Another week closer to the premiere of Lost and Desperate Housewives, and another edition of Notorious to write in the books. I’ve got some solid material here this week, but let me get some quick shots off:
— I really didn’t think New Orleans was going to make it through Hurricane Katrina, and I doubt I was the only non-Southerner glued to The Weather Channel in the wee hours of the morning, waiting for this thing to wipe New Orleans off the map. It sure put a hole in the Superdome, but besides that there didn’t seem to be much along the lines of biblical destruction.
— After watching TNA’s latest PPV Sacrifice and their talented roster do battle, it’s hard to go back to the WWE product and Raw is perfect evidence of that. A boring street fight between Edge/Hardy and an equally boring handicap match main event (the writers really need to stray away from handicap matches) makes for a putrid Raw no matter what, and it didn’t help that the Divas were given meaningless material this week, not to mention an unnecessary appearance from Alter Bridge, and this episode was just a whole bunch of nothing for me. I was excited to see the Impact commercial on during Raw, even if the timeslot is incredibly obscure.
— Speaking of WWE programming, I can guarantee you in the future months that Trapt’s latest single “Stand Up” will be used as a PPV theme. As an avid WWE watcher, you can’t listen to the song without picturing the video package that would go with it. When it’s the official theme for an upcoming PPV, I’d like to just get it out there that I told you so.
— And speaking of music, Iron Horse and Apocalyptica are two new bands that I’ve recently discovered. As far as specifics, Iron Horse’s bluegrass rendition of Metallica’s “Hero of the Day” is astounding and I just plain mark for a Faith No More cover by the metal symphony of Apocalyptica. Both “Hero” and “From Out of Nowhere” are recommended as must-finds.
In order to totally wear myself out with TV watching, I’ve decided to try and watch every new show premiering this fall, starting with Prison Break tonight. Past weeks have been sparse in the quick review department, as The 4400 and The Dead Zone are the last two standing. So I could definitely do with getting some extra shows in the arsenal. That being said…
Prison Break
Incredible concept? Check. Gritty ‘Oz’-like scenes thrust onto network TV? Check. ‘Oz’-like acting? Not quite. But the acting is JUST passable enough to keep me hooked on this show, of which I only caught the first hour because I decided to watch all of Raw instead of the second half of the Prison Break premiere. I’ll be sure to add my comments about the second half next week, but for now I have one major complaint: Dominic Purcell. I knew this guy would be a problem from the first time I noticed he was on the cast list. Sure enough, I find him to have as much charisma as a 2×4, and the bad acting really shines when the acting surrounding it is average at best. Once again, though, the concept is enough to help me see this through to its conclusion. Consider me hooked.
The 4400
An absolutely fantastic finale episode, as I find myself desperately in need of the next season premiere as soon as possible. For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, I won’t spoil it for you since I know what it’s like to have things spoiled, but I don’t know if I’d be able to find words anyway for the awesome things that happened in this episode, especially in the second half and the exceptional final few minutes of the episode. I can’t help but feel that this is the finale Lost fans were hoping for out of their show, even though the biggest secret is saved for last. Just an amazing, amazing episode that should be more than enough to bookend a fantastic season that should earn this show some looks for Best Drama Series, if not for Directing honors, etc.
The Dead Zone
Another Stillson episode, and I missed the mark in saying that Lily from the 4400 was guest starring on this episode. It’s just a girl who’s actually been on past episodes of The Dead Zone and looks a LOT like Lily (and actually shares the same first name). Anyway, this finale was very cryptic, especially the ending where Janus made it sound like Johnny Smith could still join forces with Stillson and Purdy, if I was reading correctly. The main storyline itself was just greasing the wheels of the Stillson machine once again, but the interesting twist of the mysterious men threatening to kill Johnny was a neat afterthought. Nowhere near as exciting as last season’s finale, but I’ve stuck by this show too long to just give up now. Long live Johnny, Maine Ranger.
