In Perspective: Piped-In Enthusiasm For This Week’s RAW

Can someone put the RAW tape in from a week ago? I know both shows seemed to be the same thing, but last week’s was better.

Carlito’s retaining against Shelton Benjamin works – last week it was a count out, this week it was a DQ low blow. It doesn’t take away from Carlito’s heel fears that he can’t beat Benjamin cleanly with a pin and continues the feud. What it however needs is some promo work, or it’s just match after match. I would love to see a best of five series with these two and then let them take a rest from each other. Whether intentional or not, Benjamin looks shaky every time he takes a high risk move now. I know he’s operating on a no fears, all chances wrestling arsenal, but there’s no need to clear out two rows of your bump card this early in his career. Carlito has what it takes with his character but he also needs to reconsider his wrestling itinerary – he has a lot to be desired.

Matt Striker’s return as Kurt Angle’s jobber works but it’s not getting Kurt Angle anywhere with his return to RAW. Angle has the ability to headline again but he’s busy with his invitational and being a side heel to Jericho making no progress to any championship whatsoever. I felt it was fresh last week with the almost win, but this week it seemed lame to put Angle in a “rear naked choke” and call it a challenge. Put Striker in a mask, let him get the win, rip the mask off to reveal who he is. Angle can say he never lost to Matt Striker because it was Masked Somebody The Big Pathological Liar! I just feel Angle’s services on RAW would be better suited going up the ladder and not staying on one pivot.

Diva Search, nicey-nicey who would you want off segment. Props to the girl who took digs about the Self-Portrait Talent from last week. The fans chanted boring and Simona was voted off saying “oh well.” Pretty much how I feel. More torture to continue next week, nothing truly compelling about this week’s segment.

The whole Kerwin White gimmick, Chavo can pull anything off. He looks just like Eric Bischoff, it’s crazy. I’m interested to what wrestling style he will do as Kerwin White.

Chris Masters graced us with his presence again, defeating Rosey and ducking out of a challenge by the Big Show. God willing that will be over soon and Show will break the Master Lock and get that over with.

Edge finally sounds like a real person in his worked interview with Todd Grisham showing some emotion and addressing Matt Hardy without mentioning him by name. If he could only pull that off with every promo. When all else fails in a promo, addressing your audience as geeks behind a keyboard who have never been in a relationship, seems to be the JBL way to go.

The Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels promo was a whole lot of nothing and way too long. I’m going to address in-depth their storyline next week, but they both said the same old stuff this week. Shawn is still the reluctant heel and remarkably looks like Bret Hart with some of the looks he gave Hulk Hogan.

The Matt Hardy surprise attack when Edge got to the ring, wasn’t that special this time. The fans didn’t seem that into it like last week, and how JR can’t recognize a “former WWE superstar” is beyond me and that completely took me out of it. It would have been better for him to say “There’s Matt Hardy again, he is not affiliated with the WWE anymore, he’s not contracted to be here. Get the cameras off of him right now!” If you think about all the fan run-ins over the years, they get immediately beat down and taken out with no problem – everyone would attack the fan, not just one person. It would make more sense for the referee, and all the talent to try to bounce Hardy and not just Edge and the suits.

Edge versus Kane in a cage wasn’t too bad, with the appropriate blading by Kane, the spearing into the cage, and the obvious cheating to win with the briefcase spot. The blood was absoultely necessary otherwise this match wouldn’t have worked at all.

Maria and Cena, sexual innuendo, repeat from last week but not as funny as last week’s. Cena’s clearly studied The Rock but the Rock could make that more entertaining somehow.

Snitsky in a main event with Cena in a Heel Lumberjack match. That’s interesting billing. This could have been a complete disaster but the lumberjack element helped give the match energy, with the run-in with the impromptu face lumberjacks and the pounding of the mat that always goes over. Viscera apparently can’t be billed a true heel, ever, when he runs in as a face. Jericho did the right thing by being the pissed off, pouty heel for not being able to get the one-up on Cena. I’m looking forward to next week if Jericho can be referred to something else besides “Y-2-Cheap” which is probably the weakest quip in the history of sports entertainment. Jericho could run circles around Cena in promos but he isn’t in the position to upstage the face right now because that would be counterproductive to Cena trying to be the new Hulk Hogan and that’s putting it in perspective.

Next week is my 24th birthday and I’ll be returning with a in-depth look at Hulk Hogan versus Shawn Michaels and how I would write it. Thanks for reading, take care and feel free to drop me comments anytime at Bam@insidepulse.com.