Rasslin Roundtable: Friday Night SmackDown! Debut

Note: many of the below responses were submitted before it was announced that Friday’s Smackdown would be a one-hour show due to the Hurricane Katrina benefit concert being shown on UPN and other networks from 8 to 9pm EDT.

Chris Benoit (c) vs. Orlando Jordan – US Title

PK: This match will be another quick one. It’s time for a Benoit/Eddie feud, wouldn’t you say?
Winner – Benoit

Matthew Michael: Think he can get the win in under 20 seconds this time? Time to move OJ and Bradshaw into the Tag Team Division.
Winner – Benoit

Jed Shaffer: This whole angle has been f*cked from Day 1; booking Jordan to win hurt Benoit, then having Jordan lose in 23 seconds killed Jordan (and did nothing for the US Title). If they’re interested in saving face, odds are they’ll have Jordan last a goodly amount of time, but come up short. Cause there ain’t NO FRIGGIN’ WAY Benoit’s losing.
Winner – Our Lord & Savior

Josh Leeman: This might be strange, but am I the only one who thinks Jordan will re-gain the title? I don’t know, but I have a very bad feeling about this. I’m expecting Benoit to do the job.
Winner – Orlando Jordan

Mark Neeley: Like I stated in my SmackDown report, shouldn’t both men be better off without this foolish feud dragging out? Just get Benoit some serious title challengers and send OJ back to Saturday nights. Oh, Benoit wins and beats the 23 seconds.
Winner and STILL champion – Chris Benoit

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio – Steel Cage

PK: This has MOTY written all over it, unfortunetly, with SD only being 1 hour, it will probably be shorted. I expect Mysterio to keep the streak going.
Winner – Mysterio

Matthew Michael: Guerrero finally gets the win, and moves into his feud with Batista. Perhaps Orton helps Eddie out here and continues to feud with Rey … we’re not ready for Randy/Batista yet, and Eddie and Orton being the top two heels on the show not named Bradshaw, they have to pace themselves (unless Brock is indeed coming back).
Winner – Eddie

Jed Shaffer: Oh, for f*ck’s sake, WILL YOU PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, AND YOUR OWN SAFETY (before I hire an assassin), END THIS DAMNED FEUD ALREADY?!?
Winner – Latino Jesus (he needs at least ONE win to justify a World Title shot)

Josh Leeman: Who gives a shit anymore? Seriously, who cares? This garbage has been done to the death. Hopefully, this will be a good match, but I’ve noticed that both of these guys aren’t even working hard in their matches against each other. I’m sure Rey will bury Eddie again.
Winner – Rey Rey

Mark Neeley: Oh hell, this is still going on? I thought it was finally in the coffin… but I guess we have Theodore R Long to thank for this genious work of booking. Rey wins, but in reality everybody wins, because since we all won we are all happy, and we are all happy because this feud can die.
Winner – Rey Mysterio

LOD 2k5 (c) vs. MNM – WWE Tag Team Titles

PK: I wonder if this match will even happen now. Heidenreich went home, looking for his family, and I would like to think that WWE would let him take the time off. If this match does happen, LOD will keep the straps until another new young team hits the scenes.
Winners – LOD

Matthew Michael: I don’t think this match will happen with the show being cut down to an hour, AND with Heidenreich still in search of his family (in real life). But if it does, my money’s on LOD2k5 holding onto the belts, unfortunately. They just have too many heel tag teams on SD at the moment (Mexicools, Regal/Birchill, MNM and possibly JBL/OJ).
Winners – Heidenreich and Animal

Jed Shaffer: Hear that? That high-pitched squeal? That’s the sound of Hawk’s corpse, doing about 10,000 RPMs in his casket. If the WWE has any decency, they’ll end the Heidenreich/Animal abortion and put the titles back on MNM before they think it’s getting over and we see new rehashed gimmicks … like a new Razor Ramon … oops, too late.
Winner – Hawk’s soul

Josh Leeman: There’s no way in hell Team Hoss is going to lose yet. I’ll watch this for Melina’s “Entrance”, that’s all. I’m expecting a squash. If LOD 2K5 lose however, watch for a boring Heidenreich/Animal feud.
Winners – LOD 2K5

Mark Neeley: There is going to be one title change on this supershow, and this has to be it. Sure, the LOD 2k2 thing was cute and all, but Vince has enough brains to know that even marks don’t want to see Heidenreich & Animal beating jobbers every week on SmackDown. That + Friday nights equals bad, bad ratings. MNM win and regain the tag team gold, and it’s time to bring in new challengers.
Winners – MNM

Batista (c) vs. JBL – World Title – Bullrope Match

PK: Not too much to this one. Batista is not dropping the belt. If he drops the belt, that means this ugly feud will go on longer, and boy howdy do I hope that doesn’t happen.
Winner – Batista

Matthew Michael: DAVE losing is a huge mistake.
Winner – Batista

Jed Shaffer: So, let’s see … first match sucked. Second match sucked like a Mustang Ranch employee. A third match? I fear for the people in the arena … they may not be able to get out of this black hole’s gravitational pull.
Winner – Like you have to ask. Metrosexual Man!

Josh Leeman: Batista is no doubt in my mind, going to pick up the victory. Besides, why not bury Batista live on P.P.V. instead of free T.V. in a horrible timeslot?
Winner – Batista

Mark Neeley: Well, I guess the bullrope stipulation is a good addition to this feud, that way the match isn’t incredibly bland and painfull to watch. Still, I think it would have been smarter to maybe throw in a different title match, even if it didn’t have any build, instead of having yet another rematch featuring JBL, since we have seen the 2 go at it, well, enough. Despite all that, I would really like to see JBL win and add some spice to the title, but it ain’t gonna happen. Batista wins in record-breaking time similar to the way he finished Layfield off at SummerSlam.
Winner – Dave

Wildcard #1
Will Mr. Kennedy continue his undefeated streak?

PK: He would have, if SD was more then 1 hour. Now I expect him to be on Velocity to keep him fresh in our minds.

Matthew Michael: Of course he will … of course he will.

Jed Shaffer: The correct question is: Who cares? Who is this douchebag? Why is Regal shunted into some shitty tag team while this asswipe gets a singles push?

Josh Leeman: Yes. No point in ending the streak right now.

Mark Neeley: Unacceptable. Will MR. KENNEDEY, hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin continue his mighty undefeated streak? The answer is yes.

Wildcard #2
Will the Cruiserweight Title be defended? Or even mentioned?

PK: Not a snowball’s chance in hell.

Matthew Michael: With Paul London getting video time in the Friday Night Smackdown commercial, anything’s possible, but there won’t be a match due to time constraints.

Jed Shaffer: There’s a Cruiserweight Champion still? I thought they finally gave up on that nonsense!

Josh Leeman: Obviously not to both questions. They’re probably saving up for a lame 5 minute match on Velocity. The title is getting less and less prestige, notice that?

Mark Neeley: I don’t see why not. I mean, hell, probably half of the fans watching probably don’t even know Nunzio ever defeated Paul London to win the cruiserweight title. So sure, they might throw in a Nunzio-London rematch or Nunzio-Funaki title match, something like that.

Wildcard #3
Will The Undertaker answer Randy Orton’s call out?

PK: Of course, just not in person.

Matthew Michael: That’s how the show’s ending … need a cliffhanger to get people to “tune in next week.”

Jed Shaffer: With one of his amazing and spectacular ominous pre-taped promos that echo from the PA system? Of course!

Josh Leeman: Yup, and imagine Undertaker squashing Randy Orton, adding MORE to the meaningless feud.

Mark Neeley: Yes.