Remote Destination

Confession Time!

I really dig Best Week Ever.

I know, I know, I do feel dirty. But it’s the best way to catch up on what happened during the week. I can’t catch everything, I’m bound to miss something, and Best Week Ever keeps me up to date.

But now the show is on taking a break with a new season to begin in September. I’m already going through withdrawal. Where am I supposed to find weekly installments of snarky comments about pop culture?

I’m so lost. Help me, please.

What I Watched Last Week

Starved – This show walks the “dramedy” so well, except, well it’s not too funny. Some of the stuff is just disturbing. I will completely agree about the two best feelings a man can have, but I’ll also agree that there’s no way those two will ever meet.

I’ll continue to watch this show, but mostly because of what follows it.

Rescue Me – Who would have thought that a gay barbeque could be so entertaining? It’s it always funny when two straight guys try to be gay? I must reiterate how Franco is the man, his ability to say what a woman wants to hear while still avoiding answering her question is impressive, though it didn’t do him much good.

I didn’t dig the resolution with Tommy’s fam this week, but him making out with this (possible) half sister was comedy. Speaking of Tommy’s half relatives, the thought that his half brother might be a perv is pretty disturbing.

Inked – The drama involved in this show is so extra. And what sucks is that the promos are advertising a completely different show. The campaign is all about the people who are talking about their tats. But the show is more like The Real World set in a tattoo parlor. Boo.

Miami Ink – Now this is show that constantly delivers on it’s promises. I’m glad that the show shows how tattoo artists are actual artists. The common misconception is that they just inflict pain on people, but Miami Ink is dispelling this by showing how some clients trust the artists to design the tat. And the stories behind the tats are pretty powerful as well.

Ape To Man – This show provided an interesting look at the evolution of man. It was fascinating to see how the theory itself evolved and how the world of science is just as petty as any other aspect of life. G-Dub should be required to give this program a viewing.

Six Feet Under – Whoa, first we had Nate’s birthday party and now his funeral. Both were equally great episodes. I’m not going to lie; I got choked up a couple of times while watching his episode. Watching everyone deal with their grief was tough to witness, which is a testament to the skills of the actors.

I really felt for poor Brenda and David while they were dealing with their respective “Nates”. Man the creators really turned things up a level for this final season. And with only two episodes left I already know I’ll be left wanting more.

Greatest Show Ever…this week – TIE Stella & It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I had to do a tie because it wouldn’t have fair to put one episode over the other. Stella slayed me with the concept of lost humanity and nutty flashbacks. And watching Michael, Michael and David get reacquainted with civilization was equally funny. Stella makes me laugh week in and week out.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia was funny enough but when you toss in abortion politics it became hilarious. Mac pretending to be a radial pro-lifer with an abortion doctor hit list, in order to impress a girl had me weak. And Dennis trying to decide which side of an abortion rally to be on, by way of the desirable females was gold. This show is suffering from it’s lead-in.

Why the End of Chappelle’s Show Means My Dreams Are Dashed

I don’t think that anyone was more disappointed to hear that Chappelle’s Show was over than I was. Let me explain.

Y’see when I first heard rumors that season three was in trouble (Dave was crazy) I got to formulating a plan. It was my theory that critics were already waiting to give the show a bad review, due to it’s popularity, and the news of an unbalanced Dave would just add fuel to the fire. But I thought of a way for Dave to sidestep the controversy.

My plan was for Dave to make the show “jump the shark.” During one of his talking to the audience bits he’d introduce two younger new castmembers (myself and my best friend naturally.) Then the episode would focus naturally focus on them. Worst case scenario, Dave is consciously “jumping the shark” depriving the poisonous critics of their ammo. Best case scenario Dave is hailed as genius for lampooning the concept of the “jumping the shark” while still producing a funny episode.

Now to me it seemed like a win/win proposition. Dave would get fresh eyes and ear for the material he was questioning the validity of, courtesy of myself and my best friend (who come as a 2 for 1 deal; you get two writers/performers for the price of one). He’d also get immunity against critics waiting to say that he’d fallen off.

