[NFL] Pancakes In the Age of Enlightenment- Soon You'll Have a Mighty Hump

Archive

LEADING OFF

So yeah last week I said the Eagles should release Terrell Owens. I stand by that. The reason isn’t because the fans don’t like him, or because his teammates don’t like him, or because he’s a big, scary black man.

The reason they should release him is because f**k him, that’s why, him and his agent.

Let’s start with the superagent, Drew Rosenhaus. What Rosenhaus in effect has tried to do this offseason is start a labor association comprised of his own clients, and threatened to have the group he represents go on strike if their employers don’t renegotiate their contracts. How’s that working out for him? Javon Walker is in camp, Grady Jackson is in camp, Terrell Owens is in camp. So basically all of his posturing has amounted to absolutely nothing.

Rosenhaus is learning that you don’t dick around with the NFL. When you threaten to go to war with one team or one ownership group in the league, you are going to war with the whole league. You don’t go to war with the NFL, because you will lose.

Remember, this is the league that just a few years ago made VINCE MCMAHON of all people run away after one year with his tail between his legs like a little bitch, never to be heard from again in the world of competitive sport. Vince McMahon, Mr. Kiss My Ass Club, Mr. Grapefruits, Mr. No Chance In Hell, crushed like a bug in one year’s time. This is the league that somehow managed to get out of a very serious antitrust suit filed by the USFL, one of whose owners was a guy named Donald Trump, in the mid 80s paying no more than a $3 penalty. Its commissioner immediately preceding the current commissioner was Pete Rozelle, the man who invented American professional sports as we know it.

And Rosenhaus thought he was going to pull off a small scale strike on this league? He obviously forgot that this is also the league that crushed its players union 20 years ago in the 1987 strike, from which the NFLPA has still not recovered, and is now the only pro sports league that can safely use the “You’ll get nothing and like it” negotiating tactic. The league dealt with Rosenhaus like the annoyance that he was/is. They called his bluff, and exposed him as a wannabe baller/shot caller who is all talk and no walk. This is the beginning of the end for that douchebag. Already, he has been fired this week by one of his prize 06 free agents, Broncos CB Lenny Walls.

The NFL is the Death Star of pro sports leagues. It is a machine far, far bigger than any one player and any one agent. Its owners are not free market capitalists, they are comrades in a communist monolith where all 33 owners are in it together and share revenue. Lots and lots and lots of revenue, more than any other pro sports league in the world. They all stay in line with one another for the most part, because all the owners realize that they have made their league the most successful in the world by sticking together, so that is exactly what they do. The league has bitch slapped Rosenhaus this summer, and it will be some time before anyone tries to pull this shit again.

As for Owens, last I checked, since he came into the league, by my count nine out of the nine Super Bowl Champion teams have somehow managed to do pretty well for themselves without having him on their roster. Nineteen out of 20 Super Bowl participants somehow managed. You could even say 20 out of 20 because TO didn’t play in the Eagles’ playoff victories over Minnesota and Atlanta last year.

Owens is going to be 32 this season, and was seriously injured last year. Ten guys had more receiving yards than he did last season, among them such luminaries as Drew Bennett and Donald Driver. Granted, that is because he played less games, but in the NFL, games played is as important a stat as any. He’s a bad teammate and the Eagles rolled through the NFC playoffs last year without him. He does not warrant all the drama he brings and attention he demands. This has nothing to do with the fans liking him or not liking him, it has everything to do with winning the Super Bowl. Right now I think the Eagles have a better chance of achieving that without him and his bullshit than they do with him and it.

NFC EAST
Terrell Owens is in camp, and, somewhat surprisingly, has largely been keeping to himself, and seemingly is making every effort to hide from the limelight. He has brought agent Drew Rosenhaus with him to camp to field the barrage of media attention regarding his situation.

