Hey – it’s FLEA. You see why I don’t crow about the past? Let’s refresh
Standards – that’s an interesting word – I’ve been trying to hold it together
with these columns, seeing as I’m pretty much on a piggyback ride with The
Summer of Hyatte. No sense in being 100% non compos mentis , especially
when I’m able to complete the trilogy of my favorite back-to-back-to-back things
to read on the IWC. Me, Hyatte and Eric S. Goodamn that sounds a little
egocentric, but that’s how I always liked it…GRUT too. And Daniels and / or
Widro. Those were the days
– FLEA, last week – Saturday Evening Post
When the Whip Came Down, Hyatte complained about being held down, threatening
6 different ways of suicide solutions, Eric S. took the week off (but did have
two suitable replacements – good job, kids. Thanks for the highly provocative
Xmas picture to my wife and child…not you, Paul. Freak. I’m talking about the
GRUT was too busy making money (go figure)…Daniels had mean things to say about
everyone and BOSS is happy that they don’t test for drugs. FLEA advice to
all you that have to take drug tests at work. DON’T DO THEM. Drink. Or pop
pills. This world has mucho acceptante for pill junkies and alcoholics. The rest
of that stuff is against the lawr. And for God’s sake don’t take a vial of piss
into the room that belongs(ed) to a friend…or worse yet a girl. The only thing
that trumps getting busted for being a dumb ass in a "drug free environment"
is the word getting out that your "friend" had a "lost
weekend" before he gave you that sample – or you come back pregnant. Use
your brain for something more than clever jokes trying to impress the slut in
Accounting. Just saying…
Last’s week’s report broke down – when in doubt, rip off…no – that
was MOP UP TRIBUTE! I own the rights to that, you know – This week, I have
I had no idea what to type about this week, so I in lieu of waiting until
Monday to Mop Up another RAWr, why not do something productive!
So I contacted the Help Desk today, for something I want to do for
1ryderfakin.com…nothing spectacular, just some coding that would bring a cool
feature to the site, should the time come. Couple questions…couple answers,
cooking with gas….and wouldn’t you know! WHACK! I got a smart ass on the line!
After I pointed out the obvious sarcasm…"Hey, Catfish…Gif ain’t what
you put on your kid’s sandwiches with jelly"…the ticket was closed and my
issue was resolved. W…hile my brain was in gear – the hamster was doing a
cartwheel – I thought: "hey! Speaking of Help! I need some column
Thank You Help Desk!
and that folks, are the inner workings of the column you are about to read
below. More background than you may have needed, but do you think I’m going to
spend the first 1/3 of my column with letters from readers?
Inside Commentary – Hey Hi-Rate – are those letters from 1999? I just got an
email from…I’ll tell you later.
C’Mon, Let’s GO!
OUTWITTED BY THE DIMWITTED…
It’s hard to believe that I spent so much time glorifying the IWC when they
are nothing more than a gang of chickenshits who wouldn’t bet a dime an ant
could eat a bail of hay. For a month now, WWE.com has been "going in a new
direction", walking the fine line between "shoot" and
"work"…and everyone that are so called professionals about these
types of things are scared to commit to ANYTHING. Unreal…
I have no vendetta or honest hatred about anyone who has
"contacts"…or "speculates". Or takes a small bit of gut
feeling and puts their ass on the line, in print. I’ve made a point of doing
that for the last 4 years…flashback – overview, without direct quotes.
Everything of mine is still online and can be easily found…I started after
everyone that’s anyone isn’t "archived"…or worse yet,
"crashed"…off the top of my head, here’s a few things I have typed
FLEA: VINCE AND THE WWE AIN’T GOING BROKE – THEY HAVE THE DEAD NUTS
Not much in the way of news now, but 3 years ago, I was one of the very few
that was breaking down the business aspects of how "it’s not the end"
and the future would be in "the past".
FLEA: HHH IS NOT ALL THAT BAD AND YOU’LL MISS HIM WHEN HE IS GONE
Take a look at what has happened to the
business with him not around. You tell me –
would you rather have a 15 minute Old School style WRESTLING PROMO, or…I can’t
even get into this now. There are still detractors that will waste my time
giving evidence to how "it’s all his doing!"…Case in point
I’m sure there are people in the company mad that Hogan is back, and
being pushed in such a high profile match, while they sit on the sidelines
without a match for the PPV.
You know whom I’m referring to, and there is no doubt in my mind that HHH
was one of the people behind the skit on Monday. I can practically hear the
conversation now. “Let Shawn do this skit Vince, it will be good for
business.Ã¢â‚¬Â And like with almost everything else Hunter says, Vince listened
and the skit aired. It certainly got people talking, but I think in the end
the parody of Hulk Hogan will end up not being good for business. If
Summerslam ends up not doing a good buyrate, then I think they should look at
this skit where they buried one half of their main event as a big reason why.
