The Double-Team Short Form, 07.14-15.05

And your point is?

By all rights, I shouldn’t be doing this one. My entire concentration is located somewhere in Scotland right now. No, I won’t be doing comments in here or next Tuesday for the events at St. Andrews. I decided to work a blog-type thing up for ryderfakin. I pretty much abandoned it on Friday morning, though, due to events. Fleabag, though, convinced me to try to continue, despite the fact that I can’t think of a way to start riffing on a hundred fifty plus guys being run over by a steamroller. I’ll end up knocking this one out, though, try to congeal my thoughts from Friday on Saturday, and continue from there.

In other words, don’t look for something sparkling or spectacular from this one. It’s the risk that you, the reader, runs four weekends a year with me. Thank you, though, for your forbearance.

THE SMACKDOWN SHORT FORM

Match Results:

Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, and Super Crazy over Paul London, Sho Funaki, and Scotty Go Potty, Trios Match (Pinfall, Guerrera pins London, 450 Splash): Well, good decision on the type of match to “introduce” the Mexicools, I have to admit. And it wasn’t too bad of a match, actually. Way too short to show off everyone, of course, but the Mexicools got some flash in. All in all, not a waste of time. Of course, London getting slightly hurt by Juvi’s 450 wasn’t too much fun, but, hey, it wasn’t me.

“Yeah, I’m gonna do your finishing move. What are you going to do about it?”

Eddy Guerrero over Bob Holly (Submission, Texas Cloverleaf): Boy, this match was slow. We all know that Eddy can go, and even though we haven’t been submitted with much proof recently, we all know that Holly can go. They wrestled at a snoozer’s pace in this one, for some unknown reason. Spoiled the match for me, really. You know, if Eddy weren’t in his own little world with his feud with Rey-Rey, this could have been seen as an elevation match for Holly. Holly just lost a guy whom he could have made a great tag team with due to cuts, and he’s been in limbo as to an identity for a long time. He could have used an elevation here as a sign of support from the management that he’s diligently kissed the ass of for a decade. But give him credit for his abilty to survive. A week ago, his was the name on lots of peoples’ lips when the question “Who’s next?” was being asked. A week later, he’s fighting Guerrero in the Transition Match. And they made him look strong in the process by utilizing the international object in his downfall in this one. Good for him.

An example of the ultra-sophisticated, pure wrestling exhibited by Holly and Guerrero

Christian over Booker T (Pinfall, Unprettier (!!)): Too short to say anything other than, “Damn, they’re really trying to get Christian over after the draft, aren’t they?” The only short-term prospects for Batista to f*ck around with, though, are Christian and Hassan, and now that the UT/Hassan match is a Number One Contender’s Match, Christian’s left out in the cold a bit. The short match should help to establish a feud between these two guys that will give them something to do until that plays out. And then they book it for GAB. Jesus, that’s f*cking desperate.

Now here’s a sight we haven’t seen in a long, long time: Christian actually hitting the Unprettier

DAVE over Orlando Jordan, Chimp Versus Chimp Match (Pinfall, DAVEBomb): You know, in a run-up to a PPV, it’s often a good idea to actually have some angle advancement. This might be a cliche, but it would have been a good idea to actually do for once considering the level of attention that’s been paid to the US Title match for GAB (i.e. none): have Benoit do a run-in to support Batista and even out the odds, setting up the obvious tag match for next week’s main. It’d bring a little attention to the secondary belt, which is really, really, really suffering right now. Fortunately, in that regard, it’ll end up being the Great Canadian Bash. But sometimes it’s good to do the obvious, especially if it involves Benoit.

The rope demonstrates it has better workrate than Jordan or DAVE

Angle Developments:

What Went Missing: Like many of you, I went over to wwe.com (a rare visit, let me assure you) to watch the cut Hassan promo. I’m going to echo a number of comments in the super-secret writers’ forum here and say this: Why isn’t Hassan a face? Everything he says is true. He is an actual underdog considering the world situation today. He’s also a victim of WWE “creative”, who can’t think of anything beyond stereotypes and stark figures. Hassan has dark skin and a Levantine nose, therefore he must be an Evil Raghead. Look, the guy doesn’t have muzzein chants on his Walkman; he’s got Bob Seger playing, to extend an old Detroit cliche. I have been pushing for Hassan and/or Daivari to be faces from Moment One, because I knew coming into this what “creative” would end up doing, and it culminated in the “terrorist” attack. I saw this kind of bullshit months ago. It sort of restores my faith in my ability to analyze wrestling, because I knew they’d go for the cheap way out with him. It moved past the pathetic stage a long time ago. Do something to turn one or both face, probably Daivari, because Hassan’s going to be facing Batista at SummerSlam.

