InsidePulse’s WWE Velocity Report

If you’re reading this, you have made a good choice. See, the days of Velocity are winding down, and therefor when Velocity ends soon, it will be the end of an era. I mean, stuff like continuing A-Train-Funaki feuds, Crash Holly developing as a Mattitude follower, and Bill Demott as a PBP announcer are just classic and we will miss them. Also can’t forget the many faces of Spanky when he was debuting wearing masks in various gimmicks such as Diamondback and the Pittsburgh Penguin. More nostalgia next week, but until then…

Hosts: Steve Romero and Josh Mathews

Simon Dean vs. Russell Simpson
Dean makes his way out on one of those Segway things and calls it the Dean machine. Dean gives Simpson 2 choices, one he tries the Simon System bar, or 2, he can beat the fat off of him and force him to eat it. Simpson knocks it out of his hand and goes on the attack. Dean gets a hammerlock into a side headlock but Simpson reverses it. Leg takedown by Simpson and twists the ankle but Dean kicks out of it. Simpson knocks him down with a shoulder but Dean comes back with a hair snapmare. Some casual punch-kick action from Dean, and then he slams him in a reverse tree of woe, setting up a corner splash. Dean stomps a mudehole in the corner. Simpson can’t hit a suplex and Dean keeps up the offense. Dean does some sort of pushup thing with Simpson’s head between his legs, which looked awkward. Dean with an addominal stretch now, but Simpson fights out and knocks him down. Kicks to the gut by Russell, and gets another shoulder. Simpson with a dropkick for 2. Dean dodges a second dropkick and then hits the Simonizer for the win.
Winner: Simon Dean
**, not too bad of a jobber match.

Commercial break, as they immediately pimp Friday night SmackDown. And TNA thought THEY had a bad timeslot.

We are back to clips of the Mexicools breaking up the Peep Show and then Christian leaving Booker T behind and letting him lose to the Mexicools. It is much different watching the clips now since I did the SmackDown report. A GREAT Peep Show by the way.

Commercial break.

Doug Basham vs. Caprice Coleman
Talk about killing the crowd’s interest. And when was the last time DOUG BASHAM was actually in a wrestling ring? Anyway, Doug gets on the mic and wants everyone to welcome Caprice Coleman, but then wonders if people will actually take him seriously. Douglas attacks and dumps Coleman, who tries a sneak attack but gets taken down again. Coleman goes Rock style off a clotheline and flops around like a rag doll. Shoulder tackle and he presses Coleman onto the ropes. Time for the side headlock of doom to be applied on Caprice. Coleman gets out and dodges a charge at the corner, gets 2 off a schoolboy. Atomic drop by Coleman, but Doug no sells it and hits a high knee… for 3.
Winner: Doug Basham
*, this gimmick just isn’t going to work after we’re used to seeing the Basham Brothers.

Commercial break.

We see a clip of earlier tonight where Josh Mathews is talking with William Regal and we see the clip where Regal bailed on the Worm attempt. Regal says that he is back to being the William Regal of old, and anyone that gets in his way, is going to get a “bloody good thrashing.” That about sums it up.

Vito vs. Brad Taylor
Vito simply unleashes the fury on Brad, giving him little chance to breath. A knee drop gets 2, followed by a clothseline and elbow drop. Vito slows things down with a side headlock that Taylor manages to fight out of, however knocks Brad back down with a superkick. The spinning DDT or whatever it is finally hits.
Winner: Vito
– no rating- Match was so dull that the announcers actually began a discussion about Home Improvement during it.

Commercial break.

We are now in the middle of the 6-man tag SmackDown main event, where it is a 3 on 1 assault on Orlando Jordan.

Commercial break.

Well, so far there is no Steven Richards or Bob Holly action, and I know there will be no Holly action since he was on SmackDown, so they are really changing things up around here.

William Regal vs. Scotty 2 Hotty
Scotty attacks on the apron and hits the 10 punches in the corner. Right hands by Scotty and a pin for 2. Regal sends Scotty outside and then beats him down back in. Criss cross whips and an elbow smash by Regal. Knee to face by Regal, but Scotty comes back with punches. Regal reverses a whip and sends Scotty down with an elbow setting up a choke with the knee. Regal with slaps in the corner and gets a big punch for 2. Regal goes old school and pins 3 more times for a total of 4 pins to wear Scotty down. Scotty sends Regal to the corner and follows up with a back drop for a 2 count. Regal slides Scotty half way outside and goes out to beat him down. Regal on the apron looking to attempt something, but Scotty just falls outside. On count number 7 on the count out, Scotty gets up and attempts to suplex Scotty in, but Scotty reverses it and rollshim up for 2. Regal again sets Scotty up on the apron and and hits a knee drop off of it. Regal with a series of chokes against the ropes, then locks in a chikenwing but Scotty gets to his feet as a “Regal” chant ensues. Scotty with a double leg takedown and flips through for a pin for 2. Back body drop for Scotty, followed by a forearm off the ropes. Scotty misses a bulldog but hits the superkick, but then some unknown muscle guy in black jeans and long hair runs in and takes Scotty down, then Regal and the other guy attack Scotty, hitting a double team back breaker.
Winner via DQ: Scotty 2 Hotty
**1/2, wow, really wasn’t expecting that finish. A solid main event nonetheless.

The aftermath: Well, we got 3 jobber matches this week, one less than usual, so that is never good. We see more Vito squashing which isn’t good, and we saw Doug Basham with a new gimmick which is… well, you get the point. A wild finish in the main event, so stick around until next week to see just what unfolds…

— See ya in 7, don’t forget to write.

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