InsidePulse’s Smackdown! Report

Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

Welcome everyone to IP’s Live Smackdown! Coverage. I am your host Mr. TNA Jeremy Lambert. Last week Eddie read Chapter 1 of your basic mexican soap opera, this week it’s once again storytime. Also JBL and Batista sign a contract stating that they will refund your money if there SummerSlam match sucks. Plus so much more. You can e-mail me through out the show at New stuff is in italics.

We recap the Eddie/Rey saga from The Bash on

I like Smackdowns opening video

WHO’S THAT COMIN OUT THE SKY?!?! Rey doesn’t come out the sky though he just does your basic entrance. Already in the ring is Christian with a talk show set up. Christian now has his own show titled “The Peep Show” Holy crap Rey is short compared to Christian. Christian asks “Rey, Who’s your daddy?” The New York Yankees. Christian recaps the bombshell. Rey wants a piece of Eddie”¦NOW! Christian introduces Eddie. Damnit every time I hear Eddie’s entrance I think my phone is ringing. Eddie doesn’t come out though, he is backstage. Eddie has a new t-shirt “I’m Your Papi” Red Sox fans are buying them as I type. Eddie is ready to tell chapter 2. Eddie starts reading but Rey keeps cutting him off. Rey is being very rude. Eddie doesn’t feel like reading now but by the end of the show, he will finish chapter 2. Christian attacks Rey from behind. Unprettier by Christian. THAT’S HOW HE ROLLS!!!!




We are back with the attack on Rey by Christian

Jillian Hall talks but damn look at that cleavage. She talks about her mole thingy and we get an un-needed close up. I want to see that thing fall off sooner than later. Jillians Hall works for 50 Cent errr MNM. She walks by Booker and Sharmell. “Tell me, I just didn’t see that.” Sadly we all did Booker.

MNM vs. Chris Benoit & Booker T: Let’s see if they blur Melina again. No, they just show a front view instead of a back. Tazz suggests that Booker T’s intro flames can burn the mole off Melina. Tazz is one funny guy on commentary. Booker and Nitro start. They trade hammerlocks and headlocks. Shoulder block and clothesline by Booker. Tag to Benoit. Benoit with chops and kicks. Snap suplex by Benoit for 2. Mercury tags in. Mercury and Benoit exchange chops. Tilt o whirl back breaker for 2 by Benoit. Scoop slam and a quick elbow drop by Benoit. Benoit goes for a sharpshooter but Nitro pulls Mercury to the outside. UPN pulls this match to”¦


We come back with Booker chopping Mercury. Mercury with a knee to the gut and Nitro tags in. Kick to the jaw followed by a neckbreaker by Booker. Benoit tags in. Release german suplex by Benoit. Mercury comes in and gets a German. The phone rings and I miss what happens next. MNM now has the advantage and they double team Benoit in the corner. Benoit tries fighting out but Nitro hits him with a drop toe hold. Benoit gets rope choked and then slapped by Melina. Neck breaker by Mercury and he covers until Booker breaks it at 2. Nitro puts Benoit in a chin lock. Benoit arm drags out. German suplex for Nitro. Mercury tags in and grabs Benoit by the leg. Enzuguri by Benoit and he tags in Booker. Booker hits everything that moves. Book End for Mercury and he cover for 2 as Nitro breaks it up. Benoit and Nitro go to the outside where Benoit puts him in the Crossface. Flapjack and Spin-A-Roonie by Booker. He’s going for the scissors kick but Melina grabs his leg. The cats fight inside and outside the ring. Mercury rolls up Booker and gravs the ropes for the win.
Winners- MNM

Raw Rebound: It’s once again all about Jericho and Cena. Unless they show the Shawn Michaels bit tonight, SD isn’t cool.




The Divas remind us that SummerSlam is 3 weeks away

Theodore Long meets up with Christian backstage. Theodore says Christian vs. Rey is tonights Main Event. Remember when Christian said “Hey Teddy, I just signed a petition to get you fired”? What happened to that storyline? That’s WWE booking for you

We recap JBL vs. The Undertaker from last week. JBL won thanks to an RKO from Orton incase you missed it.

Contract Signing: Theodore is out first and he has the contract in hand. UPN makes us wait for the singing by going to”¦


We are back with Josh Matthews interviewing Randy Orton backstage. Orton is going to make his (cruel) intention clear to the Undertaker tonight

Theodore introduces JBL. Jordan comes out with JBL, which means if a fight breaks out (which it most likely will) Jordan is the goat. Batista is introduced. Where was he last week? That’s what I want to know. Batista rips the horns off JBLs limo. Batista says SummerSlam starts right now. No, according to the Divas washing the car, it starts in 3 weeks. They exchange threats. It’s the usual from JBL. Wrestling God, Delivers on Guarantees, Rich, ect”¦ Batista accuses JBL of doing drugs. I want JBL to be tested for steroids RIGHT NOW! Batista calls JBL a wrestling fraud. Theodore does a crappy job of trying to keep the peace. JBL spells Batista for Batista. “It starts with a B-A-T” That spells bat according to spell checker. Ooooo there’s a stipulation to the match at SummerSlam. I’m telling you “Refund Match” If Ross Williams gives this match a C or lower, I want a refund. JBL makes the match a No Holds Barred Match. That’s good, because neither man knows a hold. Hmmmm, no fight at this signing, that’s fresh booking.