But of course nobody will ever think of that, or at least admit to it.
– Dan Wahlers – wrestlingobserver.com
That, y’all…or youse guys…is what the IWC has become, to a certain extent.
Paranoid…nothing against Wahlers, he’s a good read, but the mindset makes my
drunken ravings about the other side of the coin look like almost sane. It’s
about that time of year when I post a few things about HHH and have everyone
rolls their eyes in that cute RSPW way and tell me I don’t know a damn thing.
Well…I know politics, I know what it’s like to be in charge and I know
what it’s like to have a bunch of subservient "yes men" whispering in
your ear when it’s YOUR MONEY they are playing with. All I can say is I would
bet every dime that I have and 10 I could borrow tomorrow that the above
conversation didn’t happen.
FLEA: BRET HART WILL COME HOME
Hey, when I typed that, it was on a lark. That was about 3 years ago, too…I
figured with Vince owning the rights, et Al, the day would have to come,
eventually. Not very many are too proud for money…or legacy. All it took was a
stroke and nowhere else to go
FLEA: MATT HARDY SUCKS
This one is only a few months old. I had a feeling even his hardcore fans
would get tired of his whining…they did. No way in hell he is going to TNA
when a carrot is dangled in front of his Trailer Trash mug…he didn’t. And as
soon as someone put a mic in front of his face, he would blow it…yes siree,
and how. First Night? Yep, he yelled something incoherent…then they got wise and kept all sound away from him. Until last Monday – 5
minutes and he shit in his oatmeal with his mush mouth Hillbilly chance to run
with the Ball. FLOP. That one was easy to call all along – compare him with
Eddy has nothing at all to work with – no one even KNOWS where this things is
going from day to day. But, he makes you forget, just by the power of his
promos, that Smackdown sucks. And Hard. True Genius
Hardy? This guy gets the "work" or "shoot"…let’s call it an
"angle" at this point…and McMahon’s endorsement and what does he do?
He went and done did, hyuck, just like I said he would. You would think – with all that time to come up
with something, he would try a little harder. And don’t give me "well, by
the time he got there, ‘creative’ handcuffed him!" Bullshit – he had a
live mic – Pillman would have whipped out his dick, rather than stink up the
place and kill the crowd. No talent. And if he don’t know by now, he never
Hardy reads the net… Hey! It’s FLEA. Give up. Stick to taking lovey dovey
pictures with fans that couldn’t spell…no, I won’t be mean. One person knows
what I’m talking about. And you do too.
No idea where I am with all of this – oh yeah. The IWC, for their 8 years of
running things, wouldn’t commit to Yokozuna being dead, at this point.
So, before bets stared being hedged, we knew everything there was about Brock
Lesnar. He owned jets, he failed at football, wanted a life off the road to care
for his kid and f*ck Sable full time. Singed an incredibly short-sighted
contract. Did some work for the Japs that violated said contract. And alldgedly
would HAVE TO crawl back to Vince…
Then – all the sudden – the "inside stories" stopped. WWE.com
posted "contract negotiations are taking place"
IWC: Well, no shit.
WWE.com: "sources say"…Brock Lesnar met today with WWE
IWC: Well No Shit!…our sources said the same thing! You think we
sprung for that Motel 6 across the street from WWE Headquaters for
So…a few weeks go by and more and more folks complain about WWE.com not
knowing how to properly "break" inside gossip…mind you, this is
coming from "professionals" that have been on this gig for the better
part of the last decade – they KNOW what works, and sells, to the
WWE.com – "Brock Lesnar has turned down…"
IWC: wait a second…he didn’t sign the contract? Of course he did! Fate E
Complee! But…what if he didn’t? Should I put my balls and reputation on the
line saying this is all another work and he will run in at SummerSlam? Or should
I just "speculate" that this is "just another work", not
commit to anything and THEN say "Hell, I had no problem being worked, but
THIS is how it should have been done…"
And that’s pretty much what the IWC has come down to. People that have made
this type of thing their lives are too damn scared to be "worked", or
take things at face value, because a few years down the road…or maybe even a
few months down the road…it may look like egg on their faces.
I’ll say this right now – 10 years from now, we will be happy that HHH is
running things – Vince and his non-wresting yes men will be put out to pasture,
Steph will be home with kids…and we might actually get to see WRESTLING on a
program every now and then. Boring promos, low risk moves, psychology and maybe
even one or two things that probably don’t make sense now…but will to a new
generation of fans.
