Welcome to IPs Live Smackdown Coverage. I am your host Jeremy Lambert and I will be here from 8-10 giving you the updates for WWE Thursdays Show. Just know that I am missing football for you, the fans. New stuff is in italics.
Opening video plays and we start with”¦
Booker T vs. Joey Mercury: At least we get the mole out of the way quick. Once again, no good shot of Melina. Moley distracts the ref and Nitro jumps in the ring. Booker knocks him down. The ref throws out Moley and Nitro. That ended quick, for the best. Chops by Booker to start. Snap suplex by the Booker Man. Cresent kick by Booker. Booker goes up top but Mercury crotches him. Double underhook by Mercury. Leaping knee drop followed by a kick. Sleeper by Mercury. Booker fights out and hits a forearm, a clothesline and a side slam for 2. Flapjack by Booker. SPIN A ROONIE followed by a Book End by Booker. Melina distracts the ref. Sharmell ends that. Booker turns his attention to the chicks and Mercury rolls him up and holds the tights for 2. Booker fights back and hits a scissors kick for the win. That ended quick.
Winner- Booker T
TONIGHT: RANDY ORTON BACK IN ACTION!
NEXT: THE PEEP SHOW WITH BATISTA
Commercials
We return with the Peep Show. Christian makes his grand entrance. Christian welcomes us to the show. He introduces the World Heavyweight Champion BATISTA! Christian wanted Batista to be his guest because he doesn’t have a match at SummerSlam. Maybe Teddy should have been his guest? Christian wasn’t going to play pocket pool at SummerSlam. He is going to prove myself tonight by beating Batista. After watching Dogma 100 times, Christian sounds like Matt Damon. Batista is a shaved ape. Batista sounds a bit like Eugene tonight. Constipated and retarded. They bleep ass, which is non-sense. Batista accepts Christian’s challenge. Is this the norm for the Peep Show? Whoever the guest is ends up in a match with Christian? Man, that’s some creative booking.
LOD2K5 are heading to the ring to squash some jobbers no doubt
Commercials
They show some highlights of the SummerSlam Press Conference. Looked decent enough to hold a live crowds attention
LOD2K5 vs. Jobbers of The Week: Heidenhawk doesn’t have the shoulder pads yet. You know the drill. Power moves ending with the Doomsday Device
Winners- LOD2K5
TONIGHT: RANDY ORTON IN ACTION!
Commercials
Earlier tonight, Rey arriving with his wife and Dominic arrived at the arena. His wife looks pretty good, she’s too tall for Rey.
They show highlights from Chapter 2 last week.
Orton meets up with Long backstage. Randy Orton demands to know his opponent tonight. Long won’t reveal the opponent. The spoilers told me that this match will suck.
NEXT: RANDY ORTON IN ACTION!
Commercials
The Divas remind us to stare at them. I personally find Maria the hottest.
Randy Orton vs. Mystery Legend: Why doesn Cole keep saying this is Ortons first match since Wrestlemania? Lets not forget that Orton wrestled Batista the night after WM. Orton’s opponent is”¦.
KAMALA!
Yes, that was the best the WWE could come up with at this time. Kamala beats his belly, I bet he enjoyed that more when the Divas did it last year. Maria could beat”¦.I wont go there. Headbutts by Kamala to starts. Orton dropkicks Kamala down and proceeds to beat the hell out of him. Orton drags Kim-Chee in the ring and gives him the RKO. Kamala shows us his moveset. Punch, chop, kick, headdbutt. Kamala checks on his manager guy and we know whats coming”¦
::crouches down, opponent turns around, leaps, RKO!::
Orton has no time to cover as we get more mind game video packages by the Undertaker.
A quick cut to the back sees Eddie Guererro biting his nails. So chick from child services walks in. Eddie gives an Oscar performance tell the girl why Dominic should be his.
Commercials
Can you feel the heat? Here comes Eddie with the child services chick. Eddie says Dominic will come home to Papi tonight. Congrats David Ortiz. Eddies home is full of love, compassion, and truth. Eddie calls out the Rey Gang. Boooo no music. I had a remix for his theme to. Check it out:
WHO’S THAT COMIN’ OUT TO CRY? R-E-Y MYSTERIO, HE’S TEARY YO
Ha, I’m great. An “Eddie Sucks” chant starts up. Eddie gets loud and yells but then turns into a sap again. OSCAR! GIVE HIM A DAMN OSCAR! Dominic’s face is mashed against his mom chest, which is a good size. Eddie tells Rey that nobody beats him. Eddie asks the child services chick to award him his son. Rey looks like a super-hero with his mask and nice clothes one. Rey says that nobody wins in this situation. The fans sure as hell don’t win having to sit through this crap every week. I could watch Telemundo and see the same stuff. Rey names off all the stuff that Eddie has beaten. The odds, addiction, streets, past. BUT YOU HAVEN’T BEATEN REY MYSTERIO! I’m sure the WCW record states other wise but WCW never existed in WWE world. Rey says that splitting his family apart is not victory. There’s 2 things that Eddie can’t lie, cheat, or steal from Rey: The love for his son and a victory from Rey. He has a son? Not according to the DNA Test and Eddie. Why are they dragging this out? Here’s how it’s been going on for the past 10 minutes.