As for the lawyer’s statement and subsequent treatment by UT…look, no lawyer jokes, I promise. That promo strengthened the fact that Hassan should be a face. He has legitimate complaints on behalf of his “client”. “Creative” just keeps writing itself into a deeper hole on this one. It’s time to stop. And Milord said that “creative” actually considered it, but pussied out. Shame on them, and shame on the idiots in the audience who are exhibiting their knee-jerk prejudices every time they boo Hassan.

Glad to know that I.R.S.’s son passed the bar

By the way, Fleabag has a nice conspiracy theory about the New York Post article, but I’ll leave it to him if he wants to throw it out for public consumption.

By the way, if you disagree with me about Hassan because “real Americans wouldn’t behave that way”, catch this:

From the AP Wire:

JACKSON, Mississippi — A Christian adoption agency that receives money from Choose Life license plate fees said it does not place children with Roman Catholic couples because their religion conflicts with the agency’s “Statement of Faith.”

Bethany Christian Services stated the policy in a letter to a Jackson couple this month, and another Mississippi couple said they were rejected for the same reason last year.

“It has been our understanding that Catholicism does not agree with our Statement of Faith,” Bethany’s state director Karen Stewart wrote. “Our practice to not accept applications from Catholics was an effort to be good stewards of an adoptive applicant’s time, money and emotional energy.”

Sandy and Robert Steadman, who learned of Bethany’s decision in a July 8 letter, said their priest told them the faith statement did not conflict with Catholic teaching.

Loria Williams of nearby Ridgeland said she and her husband, Wes, had a similar experience when they started to pursue an adoption in September 2004.

“I can’t believe an agency that’s nationwide would act like this,” Loria Williams said. “There was an agency who was Christian based but wasn’t willing to help people across the board.”

Bethany, based in Grand Rapids, Michigan, has 75 offices in 30 states, including three in Mississippi. The offices are independently incorporated and are affiliated with various religions, spokesman John Van Valkenburg said from the agency headquarters. He couldn’t say whether any were Catholic-affiliated.

He said the Jackson office is affiliated with the Presbyterian Church of America.

“They included this practice of not including Catholics,” Van Valkenburg said Friday.

Stewart told the Jackson Clarion-Ledger that Bethany’s board will review its policy, but she didn’t specify which aspects will be addressed.

The agency’s Web site says all Bethany staff and adoptive applicants personally agree with the faith statement, which describes belief in the Christian Church and the Scripture. It does not refer to any specific branches of Christianity.

“As the Savior, Jesus takes away the sins of the world,” the statement says in part. “Jesus is the one in whom we are called to put our hope, our only hope for forgiveness of sin and for reconciliation with God and with one another.”

Sandy Steadman said she was hurt and disappointed that Bethany received funds from the Choose Life car license plates. “I know of a lot of Catholics who get those tags,” she said.

She added: “If it’s OK to accept our money, it should be OK to open your home to us as a family.”

Bethany is one of 24 adoption and pregnancy counseling centers in Mississippi that receives money from the sale of Choose Life tags, a special plate that motorists can obtain with an extra fee.

Of $244,000 generated by the sale of the tags in 2004, Bethany received $7,053, said Geraldine Gray, treasurer of Choose Life Mississippi, which distributes the money.

“It is troubling to me if they are discriminating based on only the Catholics,” Gray said.

As a (lapsed) Catholic who was adopted as an infant through Catholic Charities, I find this bigoted behavior repulsive. So should all of you, including those retarded Southern Baptists who regard anything Papist as being of the Infidel. So this adoption agency isn’t bombing or murdering or such; they’re still keeping children away from parents who would take them in and love them as their own. But they’re being rejected because someone, somewhere believes that receiving guidance on faith from some German guy in Rome to be a sign of evil.

