Welcome everyone to InsidePulse’s Live Smackdown Coverage. I am your host Jeremy Lambert. It’s the final Smackdown! before SummerSlam. Will JBL attack Batista? Will Rey cry over the loss of his son? Will Eddie continue to win Oscars? FIND OUT TONIGHT! New stuff is in italics.
We start with a recap of last weeks Mexican Soap Opera. Rey loves Dominic, Eddie hates Rey, Dominic doesn’t talk, Reys wife has huge knockers. I think I covered everything.
In the opening video I notice a couple of people doing some 450 Splashs. Shouldn’t they be video outlawed at well?
TONIGHT: CHRIS BENOIT VS. RANDY ORTON!
Can you feel the heat? Here comes Eddie. What happened to the low riders? There is a ladder in the ring. “Eddie Sucks” chants are under-way. Don’t feel bad Eddie, Canadians told Shawn to “Shut The Fuck Up.” Eddie recaps last week once again. Rey called out Eddie, he challenged Eddie, he called Eddie a chicken shit. Only one match can settle this dispute, a ladder match. They settle disputes like this all the time on Telemundo but with guns, not ladders. The custody papers will hang above the ring and whoever grabs them will win the little kid. I think Dominic On A Pole match would be better. Eddie says he will win. Why is Eddie going to win? Because he loves his son. Rey is a liar. Eddie does not lie. He needs to change his theme music then. Truth > Lies. Eddie is going to win the match for every father that loves his son. On Sunday, Dominic will come home to Papi.
NEXT: BOOKER T & SHARMELL VS. MERCURY & MELINA!
Commercials
The Divas tell us that SummerSlam is This Sunday.
Jillian Hall is in the ring, bah. She introduces MNM.
Mercury & Melina vs. Booker T & Sharmell: The guys start it off. Side headlock by Booker. Mercury shoves off and gets a shoulder block followed by a hip toss and a scoop slam. Knee drop by Booker. Booker goes for the Book End but Mercury shoves off. Super kick by Booker. Mercury tags Melina and Booker is forced to tag Sharmell. There’s About To Be A (WHAT)? GIRLFIGHT! I don’t commentate chick fights because it’s the same process unless your name is Trish Stratus. Mercury tags in after a bit and he goes after Sharmell but gets an eye rake. Booker is in. Chops by Booker. Mercury fights back and hits a neckbreaker. Sleeper by Mercury. Mercury gpes for another neckbreaker but Booker shoves off and hits a flap jack. Scissors kick by Booker. SPIN A ROONIE! Booker uses Mercury to tag in Melina and Sharmell tags in. I’ll let you know when something important happens. Mercury breaks up a cover and Booker comes in and knocks him to the outside. Sharmell bounces off the ropes and Moley trips her. Melina covers (horribly) and uses the ropes for the win.
Winners — MN(M)
TONIGHT: CHRIS BENOIT VS. RANDY ORTON!
Commercials
They what what just happened Moments Ago
Backstage, Sharmell aint too happy with the Booker Man.
Backstage, Chris Benoit is warming up when Orlando Jordan walks up to him. OJ babbles on about nothing. Benoit says OJ will tap at SummerSlam. OJ will also have his best match of his career thanks to Benoit.
LOD2K5 is backstage. Look, more babbling. Heidenhawk earns his Road Warrior Shoulder Pads. Speaking of Shoulder Pads, The Saints and Patriots are playing on Fox.
Commercials
Here comes Candice Michelle. She gets to be the Special Guest Ring Announcer because Vince loves dem Divas.
LOD2K5 vs. Jobbers: You should know the drill by now. Power moves and Doomsday Device for the win
Winners- LOD2K5
SMACKDOWN NUMBA ONE ANNOUNCA! FUNAKI IS BACK! Highlights of last week when JBL attacked Batista. JBL says Batista is an idiot just in 1,000 more words. JBL will win the World Title. JBL is going to demonstrate how violent he can be. JBL is going to kill Funaki is a No Holds Barred Match”¦TONIGHT!
Commercials
JBL gets in his limo so he can go to the ring.
Some guy interviews Randy Orton. 1 Year Ago, One This Day, In This Arena, Randy Orton beat Benoit for the World Title. Orton combines the gimmick of Carlito and Raven by saying “My destiny is to beat The Undertaker and spit in the face of his legacy.”