Rey: You can’t beat me in the ring
Eddie: Give me my son
That’s all they’ve said just in different forms and words. They bleep out Rey calling Eddie a “chicken shit.” This prompts Eddie to remove his jacket. Eddie’s curse word is also bleeped. He should have said “You see the language that goes on in their house? A son shouldn’t have to hear those words.” But they screwed that up. This all leads to Eddie vs. Rey at SummerSlam for Dominic’s Custody. Are they going to put him on a forklift like Judy Bagwell? The child services girl calls Eddie and Rey a bunch of crazies. She must not follow wrestling. If she thought that this was crazy I wonder her opinion on Katie Vick. She says that Dominic will go in foster care until the differences are resolved. Dominic waves good-bye to his fathers.
Commercials
Mexicools vs. Scotty 2 Hotty & William Regal: Scotty still gets a decent pop. Crazy and Psico represent the Mexicools in this one. I hope they don’t plan on going to the top rope. Shoulder block and hip tosses by Scotty on Crazy. Scotty slides to the outside and hits Psico but Juvi nails Scotty and throws him back inside. Dropkick by Crazy. Psico tags in. Guillotine leg drop on Scotty. Crazy comes back in. Crazy misses a stinger splash, which looked ugly in the first place. Psico tags in. Scotty wants to tag in Regal but Regal drops off the apron. Scotty fights back and goes for a bulldog but Juvi trips him. Psico goes to the top and hits a leg drop on Scotty for the win. THAT was cruiserweight wrestling? God help us
Winners- Mexicools
Backstage, Rey and his wife are crying in Spanish, yes that’s possible.
Commercials
Jillian Hall is backstage and challenges Sharmell and Booker. Booker & Sharmell vs. Mercury & Melina. I’m missing Owens and Rosenhaus on ESPN for this?
NEXT WEEK: MELINA & MERCURY VS. BOOKER T & SHARMELL!
They play the “Right Now” video by John Cena. Not my favorite track on the CD but it’s a nice calming song.
Commercials
Chris Benoit vs. Simon Dean: Dean tries to sell Benoit the Simon System. Benoit is in good shape so this makes no sense at all. Chops by Benoit. Benoit just destroys Simon with his basic offense. Dean fights back and hits a short arm clothesline. Simon has yet to take off his jacket. Front face lock and knees by Dean. Simon goes for another short arm clothesline but Benoit ducks and hits The Hat Trick. He locks on the Crippler Crossface and that’s all she wrote
Winner- Chris Benoit
NEXT: CHRISTIAN VS. BATISTA!
Commercials
We return with Christian already in the ring. Wow only 10 minutes left. It will be about 8 or 9 by the time these two lock up. Here comes The Animal.
Batista vs. Christian: 7 minutes left in the show when they lock up. Batista shoves Christian down. Christian with a headlock. Batista picks him up and just puts him in the corner. Christian charges but gets knocked down with a shoulderblock. Turnbuckle rams by Batista. Christian tries a sunset flip but Batista blocks it. Christian charges Batista but is lifted over the top rope and to the outside. On the outside Batista throws Christian into the guard wall. They go back inside the ring. Christian throws Batista into the ringpost shoulder first. Christian goes on the apron and rings Batista arm over the ropes. Christian goes to the 2nd rope and hits a missle dropkick for 2. Shoulderlock by Christian. Christian goes to the top but Batista cuts him off. Back body drop off the top by Batista. Shoulder rams by Batista in the corner. Side walk slam by the champ. Batista tries a scoop slam but Christian slips out and bounces off the ropes. Christian runs into a spine buster. Batista says THUMBS DOWN! Out comes JBL to cause a DQ. They battle on the outside. JBL hits Batista with a chair. They go in the ring and JBL continues to beat Batista with the chair. JBL poses as we close the show.
The End
Thanks for joining me everyone. Read At Ringside tomorrow for a HUGE announcement. CyA
