More Reasons Why Being Deaf Sucks/Rocks

First off you need to go read this week’s edition of Kyle David Paul’s Let’s Rave On. Then come back here.

I honestly don’t believe you’ve read it yet. Try again.

Great column right? Now as much as I enjoyed it I think the conceit was a bit off. Y’see “Hair Metal” doesn’t really measure up to “Hip Hop.” Hair Metal, is by definition a sub genre, while Hip Hop isn’t a sub genre, it’s its own genre.

Kyle is spot on in noting the similarities between Hair Metal and Hip Hop, at least in terms of image and wrestling. He’s even on point with his assessment of musical cycles and how the current cycle is due to wane.

But what I think he’s neglecting is that fact that Hip Hop and Hair Metal coexisted.

Here’s a list of years and some popular Hip Hop albums that saw release that year;

1988Straight Outta Compton, He’s The DJ, I’m The Rapper

19893 Feet High And Rising, Paul’s Boutique, As Nasty As They Wanna Be

1990Mama Said Knock You Out, AmeriKKa’s Most Wanted

1991Death Certificate, Efil4zaggin

1992The Chronic, Check Your Head

1993Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), Doggystyle, Black Sunday

1994Illmatic, Ready To Die, Creepin On Ah Come Up,

1995The Infamous, Me Against The World, Dogg Food

1996ATLiens, The Score, Illadelph Halflife, Reasonable Doubt

1997Life After Death, Supa Dupa Fly, Wu-Tang Forever, The Carnival

1998400 Degrees, It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot, Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

So clearly “Hip Hop” not only lived in the time of Hair Metal, but lived peacefully with Grunge and rubbed elbows with Candy Pop. And just as Rock borrowed from Hip Hop and the hybrid “Rap Rock” became popular, Hip Hop learned from Candy Pop and created Hip Pop, which is, I believe Kyle is predicting the demise of.

Because Hip Hop isn’t just P Diddy and OutKast, it’s also Prince Paul and MF Doom. For every G-Unit there’s a Little Brother. For every Eminem there’s a Wordsworth. For every 50 Cent there’s a Common. For every Mike Jones there’s a Paul Barman. And for every Kanye West there’s a Kanye West?

It Hip Hop is going to be compared to anything, it should be mankind; it’s not been around forever, but it’s been around long enough to secure it’s footing on the food chain. It’s also highly adaptable, at times witty and clever, however most of the time when it makes the news it’s for the wrong reasons. And it’s clearly not living up to its potential, as it’s being lead down the wrong path.

Warped Imagination Showcase

It should be readily apparent that I’ve got too much time on my hands. With that time my mind tends to wander.

This week I was listening to some Jay-Z this past week and I got to thinking; what is these lyrics provide us with a glimpse into his relationship with Beyonce. Here are some examples that I found pretty entertaining.

Before you send me an email saying how incorrect the lyrics are, I know, I got them from the net. I was going to correct them, but I actually found them pretty entertaining.

Best of Me Remix

Yo, yes y’all, Jigga man be ballin’
Leave chicks pigeon-toed, some of them be crawlin’
Get the best of you whenever I put my all in
Have mamis callin, for the Lord, darlin’

That’s high school, makin’ me chase you ’round for months
Have an affair, act like an adult for once
Plus my hand is up your skirt, god**** you flirt
What’s a little me on top gon’ hurt, maybe a little but
Pain is pleasure and pressure bust pipes
And you look like the “I-Like-It-Rough” type
We can crush tonight, tell me what you like

I’ve got to believe that this is exactly how Jay courted Beyonce. It’s pretty straightforward and assertive. That’s probably what drew him to her.

Big Pimpin’

You know I – thug em, censored em, love em, leave em
Cause I don’t censored need em
Take em out the hood, keep em lookin good
But I don’t censored feed em
First time they fuss I’m breezin
Talkin bout, “What’s the reasons?”
I’m a pimp in every sense of the word, censored
Better trust than believe em
In the cut where I keep em
til I need a nut, til I need to beat the guts
Then it’s, beep beep and I’m pickin em up
Let em play with the censored in the truck
Many chicks wanna put Jigga fist in cuffs
Divorce him and split his bucks
Just because you got good head, I’ma break bread
so you can be livin it up? censored I..
parts with nothin, y’all be frontin
Me give my heart to a woman?
Not for nothin, never happen
I’ll be forever mackin
Heart cold as assassins, I got no passion
I got no patience
And I hate waitin..
censored get yo’ ass in

Now I don’t know Jay-Z personally but I’m thinking that he’s a pretty demanding guy. I’ve got to take this verse as truth.

