Unforgiven: Rabble Edition

What I’ve felt…
What I’ve known…
Never shined through in what I’ve shown.

The WWE..
sucks mercifully..
The Rabble presents you
Unforgiven

Welcome kids to the PPV Report that pops at sarcasm, it’s the Unforgiven Rabble. Joining us on this most stellar event of nothing in particular is a smallllll crowd. Why small, because it’s a horrible show, and nobody cared –

The man who wants Angle to win – Hernandez
The girl who wants Cena to win – Jenna
The girl who wants a champ she can see – Dani
The man who wants INTENSITY, INTEGRITY, and INTENSITY – Me

“Tonight three titles will be decided” – Jim Ross
“Even though we have like… eight..” – Me

Starting the show off though..
“I miss Bill” – Me
“Ric Flair wins… WOOOOOO!” – Bill, who we called.

WOOOOOoooooo! It’s Ric Flair. So to open the show we have the Intercontinental title match. Fine, I guess the crowd pop is strong enough for Flair that it makes it ok. So here comes the NATCHA Boy…

Ric Flair vs. Carlito
Give an old man a bone…

Lock up to start, and Flair starts with a nice sideheadlock takedown. Carlito rolls out and they go right back to their feet. Another sideheadlock takedown. Carlito rolls out and gets woo’d at.

“Is the woo a taunt or an X Button move?” – Hernandez

They toss some ropes, and the shouldercheck drops down Flair so Carlito does the Flair strut. They get back to their feet, Flair spins him to a wristlock, and Carlito holds to the corner. After a bunch of taunts, Carlito finally gets the upperhand and starts in the corner with Flair, but eats a thumb to the eye, but somehow gets a clothesline on him.

Ladadee – Ladadah, Flair goes for a pin, but gets tossed out of the ring. Trust me, it happened… I blinked, no idea. So they fight on the outside and Carlito does the shoulder ram to the turnbuckles for two. He throws in Flair and gets 2 on the pin – moving right into the armlock.

“So far… not excited with the opener.” – Hernandez
“Did you really expect this to be a high impact show?” – Me

Flair climbs up to his feet, and gets a chop.

“WOO!” – Me

Gets two.. Another chop, and a hair pull drops the legend. Carlito then charges in with closed fists. The crowd is into it though, with an arena chant of ‘Lets Go Flair!’ Carlito grabs Ric, tosses him to the corner.. back body drop and two count.

“My salad is really yummy. You should write that…” – Dani

We move RIGHT into another set of hold spots. Flair fights against to his feet, and holds onto the ropes as Carlito tries to take him down, sending Carlito to his ass – and now the tide changes. Chops, elbow, and a clothesline send Carlito down again… Flair kneedrop, and Flair goes to the top…. the CROWD is even chanting ‘NO!’ Carlito runs over… here comes the – NO!

FLAIR THUMBS THE EYE! FLAIR LEAPS OFF THE BUCKLE! FLAIR GETS THE DOUBLE AX!

I swear to god, the announces, the crowd, and Flair himself seem amazed.. he gets a standing ovation for this. Sadly, he then goes to the other turnbuckle and as he leaps – gets dropkicked midair. Carlito bails to the outside – he grabs the belt, and as he’s about to run in with the belt, eats a chop to the throat. Flair grabs the legs… Figure Four!

Carlito taps! Flair wins it!

WINNER AND NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: RIC FLAIR!

I was just about to call Bill, and they gave him the mic.
“…MEDIC!?” – Hernandez
“Is he retiring?” – Me

“My first one, and baby, lemme tell you this is as sweet, to the Natcha’ Boy… as the 16 world titles.” – Flair
“Givin’ it the rub…” – Hernandez
“I’m just sad that the greatest wrestler today, Triple H isn’t here to see it.. but tonight we gonna party ALL NIGHT LONG!” – Flair

Flair then runs to the outside, and grabs a girl and kisses her. Then grabs a bunch of other girls from the audience and heaves them over the top and brings to the back… he does this with 5 different girls.
“They’re plants.. they are all wearing heels.” – Dani
“Only a girl would have caught that detail…” – Me
“Her and Bruce Wayne.” – Hernandez

In the back, Lita is giving Edge a massage. They elude to how they were doing each other when Matt was sick in the hospital.
“She’s wearing a fishnet shirt, think she’s going back with Matt?” – Dani
“Wow, if that happens – it proves the new writers are women.” – Me

Victoria, Candace, and Torrie all come down to the ring. Torrie is carrying a lil white puppy and it’s so cute, they are all matching in goldish kind of outfit.