Owens’ withdrawn behavior may not be the worst-case scenario, but it has caused friction between him and some teammates. Defensive end Hugh Douglas was said to have approached Owens earlier this week in an attempt to welcome him to camp and speak to him, but Owens refused to acknowledge him. Douglas told the Philadelphia Inquirer regarding the incident, “I was just trying to be nice. He’s in a situation where he’s trying to get something done, so he’s probably a little upset. In a situation like that, I think the best thing to do is give him some space and let him work it out.” Douglas was also heard to remark the following while stretching before practice one morning, “I want to renegotiate for a package of Milk Duds and a box of crackers. And if I don’t get it, I’m leaving camp.”

While one important piece of Philly’s offense is in camp, another is not. RB Brian Westbrook, who signed a one year contract with the team this summer, is holding out for want of a long term contract with guaranteed money. With Westbrook absent from camp, Correll Buckhalter has been practicing with the first team.

New Giants WR Plaxico Burress has been living up to his “Plexiglass” nickname in camp so far, seemingly getting hurt every day. Burress hyperextended his knee in the first practice of camp, and now is struggling with a strained hip flexor muscle. Actually, Plexiglass is kind of almost unbreakable, so that’s really not a good nickname for him.

The Giants are looking for big things out of MLB Antonio Pierce. The 27 year old free agent signing from the Redskins is fast and athletic, and has been behaving like the leader of the defense during the offseason program. Coupled with SLB Carlos Emmons, who is healthy after playing hurt last year, the Giants should be in good shape on their second line of defense this year.

Cowboys G Larry Allen was deemed as being no longer too fat to practice by coach Bill Parcells, and is back on the field in Oxnard, CA. Allen has started 154 games on the O line for the Cowboys, including 32 consecutive games in 03 and 04, and is a multiple time Pro Bowler. Yet he has Bill Parcells, of all people, telling him he is too fat. That is kind of like having John Waters tell you that you are too gay.

Former Browns CB Anthony Henry has made a big impression on Parcells in training camp. Tuna sang the praises the free agent signee to the Dallas Morning News saying, “Anthony Henry is better than anyone we’ve had here since I’ve been here.” Wow, OK then. Henry broke into the NFL in a big way with 10 interceptions for the Browns in 2001. He has had only 7 in three seasons combined since then, though. He should start at corner opposite third year player Terence Newman, who was the fifth overall pick in the 2003 draft but has yet to come close to justifying that lofty status.

The Redskins signed both of their first round draft choices this week. QB Jason Campbell and CB Carlos Rogers both inked 5 year deals. Rogers got $11.26 million in guaranteed money, and Campbell got $5.3 million. If it’s another lean year in DC, and it looks like it might be, expect to see Campbell get a look as the starting QB before the season is over.

The Skins showed a lot of faith in CB Shawn Springs when they let his secondary running mate Fred Smoot leave for Minnesota this offseason. The 30 year old Springs, who had a very promising start to his career before a string of miserable seasons in Seattle, resurrected his career in his first season in Washington in 2004. He will get the tough assignments this year as the #1 corner opposite either Rogers or Walt Harris this season. The team really needs him to prove to be a shutdown corner this year, as Rogers will be learning, Harris is aging and on the downside of his career, and the safeties are either mediocre (Matt Bowen) or looking at a possible felony conviction (Sean Taylor).

NFC NORTH
The seventh player taken in the 05 draft, Vikings WR Troy Williamson, signed after a three day holdout and is now in camp. Williamson signed a 5 year deal and received $13.3 million in guaranteed money. Williamson is going to have to earn his playing time though, as Nate Burleson, Marcus Robinson, Travis Taylor, and Kelly Campbell are all ahead of him on the depth chart at this point in time.

Vikings coach Mike Tice has gone ahead and predicted that his RB, Michael Bennett, will have an 1800 yard season this year. In the last two seasons, the oft-injured Bennett has played 18 games, while missing 14 with injuries. His career best season to this point came in his sophomore year of 2002, when he ran for 1296 yards.