JBL vs. Funaki: JBL destroys Fuanki and that’s about it. Fuanki gets 0 offense in. Chair shot by JBL until BATISTA MAKES THE SAVE! 10 minutes too late. Batista hits the spine buster on JBL followed by a chair shot that sends JBL to the outside. Batista gets on the mic. Batista says he will win at SummerSlam. One of them will be right. BUT WHO?!?!?! RENT SUMMERSLAM NOW!!!!!
TONIGHT: CHRIS BENOIT VS. RANDY ORTON!
Commercials
WHO’S THAT COMIN OUT TO CRY? R-E-Y MYSTERIO, HE’S TEARY YO!
Rey Mysterio vs. Simon Dean: Spare me. Dean says Rey is fat. Ok, he killed his own gimmick. Rey just beats up on Dean. Rey goes for the reverse bulldog thing but Dean drops him on the turnbuckle. Backbreaker by Dean and he covers for 2. Dean puts Rey in a torture rack but Rey fights out. Springboard forearm by Rey and a dropkick to the knees. Rey arm drags Dean into the 619 position. 619 followed by “Droppin a Dime” for the win
Winner- Rey Mysterio
Raw Rebound: Montreal doesn’t like Shawn Michaels
Commercials
We are back with The Peep Show. Tonights Guest: Christian. He can’t face himself, can he? The Mexicools don’t want to see Christian interview himself. The Mexicools crash the Peep Show set and attack Christian. Crazy hits a moonsault off the top and Psicosis hits a leg drop almost at the same time. Juvi hits a elbow drop off the couch on Christian. That was cool. They are not Mexican, they are Mexicools. They are also stereo-types.
NEXT: CHRIS BENOIT VS. RANDY ORTON!
Smack Of The Night: Last week, Kamala vs. Orton and all the fun stuff that happened during it
Commercials
Josh Matthews is backstage with Rey. Remember when he never talked? Rey says he doesn’t see Eddie. YOU CAN’T SEE ME! Rey curses twice in this interview. Dominic can’t live in a house full of nasty language. Dominic is coming home to his real father”¦that’s Rey.
They rundown the SummerSlam card. Just click here to see the card.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit: Both men enter and we go to”¦
Commercials
We are back with Orton having Benoit in a side head lock. Benoit turns it into a wrist lock. Arm drag followed by a arm lock by Benoit. Side headlock takedown by Orton. Benoit fights out and double leg takedowns Orton. Orton fights out of it and hits another side headlock. Benoit shoves off and is met with a shoulder block and a pose. Benoit regains control with an arm lock. Orton fights out and goes with another side headlock takedown. Benoit turns it into a side suplex. Chops by Benoit. Orton hits a thumb to the eye to take control. Benoit reverses a turnbuckle smash with a smash of his own. Benoit chops and head butts Orton down. Kicks by Benoit. Uppercut by Orton. Benoit ducks a punch and another double leg takedown by Benoit. He goes for the sharpshooter but he can’t down Orton. Orton fights out of the sharpshooter. Another double leg takedown and sharpshooter attempt. He still can’t turn Orton. Orton gets to the bottom rope.
Commercials
Orton is in control when we return. He whips Benoit off the ropes and goes for a dropkick but Benoit holds on. Benoit goes for the sharpshooter again and turns it this time. Orton crawls to the ropes and grabs the bottom rope. Benoit goes after orton but Orton slings Benoit into the post shoulder first. Elevated DDT by Orton and he covers for 2. Jumping knee drop by Orton and another 2 count. Orton clubs the chest of Benoit. Another headlock by Orton. Benoit fights out with elbows and chops. Orton tries a gut wrench suplex but he screws it up twice. He settles with a DDT for 2. Benoit continues to chop Orton. Clothesline by Orton for 2. More chops by Benoit. Orton whips Benoit into the turnbuckle and falls over. Benoit hits the turnbuckle and falls on Orton. They trade punches and Benoit gets the best of that. A knockdown followed by a elbow drop by Benoit for 2. More chops by Benoit. Hat Trick by Benoit. Maple Leafs fans wish Benoit played for their team, because Eric Lindros sure as hell won’t score 3 goals a game. Top rope head butt by Benoit. OJ comes out and Benoit knocks him off the apron. This distraction allows Orton to gets up and hit the RKO for the win
Winner- Randy Orton
As Orton poses the lights go out. SABU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, Undertaker is behind Orton. Chokeslam by Taker. Throat Slash by Taker.
End Show
Thanks for joining me. Read At Ringside tomorrow and rent SummerSlam on Sunday. CyA