Now Trish comes out in a ripped t-shirt and shorts – and what at first we thought was her kneebraces, which actually appear to be legwarmers… Ashley though looks awesome in the smallest skirt ever, camo top, and those kneehigh fishnets…. I feel dirty.
“Wow, Oh What A Feeling.. Trish, 80s much?” – Dani

VICTORIA & TORRIE vs. TRISH & ASHLEY
Boobies and Trish wins match

Torrie starts in the ring with Trish.. but tags in Victoria. They lock up, Victoria locks in a waist lock, and hits a back bridge suplex for two. Trish gets tossed to the corner. She leaps up, Victoria catches her legs.. and a picture perfect hurricanrana gets two. Trish tosses Victoria into the corner and a tag to Ashley.

Ashley hits a couple boots to the gut, and then gets tossed into the corner by Victoria. She leaps as Victoria charges, combat roll and a clothesline from Ashley. She then does a handplant leap and a dropkick.. kind of useless, but pretty. Candace tries to take advantage, but Trish makes sure Ashley gets in there.

In the ring Ashley is stuck with Victoria, she eats a legdrop. Then a headlock.
“I think the crowd is cheering for the gratuitous crotch shot” – Dani
“I was enjoying it.” – Me

Victoria tags in Torrie, who gets two hits in and then tags back Victoria. Very good that they are not letting Torrie in there too often. Ashley goes time and time again to the corner, but Victoria keeps catching her.. taunting Trish. She puts Ashley in a front headlock, and Ashley GETS THE TAG… but the ref was flirting with Torrie. Awwwwww..

Victoria climbs to the top turnbuckle, and Ashley hits the ropes. While Victoria is picking turnbuckle out of her lovenest, Ashley gets the tag… Trish goes NUTZ! Handstand and leg scissors sends Victoria down. She gets a bunch of flippy moves and the Matrix-Fall as Torrie comes to charge in. She goes for the clothesline, but gets caught by Victoria. Trish leaps up, and her arms around Victoria – her legs around Torrie – spins out BOTH of them. Trish then wins… with the Chick Kick.
“THEY ARE ACTUALLY CALLING TRISH’S FINISHER THE CHICK KICK?!?!?” – Me
“…I’m… actually offended by that… wow.” – Dani

WINNER VIA STUPID MOVE: TRISH & ASHLEY

In the back, Ric helps his ladies into the limosine. He tells them he’s taking them to the waterpark… you know.. Space Mountain.. woo… They get into the limo and he takes out a bottle of medicine..
“HE’S GOING TO DRUG THEM!” – Hernandez
“Roofies?!” – Dani
“I love that man.” – Me

Nope.. he took em’ Viagra… funny bit.

So after the new Raw on USA commercial – they introduce that ZZ Top is here.. and HEERE COMES THE BIIIIG SHOW!

Big Show vs. Snitsky
WOOO!… sorry, still giggling

Show walks around, shows some praise to ‘ZZ Top’ and here comes Snitsky. Snitsky comes in and they just begin the fight… that’s that. Ding.