Now that WR Javon Walker and DT Grady Jackson have caved on their demands for a new contract and have both reported on time (although Jackson was recently placed on the too fat to practice list), and rookie QB Aaron Rodgers has signed and is in camp, the Packer’s lone high profile camp holdout is TE Bubba Franks. Franks was given the transition tag in the offseason, but refused to sign the tender offer, wanting a long term deal. Franks caught 7 TD passes for the Packers last year, and is one of Brett Favre’s favorite red zone targets. Franks has some leverage because his backup, David Martin, is not close to being the same caliber of player that Franks is.

Another Packer who threatened to hold out but didn’t is the unfortunately named DT Cletidus Hunt. Hunt’s production has declined each of the last three seasons, and he has the reputation of being a lazy player. The fact that sophomore tackle Cullen Jenkins, a hard charger who had a good rookie year, will be challenging for a starting job had a lot to do with Hunt deciding to report to camp.

The Lions hitched their wagon to team president Matt Millen through 2010 this week. Millen was in the final year of a 5 year contract that began when he took over the team in 2001. Under Millen, the team has a cumulative record of 16-48. The Lions went 2-14 in Millen’s first year, and have yet to win more than six games in a season since then. By way of comparison, the Carolina Panthers went 1-15 in 2001, but reached the Super Bowl following the 2003 season.

A problem, albeit a nice one to have for Lions coach Steve Mariucci is figuring out a way to utilize his three young talented WRs Roy Williams, Mike Williams, and Charles Rogers. This will be difficult because Mariucci’s offense features a lot of formations where there are only 2 wideouts, and a fullback. Mariucci does not want to sacrifice the strong running game the team found late last year, led by RB Kevin Jones, for the sake of putting three receivers on the field. Having Jones line up without a fullback blocking for him could hurt that running game.

The Bears got some very bad news when they learned CB Jerry Azumah will miss three to four weeks due to arthroscopic hip surgery. The Bears are very thin at the corner position, and if Azumah is not healty, will start the young duo of sophomore Nathan Vasher and third year player Charles Tillman.

More bad news out of Bear camp, as coach Lovie Smith went to the media this week pleading for rookie RB Cedric Benson to report to camp. Benson’s 11 day holdout is the longest Bears rookie holdout since another highly touted running back, Curtis Enis, in 1998. Given the Bears’ recent history of misadventures with drafting running backs, Benson’s holdout does not bode well for the future.

This Spot Reserved for Cedric Benson

NFC SOUTH
The Falcons have arrived in Tokyo for Saturday night’s exhibition season opener against the Colts. Local STD clinics have been alerted and emergency shipments of herpes medication have been ordered. Expect the starters to play even less than starters would normally play in the first of five exhibition games. The game will be billed as Peyton Manning vs. Michael Vick. In reality, expect the starters to play even less than starters would normally play in the first of five exhibition games. the artificial surface at the Tokyo Dome is old school, asphalt, knee shredding turf, like the kind they used to have at the Vet in Philly. It’s roughly like playing football on your bathroom floor. So expect both coaches to be very careful with the use of their stars.

WR Peerless Price realizes his career in Atlanta and possibly the NFL is on the line this training camp, and thus far he has responded. Price has been working hard in practice, running his routes more precisely than in the past and putting more effort into blocking. Price is in competition with Michael Jenkins for a starting flanker position, and if he does not win the starting job he likely will be released.


Fighting for his NFL Life

One of the guys you heard a lot about as a darkhorse pick in April was former Florida St. QB Adrian McPherson. McPherson is 6-3 218, and has all the physical tools, but his college career was cut short by a gambling incident at FSU. So far, it doesn’t look like the Saints have struck gold by taking a flyer on him in the 5th round. He has struggled mightily with accuracy in camp thus far, and with his command of the offense. McPherson is in competition with former Texas Tech QB Kliff Kingsbury for the #3 QB job, and thus far neither has been impressive.