Heidenreich puts on make up


We run down the SummerSlam card:

*JBL vs. Batista in a No Holds Barred match for the World Title
*John Cena vs. Chris Jericho for the WWE Title
*Matt Hardy vs. Edge
*Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Here comes Road Warriors2. They squash 2 jobbers as I said they would.
Winners- Road Warriors 2

WWE Rewind: It’s the attack on Rey by Christian that we have seen 3 times now


We are back and here comes Randy Orton. Orton talks about WrestleMania 21 and how fate made him lose the match. Fate put him on Smackdown via the draft lottery. I’ve heard of this fate, it’s called The Booking Team. Undertaker is a legend, Orton is a legend killer. Orton is going to take away everything possible from the Undertaker. “I Spit in the face of the Undertakers legacy.” Carlito spits in your face for stealing his gimmick, that’s not cool. Orton challenges Taker at SummerSlam and he wants an answer NOW! Takers music plays but he doesn’t come out, it’s just a voice over. Orton will Rest”¦In”¦Peace at SummerSlam.


THE BOOGEYMAN IS COMING!!! Didn’t he just break both of his legs or something? Must have been a tight closet space

A limo pulls up outside and Eddie greets the person inside. The person inside is a hott mamacita. She has to do with Chapter 2 of the story.

Rey Mysterio vs. Christian: Rey attacks Christian on the apron. He springboard dropkicks Christian off the apron to the outside. Rey planchas onto Christian. The fight goes back inside the ring where Christian gets the upper hand. Wheel kick by Rey and he starts pounding on Christian. Springboard seated senton by Rey and he covers for 2. Out comes Eddie and the Mamacita.


During the break, Rey went for the 619 but missed. Christian is now choking Rey in the corner. Abdominal stretch by Christian. Christian goes for a suplex but Rey turns it into a small package for 2. Rey tries fighting back but Christian aint havin that. Headbutts by Christian. Abdominal lock by Christian. Gotta love these rest holds. Rey fights out and hits a swinging neck breaker. Rey goes for the springboard bulldog but Christian hangs him up of the ropes. Christian knocks Rey to the outside. Christian shoves Rey into the steps. Rey goes for another springboard seated senton but Chris hits him with a dropkick. Christian covers twice for 2. Another rest hold by Christian. He releases and stomps on the ribs of Rey. Springboard cross body by Rey. His offense doesn’t last long as Christian regains control. Another abdominal lock by Christian. Christian goes for a firemans carry gut buster but Rey turns it into a roll up. Running dropkick by Rey. Hurricanrana and a cover for 2 by Rey. Rey tries another springboard cross body but Christian ducks. UPN ducks into”¦


We are back and Rey hits a DDT. Knee to the gut by Christian. Christian goes for the Unprettier but Rey shoves him into the 619 position. Rey hits the 619 followed by the West Coast Pop for the win. Wow, that was quick after the commercial.
Winner- Rey Mysterio

Eddie introduces Anna to Rey. Anna is going to help Eddie finish Chapter 2. Eddie gives Rey a choice. Rey can read chapter 2 or Eddie will read chapter 2. Rey can’t read so Eddie does it. The courts say Eddie is Dominics legal father. He has custody papers to prove it. If Rey can convince Eddie that he loves Dominic then Eddie may let Rey keep him. Give him anything he wants, that always proves true love. Dominics first words were “dad” and they were aimed at Rey. Rey taught Dominic how to ride a bike. Rey took Dominic to the hospital when he broke his arm. How did he break his arm? Maybe Rey wasn’t watching him. That’s bad parenting. The promise was, Rey was going to tell Dominic that Eddie was his father, when he was old enough. Eddie looks like he’s going to cry. Rey begs Eddie not to hurt Dominic anymore. Anna is Eddie attorney. Anna told Eddie that Rey would try to convince Eddie that Dominic is Reys son. Rey isn’t a good parent. Eddie has 3, 3, 3 girls that he tells the truth to everyday, because Eddie doesn’t lie. Next week, Dominic will legally be Eddie’s son next week. Chapter 3 is next week.

Show End

Thanks for joining me. Read At Ringside tomorrow as I prove that I know Shawn Michaels. CyA