The War At Home
Dave finds Hillary crying, but she won’t tell him what’s wrong. Hillary is the only good thing about the show, and that is only because she is hot.
Larry tells his parents he is going to take a bath. Dave is still worried Larry is gay.
Dave finds out that Vicki and her old boyfriend are back in touch. It turns out that she goes to him for advice. Dave is not too happy about this development.
Hillary tries to talk to ‘Tay about what is bothering her. She is mad because whenever she wants him to do something he leaves. This prompts him to leave.
Larry is upset that his dad won’t talk to him. He thinks maybe he should tell his dad the truth that he stole the car.
Mike blackmails Dave with info about him getting an instant message from “Lonely Lady Michigan” so he can get a pair of shoes.
Dave decides he will tell Vicky about the internet chat. She tells him about her friend whose husband started “cybersexing” and it led to their marriage ending. He lets Vicky think Mike was the one who was having cybersex. Dave convinces Vicky that he will talk to Mike about it himself.
Dave goes to talk to Mike and says, “Who’s ready to go to the mall?”
Vicky asks Mike where he got his new “kicks,” Mike tells her that Dad bought them for it. Vicky is upset at Dave for spending so much money,
Larry comes in and tells Dave he wants to have a talk. Dave thinks this is the “I am gay” talk. He tells him to go talk to his mother.
Larry tells Vicky the truth. Vicky thinks that this story is actually a lie so that his dad won’t be upset at him.
Vicky tells Dave about what Larry told her. She blames Dave for Larry “lying” about the cross-dressing.
Hillary and ‘Tay continue to fight, he walks away again, Hillary starts to cry. Dave assumes she is upset because she has her period.
Dave asks ‘Tay what is wrong with her. ‘Tay “explains” things to Dave but it is all in slang so Dave is left more confused than before.
Late at night Vicky comes downstairs while Dave is having cybersex. Vicky hears a message sound and realizes that Dave is chatting online. He tells her it’s not a big deal, telling her, “I found her in the married by bored chat room.”
Vicky thinks he is cheating on him. Dave compares it to Vicky talking to her ex-bf Bob and that she is emotional cheating.
The next morning Dave gets a letter in the mail because of a ticket for driving through a red light. Dave assumes its Vicky she denies it’s her. Obviously it was Larry dressed up as his mother.
Cut to the parents berating Larry for being so dangerous and reckless. After Vicky leaves Dave hugs Larry telling him that he knew he wasn’t a “tranny.”
Dave apologizes for Vicky for the cyber sex and start to have make-up sex.
Dave sees Hillary crying once again. He convinces her to tell him why she is upset. She tells him that she gave ‘Tay something “special” for their one month anniversary and he didn’t give her anything in return.
Dave confronts ‘Tay about this, who is shocked Hillary told him. It seems this something “special” was some sort of sexual act but Dave.
I am counting the days for this show to end. I would be shocked if it returns after the baseball playoffs.
The Simpsons
Couch gag: Claymation Gumby
No Blackbord gag.
Plot
Marge wakes up to drilling/hammering. It seems they are building a stamp museum beside the Simpson’s house.
Homer starts a protest group with himself and Bart chaining themselves to the construction equipment.
The protest by the family forces the stamp museum to change addresses. It will be moving to the cemetery meaning the cemetery to right beside the Simpsons.
Bart decides to scare Lisa about possible Zombie attacks as her room is the only one directly facing the cemetery. This prompts Lisa to sleep in the parents bed.
Lisa asks to go to the Stamp museum. Homer is mad that it took 40 minutes to get there. Than he gets mad when he realizes Lenny is making big money from renting out his lawn for parking, as the Stamp museum is right beside his house.
The see a display for the kids book, ‘Where the Wild Things Are.’ This gets Lisa back into her favourite book.
Lisa is back in Marge and Homer’s bed. She hears them badmouthing Apu and Dr. Hibbert.
Homer and Marge decide to sleep in Lisa’s room to show her there is nothing wrong with it. They get scared because of the graveyard.
Gravedigger Bill, Willie’s cousin, stands over Groundskeeper Willie, who is peering into an empty grave, with a baseball bat.
Marge decides to take Lisa to a psychiatrist to get her over her fears.
