Event Details:
Location: Various
Host: Lord Alfred Hayes (Jim Ross, Bobby “the Brain” Heenan, and “Macho Man” Randy Savage on commentary)
Reported Attendance: N/A
-Lord Alfred Hayes interviews the Reverend Slick who is trying to teach Kamala how to bowl. Yes, you read that right. Slick says he rolled a perfect game 27 times and hilarity ensues when Kamala refuses to put on shoes because he is scared of them. Sort of corny, but Kamala’s wailing is pretty good for a laugh.
-Opening Match of the Tape: Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. Earthquake:
Wow, what a way to start off a Coliseum video release, but I guess you have to start somewhere. After all, this shouldn’t be too long. Yokozuna is wearing the cool Royal Rumble SNES tights here (white and black). I just say that because I feel the need to say something after we are a full minute in and nothing happens. Staredown after Earthquake jumps around the ring and we see some pushes that go nowhere. Earthquake uses his quickness (?!?!) to evade Yokozuna, but shoulderblocks go nowhere because Yokozuna is one HUGE daddy! Earthquake clotheslines Yokozuna into the corner, but a blind charge eats elbow and Yokozuna gets a shoulderblock to floor Earthquake. Yokozuna hits a legdrop, but chooses not to cover. Yokozuna whips Earthquake into the corner and Fuji distracts Earthquake long enough to allow Yokozuna to splash Earthquake against the buckles. After that it’s just a mere formality and sure enough, the Banzai drop finishes at 3:40. Interestingly enough, the Yokozuna-Duggan series of matches ended the same way. Not too insulting. ½*
-The Beverly Brothers vs. The Nasty Boys:
Take me back to Yokozuna-Earthquake ASAP! Jerry Sags and Beau Beverly star the match and Sags has a brief flurry of offense before Blake pokes him in the eyes. Knobbs gets tagged in somehow, but misses a blind charge into the corner. Knobbs ends up regaining the advantage and gets his turn in taking out the Beverly Brothers. Pit stop is given to Blake, but when Knobbs argues with Beau he slams Blake’s face into the canvas. Modified hot shot delivered by the Beverly Brothers after Beau is tagged in. I should point out that Ross, Heenan, and Savage don’t know the names of the Beverly Brothers, which shows how low they were on the totem pole by 1993. Blake gets a neckbreaker and Beau gets a legdrop for two. Another poke to the eyes stops an offensive struggle by Knobbs, but a second rope headbutt by Blake eats canvas. However, Knobbs chance at a momentum swinging tag is picked off by Beau. Beau delivers a blatant low blow, but the referee doesn’t feel the need to call for a disqualification. Eh? How about some CONTINUITY to the rules? Knobbs throws Beau’s head back when he puts his head down on a whip and we have a race to the corners, and Knobbs gets the momentum swinging tag to Sags. Sags goes crazy, slams both of the Beverly’s, and slams their faces into the canvas when they try a double-backdrop. Legdrop by Sags on Blake gets two before Beau interrupts the count. Four-way brawl and somehow the referee gets shoved down and we get a double-DQ ruling at 6:47. WHAT!?! If the write up sounds weird that’s because this match was weird and lacked a solid flow. Also, the crowd could care less about the Beverely’s and had ZERO reaction to their offense. No wonder the Nasty’s fled back to WCW when their WWF contracts expired. Match was in the * range, but the crappy finish knocks it down a notch. ½*
-We go back to the bowling alley and evidently Kamala didn’t want to put the bowling shoes on because he’s not wearing any. Slick presents Kamala with his own custom bowling ball and Kamala is scared of it at first. When he gets hold of it, though, he doesn’t want to put his fingers in it and that ends this segment. I feel like I’m watching an episode of RAW here: comedy segments and bad wrestling.
