InsidePulse’s WWE RAW Report 8.08.05

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Video package of the diabolical plans of Eric Bischoff from last week.

LIVE from Pittsburgh, PA
Hosts are Jerry Lawler, Johnathan Coachman, & Jim Ross

Eugene Invitational
Eugene talks about Hogan being his friend beforehand, when Christy starts a chear interrupted by Angle. Kurt’s new shirt that he’s sporting is actually pretty cool. The crowd shows Angle some respect, as Kurt talks about being the hometown hero. Crowd goes crazy, as Kurt talks about Hogan not being a hero for these people, since they already have one. Eugene retaliates by saying that he has an olympic medal, which doesn’t even make sense. Well, I guess it shouldn’t. Kurt promises to break Eugene’s damn ankle, and Eugene is just dumbfounded that Angle would use such language. Kurt gets right to work and gets a backbreaker for 2. Eugene outsmarts the ref, which is pretty easy to do in the WWE, and tries to ride Angle, but Kurt comes back with a back suplex for 2. Eugene hulks up, but Angle ducks a right hand and gets a german. Eugene counters the Angle Slam, and Kurt accidently hits the ref, causing the DQ.

Afterwards, Angle whips the Angle Slam on Eugene, prompting Hulk Hogan to run out. Kurt manages to escape the boot, however. Hogan and Eugene pose as we cut to a:

Commercial break.

Shelton Benjamin(7-6) vs. Chris Masters(13-0)
Benjamin gets a leg takedown, but Masters catches him on a crossbody and slams him. Masters gets some boots, and Chris gets the bearhug. Shelton escapes, but walks into a Masterlock attempt. Shelton counters it with an inside cradle for 2 though. Shelton gets a splash, and gets a top rope clothesline for 2.Chris tries the Msterlock again, but Shelton applies a sleeper. Masters gets in a low blow unknown to the ref, and applies The Masterlock to end it.

Backstage, Todd Grisham is with Kurt Angle, who just got out of Bischoff’s office. Kurt is very happy, as Eric has granted him the opportunity to face Eugene one on one at Summerslam.

Commercial break.

Backstage, Maria is with Rob Conway, who is wrestling Viscera. Oh god. Rob promises to get things done the conway, when Viscera walks up and accuses him of belonging to the Village People.

Meanwhile, Edge and Lita are back in the locker room, where they are apparently locked up. Edge says that…hold on. Did Edge get a Y2J cut? Why? Anyways, Edge takes all the credit for Matt being in the main event and getting the biggest reactions of his career, and he’s actually got some really good points. The two make out to send us off.

Commercial break.

Rob Conway(1-2) vs. Viscera(5-1)
Vis gets some chops in the corner, and does some Visagra as King calls it. Conway goes right to the knee, but Viscera catches him with a somoan drop. Vis does his little walrus thing, but Conway escapes and goes up. He lands into fist however, and Viscera goes to pick him up, but his knee gives out, allowing Conway to land over him for the 3.

Commercial break.

The Hurricane, Rosey, & Stacy Keibler vs. Victoria & The Heart Throbs(1-0)Hurricane and Antonio start off, and Hurricane gets a clothesline for 2 quickly. Romoe gets tagged in and gets a double legsweep with his partner for 2. Elbow gets 2. Antonio comes back in, and the Throbs look for a double dropkick, but Hurricane holds on to the ropes. Rosey comes in and cleans house, and sits on Antoinio for 2, thanks to Romeo. Stacy distracts the Heart Throbs with her ass, causing Victoria to get pissed and ram her into the wall pretty hard. Rosey gets revenge on Victoria, but walks into the Double STO from The Heart Throbs for the loss.

Commercial break.