A guy who the Saints hope is going to make a big impact on their defense is FS Dwight Smith. Smith was signed as a free agent this offseason from Tampa Bay. He combines good speed with strong tackling ability, and the Saints have plans to use him in a variety of roles from various positions on the field. His presence and athleticism should bring a significant improvement to the Saints’ secondary this season.

New acquisition Rod Gardner could have an edge on sophomore WR Keary Colbert in their competition for the Panthers’ second starting wideout job. Colbert is a good possession receiver, and earned the respect of the coaching staff last year. He lacks height though, and the other starting wideout, Steve Smith, is also small. That means that the 6-2 Gardner gives the team an option similar to the one departed Muhsin Muhammad gave them, a long receiver who can go deep. Gardner drops a lot of balls though, something Colbert does not do.

The Panthers have to feel good about their cornerback situation. One corner, Chris Gamble, had six picks as a rookie last year, and has potential to be a great one. At the other corner, free agent signee Ken Lucas enters his fifth season looking poised to break through to the level of being among the elite at his position. He had six interceptions last year with the Seahawks, and broke up 21 passes, which is a lot.

The Bucs are having big problems finding a kicker. Both of the kickers competing for the job, Matt Bryant and Todd France, have been shanking balls all over the place in special teams drills. Special teams coach Richard Bisaccia told the Tampa Tribune, “We had three sudden-change drills today and we made one of three, so I’m not happy with it at all. We won’t win that way, and they won’t win the job that way.” Bucs coach Jon Gruden was said to want to draft Ohio St. kicker Mike Nugent this April, but that didn’t happen.

The Bucs’ run defense will get a boost this year from a healthy DT Anthony “Booger” McFarland. McFarland missed much of the 04 season with a torn triceps muscle, but he has fully recovered and the Bucs feel very good about having him stuffing the run this year. When healthy, McFarland plays with quickness and makes plays on the line of scrimmage, along with being adept at pursuing plays to the outside.

NFC WEST

The Seahawks have an interesting camp drill for their quarterbacks. They play a form of dodgeball where the quarterback stands in the pocket, looking to throw a pass. The other quarterbacks then throw dodge balls at the QB, and the QB’s job is to avoid them as if they were pass rushers.

LB Jamie Sharper, a free agent signee from Houston, will be charged with the responsibility of replacing longtime defensive anchor Chad Brown on the Hawks’ defense this season. Sharper is a strong side linebacker whose strong point is getting to the ball carrier and bringing him down. The Seahawks were plagued by poor tackling last season, and hope Sharper will help remedy that.

Rams first round draft pick Alex Barron is one of nine 05 first rounders that remains unsigned. The Rams had planned on Barron, the 19th player picked in the draft, being their starting right tackle this season. Those plans, at least for the time being, have been changed. Blaine Saipaia is now penciled in to be the starter at the opening of the season. Saipaia is inexperienced and is more of a guard than a tackle.

Torry Holt has been handled with care this training camp due to tightness in his back. Coach Mike Martz says there is no cause for alarm though, as Holt played through this injury last year, and will again this year.

Cardinals coach Dennis Green had some interesting comments recently about his new starting QB, Kurt Warner. “When Kurt was at his best in St. Louis, it was a team that didn’t expect him to make all the plays. It was a team that expected everybody to do their job.. . . When you play football, it’s 11 guys counting on each other.” The Cardinals feel that the key to whether or not Warner will succeed in Arizona will be their ability to protect him. If the line can hold up and give him time, he will be a good quarterback. If not, then there’s a problem.


A standing Warner is a good thing for the Cards

So how’s that O-line looking in Arizona? The interior line is an area of concern. C Alex Stepanovich has been known to struggle against a bull rush. LG Reggie Wells is a good pass blocker, but not so good as a run blocker, which of course means the team may need to pass more, which means more chances for Warner to get knocked around. RG Jeremy Bridges is seen as more of an adequate backup than he is suited for the starting role he finds himself in, same with RT Oliver Ross. The man protecting Warner’s blind side, LT Leonard Davis, was the 2nd overall pick in the 2001 draft. While he hasn’t lived up to expectations, he is still pretty good. Last year, the team allowed 39 sacks, a little more than 2 a game.

