TNA At Ringside: I Know Shawn Michaels

Welcome back to ringside everyone. Last week I screwed up on the html (on purpose I might add) and not one person e-mailed me saying anything. Patrick over in sports does an entire April Fools column and it’s called his best column ever. I try to throw you off with bad html and I get nothing. Oh Ya, Peter Forsberg signed with the Flyers. What has this world come to?

7/29 Impact Recap

Hollyric has you covered has usual.

SABUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Before I get started let me state, I haven’t had much time to type this column this week, so if it sucks, blame Canada.

So Sabu returned to TNA last week. Good? Sure. Bad? Sure. This is good because Sabu is one of those well-known names. People know Sabu as “Homicidal, Genocidal, and Suicidal.” Sabu adds that hardcore element that TNA seems to be shooting for in their main event system right now. This is bad because he is Sabu. What does Sabu do better than everyone not named Jeff Hardy? Screw up spots. Whether he slips, misses, or just falls; he finds a way to screw up most of his spots.

I like Sabu. I thought he was cool in ECW. He along with Rob Van Dam made for an awesome tag team. I don’t mind him in TNA for the time being. Plus him and Raven make for one diabolical tag team.

I Met Shawn Michaels

Yes, this is the main part of this week column. I told you I had no free time this week. Send your hate mail to Double M for forcing me to do the Smackdown Report (ok, so I volunteered)

Here’s a little transcript of a chat I had with a friend. Yes, I actually know and like this kid. Quick story, my friend (RAWisJericho1316) googled my name for no reason. He discovered that….

RAWisJericho1316: lol youre also in the Legion of Christ
AMPLine4Life: I know Shawn Michaels
BMOC 420: !?
AMPLine4Life: we are Christ Buddies
BMOC 420: !?!?!?!?
RAWisJericho1316: jesus look what else you do
RAWisJericho1316: We are excited to announce that Jeremy Lambert has joined the Aqua Safaris team. Jeremy first started diving in 1994 off the coast of Okinawa, Japan during his tour with the Marine Corp.
BMOC 420: WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS JAY?
AMPLine4Life: ya
BMOC 420: YOU KNOW HIM?
BMOC 420: DEFINE KNOW
AMPLine4Life: ate dinner at his house
BMOC 420: FSDMNKHFDJSJDFSFDFD
BMOC 420: DFDSHBFBSDFHBDSHBFDHSBFHSBDHFBHSDBFH
BMOC 420: JSAHJSHJDSHAJHSDHJSAHDJSAHDJSAHNDJHBDHSABSA
BMOC 420: YOU ATE FOOD WITH SHAWN MICHAELS?
BMOC 420: SHKSDJSDFJI
BMOC 420: WHAT DID HE EAT??
Underage sell: tacOs
Underage sell: ;x
BMOC 420: SHUTUPYOU
Underage sell: .
AMPLine4Life: we had steak
BMOC 420: !!!!!!
BMOC 420: DOES HE USE BBQ SAUCE?
BMOC 420: I AAAAAAAAALWAYS WONDERED THAT
AMPLine4Life: dont all texans?
BMOC 420: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BMOC 420: A1?????
RAWisJericho1316: Jay
Underage sell: whats his wifeY look like
BMOC 420: JAY YOU BETTER NOT BE LYING
RAWisJericho1316: A1 isn’t BBQ sauce?
RAWisJericho1316: but anyway
RAWisJericho1316: Jay
AMPLine4Life: his wife is hott
Underage sell: :]
BMOC 420: YEAH SHE IS
BMOC 420: HEY WHAT WAS HE WEARING
RAWisJericho1316: W: Dustin Hermanson (3-1) L: Brian Fuentes (0-2) S: Jeremy Lambert (1)
AMPLine4Life: !
AMPLine4Life: Hermanson is in the big leagues
RAWisJericho1316: as STL beat Seattle
RAWisJericho1316: so is fuenteS
Underage sell: daisy fuenteS?
Underage sell: šŸ˜®
AMPLine4Life: WWE shirt and basketball shorts Jay
BMOC 420: dude wtf
RAWisJericho1316: LAMBERT UNIVERSITY!
RAWisJericho1316: i wanna go there
BMOC 420: I’d give my house to eat dinner at his one night
AMPLine4Life: lol
BMOC 420: he’s my childhood hero
BMOC 420: i literally worshipped him
Underage sell: id give my left nut
Underage sell: to sleep with melina
Underage sell: =-O
BMOC 420: anyways amp
AMPLine4Life: ya
BMOC 420: d00d
Underage sell: what was his wifeY dressed in
Underage sell: ;x
BMOC 420: what’d you talk about
BMOC 420: and wtf
Underage sell: stfu
BMOC 420: why wasnt i told this
RAWisJericho1316: and you’re also a neuropharmacologgist at the University of Dunee in Scotland
BMOC 420: oh and when was this
OnlineHost: Underage sell’s participation in this chat room has been suspended by the room owner.
Underage sell has left the room.
Underage sell has entered the room.
Underage sell: .
RAWisJericho1316: *Dundee
RAWisJericho1316: AND You made All State Cross Country
Underage sell: chroos
RAWisJericho1316: god damn youre good at life, jay
Underage sell: whatcha lastname
Underage sell: :]?
AMPLine4Life: Jay, when i was in the middle of switching sns
AMPLine4Life: from Avs to this one
AMPLine4Life: thats when I joined and met him
BMOC 420: joined?
AMPLine4Life: the church
BMOC 420: Holy shit
BMOC 420: wait
BMOC 420: so like he was just there
BMOC 420: at church
BMOC 420: and you approached him
BMOC 420: !?
BMOC 420: you ARE my hero
AMPLine4Life: thanks
BMOC 420: anyways did you guys talk about wrestling
AMPLine4Life: ya
BMOC 420: what’d he say!?!?!
AMPLine4Life: HHH gives good head
BMOC 420: heh
BMOC 420: really
BMOC 420: what’d he say
BMOC 420: DID KEVIN NASH CALL WHEN YOU WERE THERE?
AMPLine4Life: nah Nash gets injured just picking up the phone
BMOC 420: wait..
BMOC 420: true
BMOC 420: dude wait you live in SA?
BMOC 420: San Ant
AMPLine4Life: lived
BMOC 420: .kjshkljsad
BMOC 420: YOU LEFT?
BMOC 420: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
AMPLine4Life: ya i had to move with my parents
BMOC 420: YOU HAD THE OPPORTUNITY
BMOC 420: TO BE BUDS WITH HBK
BMOC 420: AND YOU LEFT!?
BMOC 420: MKFHKDJFHKDS
BMOC 420: D00D
BMOC 420: W
AMPLine4Life: i didnt really have a choice
BMOC 420: T
BMOC 420: F
BMOC 420: Fine but admit
BMOC 420: you cried
AMPLine4Life: of course
BMOC 420: i woulda
BMOC 420: and hugged him
BMOC 420: werent you a big HBK fan once too?
AMPLine4Life: once?
AMPLine4Life: ive always been an HBK fan
AMPLine4Life: i told him that him vs Hart at WM12 was the reason i started watching wrestling consistantly
AMPLine4Life: but ya Jay, it was pretty cool
BMOC 420: OH SHIT
BMOC 420: boo