-“The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon vs. The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer):
I’m not sure if this was the same match they put on Rampage 1992, but I’ll be able to tell by the finish most likely. If they did that is REALLY cheap, but this is 1993 WWF we are talking about. Either way, it doesn’t look like we’re in for much of a star studded classic here. Ramon bails after a staredown and then stomps the Undertaker when the two come back into the ring. Undertaker no-sells a take to the buckle, though, delivers some thrusts and he gets the ropewalk. Some Razor punches send Undertaker to the outside, but when Ramon tries to knock the Undertaker off the apron the Undertaker stun guns him. Back in, we have more brawling and Ramon atomic drops the Undertaker across the top rope. The Undertaker falls to the floor and Ramon follows up by ramming him into the post and the steps. Back in, Ramon with a sidewalk slam and gets a massive flurry of elbowdrops. However, Paul Bearer jumps up on the apron so Ramon steals the urn, dances with it gleefully (which is pretty funny), and then clocks the Undertaker with it while the referee is distracted by Bearer. It’s about damned time someone tried that. However, Ramon takes too long to cover and the Undertaker kicks out at two. Undertaker chokeslams Ramon after ducking a clothesline and Ramon just says screw it and takes a countout at 5:03. Nope, not the same match as Rampage 1992, but basically the same finish. Match was actually rockin’, with Ramon using everything he could think of (save for his signature moves) to put away the Undertaker. However, the cop out finish drags it down, just like the tag match. *
-Typhoon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow:
Why is Bigelow always forced to wrestle the big fat guys on these Coliseum video releases? It’s always Bigelow against Mabel, a member of the Natural Disasters, or some other big guy the WWF decided to put on a tape with him. However, I digress for the purpose of reviewing this particular match. Savage discusses how he loves the staredown in a wrestling match, something I don’t quite understand since it only lasts a second and sometimes not at all. Bigelow tries a modified bearhug to start, but Typhoon easily breaks it. Heenan discusses the significance of a big guy versus a big guy matchup which, while somewhat silly, is the perfect example of the detail needed to make fans care about midcard matches in the WWE today. Bigelow tries a bodypress off the ropes, but Typhoon catches him and fiercely slams him into the canvas. Bigelow bails for some time, but Bigelow unloads as Typhoon is talking to the referee when he comes back in. However, a blind charge eats buckle and Typhoon gets a slam. Elbowdrop misses, though, but a falling headbutt by Bigelow eats canvas. Nice sequence. Bigelow pulls Typhoon into the second turnbuckle for a brief double KO and manages to get up first. Bigelow does some more pounding and applies a front facelock. However, Typhoon fights it, only to have a suplex attempt fail. Hmm, that doesn’t make too much sense unless they want to tie the failure of that move into the front facelock, but that segment was so brief I’m not buying it. Bigelow gets a suplex of his own, though, and gets a two-count. Chinlock time, but Typhoon elbows out only to get knocked down with another shot by Bigelow. Bigelow gets a falling headbutt for two. Typhoon falls on top of Bigelow when Bigelow attempts a slam and delivers two clotheslines. A third is countered by Bigelow, but a take to the buckle gets reversed and he splashes Bigelow against the buckles. However, Typhoon decides not to deliver his finishing splash on Bigelow halfway through the move and STUPIDLY decides to ram him against the buckles one more time. Is anyone surprised that this guy fell on his face during his WCW debut? Anyway, the second splash against the buckles ends up badly for Typhoon and Bigelow picks up the win after a clothesline and a flying headbutt at 7:18. Much better than I expected and as good of a big man-big man match as you are going to see. However, the bail out spot (where Bigelow may have been legit hurt or had the wind knocked out of him) and the chinlock spot took too much time to give it a ** rating. *½
-Slick shows Kamala how to roll a bowling ball and rolls a strike, but Kamala wasn’t watching because he was petting his bowling ball.