Niners RB Kevin Barlow didn’t score himself any points in his competition for the starting RB job in San Francisco when he left practice the first day of camp suffering from heat exhaustion. Barlow was said to have been working on his endurance and conditioning this offseason. Barlow who ran for only 822 yards last season, is trying to fend off rookie Frank Gore, who is challenging for the job.

2 time Pro Bowl C Jeremy Newberry, who missed all of the 04 season with a knee injury, is working hard to make his return to the Niners. The 29 year old Newberry has had three operations on his knee, and recently underwent an arthroscopic procedure that he hopes will tide the knee over until he can have more extensive surgery after the season. Newberry has said that his doctors have given the knee about a 50-50 chance of holding up for the season.

AFC EAST
The Patriots have their best defensive player, Richard Seymour, back in camp. The two time Pro Bowl DT reached and agreement with the team that will pay him about $1.2 million more than he was scheduled to make this season.

Tom Brady urged the Patriots to take a chance on his former Michigan teammate, WR David Terrell, after he was released by the Bears this offseason. Pats coach Bill Belichick has been extremely happy with the attitude and work ethic displayed by the former first round draft pick since coming to the team. “He is in good condition and can kind of go all day”, Belichick said of Terrell, “So far, I think he’s certainly made a lot of progress, and we’ll see how that continues to develop.” In other news, I have to wrap this column up soon or I will be late for my ski trip in Hell.

The Jets continue to play footsy with free agent CB Ty Law. The latest story is that the team met with his agent Wednesday night, apparently to discuss how much green will be required to put Law in the Gotham Green.

Camp has thus far presented a good news/bad news scenario for two important additions to the Jets offense. The good news is TE Doug Jolley has looked good, and the Jets think he will force defenses to direct some of their pass coverage between the hashmarks. The bad news is that newly signed WR Lavareneus Coles has struggled with a foot injury. He left practice Tuesday afternoon, apparently experiencing pain in that area.

New Bills starting QB JP Losman is a 180 degree turn from the man he replaces, Drew Bledsoe. While Bledsoe was a statuesque pocket passer, Losman is an athlete who will make plays with his legs. To account for this, coach Mike Mullarkey will have to dust off some plays he used when Kordell Stewart was his quarterback in Pittsburgh. Of course, a QB’s job is to throw, not run, and the Bills hope that Losman can remain patient and allow receivers Eric Moulds and Lee Evans to get open and make plays, rather than seeking to run too soon. Losman has shown a tendency in the past to abandon a play and take off, and that won’t lead to him being healthy or successful.

The Bills have been scrimmaging against the Green Bay Packers at the Packers’ camp this week. Teams practicing against each other in training camp became popular in the 90s, but you hardly ever see it anymore. The practices sometimes results in too many fights, and angry play which can lead to injuries.

Every report out of Dolphins camp regarding Ricky Williams says that he looks great. His physical condition is good, his instincts are good, and there is no reason at this point not to think that he is going to make a big contribution to the Dolphins this season. Keep in mind though, that he will be suspended for the first four games of the year, paying the penalty for his reefer madness.


Looking Good

The Dolphins signed former Titans safety Lance Schulters this past weekend. Schulters will immediately step into the starting free safety position. Schulters had the best season of his career in 2002, picking off six passes. Since then though, he has yet to garner an interception. He is solid in run support though.

AFC NORTH

Those of you who rode the Bus to a great fantasy season last year may be tempted to see if he has any more mileage left in him. One sign that that might be the case came this week when Steelers starting RB Duce Staley left practice with knee pain. Staley’s knee is definitely cranky, and his status will be monitored from week to week. He is far from a sure bet to stay healthy the entire season.

