InsidePulse’s WWE Velocity Report

Without any jibber jabber…

Velocity Nostalgia pt. III

After covering much ground in Velocity nostalgia pts. I and II in the previous weeks, this week we go deep in the dephts of the many changes of the Velocity announce PBP team, hair cutting, more Bob, and much more… but first, after it becoming a big hit last week (congratulations by the way to whoever won last week with the correct answer of Hardcore Holly), the return of Velocity trivia, and remember the rules of the first person e-mailing me with the correct answer gets a surprise gift.

Velocity Trivia Question #2.

Q. Who once cut off some of Rico’s hair in a Velocity match?

Velocity Announce Team

Of course we have the permanent good trooper Josh Mathews, but who else has dawned the chair on Saturday nights? Well, there was Bill Demott for a while, who was here in the days of the A-Train and Jamie Noble era. And you had “the Cat” Miller. Tazz and Michael Cole filling in from time to time, and now joining us, the late Steve Romero.

And of course… where would Velocity be without those trademark Josh Mathews quotes?

Lets showcase some of the best:

“I am man enough to admit this… I am falling in love with Simon Dean.”

“Do do do do do! Mushroom stomp by London! See? There’s TWO video game references, first Pac-Man and now Super Mario Bros!”

“I know! It’s probably cause’ you’re so old and my grandpa doesn’t stay up late enough to watch Velocity to tell me about it!”

“Well let me tell ya something sweetheart!”

-From: Atlanta, Georgia
-Hosts: Josh Romero & Josh Mathews

Booker T vs. Steven Richards
Well, at least now we don’t have to worry about the bWo invading Velocity. After Booker gets in the dominaton offense Richards gets some chops to turn the tables, and skins the cat after an eye poke. Bow & arrow stretch applied by Richards but Booker stands out of it and gets a stiff kick to break it. Another eye poke by Richards but Booker does his usual no selling and gets in some of his vintage offense for 2. Scissor Kick ends it 8 minutes in.
Winner: Booker T
*, and it is kind of scary how the whole Sharmell angle has been dropped to level of Velocity, even though that’s where it should have been in the first place.

Commercials.

Our first SmackDown cut in is MNM vs. LOD 2k2 for the tag team titles, which is pretty interesting seeing footage from the first hour of SmackDown.

And in all honesty, i’m pretty pissed about the whole LoD 2k2 crap. It is something that motivates me to turn the channel during SmackDown, LOD 2k2 squashing jobber tag teams, so take that for what you will, creative team. At least it adds SOMETHING to the already dead tag divison, which is “L-O-D” chants from the crowd. Bleg.

Commercials.

Sylvain vs. Matt Johnson
So I would be fibbing if I said I don’t like Sylvain. Not Greinier, it’s just Sylvain these days. I mean, the “Bobby” angle he did on Bobby Holly was priceless. I laughed for days. Johnson misses a crossbody to the outside, which is pretty big for Saturday night wrestling. Johnson actually got in quite a bit of offense in this one, some dropkicks, an in-ring crossbody. A faceplant ends it.
Winner: Sylvain
1/4*, i’m done with giving squashes a rating breaking the 3/4* plain, or any benefit of the doubt for that matter. Even if they do involve Regal.

Commercials.

And for rant time, when the hell did Sho Funaki get a push worthy of not competing on Velocity every week? Lets face it, people. Sho Funaki is THEE World Heavy Weight, Undisputed, any kind of Champion you can come up with for Velocity. So, where is my man? I cut him some leeway for moving up to job to JBL a couple weeks back on SD, but his absense here is obscure. Unacceptable in the word of Mr. Kennedey, who also won’t be with us this week after his match with Paul London Friday.

So that means no London, no Kendrick this week. I guess our hopes of Velocity returning to it’s cruiserweight roots last week are down the drain, although maybe the WWE creative team should take JR’s advice from his recent Ross Report and certainly “PUSH THE CRUISERS!”

Commercials.

SmackDown highlight #2 of the super creative finish of the JBL-Batista bull rope Championship match.

Commercials.

Super Crazy & Psicosis vs. Nunzio & Vito
Nunzio goes technical on Crazy to start and dodges an uppercut. Crazy gets a pair of arm drags and hip toss however, and dropkick for a 2 count. Nunzio gets the desperate tag to Vito who gets dropkicked by the illegal Psicosis. Vito however barely sells and gives Crazy a big slam, tag to Nunzio who pins for 2. Psicosis with a dirty shot on Nunzio allowing a back drop by Super Crazy. Psicossis in who gets a spin kick and covers twice for 2. Crazy tagged back in and a double team slam gets 2. Vito drops Crazy to the outside and Nunzio rolls him back in for 2. Vito in who gets a scoop slam and the elbow drop for 2. Nunzio in who locks in the rear-naked choke. After getting outof it, Crazy gets a big kick out of the corner and leg scissors but Nunzio no-sells and tags in Vito. Vito drags Crazy away from the tag and him and Nunzio get a double hip toss. Nunzio takes a chin lock to the ground. Crazy gets out and hits flap jack ablginh im to make the lukewarm tag. Get out the brooms, it’s time for SWEEP HOUSE. Well it’s interupted when Vito interferes, but Vito gets dumped and it’s down to Nunzio & Psicosis, and Psicosis nails the top rope leg drop for the finish.
Winners: Super Crazy & Psicosis
*1/4, it’s really hard to see a match like that go to waste when Super Crazy was the active man 97% of the match and had to sell like hell.

End of show.

The Aftermath: For a lot of reasons, this week’s show sucked which is sad to see since the days of Saturday Night Fever are winding down. Curse ya creative team.

Hope you guys enjoyed this week as well as The NeelDown.