-Intercontinental Championship Match: Bret “Hitman” Hart (Champion) vs. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels (w/Sensational Sherri):
YES! This must be version 451,954 of the Bret-Michaels feud over the Intercontinental Championship that ended up going Hart’s way due to SummerSlam 1992 ending up in England (where he dropped the strap to the Bulldog), not in Washington D.C. (where he was originally going to drop the strap to Michaels in a ladder match). Michaels gets an armdrag to start and they try arm ringers, with Michaels taking Bret down by his hair and Michaels applies an armbar. They fight over a hammerlock sequence until Bret decides to use Michaels momentum against him and hurls him to the arena floor. Back in, Bret legdrops the arm and applies an armbar. They go into the corner and Michaels gets a cheap shot after they are forced to break by the referee. Michaels floats over a Bret blind charge, but Bret gets a clothesline for two. Bret goes back to the arm, but Michaels gets up and gets a knee to Bret’s gut off the ropes. Bret reverses a take to the buckle, though, BUT Michaels reverses a whip into the corner. Michaels stomps away and chokes with his boot a couple times. Sherri follows it up with a forearm while Michaels distracts the referee and Michaels follows it up by jumping on Bret’s back when he’s draped over the second rope. Michaels with a high kneelift for two. Michaels goes to the chinlock as Ross, Heenan, and Savage engage in another debate over Sherri’s looks. Hart fights out of the chinlock, but Michaels hits him with pre-Sweet Chin Music after Bret ducks a clothesline. Bret uses his fist to avoid a Teardrop suplex and a blind charge by Michaels gets boot. Bret hits a second rope clothesline and we have a double KO. Bret gets an inverted atomic drop after playing possum and clotheslines Michaels in the back of the head for two. Bret with a backbreaker and gets a second rope elbowdrop for two. Bret argues with the referee because he failed to win a match with that move for the 1,400,515th time and there must be a conspiracy against him. Bret catches Michaels with a sleeper, but both men fall outside of the ring and engage in a slugfest. Michaels rolls back in, but when Bret it on the apron, Sherri grabs his left leg and Michaels uses the ring ropes to make Bret take a sick bump into the guardrail leading to a countout at 9:01. Michaels celebrates with the belt afterwards and then decks the referee when he tells Michaels to give him back the belt. Bret comes back in, though, clocks Michaels with the belt, and kicks him out of the ring to make the fans happy. Good little match that would’ve benefited if a little more time had been given to it. Additionally, I would’ve liked to see Michaels work over the chest area to set up the countout spot with the guardrail, but that bump looked like it’d take somebody out for a countout regardless. ***½
-Slick again tries to teach bowling techniques to Kamala and rolls another strike (which looks staged). Kamala doesn’t pay attention this time either, though, and tries to give him a different bowling ball, but Kamala is having none of it.
-Doink vs. Kamala (w/Reverend Slick):
One thing to clarify early on: evil Doink rules and Kamala as a face sucks. Similarly, Kamala has a tiny bit of credibility as a heel and Doink totally loses his appeal as a face. Doink brings a big present down to the ring with him, something that becomes important later on. Doink offers the present to Kamala to start and Kamala looks intrigued, but Doink keeps the present away from him making Kamala sad. Doink does a series of takedowns and stomps away as Kamala wails. Doink gets a clothesline and wraps on an armbar and then rakes Kamala’s eyes when he tries to get up. However, Kamala ducks a clothesline and delivers a thrust kick. Kamala then proceeds to unload and Doink falls to the arena floor. Kamala chases Doink around the ring and Doink offers the present to Kamala, which stops Kamala cold. Kamala decides to take the present and Doink rolls into the ring as the referee counts Kamala out at 3:18. Unfortunately, when Kamala finally gets the present open there is nothing inside of it and Kamala starts to cry. Yea, this is DEFINITELY wrestlecrap. Funny commentary, though, by Savage and Heenan as Savage screams that the present doesn’t matter and Heenan finishes it off with “Boo hoo, I’m dumb.” Afterwards, Kamala beats up Doink and hits a splash to get his heat back I guess. Bad match, but it reinforces the clarifications I made early on: evil Doink rules (like tricking idiot faces with false presents) and face Kamala sucks. DUD
-Papa Shango vs. The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer):
Oooh, it’s Kama-Undertaker two years before it happened. Staredown as Savage marks out again and Shango chokes the Undertaker into the corner. Undertaker walks out, though, and starts choking Shango to a pop. First time I’ve seen people pop for a choke before. Shango reverses a whip into the corner, but blind charge eats boot and Undertaker gets the ropewalk. Shango kicks Undertaker when he puts his head down on a whip, but Undertaker no-sells and slams Shango. Elbowdrop that usually misses misses and Shango clotheslines Undertaker over the top rope, but Undertaker lands on his feet. Undertaker pulls out a stungun much like the Ramon match earlier on the tape and rolls back into the ring. Shango catches Undertaker with some sparks from his voodoo stick, which looked pretty cool because it was unexpected, and Heenan hilariously calls it “Haley’s comment” when Ross & Savage want to know what happened. Outside, Shango hits Undertaker with a chair and runs him into the steps. Back in, Shango unloads and gets a slam, but the Undertaker sits up. Shango hits two more slams, but Undertaker sits up two more times. Shango hits a series of elbowdrops and sees if Undertaker is going to sit up again, which he doesn’t. Big running elbowdrop off the ropes by Shango, but when he goes to the corner, the Undertaker sits up, catches him with the flying clothesline off the ropes, and hits a chokeslam for the pin at 6:39. Match slowed down significantly after the outside brawling and the finish didn’t make any sense whatsoever. However, they didn’t stall around much and the action flowed pretty well, so I can’t complain that much. **
-Kamala decides to hand over his custom made bowling ball for a replacement ball, but instead of rolling the ball down to the pins, he carries it down the lane running full speed.