Pittsburgh nose tackle Casey Hampton appears to be recovering well from the torn ACL that sidelined him for most of last season. He has used the rehab time to get himself in better physical condition, and is lighter and quicker than he was before. Hampton, when healthy, is an elite player at his position, tying up two blockers at a time so that the Steelers linebackers are free to make plays.

Ravens rookie DE Dan Cody suffered a torn ACL in practice this week, and will be out for the season. The second round draft pick from Oklahoma was an inspirational story, as he had almost quit football while at Oklahoma due to his struggle with clinical depression. The Ravens had hoped for him to have a big year as a pass rushing specialist. With Cody out for the year, the team may now be interested in bringing back LB Peter Boulware, who they released in May.

A player to watch this year could be new Ravens LB Tommy Polley. Polley was a second round pick of the Rams in 2001, and while he was a starter for much of that time, he didn’t play up to expectations. He plays with a lot of speed, and with the star players that will be around him on the Baltimore defense, he could be able to take his game to the next level this year.

The Bengals negotiations with their first round pick, LB David Pollack, are going very badly. Pollack has taken his ball and gone home to Snellville, Georgia, waiting for the Bengals to offer him a deal that will bring him into camp. Pollack is a very intelligent player who the Bengals had projected to start at outside linebacker this year. His backup, Marcus Wilkins, is the polar opposite type of player. He is a an outstanding athlete, who plays with reckless abandon that has bad results at times.

One Bengal rookie who is in camp and making a big impression is WR Chris Henry. The third round pick out of West Virginia, who stands a towering 6-4, has shown great hands, excellent speed, and has been running crisp routes in practice. He looks like he certainly can make a contribution this season.

Count Browns WR Braylon Edwards, the third pick in the draft, among the nine remaining first rounders who are not signed and in camp. Edwards agent is Lamont Smith. Lamont Smith represented Barry Sanders when he was a rookie in 1989. Sanders held out until days before the first game of the season, and he still went on to have a pretty OK career, I would say. But then some players don’t respond so well, Browns QB Trent Dilfer told the AP regarding his holdout after being the sixth overall pick in 1994, “It was a wonderful decision financially and a horrible decision football-wise. If I had to go back to do it all over again, I’d have sacrificed the $2 million I made to be a better football player my first couple years.”


A Contract Has Been Just Out of Reach

The Browns are switching to a 3-4 defense this season under new coach Romeo Crennel, and that has meant a position change for former DE Kenard Lang. Lang has been the Browns top pass rusher the last few seasons playing as a defensive end. To facilitate the change to linebacker, he has reported to camp 20 pounds lighter, and by all accounts the nine year veteran has shown he can make the transition.

AFC SOUTH
Don’t bet on the Colts being too happy with their trip to Japan. WR Brandon Stokley suffered a separated shoulder after falling on the rock hard Tokyo Dome Astroturf during a practice. He now may not be available for the start of the season. Stokley had 1077 receiving yards last year and 10 TDs. If he cannot go in the opener, Troy Walters would step in as the slot receiver. Walters is 5-7 and most of his NFL experience has come as a kick returner. Stokley’s shoulder is not the only arm joint the Colts are worried about. DE Dwight Freeney is also recovering from offseason shoulder surgery, and has not yet been cleared to practice.

Edgerrin James went to Japan after all. The running back who had said that closest he was going to get to Tokyo was Benihana accompanied the team on its 11 hour flight. James does not like to fly, and was squeamish about being on a plane for such a long period of time. James still had dining plans for the trip though, telling the Indianapolis Star Tribune, “I might go to the original Benihana.”

Last year, Jaguars WR Reggie Williams was the ninth overall pick in the draft. As a rookie, the Washington Husky alum was virtually invisible on the field, catching only 27 balls for 268 yards. This year, the team expects much, much more out of him. Williams has been having about as good a camp as one can have, and he will start opposite Jimmy Smith this season in an offense that has been revamped to take advantage of Byron Leftwich’s downfield arm.