And now for a ridiculous special feature that I’m going to include in every column until the next season premieres: Random Aqua Teen Hunger Force Review!
The rules are simple: I pick a number randomly from 1 to 55, review the episode representing that number, and present the review to you, the viewer. Why? I’m so excited for the next season of ATHF, the ridiculous lines and jokes and trends (“Do a search…for free pizza.”) that I can’t ignore the countdown to the season premiere.
The random number for this week is…46! Which means that this week’s Random ATHF Review is…
Gee Whiz
If I remember correctly, Adult Swim explained that this episode got a notice from Standards & Practices that it was too offensive. I’m not sure if it was the bulk of this episode that was offensive, or if it was a different episode entirely that had to be changed for being too offensive. Whatever the result, the Standards & Practices video in this episode, among other things, makes this one of my top five favorites in the ATHF series.
The Plot:
New Jerseyians are seeing the face of…you-know-who in the billboard for a gun store, and are gathering around it in worship. The Aqua Teens go off to do the same, with Master Shake looking for the almighty dollar and Meatwad seeking a Meat Craver’s Special. With the mild sauce. Meatwad ends up pregnant, and thus moody towards his roommates. Shake tries to convince Frylock that Gee Whiz is in the butt of the gun, but the Tree Wizard blocks the view and it’s time for Meatwad’s baby shower. Carl’s less than generous, but Frylock gets an ultrasound program to look at Meatwad’s baby…which turns out to be a bunch of baby spiders. Meatwad is locked inside the house as Gee Whiz finally makes his appearance…in the form of Ted Nugent. Nugent blows Carl up with an exploding arrow…on accident, and a rainbow grows out of Carl’s dead body to complete the happy ending.
Memorable lines:
“Do a search. For free pizza.” – Meatwad
“Standards and practices are a vital link in keeping good and funny ideas away from YOU, the television viewer.” – Standards & Practices Host
“That’s right, a happy and colorful rainbow. Although not nearly as funny, it’s guaranteed not to offend the black people. *buzzer* Ooh, did I say black? I meant to say…minorities? *ding*” – Standards & Practices Host
“By following the rules, you’re guaranteed to make a mediocre product that no one can relate to.” – Standards & Practices Host
“You know, starts with a J. Son of G. Died and went to H on the C.” “Died on the C…commode…commode! Elvis! It’s Elvis!” – Frylock, Meatwad
“Meatwad, the real Gee Whiz was a black man–I mean, African-American.” “Gee Whiz was American? Oh, that’s awesome. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” – Frylock, Meatwad
“Well, what’s that [The Holy Bible] say about me being pregnant?” “…Nothing!” “Well, they need to update it…’cause I’m pregnant.” – Meatwad, Frylock
“That is so cool! I always wanted a gender!” – Meatwad
“I was touched by the power…on my unit. In broad daylight. Starring Lou Diamond Phillips.” – Meatwad
“Oh, boy, I apologize. My hormones are going nuts. Now please, if you would, get the f— out of my way. I mean, how many times do I gotta f—in write ice cream on this f—in list, before someone gets their s— in gear, and brings home the f—in ice cream! Maybe I should get a steak knife, and etch it in your motherf—in forehead! How hard can it f—in be! Ice motherf—in cream! I guess that’s the price I pay for living with two f—in morons!” – Meatwad
“Who would make love to that? How do you make love, do you have a book or–how do you do it, I’m asking.” – Master Shake
“I guess it was an immaculate–” “–convection. Oven. And it done got a bun in it.” – Frylock, Meatwad
“Yeah, Fryman told me there. You sure you wasn’t raped?” “Nuh-uh, but I was raped with joy.” – Carl, Meatwad
That’s all I got for this week, but I’m going to jump zones for next week to wrestling once again, and I’ll probably have plenty more material after that. Gotta make up for the lack of 4400 and Dead Zone, right? Until then…