-16-Man Battle Royal:
This is from an episode of Monday Night Raw. Participants are Kim Chee, “El Matador” Tito Santana, “Terrific” Terry Taylor, Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, “The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon, Kamala, Tatanka, the Berzerker, Skinner, “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels, Typhoon, Damien Demento, and Bob Backlund. Michaels teases a few eliminations and Kim Chee avoids Kamala and that’s all that happens for a good few minutes as everyone else just pairs off and brails. Koko is the first eliminated (surprise, surprise) as he takes a charge at Michaels and takes a HIGH backdrop to the floor. I only count fourteen guys starting this thing off. Where do we get sixteen? Skinner taunts the crowd and Typhoon clotheslines him out from behind. Seems as if Michaels and Ramon are the favorite punching bags for the faces in this thing. Kamala dumps Demento off screen. Ross tries to add interest to the match talking about strategy developing, but it’s not really working. The Berzerker of all people dumps Owen and he’s dumped afterwards by Bob Backlund. Typhoon and an opportunistic Kim Chee try to dump Kamala, but it doesn’t work. However, they manage to accomplish the feat on the other side of the ring. Kamala comes back into the ring, though, and tosses Kim Chee out and the referee’s decide to count that as an elimination. I’ve always HATED that, but some things you just can’t change. That ruling is important later on, though. Kamala chases Kim Chee into the crowd of the Manhattan Center as the action continues in the ring. Evidently Backlund and Taylor were dumped while the cameras focused on the Kamala-Kim Chee chase (or it could’ve been during a commercial break, I can’t tell because if they clipped it they did it well). Typhoon avalanches Michaels against the buckles a few times, but Michaels backdrops him to the floor when he makes another charge. We are left with a final four of Michaels, Ramon, Tatanka, and Santana. Santana teams with Tatanka as Shawn does the same with Ramon and we get a Ramon-Santana match as well as a Tatanka-Michaels one on the other side of the ring. Santana manages to hit Ramon with the flying forearm after a struggle and Michaels takes out both of the faces while Ramon is recovering. However, Santana and Tatanka regain the advantage, ram Michaels into the buckle twice and both kick him out of the ring as he’s straddling the top rope after being whipped into the corner by the faces. We are left with an interesting faces-on-heel double-team until Giant Gonzalez arrives, throws out Tatanka and Santana after breaking up their attempt at eliminating Ramon, and then walks out of the ring over the top rope giving Ramon the victory at 13:08. How did Ramon avoid Gonzalez’s wrath? Well, he went under the bottom rope and hid outside the ring when the faces were taking a beating and Gonzalez left because he thought he eliminated everyone. By the way, who booked this battle royal? The people who were running the dysfunction that was WCW in 2000 evidently because that finish was a big copout and made no sense. Hard to rate battle royals and I try, but this one was really bad because it had too many “down periods” during eliminations. *½
-The Repo Man vs. Tatanka:
And now we return to midcard hell. Both men tussle into the corner and Repo unloads with a few shots against the ropes. Tatanka reverses a hiptoss into one of his own, gets a few dropkicks, and Repo chooses to bail to the apron after he’s whipped into the ropes. Tatanka takes Repo Man down to the mat, legdrops the arm, and then gets a wristlock to take Repo down. Shouderblock by Tatanka and a messed up bodypress off the ropes gets nothing. Well at least they didn’t try to play that off as if it was as devastating as a correct bodypress off the ropes. Tatanka tries a sunset flip and moves out of the way when Repo tries to hit him, so Repo hits the mat instead. Tatanka gets a schoolboy off of that for two. Repo pushes Tatanka into the corner when Tatanka has an armbar locked in, but Tatanka gets some reverse knife-edge chops. Reverse crossbody off the second rope eats canvas and Repo stomps away, something that makes sense because his arm is bad due to Tatanka working it over. Repo attaches an armbar, but the crowd doesn’t care that he’s on offense. Tatanka tries to escape, but Repo pulls him back down to the canvas by the hair. Repo hits on Tatanka’s arm, thereby negating all the psychology, and Tatanka gets a falling chop, but Repo is up first. Repo tries a second rope axehandle, only to get hit in the gut by Tatanka. Tatanka gets a knife-edge chop, clothesline, chops off the ropes, and a top rope chop gets two. Rollup against the ropes fails when Repo grabs them, but a right hand misses and Tatanka hits the Papoose to Go for the pin at 7:42. Just a squash match for Tatanka and if Repo had kept to the psychology it might have been a ½* better. *½
-Kamala looks to be finally ready to bowl. Kamala shakes his butt randomly which is funny and rolls the ball backwards, almost onto Slick’s foot.