Show gets Snitsky in the corner and the first chop of the match. He tosses Snitsky right to the middle of the ring. Headbutt.
“Is Vince creaming his pants right now?” – Dani
“This is the first time he’s done this in awhile.. so yeah.” – Me
“So, given their size and stature, doesn’t that make this close to Hogan vs. the Giant.” – Dani
“Yep.. very good.” – Hernandez/Me
“Are you watching him type that?” – Hernandez
“Yeah, because it’s better than watching this match…” – Dani

So after I’ve typed all of that, I look up and Snitsky is rolling out of the ring. Show follows, but eats a boot. Snitsky grabs him and throws him into the ring post. They both roll in and we move to a headlock.
“Snitsky’s getting a little pudgy.” – Hernandez
“Yeah.. too many babies.” – Dani

So.. during that headlock.. they showed a flashback to 3 weeks ago!?!?!?
“Why the hell did they do that?!” – Hernandez
“Because 3 weeks ago, you were just as bored….” – Dani

Show breaks the headlock and goes for the chokeslam, but gets denied. He spins Snitsky around, and gets the set-up again. Denied. Snitsky sends Show into the corner, and gets a belly to back suplex!?! They show the replay..
“This happened 3 weeks ago?” – Hernandez
“It would be great if they said 3 years ago and showed Brock Lesner..” – Dani
“Or if they showed a flashback and it was Snitsky in high school” – Hernandez

Show fights out of a holdspot, and gets the spinebuster, but Show just tips over… selling his back I guess. The ref is counting it out with both men on their back. SHOW GETS A KICK-UP!?!?!?!? He used the ropes to help.. but still THE BIG SHOW GOT A KICK-UP?!?! Clothesline, shouldercheck, and the Chokeslam.

WINNER: THE BIG SHOW

Show heads out.. stops, ponders.. reads some Sun Tsoo… makes a sandwich… comes back, and grabs the ring bell – as we saw in the flashback from 3 weeks ago, mid match. He then QWANGS Snitsky with this a few times.
“Big Show doesn’t forgive and forget…” – JR
“YOU KNOW WHY?! Because this is.. UNFORGIVEN!!!! Oh yeah.. I went there.” – Dani

*Interuption broadcast*

Hello Rabble, it is I Dani hijacking the Rabble Report, just because I can. YOu see our fearless typer Jamie is at the moment taking a smoke break and has left his computer unmanned. So I felt the need to say Hello to all you fine sexy Rabblers. Hi!

And now back to Jamie.

Sign of the night: Kerwin stole my sweater.

That’s right though.. like David Duke.. it’s the white choice. Plus that guy that you can’t be stopping now.

KERWIN WHITE vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN
A fabulous yellow shirt match… Kerwin has some great outfits

After Kerwin hangs up his sweater, he tries to get in the ring, but Shelton slides out of the ring and slams Kerwin headfirst to the ring. Drags him in and the bell rings. First thing Benjamin pulls off Kerwin’s shirt, tosses it – and then starts tossing him to the ropes for a couple of hiptosses. After the 3rd one, Kerwin ducks, but Shelton catches him for a powerslam. He picks him up ….
“Ebony…” – Michael

and gets clipped in the knee…
“..and Ivory.” – Michael

Kerwin now has the advantage and starts working on Shelton’s leg. Coach starts yelling at the Spanish announce team… and for some reason, we are left listening to the spanish team. They had a bunch of nearfalls, but then the moment of the night. Kerwin leaps up and gets a 720 spin for a flying headscissors on Shelton.
“He IS still Chavo…” – Hernandez

Chavo .. err.. Kerwin takes a bow and goes after Shelton, but Shelton catches a samoan drop!
“I didn’t realize.. this is a really good match..” – Dani
“It is.” – Me
“I was blinded by the gimmicks..” – Dani

So some exchanges back and forth with Kerwin finally getting the upperhand by continuing to clip the leg. Shelton fights his way to the top turnbuckle, and gets the slam on Shelton, moving on with a half-crap. Shelton fights for the ropes, but Kerwin walks it back to the center.
“K. White really looks good.” – The Coach
“KY?” – Michael
“I heard KY, too.” – Dani
“The Sequel?” – Me

Shelton rolls him out, to the outside. Kerwin comes back in, hidden golfclub in tow. Shelton grabs him and hits the Tbone… 1 .. .2 … 3…

WINNER: SHELTON BENJAMIN

In the back, the scar represents the symbol or something or another… as Todd says “Apparently there is something between you and Edge and Lita…”
“Has Todd ever watched wrestling?” – Me

And now the steel cage is being lowered… Woo!

