Time to go back to my roots and wax athletic for my loyal dozens of readers. Not a sports fan? You can always click here and dive into my Friday Daily Pulse archives, or head on over to moodspins, where I’ll be writing a general pop culture commentary every other week. Otherwise, take your glasses off, get reeeeeeal close to the computer screen, and hunch over as I debut the first Till My Head Falls Off for InsidePulse Sports…
So, I’ve claimed that my background is in sports writing, but when my colleagues on the IP Sports team told me that professional hockey’s back, and that I should write my debut column on the icy sport, my mind drew a blank, I broke into a cold sweat, and all evidence of my supposed sportswriting talent disappeared. Kinda like last year’s NHL season! *rimshot*
But seriously, aside from college sports, hockey is the sport I’m least qualified to write about. I haven’t regularly followed the NHL since high school, and even then it took a lot to hold my attention. In fact, aside from a few random games of EA Sports’ NHL ’93 in the past year, I haven’t so much as thought about hockey unless I was flipping through the sports section and came across yet another headline about the on-again, off-again negotiations between the NHL and the player’s union.
Nothing like a good work stoppage to really drum up interest in a sport.
I’m not going to get into any of the labor issues, however, except to state what seems to me as the obvious: the NHL were justified to lock out the players, there was no easy solution, and the big lesson learned is no one cared. Don’t kid yourself, die-hard hockey fans: for most casual fans, the NHL was simply “out of sight, out of mind” … and it’s going to take a lot more than $5 tickets to win us over. Besides, with the bizarre equivalent of a huge fantasy draft going on (apparently all players were deemed free agents or something like that, but you’ll have to fish around this Web site to figure it out), I don’t even know who’s on my team.
Ah, “my team.” I use that term so fondly when referring to the New York Mets, Jets and even the Knickerbockers. But the New York Islanders? Some of my first sports memories include sitting on the floor in my living room, watching the Isles win four straight Stanley Cups with my father … my grandfather telling me stories after bumping into members of the team at the local bowling alley … my dad coming home from work one day with an autographed picture of Bobby Nystrom. I fondly remember being taunted by Rangers fans with chants of “Pot-vin Sucks!” and retaliating with “Nine-teen For-ty!” Fast-forward a few years and I was at my junior prom and the DJ interrupted the dancing to announce that the Isles had beat the Penguins to stay alive in the 1993 playoffs.
I cared back then. When I was a kid. Well before the Islanders had a “fake owner” (remember that guy?), followed by owners that didn’t give a shit if they won or lost. Well before I knew what a “collective bargaining agreement” was.
Yet hockey is BACK. And forget not knowing who’s on what team; I’m more curious how many people know that the games that would have been found on ESPN if there was a season last year will now be on the Outdoor Life Network. Professional hockey: North America’s own Tour de France!
I don’t want to close this first sports column on a negative note, though. Before I sign off, let’s see what some of the other InsidePulse staff (who happened to be logged onto AOL Instant Messenger) have to say about the subject:
PulseMM (12:24:20 AM): So, did you hear hockey’s back?
Daniels (12:25:05 AM): Hey, at least the Canadians will be happy
PulseMM (12:25:34 AM): I never knew you cared so deeply for the Canadians
Daniels (12:27:20 AM): i don’t, but strip clubs in Montreal don’t have a cover during the games because the whole city is at the Molson Centre
PulseMM (12:30:36 AM): Tell me something about hockey for my column
Haley (12:32:53 AM): well the nhl just signed a deal to broadcast its games on the -outdoor living network-
Haley (12:32:55 AM): of all places
Haley (12:33:02 AM): a major north american sport televised on OLN
Haley (12:33:35 AM): ESPN wouldn’t match its offer, so the network that is running survivor reruns gets to broadcast games 1 and 2 of the stanley cup finals
PulseMM (12:33:48 AM): but I knew that!
Haley (12:33:55 AM): well i got nothing else for you
PulseMM (12:34:04 AM): but what about the free agents and the collective bargaining agreement?
PulseMM (12:34:10 AM): what about the ZAMBONIS?!
Haley (12:34:14 AM): all the players have changed teams so much you’ll need to actually buy the program to figure out who is who
PulseMM (12:34:49 AM): so it’s all a big sham to sell more programs?
Haley (12:36:41 AM): if they go for 50 a pop this year, then you’ll know the answer
PulseMM (12:30:25 AM): You’re Canadian, you must like hockey
Murtz signed off at 12:30:58 AM.
Wow. Daniels was wrong. Even the Canadians are angry.
Until next time …
peace. love. moe.
– Matthew