Nigga What, Nigga Who

Niggaz hatin n censored cause I slayed your censored
You know your favorite, I know it made you sick
And now you’re, actin raw but you never had war
Don’t know how to carry your censored, wanna marry your censored
Now she’s mad at me, causer Your Majesty, just happened to be
A pimp with a tragedy
She wanted, us to end, cause I censored her friends
She gave me one more chance and I her again
I seen her tears as she busted in, I said, “censored..
there’s a draft, shut the door censored and come on in!”

There’s no reason to believe that Jay would cheat on Beyonce, despite what Matthew Knowles wants us to believe. So I’m guessing this is would fall in the fiction category. (But if we were talking about Nas, I’m saying it’s 100% truth.)

Hey Papi

I was young and having money
Having honeys come to the crib
Thinkin’ they censored and they couldn’t get cab money from me
Some bad chicks didn’t get pass the bridge
I went to One Trump Plaza on their asses’
No room service just snacks and censored
Work with those Lil’ Debbies and when your done get ready
The chicks I was fiendin’ to smash
Let ’em lean on the cash
Will take ’em on long trips
Break ’em with long censored
There was no such thing as strong relationships
But I’m off that playa censored
I need a chick that practice top cheese
That still can by weed
And can give me some good head
And I’ll make her remind me, uh-huh

Aside from the hilarity of “top cheese,” I’m saying this is dead on. I wouldn’t doubt that Beyonce is insane in the brain department.

And there you have it. Or do you? Y’see upon my analysis of lyrics made me think of Destiny’s Child. I seem to recall them singing about getting their man to “pay bills” and being “independent women” But last time I checked they sounded like this;

Let me help you
Take off your shoes
Untie your shoe strings
Take off your cuff links
What you wanna eat boo?
Let me feed you
Let me run your bath water
Whatever you desire
I’ll supply ya
Sing you a song
Turn the game on
I’ll brush your hair
Help you put your do-rag on
Want a foot rub
Want a manicure
Baby I’m yours
I wanna cater 2 u boy
Let me cater 2 u
Cause baby this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby you blow me away
I got your slippers
your dinner
Your dessert and so much more
Anything you want,
Let me cater to you

Now I don’t recall hearing Jay-Z stance really softening over the years, but clearly “Beyonce & ‘Em®” have done a complete 180. It does appear obvious who’s got the pull in the relationship. And to that I’ve got to say;

Good business Jay! You broke her. She’s open. She’s whipped. Ever since the day I heard Beyonce complaining about her “bills” I’ve awaited this day.

Mankind thanks you.

Hip Hop

Shawn covers music and gets some tipping feedback.

Aaron mourns the loss of yet another fallen peer. He also mourns Bernard Hopkins (who comes into work all the time). Nick kind of mourns Wu-Tang.

Jeff keeps the memory of Warren Woo alive. He also won’t let me forget about “Craig David” despite my numerous plastic surgeries and therapy sessions.

I shouldn’t have to make you read Gloomchen, she’s amazing. This week is like a hole in one.

Tom got good news and bad. I’ll let him tell you.

Hair Metal

Phil give you a thorough look at A Tribe Called Quest.

Ian finally gives me a concert coming to my town that I actually want to see. He also sticks up for Michael Jackson. Sort of.

Five Albums That Got a Decent Amount of Play Last Week

1. Jay-Z – Unplugged
2. The Roots – The Roots Come Alive (disc 1)
3. De La Soul – Live At Tramps, NYC 1996
4. Foxy Brown – Broken Silence
5. Lil’ Kim – La Bella Mafia

Five Albums I Need To Cop

1. Buckshot & 9th Wonder – Chemistry
2. Sean Price – Monkey Barz
3. Coldplay – X & Y
4. Teegan & Sara – So Jealous
5. Bloc Party – Silent Alarm

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