We get the LONG set-up for Edge/Matt and YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME! And still, no Matt facts… these things sadden me. He could so be Matt Version 2.

EDGE vs. MATT
Steel Cage Of Doooooooooooom!

Eye to eye staredown. Lock up, and they roll around the ring in the lock-up.. and for some reason the ref seems to ask them to break it. Why does he care!? Anyway, closed fists and Matt grabs Edge to try and send him face to cage.. denied. Edge then tries the same thing, but it doesn’t work. So Matt just clocks him one. He tosses Edge to the corner, and Edge leaps and starts CLIMBING!
“Well who is a little sneaky guy?” – Dani

They fight on the top turnbuckle now, and headbutts send Edge to the ground. Matt follows up with a leap onto Edge, but Edge starts crawling to the door. Matt locks in a sideheadlock – and Edge gets a sidesuplex.. but Hardy HOLDS ON, noselling the entire affair. Matt picks up Edge, sideheadlock, take down and we’re holding off in the middle of the ring.

Edge stops it with a thumb to the eye. Edge doesn’t like that.. not at all, so he begins stomping all over Matt.
“Matt Hardy will not die.” – JR Ross
“Did you know that Matt Hardy will not die?” – Dani
“Breaking news… Matt Hardy just died.” – Hernandez

Edge picks him up and Matt leaps with a clothesline, and hits the top turnbuckle for a FLYING clothesline.
“Remember when Matt Hardy died.. that was cool.” – Dani

Matt sizes him up for the Twist of Fate, Edge pushes him out, Matt’s face bounces off the cage and Matt gets pulled headfirst to the canvas. Edge now climbs the cage, but Matt climbs up after him… they are now fighting on the top of the cage. They fight up to the top turnbuckle, Matt goes for the side-effect (*cough* Rock Bottom), but Edge bashes Matt’s back of his head and Matt falls to the ring.

Edge goes for a bulldog, and a HORRIBLE miss… Hardy falls, and Edge moves.
“That deserves the ultra slow clap… oh yeah…” – Dani

Coach tries to cover up, but Edge continues on – beating the hell out of Matt Hardy, to the point where they sell Matt’s injuries where he is swinging blindly in the ring. Edge throws Matt headfirst into the turnbuckle, boots him in the face.
“Edge is turning Matt into Eugene!” – Me

Solid DDT right in the ring… Pin for 2. A couple more 2 counts. Edge picks up Matt for the powerbomb and rams him right into the cage. Then picks him up again to get thrown into the turnbuckle.
“Setting up for the tree of OWWW!” – Michael

Edge now watches and sizes Matt up time and time again. Each time is another boot to Matt’s face. He sent Matt up on the top turnbuckle, and goes for a backsuplex, but Matt elbows out of it. Edge though gets up and sets himself up underneath Matt… SUPER POWERBOMB!
“Yep, Matt just came back to get his ass kicked repeatedly.” – Dani

Edge gets the two count… he’s upset. He brings Matt to the corner and drops the fists all over him.. and the ref AGAIN starts counting it. I want to kick that ref’s ass.. did they not explain to him how a cage match works?
“So what’s the reality of what’s going on right now?” – Laura
“They are all getting paid a lot of money..” – Me

Edge misses with the briefcase, and Matt now is going nuts! Matt ties up Edge in the ropes, the REF TRIES TO STOP HIM!?!?! But Matt continues to fight and fight, fists flying. He then monkey flips Edge RIGHT into the cage. Bulldog.
“Lita’s pleading outside the ring.” – Lawler
“Bleeding?” – Michael
“Why’s she bleeding?” – Dani
“That time of the month.” – Michael

Matt goes and does the four sides of the cage with Edge’s face. JR refers to Edge as a lawn dart and a javelin, and finally.. Edge is bleeding. Now it’s Hardy with the boot’s to the face… Edge is ripped open nice. Matt grabs the case.. he climbs the top – but Edge stops him. It looks like there was supposed to be a ref bump… I can’t tell – the ref is horrible!!! Edge goes for the top rope.. he climbs up. Matt gets there quick enough.. Side Effect!!!