Highlight Reel time, along with pyro! Y2J introduces Bischoff as the greatest sports entertainment manager of all time, and even shakes his hand twice. Bischoff tells us to enjoy the premiere of Cena’s new video tonight, as after Summerslam, John won’t have anything but his music career. Jericho says that he even made his own music video tonight, it showing what happens when you mess with Y2J. Not pretty. Short video though. Bischoff compliments Jericho on his new video, and calls out the ref from the main event last week. They roll the footage of Chad (the ref) running into the main event to make the 3 count last week, and Eric bitch slaps him as punishment. Bishcoff forces an apology out of the guy, but it’s not good enough, so Eric put him in a match with Jericho, right now.

Commercial break.

Chris Jericho(3-4) vs. Chad Patton
I’m guessing on the spelling of the ref’s name. Wouldn’t it be funny if they made the guy count the pinfalls regardless? Chad takes Jericho into the corner, but Y2J just kicks him down. Jericho uses Patton’s shirt to choke him, and I think Bischoff is the ref. Anyway, Carlito walks down to get a better look at this monumentus match. Chris throws him out, allowing Carlito to beat on him some. Back in, Y2J gets a spinebuster and hooks on The Walls of Jericho to make Patton tap.

Afterwards, Jericho still hangs on after the bell rangs, causing the uncleared Cena to run down and make the save. Jericho and Bischoff get away, but Carlito eats the Jericho-dedicated FU.

Commercial break.

Backstage, Grisham wants Jericho and Bischoff’s opinion on what just happened, and Eric makes Cena vs Y2J/Carlito for next week.

Diva Search time, as this is the final week before they crown a winner. Kristal gets cut, and they show footage of what the women would do under surprising circumstances. Okay. Ashley, who supposedly gives out her phone # (516-644-9878), gets hit in the face with a pie as she’s selling herself, as do the other two. They all just pretty much complain and do…not much. I say Ashley wins, but she’s even less useful than Hemme. Oh, and the final is in Montreal.

Commercial break.

Matt Hardy vs. Snitsky(0-3)
Big pop for Matt. Hardy gets right on Gene with the right hands, but Snitsky catches him with a spinebuster. The two exchange kicks, but Gene ghets a whip into the corner and follows it with a clothesline. Vertical suplex gets 2 for Snitsky. Gene misses a shoulderblock, allowing Matt to get a clothesline for 2. Gene counters a neckbreaker with a sideslam for 2. Twist of Fate is pushed off by Gene, but Snitsky gets caught up in the ropes with his foot, allowing Hardy to get a modified 2nd rope Twist of Fate for 3.

Afterwards, Edge gets redemption on Hardy.

Commercial break.

Backstage, Hardy is being escorted by security when he just tails off and goes after Edge in the locker room. Security seperates the two.

Premiere of Cena’s new video “Right Now”. The video’s actually kinda cool.

Commercial break.

Time for face to face, whatever that means, hosted by the King. Nice pop for Hogan. It looks like this is going to be some kind of debate, as the two wrestlers are standing behind podiums. HBK thanks Hogan for taking time off to be here. Lawler brings up Michaels being offedned by Hogan’s comments on Larry King, to which Shawn says that there is nothing in Hulk’s life which he desires. King asks Hogan what he thought about Shawn’s impressionations, and Michaels even chooses to answer that one. HBK says that for the 1st time, Hogan will have to face somebody who doesn’t sweat him, and goes WAY off by saying that the WWE couldn’t exist without him. So, what do you call 1998-2002? Hogans says that if he wanted to cast stones, he would have called up Bret Hart. Hulk even brings up HBK losing his smile, as he is here for the fans smile. Hogan says that if the fans want him to kick Shawn’s skinny little ass at Summerslam, he will. Shawn looks like he’s had enough, but chooses to give the Sweet Chin Music to King! Hogan points the finger, but Shawn goes low. Hogan won’t stay down though, and makes Shawn eat boot and tosses him. That was actually a good promo from both men.

End.

Biggest Cheers
1)Angle
2)Hogan
3)Hardy

Biggest Jeers
1)Eugene
2)Bischoff
3)HBK

~Rave