See – kids nowadays are being brought up the smart way – ingest what’s
served. Like we were when all we had was Apter to tell us what’s right. The Old
Guard of the RSPW / IWC Revolution is looking worse and worse by the day, telling the
kids how STUPID THEY ARE for falling for all this crap. "Smart" talk
is being laughed at… unveiled paranoia and the bullshit of it all and more is being taken in as it’s
But, don’t worry – as long as the IWC is alive, so will be absolute
Suspension of Belief. Only less people are buying what is being sold.
HOW ABOUT THAT Y2…who?….Some Other Guy?
Yep – our hero is once again relegated to the sidelines in abject ignominy. You know, I
use that line at least once a week in conversation…and at least once a month
in these columns. Something I picked up years ago, and always found it to be the
perfect, non-profane, saying for someone getting f*cked in the ass…mainly by
their own doing. Jericho could have tried harder…but, no – it was politics. He
could have wrestled better, but no – it was the ding dong "WWF style".
This silver platter and ball he could have eaten from and ran with were taken
away by the "powers that be"…yeah – that happened
And there we go – for every HHH and Austin power move, you have Jericho
selling. I know 2 people off the top of my head that would go apeshit for me not
buying into the FACT Jericho has been buried…who cares – he deserved it.
Besides, He was Moongoose McQueen w / Fozzy Osborne before he had promotion
Now – he is taking time off to "recharge" – and go play music, make the
Hollywood scene…you know…the same thing all those $25 jobbers do. The one’s
that can’t catch a break. Hopefully, life is better for him when he returns.
* * * * * *
Speaking of Jericho’s Band – how bout some…yeah!
*rip* – POOF
What’s Mitchell now that Hyatte’s his friend?
HEYOOOOOOO! HIIIIII-YUCK! FLEA 1 !!!
May the next time you play Pac Man, you fail to reside on my cloud!
oh man….that is THE WIT, kids
* * * * * * *
Let’s see – Talked about Eddy, don’t care about the Mole (not Tod Gordon, the
gimmick…or is that the same thing?)…that’s it, Help Desk. Thank You! BROCK
…you know – this column is chock full of inside jokes that Hyatte won’t
get. THEY AIN’T ABOUT ME, FLEABAG!!…better do some Carnac – above this looks
like a good place as any to edit…
Haw hawr hawr – Lettuce Help YOU! Happy now? ROLLERCOASTERS!
okay – a few more things…I’m thinking you should probably stop reading now,
wrestling talk is over and…I don’t know. Thankfully, the above didn’t sound too
bad when I was typing it. Doubt I’ll even bother to edit this week. Hope you
enjoyed…see ya next week
Oh yeah – I may rip of the Mop Up again on Monday. If I do, it will be added
onto the bottom of this column – but only at 1ryderfakin.com.
"may" sounds good…"may not" might happen. So, check
back, I guess. Stuck Mojo – f*cking A is that funny
So I’m listening to the radio today…Sean Hannity’s program…and heard the
weirdest thing. Bill Cunningham, Right Wing Loudmouth vs. Christopher Murray,
noted attorney for the ACLU…Topic at hand was the ACLU’s objection to random
searches…specifically at the Subway Station in New York City.
I’ll tell you right now – I have rarely agreed with anything the ACLU says,
if only because they use an extremist point of view to get their point across.
I don’t care for extremism in any way shape or form, regardless of where I stand
on the issue. However, I’m a big proponent of civil liberties. As in the concept
– live and let live…As long as you are not directly hurting the ones I love, I
don’t really care what you do…society is menacing in many ways shapes or forms
– I…and I’ve wondered this for about 25 years now – I can’t comprehend why we
go out of our way sometimes to dig our own graves when it comes to treading on
Sometimes I forget how far nuts this country has gone…I don’t want to get
into a whole ramble about this – but I’ve seen it coming, pretty much since I
was around 20 or 21. The old saying goes "If you are a not a liberal at 20,
you have no heart"…but if you are still a liberal at 40, you have no
Coming from a family of so-called Liberals, I always laughed at that.
Actually, anyone in their right mind is liberal to a certain degree – if not,
they have totally given up on the joys in life and think that everything deviant
and wrong with this Country can be blamed on "Liberal America". Or the
Left. Try turning on the radio sometimes…or TV and see how many times the word
"liberal", or how much is blamed on "the liberals". But
don’t have a drinking contest, or you’ll end up like me. It’s a whole industry
in itself, and more and more people are falling for it hook, line and
nigg…whoa – about quoted Scots there for a second. Hook, Line and Sinker. The
elections proved that – it gave the "right" in this country a
so-called "mandate" to do whatever they want…but look what has
Shame and Disaster – everytime they have stepped up to the plate with their
agenda, they get smacked around. The first test on this was the Terry Schiavo
debacle. Here’s a brain dead girl that has no chance whatsoever to resume
anything close to a normal life. Her husband, basically, wants to pull the plug.