Outside, Lita is fighting for a chair, and as Matt gets the pin.. 1… 2… LITA leaps onto Matt!
“Oh, come on.. seduce him.” – Dani

Edge crawls for the door, Matt catches him and as Lita is charging him with the case.. he ducks and hits the Twist of Fate on Lita… out of nowhere SPEAR from Edge. 1…. 2…. NO!!!!!!! Edge now goes to climb – and again they fight on the top, this time Matt gets to the top turnbuckle… he is standing at the top. HERE IS THE BIG SPOT! IT’S BEEN AWHILE!!!!!!!

MATT HITS THE LEG DROP! SQUARE ON THE NECK OF EDGE! THAT’S IT!

WINNER: MATT HARDY — FINALLY!
“Matt ‘I can’t feel my legs’ Hardy” – Michael
“Matt ‘Glad I live on a first floor apartment’ Hardy” – Michael

This match is by far the bestest cage match I have seen in years. Big ups for both men. Great stuff.

In the back though Cena is getting his feet wrapped up. Bischoff mocks him. Hilarity ensues.

Out front though, Edge is crawling up the walkway to the curtain.

“Awww got my beltbuckle on..” – Dani
“Garth Brooks and groupie..” – Jenna
“Rejects from the new Dukes of Hazzard.” – Hernandez

Here comes Cade and Murdoch.

CADE & MURDOCH vs. ROSIE & HURRICANE
Tag Team Title Match

Hurricane is starting in with Cade. Cade charges in and drops Hurricane to the mat with elbows to his back. A textbook slam, and then misses an elbow. Hurriane takes advantage, leapfrog, drop down – and a Hurritaunt!

Cade tags in Murdoch and Hurricane hits him, sends him to Rosie who.. hits him, back to Hurricane who leg scissors him right out of the ring.
“I wanna play with the bunnies George..” – Michael

Cade comes back in to start with the hits on Hurricane, a tag to Cade and now Hurricane gets the edge again. Missle dropkick. Tag to Rosie, drop toehold and Rosie splashes him. Murdoch is taking a beating.

I get into an argument with Dani about the hotness of something in the magazine that she’s reading… and I come back to watch Murdoch macking on Lillian Garcia.. apparently in the ring Rosie and Cade are in a long hold spot. Hurricane charges in and saves the honor of the fair damsal… and Howard Finkle thanks him. Sadly, he eats a DDT from the ring apron to the floor..

In the ring, Rosie starts to fire himself up and charge in after Cade, who moves. Tag to Murdoch and a pin for two. Murdoch drops the elbow, drops the leg. Outside, apparently Hurricane is being checked on by a ref and a trainer. Rosie though, is getting double-teampalooza. Hurricane is getting walked out of the match.

Inside Rosie gets a head up and starts exchanging fists with Cade. Cade gets a neckbreaker. Tag to Murdoch and they go for a double clothesline, but eat a double shoulderblock instead. Walking up the key, Hurricane sees Rosie having some problems.
“He charged up his Lantern.” – Hernandez

He tries to run in, tags in Rosie – and a hot tag ends quickly with a HUGE clothesline from Murdoch. 1 2 … the end.

WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: MURDOCH AND CADE

Hey – backstage… Flair is still getting his mack on.

HEY IT’S BOOBAGE MCTAHTAH!!! Where’s she been!?
“Why do you people call you Masterbate?” – Boobage
“It was funnier when we thought she was serious.” – Dani
“I like her..” – Me
“The microphone follows his head moving… that’s so great.” – Hernandez

Hey – Masterlock.
Hey – Shawn
“He’s turning more chain than leather each match.” – Hernandez
“HIiii dadddyyy…” – Me

And the match starts with Shawn getting put into the Masterlock…. and the bell hasn’t rung yet. Masters throws Shawn down and THEN the bell rings.