(Yes, I’m very hard on the Pontiff, but I do have to give the guy credit on one thing: he doesn’t like Harry Potter.)

This is the same type of bigotry that the entire Hassan angle is appealing to. And if you’re buying it, you’re not only a bigot, you are also demonstrating the same type of un-American behavior that you think you’re condemning when you keep chanting “USA! USA!”. Have a look at yourselves first. Cast the first stone and all that.

True Confessions: So, do you think that “creative” has figured out the big reveal for Rey-Rey’s “secret” yet? Personally, I don’t think they have. But, hell, Eddy’s having a lot of fun with the whole thing, so let’s let it go for now, okay?

A lying, cheating, blackmailer in the ring, but p-whipped at home like every other guy

Pimps Are A Wonderful Thing: When Flea and I talked on Friday, we actually discussed Animal’s appearance for some unknown reason. His appearance, we decided, was a sign of two things: 1) They really want to pimp this Road Warriors DVD and don’t care who gets embarassed in the process (thank God Hawk is beyond such things as embarassment). 2) Johnny Ace, Animal’s brother, is getting nearly a million bucks in compensation and bonuses from WWE this year for being Vice President Of Alleged Talent Relations, and he has to do something to justify the money. Sacrificing his own brother for the sake of keeping his job is just the price you pay in this business. I’m sure he’s done worse than shove his brother together with Heidenreich to form the Legion of Dumb.

“Hi, folks, remember me? Buy my DVD, on sale now!”

THE IMPACT SHORT FORM

Match Results:

Petey Williams and Eric Young over Christopher Daniels and Samoa Joe (Pinfall, Williams pins Daniels, Canadian Destroyer): Okay, by standard formula, this means that Wiliams is toast on Sunday. But the big question about Sunday still remains: who’s going to be the face in the Daniels/Williams match? It looks like it’ll be Williams, and it looks like a possible face turn for Williams in the process, especially if he wins the match (again, that’s now in doubt). I am excited about that match, though. I’m less excited about Samoa Joe and Chris Sabin. I like Sabin too much to see him used as Designated Bitch in this way, but Fleabag assures me that if I’d watched more ROH, I would indeed be excited. Sorry, ‘Bag, but I believe in cutting out the middleman; I’ll just send the checks straight to NAMBLA.

Christopher Daniels gets some pre-PPV practice in on making Petey Williams his bitch

Simon Diamond and Trytan over Apolo and Sonny Siaki (Trytan pins Apolo, T-3 With Codeine): Typically dull match with nothing special to recommend it. Both teams have to be together a little longer to click, I think. Trytan may have been a total bust as a Mystery Man Bruiser, but he may find his tag niche. Diamond’s good enough to guide him into it. So when we get this match again in about two months, and you know we will, maybe there will be an improvement.

Trytan can’t even do a Big Boot properly

Shocker over Sonjay Dutt (Pinfall, rollup): Flea: “When did Shocker start to suck?” Eric: “The moment he walked into TNA.”

Shocker, on the other hand, can do a Big Boot properly

Bobby Roode and Alastair Rouse over Sean Waltman and A. J. Styles (Pinfall, Roode pins Styles, lariat): You know, they were going so well in trying to create the atmosphere of “friendly competition” between Walt-Pac and Styles until they decided to put in that stupid miscommunication spot. I hate when they go that cheap. TNA really doesn’t need any type of manufactured competition in some of their matches. The guys are good enough to sell an honor fight. So if something works, let it work.

Bobby Roode gets a rare drop on A. J.

Angle Developments:

The Flocked-Up Nest: And since we didn’t get eno
ugh of it the first two times, TNA has decided to revive the Raven’s Nest/Flock idea. Cassidy Riley is your first unthinking disciple, soon to be joined by any other midcarder or jobber than they want to give a small push to. Look, has anyone benefitted from this shit other than Stevie Richards?

Memo To Cassidy Riley: Raven has a dress code for his mindless zombies. Please follow it.

And now I think I’ll get back to golf. You enjoy your weekend, I’ll enjoy mine.