-Main Event of the Tape: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect:
Funny bit as Flair’s name is spelled “Rick Flair” in the corner of the screen. Perfect takes Flair down after a lockup and Perfect slaps him. Shoulderblock by Flair, but Perfect uses a drop toe hold to take Flair down to the canvas. They go into the corner and Flair gets a knee in when the referee attempts to break it. Flair unloads in the corner and Hennig does a 360 degree sell off of being taken to the buckle. Perfect reverses a whip into the corner, gets a backdrop on the comeback, a dropkick, and then clotheslines Flair to the floor. Back in, Flair gets a thumb to the eye when Perfect tries to have a test of strength and he whips Perfect into the buckles causing another 360 sell. Flair with a snapmare and gets a kneedrop for two. Perfect goes into the buckle as Savage laments the fact that he lost his second WWF title to Flair and Heenan tries to rub it in. Flair gives Perfect a rope burn and uses him as a punching bag in the corner. Heenan cracks that Bret Hart’s WWF title win over Flair shouldn’t count because it wasn’t on television. LOL. Blind charge into the corner by Perfect eats boot, but Flair goes to the top rope so, of course, he gets slammed off and Perfect gets two off of it. Flair avoids an elbowdrop, though, and gets a kneebreaker. Flair immediately transitions into the figure-four, which I’d say is a terrible idea because he didn’t work the leg over until the kneebreaker, and then uses the ropes for leverage to get a few near-falls on Perfect. Perfect turns the figure-four and Flair finally releases the hold. Perfect sells the damaged knee and Flair kicks away at it. They exchange punches, chops, and slaps in the corner with Perfect getting the advantage. Perfect gets some reverse knife-edge chops in the corner and then uses some boxing punches to floor Flair. Flair begs off, but Perfect gets some second rope punches as the crowd counts along. Flair gets whipped into the corner and Perfect hits a backdrop on the rebound. Flair goes the Flair flip when he’s thrown into the corner a second time and Perfect goes through the bottom rope to the outside since he can’t go through the middle because of the knee (something Savage picks up on for commentary). Perfect rolls Flair in and back in, Perfect with a running forearm and gets the Perfect Plex when Flair ducks his head for a whip for the win at 10:50. Technically solid, but seemed to be lacking in terms of crowd involvement and psychology. ***½
-Slick says he’s disappointed that Kamala didn’t learn to bowl, but we see footage of a strike being recorded and Kamala making a loud sound in exhilaration. Slick then starts jumping around like crazy and he and Kamala celebrate as Hayes closes out the tape.
OVERALL TAPE RATING (BUST-****): *½. This tape simply doesn’t get it done as far as “wowing” you to any type of degree. Sure, the Bret-Michaels match and the Flair-Perfect match offer up rare ***½ gems on a Coliseum video release, but both pairs have had better matches that are available on other tapes. This was a generic Coliseum video release with “exclusive” epics like Undertaker-Ramon or Yokozuna-Earthquake and as such, there’s not much of an appeal to pick it up unless you’re an avid tape collector.