For the record:

*I have never met Shawn Michaels personally, I have seen him after shows though in the parking lot
*HBK vs. Hart at WM12 was the reason I got into wrestling

The lesson is: when you make a joke about something and somebody takes it serious, play along.

The E-Mail Bag

How is it that Chris Benoit went from beating Triple H and ShawnMichaels at WrestleMania 20 to losing at the Bash to Orlando Jordan andhis nappy ass hair?

It’s the Ultimate Warrior. Benoit was an avid believer in Warrior’s destrucity pre-WMXX. Afterwards, Benoit let the fame go to his head. Drugs, money, a night of wild sex with Linda McMahon. Benoit reveled in all of it. Then came his downfall. This is Benoit’s punishment for turning his back on destrucity, and the Warrior. Somewhere the Warrior sheds a tear…because the gas station won’t accept food stamps…

-AngryChair

If you say so

Lambert,

Benn reading your column for a while now, probably not as long as many. I don’t get many opportunities to see TNA, but you keep me updated on what I need to know, so I appreciate it.

Your weekly question this week was “How is it that Chris Benoit went from beating Triple H and Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 20 to losing at the Bash to Orlando Jordan and his nappy ass hair?” and I am going to give a shot at answering it.

The reason Benoit did a complete 180 degree turn is because Vince respects him, but doesn’t think he will draw as a champion or in the main event. Wrestle Mania is about sending the fans home happy. Everyone wanted Benoit to finally win the World Title, and they got it. Benoit can lose every night and still be a future legend. The difference between Benoit and say HHH is that Benoit will put over young, new talent even if they have nappy ass hair like Orlando Jordan. Benoit is a company guy and does what he is asked. I challenge Vince to put the belt on Benoit and have him feud with Shelton, Angle, Michaels, and Hass (if they get the good sense to hire him back ever). See how many people who actually want wrestling will return to watching for actual wreslting matches, not crap.

Hope you liked the response. Keep up the good work.

Thanks!

-Bonto

Ya, TNA gives you real wrestling. Watch TNA. Thanks

Quote Of The Week

“Wanna see how fast I can count? 123” -Chris Jericho

“Now that’s cool” -Carlito

I thought it was funny. That’s the over looked funny quote thanks to Michaels on Raw

The End

No C-Cup or Plugs this week because I told you, no time. Hit me with some feedback at AMPLine4Life@aol.com and join me next time At Ringside.

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