SLAYER’S SPORTS AND STUFF!
Hi Everybody! Welcome to the second part of the NCAA Preview! In the first part we looked at the shuffling of the deck and talked about Busty Evil Lesbians. Today we look at the insanity known as the coaching carousel plus take a peek at who’s on the hotseat. Lots of fun little tidbits in here, you may be surprised at where some of these guys went to and came from. Alright, let’s take a ride on the carousel….you must be at least this high to take this ride.
BWAHAHAHAHA
That’s really funny if…nevermind, either you get it or you don’t.
Let’s go!!!!!!!!!!!!
COACHING CAROUSEL!
ACC
None this year for the ACC. Go Figure. Expect that to change next year.
BIG 12
Oklahoma St.
Out: Les Milies (Louisiana St.-Head Coach)
In: Mike Gundy (Promoted-Offensive Coordinator)
Star Quarterback, Assistant, Coordinator, now he’s the head coach. He has been a popular figure in Cowboy Land for almost two decades and will have everybody behind him. It’s actually a nice story, but will it have a happy ending? As with all successful Oklahoma teams, only if he can improve out-of-state recruiting. That will be the key factor.
BIG EAST
Pittsburgh
Out: Walt Harris (Head Coach-Stanford)
In: Dave Wannstedt (Miami Dolphins-Head Coach)
Dave goes back to his Alma Mata. While he has not had a lot of experience coaching in college, he was known in the NFL as a good teacher who worked well with young players.
Syracuse
Out: Paul Pasqualoni (Dallas Cowboys-Tight Ends)
In: Greg Robinson (Texas-Defensive Coordinator)
Paul was known for his discipline, but not in the fun way with rules that included no long hair, dreads, jewelry, or tattoos. In comes Greg, coaching veteran who is known as the epitome of a player’s coach and actually STRESSES that individualism is important. Greg Robinson only was in Texas for one year and is really an NFL guy with coaching stints at Kansas City, Denver, and the Jets. He is also controversial as he was eying this job for several years and many think he got it about two years ago and they just waited for the right time to do it.
BIG TEN
Illinois
Out: Ron Turner (Chicago Bears-Offensive Coordinator)
In: Ron Zook (Florida-Head Coach)
Illini fans are holding their breath with this one. This is either gonna be the move that brings Illinois back to prominence, or simply be another very long four year bust. Zook is a great X/O guy, but he doesn’t have a disciplinarian bone in his body and things tend to spin out of control. Zook and the Big Ten doesn’t seem like a good fit, but if he’s learned from past mistakes, you never know.
Indiana
Out: Gerry DiNardo (ESPN)
In: Terry Hoeppner (Miami, OH-Head Coach)
Why he didn’t wait for a better job is making many people scratch their heads, however the obvious answer is $$$. The man’s gonna have to dig deep and do some dirty work to get the Big Ten’s worst program out of the gutter.
C-USA
East Carolina
Out: John Thompson (South Carolina-Defensive Coordinator)
In: Skip Holtz (South Carolina-Quarterbacks)
Skip was supposed to get the Gamecocks gig, then Steve Spurrier came in and ruined everything. However ironically, he replaces John Thompson who quit to go work with Steve. So there you go. Skip has had a previous successful coaching campaign, turning Connecticut into a 1-AA success and helping them lay the foundation to get in 1-A. Let’s see if he can take advantage of a watered down C-USA.
Marshall
Out: Bob Pruett (Retired-Occasional Media gig)
In: Mark Snyder (Ohio St.-Defensive Coordinator)
Snyder has big shoes to fill as he takes over for the coach that turned Marshall into a 1-AA powerhouse and then a 1-A team that rolled over a very resentful MAC. Now with a new conference and a new coach, things are a changin’ for the Herd. However, Snyder probably knows a little about pressure being in Ohmygodrama State University.
IND.
