this week’s batch, real eclectic, with a heavy focus on television shots. You’ll enjoy it…

1) Get your ass in the trunk!

Please, I’m claustrophobic

Ya, well I get claustrophobic sucking strange dick

I gotta pee

Well pee in there, motherf*cker.Freeway

02): In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love – they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.The Third Man

03): Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C’mon, the guy’s not even Hispanic.

Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That’s what actors do. They pretend.

All right, I got it. So what if Cruise passes?

Then they go to Brad Pitt. He passes, they go to Keanu Reeves, and on down the list.

Where is Vince on that list?

He ain’t on the list.

Well, how do we get him on the list?

You do “Aquaman,” you stupid f*ck!Entourage

04): OH, FUCK YOU! LIFE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE MISERABLE JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE! Oh, yeah, I know, weird shit happened to you. But you know what? It happened to all of us! And I’m sick to death of you using it as an excuse to act like some FUCKING CUNT FROM HELL!!!

Wow. How long have you hated me like this, Nate?

Oh, I don’t need to hate you. You do a pretty damn good job of hating yourself.

You picked me, y’know?

Oh, yeah? Well, only because I had no idea how f*cked up you really are!

That’s bullshit! You knew and you loved it, because it made you feel good about yourself!

Oh, God, you are so full of shit!

You just can’t see it, because you’re so in love with the idea of Nate, the good guy, Nate, the hero, Nate, the f*cking saint with the f*cking great haircut! The truth is you would run from real love if it ever came at you—

Real love, what the FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT REAL LOVE?!? REAL LOVE!!
YEAH, REAL LOVE, WITH THE SHIT A-AND THE NEEDINESS AND THE UGLINESS AND THE RESPONSIBILITY!!! YOU WOULD FUCKING RUN AND YOU KNOW IT! THE ONLY REASON YOU STAYED WITH ME IS BECAUSE I WAS NEVER REALLY HERE!

You know what? (pulls the ring off his finger) Take your UGLY FUCKING RING.

Don’t you throw that ring at me! That’s such a f*cking cliché I’ll f*cking barf!

(He throws it at her.)

There! Barf!Six Feet Under

05): I know you still love me. Maisy told me. As of this moment, Rex, I am no longer your wife. I am going to find the most vindictive lawyer I can find. And together, we will eviscerate you. I will take away your money, your family, and your dignity. And I am thrilled you still love me. Because I want what’s going to happen to you to hurt as much as humanly possible. I’m just so glad you didn’t die before I told you that.Desperate Housewives

06): What do you think of the problems in the Middle East?

I think the Jews and the Arabs should do what their Christian heritage tells them to.The Best Little Whore House in Texas

07): 07): You’re my little f*cktoy, aren’t you?

Yes I am. Your slut

No one elses

No just yours to do as you please and right now I want you to f*ck my mouth.Hot Rods and Hot Bods IX

08): Have you told anyone I’m coming back?

I just couldn’t figure legal ramifications of bringing you back from the dead.

Dead?

You’ve been gone seven years.

You have me declared dead?

Actually it was Mr. Earl, he’s taking the company public. He wanted to liquidate your majority sharehold. Those shares are worth quite a bit of money.

It’s a good thing I left everything to you then.

Quite so, sir. And you can borrow the Rolls if you like. Just bring it back with a full tank.Batman Returns

09): You’re it.

You’re it.

You’re it, quitsies!

Anti-quitsies, you’re it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!

You can’t do that!

Can too!

Cannot, stamp it!

Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!

Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.

No, you can’t do that… you can’t triple stamp a double stamp, you can’t triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
[hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!

LLOYD! LLOYD! LLOYD!Dumb & Dumber

10): You don’t know me. All right, when you talk to Dana, tell her I’m going to take the pictures from Cancun, and start a website called imahollywoodproducerwhore.com and there will be no registration or fee required, and I will take out a full page ad in the LA Times promoting it. Give me a f*cking call back.Entourage

And there you go…

Entourage rocks, by the way

Okay, let’s wrap her up with another thrilling semi-regular feature…

WRITING WITH BONERS

So Widro wants me to find the “next great writer”… because he knows I’m running out of steam.

Problem is… I don’t want to look… I can’t find anyone, anyway.

But fine… here’s a writer… not great, not even good… and in desperate need of a woman.