Masters throws it on again, but Masters drops before it gets locked in. He tosses out Masters, and Michaels follows suit by leaping onto Masters. They fight on the outside.

I’m going to be honest here. We stopped watching. One of the girls had an issue of Cosmo and we discussed how the 101 ‘Sex Tips’ were mostly bunk. Now, for those who read this – and know or have at one point in time enjoyed wrestling as we do.. even a PPV will stop when two girls want to discuss how stupid Cosmo is when they discuss sex. The fact is, in my primitive mind the only two words that matter in that sentence are ‘Girls’ and ‘Sex’. The Rabble apologizes that it’s typist is generally a testosterone based pervert. This might happen again…

Ok, we’re back – Masters hits a STRONG verticle suplex right onto Shawn. Two count. He picks up Masters and pushes him into the ropes, clubbing him in the back. Masters just dominates and finally FINALLY after we have stopped watching.. Michaels gets out of the backbreaker and seems to show some life.

Oh, then it stops. Masters catches Shawn on the turnbuckle and puts him into the torture rack. Shawn fights out of it, gets a clothesline… but then Masters hits his own to end it again.. press slam… tries for the Masterlock. Gets the ‘Lock… Shawn grabs the ref! He chokes the ref and mule kicks Masters!

Double count gets toooooo….. 7 before Masters gets up to his knees. He goes after Shawn, but NOW Shawn shows some life… punch to punch and chop to chop. Flying crossbody! Kick-Up. Atomic drop. Clothesline. Bodyslam. Flying elbow.
J E S U S C H.. aww.. MISSES THE KICK! MASTERLOCK!

Shawn tries to kick out of the corner…
Shawn leaps over the top rope! That was kinda neat actually. The ref makes him break it.

Masters tries to come in, but Shawn grabs him by the neck and pulls him down neck to the rope. Shawn climbs the top – he leaps – gets caught – Masters throws him up… CATCHES HIM IN THE MASTERLOCK – but Shawn drops out of it – Superkick and THAT IS THAT… Thank god.

WINNER: SHAWN MICHAELS

Now let me just explain why there is actually no commentary. None. Aside from the obvious sex discussion, I cannot buy Masters. I will never buy Masters. Bless Shawn for selling for him… but the fact that his offensive was as minimal as possible, while Masters tried to get the rub for 20 minutes just made me grumpy.

We get one last look at Flair, who steps out of the limo, takes a swig of champagne…. and Flair flops. Nice.

Here comes the Cena/Angle set-up.

Here comes Angle and Cena. Say g’bye to the champ!
“One fish…. Two fish… Red Fish… Blue Fish…” – Me & Hernandez
“So that hasn’t gotten old yet?” – Michael

JOHN CENA vs. KURT ANGLE
Three title changes tonight?

Eye to eye….. Cena’s got a taped up ankle, for the record. Bell rings.

Lock up! Sideheadlock takedown by Angle to start it off. They get o their feet. Angle to the ropes and a shouldercheck sends down Cena. An exchange of rope bounces and a FLYING hiptoss sends Angle rolling. He heads outside and Angle’s pissed.

Angle climbs back in. Hammerlock takedown from Angle.
“Cena looks like Young Frankenstein when he’s in a lock hold..” – Me
“Rrrrrr.. puttin on the reeeeetzzzz” – Michael

They get to their feet, Kurt gets an arm wringer, reversed by Cena and a sideheadlock takedown by Cena. They move to their knees.. then feet. Angle sends Cena to the ropes, but the shoulderblock sends down Angle. And another sends down Kurt, and Kurt bails… the crowd is HOT for this match.