Notre Dame
Out: Tyrone Willingham (Washington-Head Coach)
In: Charile Weiss (New England Patriots-Offensive Corrdinator)
It’s a new era at Notre Dame, and everyone is excited to see how far this jolly fun-loving offensive guru can take this team. But, with USC, Michigan, Tennessee, Michigan St., Purdue, Pittsburgh, and Navy on the schedule…not this year. However, expect high school blue chippers to now start looking to play there again.
MAC
Miami (OH)
Out: Terry Hoeppner (Indiana-Head Coach)
In: Shane Montgomery (Promoted-Offensive Coordinator)
For those of you who watched last year’s Independce Bowl, many of you remember when the A.D. announced he was the new head coach for next year’s team in the lock room prior to the game. A really cool moment for lack of a better word. Anyway, the players adore him and he’s perfect for the Air MAC conference.
Ohio
Out: Brian Knorr (Air Force-Defensive Coordinator)
In: Frank Solich (Vacation, but Nebraska head coach two years ago)
Many people felt Solich got the screwjob and the mainstream media is already cheering for him to win the MAC. It’ll be tough. He’s taking over one of the most losing programs in college football. One that hasn’t been to a bowl since 1968.
Western Michigan
Out: Gary Darnell (no idea where he is)
In: Bill Cubit (Stanford-Offensive Coordinator)
Good ole Kalamazoo: A perennial caller dweller, 1-10 last year, and haven’t been to a bowl game since 1988. Good luck, Bill.
MW
Brigham Young
Out: Gary Crowton (Oregon-Offensive Coordinator)
In: Bronco Mendenhall (Promoted-Defensive Coordinator)
Many are considering this a ‘favor’ to untested Bronco, and the expectations are very high. The Mormons want this program back to its once premiere status very soon.
Nevada-Las Vegas
Out: John Robinson (At 70 and basically retired, he got a unique gig working with Randy Moss for his friend, Turner.)
In: Mike Sanford (Utah-Offensive Coordinator)
The city is screaming for this football team to one day be competitive and UNLV may have landed a gem in Mike Sanford if he even had half to do with what happened with Utah. Speaking of…
Utah
Out: Urban Meyer (Florida-Head Coach)
In: Kyle Whittingham (Promoted-Defensive Coordinator)
If following Urban’s act isn’t tough enough, even that aside Utah is a quality program that expects consistent winning seasons and bowl game appearances. Very little wiggle room for Kyle.
PAC-10
Stanford
Out: Buddy Tevens: (Head Coach-Dartmouth)
In: Walt Harris (Head Coach-Pittsburgh)
It may seem like a downward move for Harris, but this is more about him being a California guy and wanting to go home. It’ll be interesting to see if he can be successful in a program that does not make academic waivers. Few coaches can master that art.
Washington
Out: Keith Gilbertson (Consultant for the Seattle Seahawks)
In: Tyrone Willingham (Notre Dame-Head Coach)
The fanbase is a bit more condensed, but the pressure will be just as high to get the Huskies back to one of the elite teams of the nation…..and winning a few Apple Cups along the way.
SEC
Florida
Out: Ron Zook (Illinois-Head Coach)
In: Urban Meyer (Utah-Head Coach)
Talented coach with a good if not uneven team. However, there will be no grace period for Urban, and he will have to start winning right away and begin to rack up big seasons to stay. It’ll be interesting to see if his authoritative style will work with Gator Nation.
Louisiana St.
Out: Nick Saban (Miami Dolphins-Head Coach)
In: Les Miles (Oklahoma St.-Head Coach)
Much more friendly and personable then Nick Saban, LSU is already experiencing a bit of a culture shock. But if his success at Oklahoma St. shows anything, he is more then capable of competing on this level.
Mississippi
Out: David Cutliffe (Basically got screwed, then went to become Notre Dame’s O.C. then had heart problems and will try his hand with the media…you probably had no interest in knowing that but there you go anyway).