On the net, if you look hard enough (I don’t, I SWEAR), you will find something called “Fan Fiction”, where… err…. writers dream up erotic little tales involving wrestlers. I thought I’d showcase a cut from one this week.

Unfortunately, this is a FAMILY COLUMN… so I have to clean it up a bit…. and what better way to clean it up and have a little fun than to do it Mad Libs style!

And so, straight from the depressing mind of RockNRollSinger (rocknrollsinger32001@yahoo.com), I give you…

Dominating Lita

Mad Libs courtesy of The Beatles:

****
Amy went to her locker room and packed. Josh was already out of the arena, and in his hotel. He decided to take a shower. About 15 minutes before RAW ended he heard his door open.

“Amy? That you?” He yelled.

“Yeah!” she yelled back “Where are you?”

“In the shower, Give me about 15 minutes.”

“Ok.”

“Time to snoop around.” Amy said quietly to herself. And snoop she did, but she found nothing out of the ordinary. Which disappointed her. Then she spied a black bag underneith Josh’s queensize bed. She opened it up and immediatly she was (RINGO). For inside the bag were the objects of (HEY BULLDOG). In the bag were a set of (SGT PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND), stained with a bit of (THE CONTINUING STORY OF BUNGALOW BILL), (MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR), a (BACK IN THE USSR), (ELEANOR RIGBY), a (LOVELY RITA) with a long chain that connected to the chain of the (OCTOPUS GARDEN), Hooks for (SAVOY TRUFFLE) some leather (ROCKY RACCOON) she also found in the bag from the ceiling. Just looking at all this stuff was making Amy (HARD DAY’S NIGHT) and (DAY TRIPPER), Her jeans had a noticible wet (NORWEIGAN WOOD) on them. She heard the shower shut off. but didn’t care. She heard Josh talking, but didn’t care. She heard the door open, but didn’t care.

“AMY! WHAT IN THE HELL!” Josh yelled as he stood in a towel.

“Oh my god Josh. what is all this.” Amy turned. As soon as she did, Josh noticed the wet (TAXMAN) on her blue jeans. Josh grinned.

“So you found my secret bag. I guess i’m going to have to (STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER) you now.”

Amy started breathing heavy, she knew, finally, that she was going to have her fantasy fulfilled. Josh walked towards her, he let the towel drop. Amy almost (LIVERPOOL) in her jeans at the sight of his above average (OB-LA-DI, OB-LA-DA), she could not tell how long it was but knew she would enjoy it.

“Do you like the look of my (PETE BEST) Amy?” asked Josh.

“Oh god yes I do. And please, don’t call me Amy. Call me anything but Amy.”

Josh grinned. “You don’t call me Josh either, Call me Master you (EGGMAN) (WALRUS) (COO COO CATCHOO).”

“Mmmm yes master.” Amy replied in a moan.

Josh sat down on the bed, he smiled as he looked at Amy’s body. “How about a (PAUL) for your master (HELP!)?”

Amy nodded her head “Yes my master.” She slowly started to dance. Swaying her hips back and forth in front of him. She did a slow turn, Her (MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR) moving slowly, like an ocean wave. She unbuttoned her black jeans, and started to move them down her legs slowly. A purple and green (LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG TALL SALLY) was the only thing separating her wet (YELLOW SUBMARINE) from the cold air of the room. Then then turned back around. Her (OLD BROWN SHOW) eyes looking down at Josh’s (THE WHITE ALBUM). which he was (WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS) slowly, watching her dance. She licked her lips and pulled her red top off, her (A DAY IN THE LIFE) now free, her (SHE LOVES YOU) harder than they have ever been, pointing straight out. She ran her hands over her (YEAH YEAH YEAH) , squeezing them in her hands, she then moved her hands down her body slowly and grabbed the sides of the (MAXWELL’S SILVER HAMMER), she pulled it down slowly, her shaven wet (ROLL OVER BEETHOVEN) glistening in the light. Josh smiled as his (EVERYONE’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE ‘CEPT ME AND MY MONKEY) was now (HEY JUDE) and waiting for his use.

“Very good my little (PAPERBACK WRITER). Now, reach into that bag and grab that set of (PENNY LANE) clips.”

“Mmmmmm yes master.” Amy moaned as she reached into the bag. She grabbed the (RUBBER SOUL) and placed them onto her (POLYTHENE PAM), Her face showed an expresstion of pain as the cold steel (HERE COMES THE SUN) dug into her sensative skin, peircing pain shot through her body, but she loved it as she placed the (THE BALLARD OF JOHN AND YOKO) on.