Back in the ring, they go for the lock-up, but Angle hits the boot to the gut and an uppercut sends Cena down. Big fists to Cena, and a toss to the corner. Angle charges and eats boot.
“Tastes like Newark..” – Me

Cena drops Angle and goes for the pin. Only two. Now Cena starts bringing Kurt corner to corner with headslams.
“Annnd THIS is for the $10 you owe me..” – Me

Side slam for two from John. They get to their feet, and out of nowhere Kurt hits the belly to back suplex. Angle gets to his feet, and a stomp to John’s head. European uppercut drops Cena, and now the Angle-tastic beatdown begins. Suplex for 2. Chinlock.. noselock.. chinlock. Cena gets up – and catches a sunset flip on Angle. He goes to toss Angle but it’s reversed. Belly to belly and Angle is totally up and grinning.

Angle is now taking it to Cena, knee lifts and he grabs Cena around the waist. Cena gets to his feet, and throws elbows to try and get out of it… instead he gets a german suplex for two. Angle turns it into a bodyscissors. Hooks in the chinlock as well and Angle starts whispering sweet nothings into Cena’s ear.
“..I like the way you struggle…” – Me

Cena gets up to his feet.. and with a quick spin, Cena boots Angle in the gut, and hits a snap DDT… great little spot.

They take a long moment to get to their feet, and the fists back and forth begin. Cena takes the top – Angle falls, gets up and eats some clotheslines. He ducks a clothesline from Angle, and hits the shoulderblock – Suplex and TWO count to Angle.

Now Cena sizes up Angle… he grabs him for the FU…. Angle slides out, spins it into an Ankle Lock! Cena kicks out of it! Angle charges in, spinebuster!!! TWO COUNT from Cena. He goes for his OWN FU, and it’s reversed right into the Olympic Slam. KURT GETS TWO! Kurt grabs the Ankle again, and again Cena kicks out of it… finally Cena gets a slam – and goes for the 5 knuckle.
“Lame move… thankfully I can’t see it” – Dani
“You do that to Jamie?” – Omar
“Oh yeah… I sure do.” – Dani

Of course it only gets two.. They fight up, and Angle gets tossed into the ref – Cena hits the FU and well .. no ref.. awww…. Cena goes and checks on him.
“Can’t you see me!?” – Me

Cena picks up Angle by his head, but Kurt hits a loooow blow. Kurt then wraps the gold medal around his fist, and hits him square in the face with it.
“He’s gonna bend it, gold is soft..” – Jeffrey (who just arrived)
“Seriously, the Olympic team isn’t going to give him a new one..” – Michael

Here comes Bischoff, just as Angle puts int he Anklelock. Bischoff charges in with the world title belt, mocking him.
“Why doesn’t Bischoff just hit him with it?” – Dani
“That would be unprofessional?” – Me

Cena DOES get the rope, but Bischoff kicks his hand out of the way. Angle pulls him back, but Cena spins out of it and knocks Angle into Bischoff. Cena grabs the belt – and KWANG! Right onto Cena… The bell rings.

Bischoff gets into the ring and announces that it doesn’t matter that it’s a DQ… he tells the ref to NOT give him the belt – but Cena shuts him up with a good ol’ FU. Angle though, is pissed – and destroys him outside the ring.
“Tomorrow Raw should start with them still fighting..” – Hernandez

Angle brings Cena and slams him into the spanish announcers table.
“THANK YOU SIR CAN I HAVE ANOTHER” – Michael

Olympic Slam onto the table……. NO! Reversed into an FU… Cena climbs into the ring to get his hand raised. That – is – that.
“So Cena keeps the belt?” – Jeffrey
“Yes” – Me
“That just doesn’t seem fair..” – Dani
“It’s wrestling dear.” – Me

So a sportz entertainment ending… it’s been a long time since one of those, but given how horrible I thought this PPV was going in.. it wasn’t that bad. Not the strongest show ever, but it could have been worse.. it could have featured Big Poppa Pump and Goldberg. I’m NOT going to ask the Rabble what they thought about it… most didn’t see the entire show.. so there yah go.

Everyone, have a great night. Thanks for reading – see you tomorrow night.