In: Ed Orgeron (Southern California-Assistant Coach)
Orgeron was the closet thing Pete Carroll had to a defensive coordinator and he is credited for much of the school’s recruiting success. It all depends if Rebel Country is gonna be patient and give him a few years to build a solid program to compete in the erratic SEC West.
South Carolina
Out: Lou Holtz (ESPN)
In: Steve Spurrier (Hilton Head Golf Course)
Out goes one legend, in comes another. If all goes to plan, South Carolina will go 12-2 every year. Seriously though, it is difficult to fathom him not doing well. He has more or less mastered the college game. The only issue will be convincing top prospects to become a Gamecock.
SUN BELT
Nothing doing here!
WAC
New Mexico St.
Out: Tony Samuel (Purdue-Defensive Line)
In: Hal Mumme (Southeast Louisiana-Head Coach)
A team that once got on the cover of Sports Illustrated for being the worst I-A football program in existence, made a slight turn but then went back into a long rut. Mumme once took the abandoned Kentucky program and made it competitive and bowl oriented. Then he broke the rules and got blacklisted for awhile. Either way, he does have experience with this sort of situation.
San Jose St.
Out: Fitz Hill (Getting into civil issues and policy, and is more or less the spokesperson for disfranchised black coaches. Lots of appearances on the news and he’s promising a tell-all book in the future. I’d read it)
In: Dick Tomey (Texas-Defensive Ends)
Here’s a flash from the past, he sprung Hawaii out of the ashes, then took Arizona out of the dumps of the PAC-10 and into one of the best teams in the nation with Desert Swarm. He then retired doing specialty jobs for friends. Now, he wants to try to rebuild one more sagging program before his coaching days are done. This is one heck of a task as they are in danger of being demoted to 1-AA by the NCAA.
Utah State
Out: Mick Dennehy (a long vacation)
In: Brent Guy (Arizona St.-Defensive Coordinator)
Yikes…If he can do anything with this program…God’s speed.
Dam, that was a crazy ride….now let’s look at some Coaches that must
WIN OR DIE!!!!!!!!!
Chris Ault-Nevada
His comeback year made everyone really happy, then really sad. And everyone is already starting to whisper “the old man has lost it.” Will be on a short leash.
Gary Barnett-Colorado
They sooooooooooo wanted to fire him last year after the debacle, but then he won the Big 12 North, bwahahahaha.
Rich Brooks-Kentucky
He was supposed to do with this program what he did with Oregon. Of course the secret that the Cats just did not understand was that when the two Oregon schools went all crazy, the Pac-10 was at its lowest point in quite possibly their entire existence. The SEC is now the strongest conference in the land. Even though an undefeated winner in this conference can’t get into a championship game….but i digress.
Tom Craft- San Diego St.
School officials feel their program is better then what Craft has given them and he’s already made a few enemies with the school and media.
Jim Grobe-Wake Forest
He’s beloved by the players but despite the new all powerful ACC, it’s doubtful the Demons will tolerate a third losing season in a row.
Mark Mangino-Kansas
He was asked to do anything with Kansas…anything! He got them to a bowl game then took a step backwards. He has also upset school officials with his weekly tamper tantrums.
Gary Pinkel-Missouri
Missouri also known as Mediocrity seemed to be almost coming out of their 80 year existence of 5-6 and 6-5 records. Then they hired Pinkel to get them into the Big 12 Elite. They went backwards.
Greg Schiano-Rutgers
This guy is mega-popular in the NY metro sporting scene and is considered New Jersey’s genius of football. However, he may have tried to do the impossible here. It’s a question of whether he quits first or gets fired.
Mike Shula-Alabama
6-5 records and Music City Bowls don’t cut it in ‘Bama. Despite slowly taking this team out of it’s sick probation years, the fans are growing impatient.
That’s it! See you around Monday as we survey all 119 teams…..
Shoutouts are welcome at nyslayer@4sternstaging.com
