The SmarK Rant for Prison Break – Episode Four

The SmarK Rant for Prison Break: Episode Four

“Cute Poison”

“Wanna know what they mean?”
“Yeah.”
“Nothing.”
– Mike wages a war of wits with the unarmed.

Well, the good news for Lincoln to start the show is that he’s apparently out of the hole. The bad news is that they haul him to the chair and strap him in. Ah, but it’s just a dream. Too bad, that would have been a REALLY shocking twist, in more ways than one.

Mike, meanwhile, has trouble working on his toilet because Haywire, his new crazy cellmate, never sleeps. And he’s also happier in prison and won’t take the “help me escape” bait. And he’s also obsessed with Mike’s radical tattoos. “Mind if I, you know, look at the whole thing?” Now there’s a pick-up line you can try if you’re ever in prison.

Your tattoo of the weak is “Cute Poison,” referring to some sort of chemical compound which Mike has memorized from the outside world. Mike wants to get started on the next stage of the plan, but Haywire is preventing it, and Abruzzi isn’t terribly sympathetic to his cellmate issues.

The Pope, on the other hand, is a bit more open to suggestions, thanks to Mike’s help building his palace. However, C.O. Bellick (the evil guard) is the one who makes housing decisions. Unless abuse or sexual predators are involved. I think we can see where this is going.

Veronica takes over as Linc’s lawyer, and he tips off to Project Justice, a legal group that specializes in death row cases. Great, more people for the Secret Service to kill off.

Haywire gets more obsessed with the tattoos, while the Pope wants Bellick to take over as warden when he retires. Sucre gets a visit from Hector, the guy who has been stepping out with his chica, homes. Apparently Hector is a bad person, despite Sucre being the guy locked up in prison.

We learn that “Cute Poison” is a mnemonic device for an acid resulting from combining two chemicals, one of which Mike steals from the supply room. More funny reactions from Haywire, which produce the above quote.

Sucre’s girl trouble continues, as her biological clock is ticking. She’s gonna be 30 in a few years, you know! Sucre is all “Hey, I’ll be out in 16 months, so stop having sex with other guys until then!” but apparently that reasonable demand isn’t good enough for her.

Veronica visits Project Justice, but gets nowhere. It does, however, give the Secret Service time to ransack her home and find a connection between Linc and Mike.

Haywire moves onto trying to sneak a peak at Mike’s tattoos while he sleeps, which is just hilariously creepy. Mike steals his toothpaste, although probably not in retaliation, which drives Haywire even crazier.

Veronica questions the cop who arrested Lincoln, and finds some inconsistency in his testimony. There’s some really weird ethics behind this show — thus far all the authority figures have been corrupt, incompetent, or just liars, and most of the prisoners are portrayed as noble and probably innocent. Veronica gets some unexpected help from one of the Project Justice lawyers, although he’ll probably be dead by the next episode, because he smells a rat.

Mike gets some drain cleaner to mix with his other chemicals, and is now armed with Dual Toothpaste Tubes of Death. Sucre, meanwhile, is desperate to get out and knock up his girl, so he makes nice with Mike and wants back into the plan again. Haywire, however, draws Mike’s tattoo piece by piece, so Mike has had enough and fakes an attack by slamming his own head into the bars. Now that’s dedication.

So Sucre is back in the cell with Mike again, to the non-delight of Bellick. Mike dumps his chemical stew into the drain of the infirmary, and unpleasant-looking stuff starts happening to it. Linc tells his legal team his side of the story, and it seems that the blood-soaked pants he was found with were planted there. And so was the gun. And his fingerprints. And the videotape was forged. Right.

We get some clarification on the escape plans while Mike busts through the wall (with help from a distraction by Sucre), but as Mike tastes his first whiff of freedom, we learn that the SS is having him transferred TOMORROW.