Jags RB Fred Taylor has told reporters that coach Jack Del Rio’s prognosis for his knee injury is a little bit rosier than what the reality is. Taylor said he is going to recover at his own pace, and not try to push the knee too hard before it has regained strength. Taylor holds all the cards in this relationship. Since the team’s efforts to land former Bills RB Travis Henry failed, there is no other viable option for the team at running back.

There is an open competition in Texans camp for the starting left tackle job. Seth Wand, the incumbent, is trying to stave off a challenge from veteran right tackle Victor Riley. Wand struggled in pass protection last season, and looked overmatched as a second year player out of unheard of Northwest Missouri State. Riley was a first round draft choice of the Chiefs in 1998, and comes over from the Saints this year with the reputation of being a great run blocker but a subpar pass protector. He started 31 out of the last 32 games for the Saints.

It looks as if 25 year old rookie RB Vernand Morency is going to win the Texans backup RB spot. Morency, who spent three years playing minor league baseball, was the second player selected by Houston in the 05 draft.

The talk of Titans camp has been CB Pacman Jones, the sixth player taken in the draft this year. Unfortunately, the talk is not good and none of it is football related. First, he is facing big legal troubles from an incident at a bar owned by a guy named Robert “Big Daddy” Gaddy in which Jones ripped Gaddy’s shirt and tore his $4000 necklace. Big Daddy, a former Arena Football player, also happens to be a good friend of Titans QB Steve McNair, and many other Titans, so Pacman did’t win himself any friends from that incident. Secondly, he is still unsigned and holding out of camp.


Off On the Wrong Foot

WR Tyrone Calico is scheduled to start opposite Drew Bennett for the Titans this year, but his practices have been limited as he continues to recover from knee surgery. He’s been practicing with a bulky Stone Cold Steve Austin knee brace, something I’m sure a speed receiver doesn’t really want to be lugging around with him on a fly pattern. The third and fourth receivers look to be Brandon Jones and Courtney Roby, who are both rookies.

AFC WEST
Of all the first round holdouts, most NFL-heads thought that Chargers DE Shawne Merriman was the guy who would have the lengthiest holdout, given the Chargers well-earned reputation of having trouble signing their draft picks. The Chargers surprised everyone though, by getting Merriman signed and in camp with only a one week holdout. Merriman is expected to be a big contributor this season as a pass rushing specialist.

DE Luis Castillo is another rookie the Chargers expect to contribute to their defense this season. Coach Marty Schottenheimer has been impressed with he has seen out of the first round pick out of Northwestern so far. He has looked like somebody who can both chase down a play and hold his own at the point of attack. He has a big body and has shown amazing flexibility for a man his size.

The star crossed career of Broncos DE Courtney Brown suffered another setback this week when he dislocated an elbow in practice. He is now expected to be out of action for three to six weeks. In his five year career, Brown has shown flashes of the ability that made him the first overall pick in the 2000 draft. Injuries have killed his career though, as he has missed 33 out of 80 games due to injury.

One camp competition that fantasy football players are undoubtedly keeping a close eye on is the battle for the Broncos RB job. Right now, it looks like veteran Mike Anderson will open the season as the starter. Anderson has been the guy getting the first team reps in practice. His bruising running style is similar to that of Reuben Droughns, who had a great deal of success as the starting running back last year. Anderson was last the team’s feature back in 2000, and he ran for 1500 yards and 15 TDs in that season.

All around boob Freddie Mitchell suffered a knee injury in practice this week. The recently inked Chiefs wideout originally was to have arthroscopic surgery, but has decided against it. That this guy who caught 22 passes for 377 yards last year was the main focus of last year’s Super Bowl Hype week will never cease to amaze me.