Sadly that never came to pass. But that’s cool because I’m still focusing on that Conan gig in 2009.

Jack Bauer vs Race Bannon

Last week I posed the following scenario;

Good News; you’re about to meet a moderately popular celebrity. Bad News; you’re about to meet this person in a fight for your life. Maybe it’s a pit fight. Maybe it’s a gladiator type match. Perhaps it’s like one of those “tied to each other” battles like in the video for Beat It. The point is; it’s a fight to the death. Good News; you’re health and you’ve got all your limbs. Bad News; you’re facing off with some grizzled veterans.

So, would you rather face off against Jack Bauer (24) or Race Bannon (Jonny Quest)?

Colin was the first to reply with his catlike reflexes.

I’d rather fight Race. I get the vibe from him that he’d fight clean as a whistle. Plus, Jack always seems way too high-strung. As cool as it would be to be in a scrap against Ace, the d!ck who stole Denny Lachance’s hat, he seems as though he’s a wild one. Something to watch out for. I think Race would keep it clean as long
as his opponent did.

Aaron countered and didn’t miss a step.

In a one-on-one contest, I’ll take my chances with Race Bannon. As I’ve never seen “24” (sorry, Mathan) at least I know what to expect with Race. And, it’s not like I don’t have motivation. Nice stereotypical treatment of the “Hadji” character, you bastard. Race was always telling his kid to “keep an eye on Hadji” and that damn dog, whose name escapes me. Even for the early 1960s American environment, that was some quality dehumanization. Besides, if that’s not enough motivation, I’ve heard that Jack Bauer kills people. Bad guys, sure, but still. With Race, I’ve got no fear of that in cartoon land. Hell, I’ll even tell you my strategy: basically, once I capture him, I won’t reveal my plan for world domination while an unnecessarily slow moving means of death inches towards him. This always allows for the kids to save the day.

Nope, I’ll just kill him.

First off, you guys are a couple of punks for trying to beat up a cartoon character.

Oh, that’s right, I’m going to man up and take Jack Bauer. C’mon, this guy’s died like, what, two times at least. He can’t take too much more, plus I hear that dying takes years off your life. There’s also that chance that you are going to be fighting him the day after a 24 season, which means he’s going to be tired.

Race Bannon is prematurely gray! Now I don’t know what that means, but I find it very intimidating. He’s also adept at fighting minions, and quite frankly I’ve got the build of a minion. I’m taking out Jack Bauer. If you’re not strapped to a chair, and he’s devoid of torture implements I don’t think he’s too tough.

Of course this leads us naturally to…

Good News/Bad News/Question of the Week

Good News; you’re part of a popular group. Bad News; you’re animated. Good News; your teammates dig you. Bad News; fans hate you. Maybe you’re from another dimension. Maybe you’re a nursemaid whose charge has outgrown your needs. Regardless, you’re the most popular character, in terms of hate. Good News; you lead a pretty secure life. Bad News; there’s a hint of a monarchy where you dwell. Good News; you’re going to be part of a success. Bad News; you’ll always be thought of as corny.

So, who would you rather be; Orko (backstory and image) or Snarf (a href=>image and backstory)?


John writes about Peter Jennings, Dave Chappelle and explains why he’s rooting against Deadwood.

Matt blows my mind with is his vexing continuity.

Kevin complains about the lack of quality viewing.

J.A.M.? Three Tha Friday? J.A.M.

The “M” is for Me, duh!

A” is for Aaron, whose new Bootleg isn’t quite up yet. But his last column has aged rather well.

J” is for Joe Reid. First up is his new writing gig which is completely opening me up to a new side of Joe. Next up is his always entertaining Blog. The past seven days has seen Scott Stapp, 1999’s best flims, Peter Jennings, Angels in America, and infectious songs. Solid reading every day of the week.


On the off chance you want to get in touch with me I can be found on AIM via mathboogie.

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