Despite numerous courts and doctor’s decision saying "Hey Dude, go
ahead…peace in the valley", etc. The Government steps in and tries
to put a stop to it…The mandated Right Wing portion, anyway. Finally showing
restraint, the Left kept their dumb mouths shut and let these God Freaks and
Right to Life cornballs hang themselves. So, instead of a woman dying peacefully
with a lethal injection of medicine, she was starved to death. Not that Terry
Schiavo knew any different – her brain didn’t work – but, because we are to
f*cking scared to put someone out of their misery…why? because GOD will give
us a cheap seat when we get to Heaven?…it takes two weeks for the girl to
Every Goddamn Democrat…especially the ones here in Florida need to make
that a part of their upcoming election platform. Unfortunately, the Democrats
are to pussywhipped to run a campaign properly. They have allowed themselves to
be painted as out of touch with "American Values" instead of going for
the jugular and twisting the "game" right back in the Right Wing’s
face. All I can say is thank God that Clinton is going to be involved in the
next Big One. Not Hillary – of all people, it’s shame that she will be our next
President. I’m talking Bill. And his gang. They are the only ones on the Left
that know how to knock some sense into the dumb…and probably the only chance
that anyone under the age of 30 doesn’t grow up having to debate the same stupid
issues over and over, while more and more freedom is slowly taken away…
Yeah – I’m rambling. But I’m getting sick of the things I see happening. Bush
put us to war, a war I agree with in principle, but is losing. Instead of
fighting, American soldiers are sitting over their like sitting ducks. I can’t
figure that one out – Jesus Christ! Will somebody give the order to open fire on
these motherf*ckers? Day after day, more of our kids come home in bodybags…then
every 12th day, we "attack" something. In between those days, our
"trained soldiers" manage to crash a helicopter or something totally
counterproductive. I used to buy into this "yeah, they got
freedom…Democracy GO GO GO! line of bullshit, but I’ve come to the conclusion
that I really don’t give a damn.
Why should I feel so happy that the people in Iraq have the freedom to walk
around with purple fingers when my own country’s highest Court just ruled that
my own Government has the "freedom" to come and take my property,
should they choose? And that decision flies under the radar while we argue about
gay rights and abortion as a litmus test for someone to sit on said Court? I
would like to give you a bit of FLEA advice, which you can take or leave
The old saying "it’s who you know" –
is the most accurate statement ever.
Instead of sitting around, go out and mingle. Oh f*ck this – I was about to
explain a bunch of things to a large group of people that will only laugh and
scoff at it. "Flea, I know so and so, who is a friend of my cousin’s
and"…I’m not talking "friends"…if you can count on your
jerking off hand a bigger number of "friends" you have…true
friends…not family or loved ones…then you are lying to yourself. The people
that can help you in life are "acquaintances". You’d be surprised, if
you come out of your shell, how many people there are like that. It’s all basic
human psychology – I may come back to this at some point, but the short version
is this – it’s going to behoove you in the long run to know a few people,
because the circle of power is rapidly closing…
What the hell is my point here – oh yeah. Fascism
So I’m listening to the radio today and it hit me how far bent this country
is. It’s like we gave the fascists in this country carte blanche to run all over
us. Hey, just because you are scared of your own shadow, doesn’t mean you have
to take it out on me. Cunningham and Hannity are stomping this guy from the ACLU
because he doesn’t think that "racial profiling" should be used when
people are "randomly searched"…
I don’t even want to get back on this…sorry. I was dying to call in and ask
these clowns if I should turn our Doctor and Dentist in for "looking like a
terrorist". Then I was going to say my Redneck Jewish Lawyer has caused
more misery to Human Beings than anyone I know…and I’m of the firm opinion
that he should be arrested for impersonating a human being and be immediately
chained to a pole in a dungeon, but "Geez, guys…he doesn’t "fit the
profile" and I kinda of like him. Any advice?" But, I didn’t. That
might ruin the flow of the show, you know.
If abortion is outlawed in this country, does it matter? If two gay people
decide they want to live their lives as a couple, are we all going to hell? When
we leave Iraq with our tail between our legs and the military of the Greatest
Country on Earth has to come to the conclusion that we haven’t won a war in 60
years, do you think there will be consequences? The answer to all of those is
no…but no one is going to tell you that…at least not until we get whacked by
the Chinese, who we could never beat in a fair fight, because, in addition to
letting people live in happiness for the short time they are here, we are also
to scared to…
I’m teaching my kid how it’s going to be when she is 50, if she still lives
in this country. Walk into a store, see the prices are too high
NO BEI DAM TING
yeah. Fatalism. Beats the hell out of crowing about how bad things are….go
for the knockout punch. It’s not like we ain’t Born to Die
Help Desk: I guess you could talk about the “mole”
Thanks for Reading
FLEA – firstname.lastname@example.org