A Chief who is having an outstanding camp is rookie LB Derrick Johnson. Johnson came into the draft with the knock of being a linebacker who gets tied up in blocks too easily, despite having great speed and ability. He hasn’t shown any problems with that in practice though, and the fifteenth overall pick looks like an early favorite to be the steal of the draft. He has the kind of ability that has made people the first overall pick in the past.

Important note for fantasy players. Raiders touchdown specialist Zack Crockett is still going to be the guy in goal line situations. This means that new RB Lamont Jordan will not be getting the ball inside the 3 yard line. So while Jordan may be getting a lot of carries and a lot of yards this season, his TD total may not be that high. Crockett has averaged 7 TD’s a year over the last 3 seasons.

Oakland WR Jerry Porter suffered a hamstring injury in practice on Monday, and the injury has proved troublesome. Coach Norv Turner said Porter could be out for two weeks with the injury, and hamstring injuries are the kind of thing that can haunt a player through the whole season. Don’t be surprised if he misses a lot of games this year, as he missed most of the 2003 season with a similar injury


Grounded, For Now

HAVE YOU SEEN MY BASEBALL??? PROJECTING THE NL PENNANT RACES

Last week I unveiled to the world my formula for predicting what the MLB standings would look like at the end of the year, and we learned that the White Sox, Angels, and A’s will all make the playoffs, with the Yankees and Red Sox going an extra game to determine who represents the AL East.

This week, we apply said formula NL. I won’t restate exactly how I calculate this stuff. I did that last week, and if you want to read that you can check out last week’s column. For this week, just know it uses an average of a teams winning percentage adjusted to give equal weight to how they’ve done since June 1, and a measure that estimates the relative strength of their remaining schedule. So without further adieu, I give you the final 2005 NL Standings:

NL EAST
Braves 92-70
Nats 85-77
Phillies 84-78
Marlins 83-79
Mets 82-80

NL CENTRAL
Cardinals 99-63
Astros 89-73 (wild card)
Cubs 81-81
Brewers 80-82
Reds 74-88
Pirates 70-92

NL WEST
Diamondbacks 79-83
Padres 78-84
Dodgers 74-88
Giants 72-90
Rockies 64-98

So yes, we will for the first time in MLB history have a team make the playoffs with a losing record, and it will be the Diamondbacks, who lost 500 games last year. This gives us playoff matchups of Cards vs. D-backs, and Braves vs. Astros.

Note that, for my money, I don’t see anyone stopping the Astros in the NL Playoffs, not with a 3 man rotation of Clemens, Oswalt, and Pettitte. Go ahead and put them down for the World Series. The AL, that’s a total tossup. I could see any one of the White Sox, A’s or Angels getting there, and of course the Red Sox are the defending champs so you can’t count them out either.


One More World Series?

Also note that I declared both the A’s and Astros dead as fried chicken back in June, and it is now very possible they will meet in the World Series. So yeah I’m an idiot.

PIMPS UP HOS DOWN
That’s a wrap for this week! Here’s a quick listing of nationally televised NFL action between now and when we meet again:

Saturday 8/6- American Bowl from Tokyo, Colts v. Falcons, ESPN2 5 AM ET, ESPN 6 PM ET (replay)
Monday 8/8- Hall of Fame Game from Canton, OH, Bears v. Dolphins, ABC 8 PM ET
Thursday 8/11- Chargers v. Packers, ESPN 8 PM

And of course, check out these guys:

Oli Porter talks about Chelski honcho Peter Kenyon, and deems him the most arrogant man in futbol. Who better than Kenyon????

Slayer has an epiphany regarding the title of this column.

Jay Gauss v 2.0 is good stuff!

Patrick Nguyen is the REAL king of all media. At least on this site he is.

Steve Price has NASCAR top ten and bottom ten, in which he draws a parallel between Casey Mears and Disco Inferno. Also, Jeff Gordon jumps on the White Sox bandwagon, joining our current hodgepodge that includes Bernie Mac, Gretchen Wilson, and Michael Clarke Duncan.

See ya next week. Until then, watch some football!