Josh smiled as she winced in pain. He motioned for her to get on the bed. Which she did. Josh rolled over on top of her. His large (MONEY) sliding down her ((THAT’S WHAT I WANT)). She moaned loudly as it slide across it. Josh grinned.

“God i want (BEING FOR THE BENEFIT OF MR KITE) so bad. Mmmmm” she moaned in his ear.

“I know, but your going to wait for it (WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS) .” he ordered. Then stood up in front of her, His (WHEN I’M 64) moist with her juices. “Now look what you’ve done. You’ve let yourself (REVOLUTION) on my (REVOLUTION 9). Get up here and (BLACKBIRD) me off (DIZZY MISS LIZZY).”

Amy sat up quickly, and engulfed his (HELTER SKELTER), sucking it right into her (I SAW HER STANDING THERE), taking as much as she could. She had never (LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS) a (TICKET TO RIDE) this big before so she could only take in about (LET IT BE). Josh grew tired of her poor (JOHN) skills. He took the back of her head and pushed it. Pushing her down on his (YESTERDAY).

Amy gasped when his hand grabbed her (PLEASE PLEASE ME). She muffled for air around his (LOVE ME DO) as he pushed her head farther, and farther down his long pulsating (LADY MADONNA). His (THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD) makes her (DEAR PRUDENCE) and almost (I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND) before it finally slides down her (MARTHA MY DEAR). Her nose burried in his (SHE CAME IN THROUGH THE BATHROOM WINDOW), her face purple from lack of air. He pulls her head back and forth on his (ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE), not letting her breath, her eyes watering now, she coughs and gags. Finally he releases her, she pulls off his (HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN) and gasps for air, coughing and spitting.

“Jesus. *cough* Thank you mas *cough* ter *cough*”

Josh reached into the bag, smiling as Amy was still coughing. He grabbed the (ACROSS THE UNIVERSE) . While she had her eyes closed he placed it on her pussy lips, then quickly connected the chain to the chain from the (GLASS ONION). The chains make a nice (AND YOUR BIRD CAN SING) shape on Amy. She gasps as the (ANNA) connects with her ((GO TO HIM)), she screams as it tightens on her. Josh smiles. Then gets the (MEAN MR. MUSTARD) and (EIGHT DAYS A WEEK) out.

“Lay down (DR ROBERT), let me tie you down like a good little (BLUE JAY WAY).”

Amy lays down. Josh then (GET BACK) her to the bed. Amy moans as her (BIRTHDAY) are stretched when Josh pulls her (I DON’T WANT TO SPOIL THE PARTY) to the end of the bed. He ties her (GOOD DAY SUNSHINE) on the bed posts. Her (HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE) up in the air and (CARRY THAT WEIGHT) spread, Her glistining (I WANNA BE YOUR MAN) stretched wide. Josh notices how (DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET) she is, Her (LITTLE CHILD) is almost a glowing red. He decides to tease her some more. He gets up on the bed and slaps her (NOWHERE MAN) with his (GOT TO GET YOU INTO MY LIFE). Amy screams in pleasure as this is done.

“Oh please (DON’T LET ME DOWN) me master, God please, I’ll do anything you want, (HER MAJESTY) me, let me (BABY, YOU’RE A RICH MAN) all over you, god please.”

“God? I am your master. And now I am your GOD! understand?”

“Yes master! Yes god! Please (I ME MINE) me, I’m nothing but a worthless little pleasure (YOU NEVER GIVE ME YOUR MONKEY)!!!!” She screams.

As she completes the sentance, Josh rams his (ONE AFTER 909) inside her. On the first thrust Amy (WILD HONEY PIE), she screams madly.

******

And into the annals of literature, the story continues…

The hell is WRONG with you people?

(funny, I have cyberf*cked girls using shit just like that…. gaaaah, creepy. Sort of stuff NEVER goes down like that in real life… they end up freaking out and screaming, “CAN’T WE DO IT NORMAL???”)

Poor Lita, always getting hammered in one form or another.

Anyway, the Summer of Hyatte Rolls through ANOTHER week… I ain’t stopping… no I ain’t. I may not be in the MOOD for this stuff, but I’m by god doing it…. and Widro can kiss my ass too!

F-It, you all can! Be back next week.

This is (YOKO)