Remote Destination

Finally!

The TV Guide Fall Preview finally came out. Up until then I had to deal with Entertainment Weekly’s version. Not that it’s bad or anything, it’s just that I’ve been using the TV Guide version for the past couple of years and I’ve grown attached to it’s format. Now I can finally get a good nights rest.

What I Watched Last Week

Rescue Me – Y’know upon further thought, this whole season was a pretty cheap buildup for the finale. Tommy gets his life in order, only for things to fall tragically apart. Boo. Franco is heartbroken, the con artist leaves with the money. There’s a lot of talk in the He-Man Woman Haters Club that this show is the best show ever. It’s only “eh” in my book.

Over There – Wow, what a downer of an episode. It sucks that the soldiers are used as pawns of a larger scheme. Glad to see Mrs. B got her act together and that Bo is getting better. Regardless; “your mom is a whore” was my official insult of the week.

Starved – Interesting finale. A new support group. The inner circle is in shambles. I dig the concept of the Breathearians. But in all honesty I really don’t need for this show to return.

Prison Break – I swore that Haywire was a goner. That what differentiates this show from Oz, active murder. In fact how many people have we actually seen die? We’ve lost one toe and had a self head bashing. I never thought I’d say it, but I miss the good ol’ days of sodomy.

Ah who am I kidding? I’ve been lamenting the lack of ass rapes for months. Still the season is young (fingers crossed).

Real Time With Bill Maher – Funny episode. I got some more news on current events. I got to laugh. Bill’s new rules were funny. This was just a good time spent.

Rome– Still at a loss for character names, but man this show is really hard on marriages. Either adultery or murder, it sucks to be a husband in Rome. Very good episode, and I’m officially hooked.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Principal Belding accused of molestation? What a season finale! Clearly this was inspired by the Reid/Erhardt proposed Saved By The Bell in Oz, but they really pulled it off. Charlie’s uncle was creepy, in a funny way. And having

The Simpsons – Marge’s manatee hypothetical was by far the funniest line of the week. Smithers and Burns having a water fight while hosing down a manatee was hilarious. I don’t care what anyone says, The Simpsons is way better than Family Guy

Family Guy – Um, I just said that The Simpsons was way better, why would I waste my time watching an inferior product?

Worst Show Ever…this week – Reunion

Oh. My. God. This show sucked. It was horrible. It was so bad that I was actually writing my gripes down during the episode. It was so bad that I was relieved that G-Dub was going to address the nation. This show was total crap. A complete waste of time and hype. Man, I really hope this show is the next Push, Nevada.

Five Reasons Why Reunion Was So Horrible

#1 – Completely Unrealistic

Last time I checked, negligence on behalf of a hospital was still a crime and I’m pretty sure that passenger, whose side was hit by the car would have died or certainly been more injured. Not to mention that the police probably would have found a way to actually ascertain who was driving the vehicle. It’s absurd that these things weren’t addressed.

#2 – Trying Too Hard

“Wham is the next Beatles.” Lines like that reek of trying too hard to cement the time period. It’s like the writers are saying, “see, this really is taking place in 1986.” Overcompensation is never appropriate.

#3 – Not Enough Set Up

Um, is this a murder mystery? Surely there would have been a way to give a decent set up in the present without divulging too many secrets. All I know is that someone is dead in the present, I don’t even know if they were killed. Boo. This brings me to my next point.

#4 – Unsympathetic Characters – I don’t care if they were killed. The rich dude is annoying. The poor dude is stupid. The nerdy guy is a herb, and all the females look alike. I don’t care who is dead and I don’t care how they died. (Note to Fox: did we really need another show about six white folks?)

#5 – Terrible Acting and Writing

I didn’t believe one performance in the entire episode. It was like even the actors didn’t think the pilot would get picked up. And the writing? “So why don’t you tell me about 1987?” Hey writers, we already understand the premise of the show, you don’t need to telegraph that the next episode will deal with a new year. Lazy writing.

This show sucks. I hope it’s a high profile casualty of ratings.

Aliens vs Androids

Last week I posed the following scenario;

Good News; you’ve got a house in a nice neighborhood. Bad News; you’ve got nosey neighbors. Good News; you’re pretty financially stable. Bad News; you’re about to get another addition under the roof. Maybe there was birth control slip up. Maybe you’ve invented an incredibly lifelike robot. Perhaps an alien crash-landed in your garage. Or maybe you’ve decided to adopt a couple of wisecracking Black orphans. Who knows? The point is you’ve got some a new person living under your roof.

So would you rather have Alf (Alf) or Vicki (Small Wonder) living under your roof?

Colin came through in a clutch with some pretty sound logic;

I think Alf is the way to go. Who cares about some dopey robot girl? I don’t care if she is obedient. Everyone needs a smart aleck alien. Who eats cats. Get him drunk; that would be the ticket. Hilarity.

Aaron comes out of left field using some ODB-style thinking;

I thought I’d get my Friday fix by letting you know that it’s Vicki, and it’s not even close. True story: In Junior High, I actually went to school with a girl who had a recurring role on the show. She played the ambiguously gay son’s unattainable love interest. Funny thing is this chick who was supposed to play a hot schoolgirl, actually had really hairy arms. It was the freakiest thing. A 12 year old with arms like Robin Williams’ chest. Not sure what this has to do with me picking Vicki over Alf, though. But, it’s late and I don’t need to give you anything more compelling than “I had a few classes with a girl who was on ‘Small Wonder’

Yeah. Aaron, thanks for sharin’.

As for me, I’m going with Alf. First off I’m allergic to cats, which kind of translates into hatred. Secondly, I’d have to be out in the open with Vicki, which might raise some eyebrows. With Alf I just have to keep him on the low. Plus he’s a bit more witty. Vicki can’t keep up her end of the conversation and she’s too literal thinking. Alf it is.

Natually that leads us to…

Good News/Bad News/Question of the Week

Good News; you’ve got a job. Bad News; you have to show up every day. Good News; your work environment is, well, interesting. Bad News; your boss is a bit, well, eccentric. Maybe he’s a spendthrift millionaire. Maybe he’s a tightwad millionaire. Maybe he’s creepy and hits on your wife. Who knows? The point is he’s your boss and you’ve got to deal with him.

So would you rather work for Jimmy James (Newsradio) or Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons)?

Links

Kevin is comparing Prison Break to 24 and not in a good way.

Farah anticipates premiers.

Matt shares his thoughts on Reunion.

J.A.M.

“J” is for Joe, who is all over the place. On His Blog he covers sports and college life. He also did his usual Movies Beat. This week he even adds TV to his repertoire. The man is amazing.

“A” is for Aaron. No Bootleg again this week. However Aaron does manage to contribute to another Zone. I’ll give you hint it starts with an “S” and ends in “ports.” He put together another multipart feature. Part One, Two, Three and Four with Part Five, ironically, forthcoming.

That’s going to do it for me. I’ll catch y’all next week.

Laters.