The psychiatrist tells them that Lisa never was allowed to be a kid. She can help but it will cost $4000. They run out of the room.
Lisa decides she will conquer he fears by going to the graveyard and spending a night.
She decides if she can spend the night she will never be scared again.
Dr. Nick is digging up graves to get spare body parts. He tells Lisa that he is Dr. Octopus.
Chief Wiggum is in the graveyard looking for a grave robber. He strips naked so no one will shoot him because he is a cop.
Something spooks Lisa causing her to run away. She trips, knocks her head on a gravestone and passes out.
Bart tells Homer and Marge that Lisa is spending the night in the graveyard. Homer and Marge go into the graveyard to find Lisa.
Meanwhile Lisa is having a nightmare. The Wild Things monsters tell her that it is alright to be scared. She wonders how she is gonna sleep. They tell her to draw the blinds.
It’s morning, Marge and Homer find Lisa passed out. Homer tells her if she wakes up he will get her a new pony. She wakes up just than but he tells her that the pony was part of her dream.
She tells Marge and Homer that she will be fine and she isn’t scared anymore/
Lou finds Chief Wiggum naked in a tree. He won’t come down but Lou tempts him with a pizza bagel.
Another mediocre at best show. I think starting the season off with first a Marge than a Lisa-centric episode was not a good plan. More Bart and Homer shows are needed. Lisa is boring character thus making this a boring show.
Jokes
“Stamps, those are for snail mail.” Thanks and please, murder suicide plot. Homer Jiggling for Justice. Margaritas in bed (blender), “I love waking up drunk.”
Homer’s RC helicopter and rescuing the soldier. Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray, “Read the patent bitch.” “Yo I’m sneeze guard.” Gravedigger Bill. Bart’s racecar bed breaks are “shot.” Scratchy shooting his head off while watching “Cats” Milhouse the slug.
Family Guy
Plot
Peter is out fishing but he is not doing well. He comes home and tells Lois that he isn’t finding fish and therefore not supporting his family financially.
At The Clam Peter tells his buddies he needs to find some fish fast.
Shamus, the armless, legless sailor, tells Peter there are lot of fish at Pelican’s Reef. But no one has ever returned alive.
Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe all go with fishing with Peter.
Peter decides they should play the drinking game “I Never.” Quagmire has a shit load of empty beers as he is done everything imaginable. Including giving a reach around to a spider monkey.
Quagmire passes out and they decide to write on him.
They wake up the next morning, Quagmire has “Penus” written on his face. They go on deck to find fish all around them.
Meanwhile back in Quahog there is a warning about Hurricane RuPaul and that he or she is heading for Quahog.
The guys are celebrating the boatload of fish they have hauled in. Death shows up and says he showed up cause of “That” and points at a big wave.
Cut to Shamus telling a studio audience about how Peter’s sank to the bottom of the sea.
The guys wake up passed out on a raft of blow-up girls that Quagmire had brought with him. Quagmire warns his friends that, “The tiniest little prick will pop these things, gigidy.”
Joe hears Peter eating and wonders where he got food. It turns out that Peter has been eating Joe’s legs.
Before Joe can fight back they see and island and row over to it.
Back in Quahog they have a memorial service for the four friends lost at sea,
“Many months later.” Peter looks like Tom Hanks from ‘Castaway.’ He looks at a locket and says, “I miss you Captain Cavemen.”
Peter thinks they should try to have an orgy as after several months alone they each “have needs.”
A cruise comes by and sees them in their pathetic attempt at an orgy. Later the friends de-board the cruise ship looking all back to normal.
Peter comes back home and the family is all excited to see him. Lois tells him that she got remarried. Brian walks in, “Honey I’m home.”
Peter is mad that Lois married Brian. He wants her to get a divorce so things can go back to normal. She refuses feeling she can’t do that to Brian. This prompts Peter to leave.
Brian and Lois are in separate beds. He asks if this is the night they push the beds together. Lois refuses saying, “You are like a dog with a bone.”
Later at The Clam Joe tells Peter he needs to fight for Lois if he still wants her back.
Lois comes home to find Peter naked on the couch. He covers himself with whip cream. He is trying to seduce her with his natural sexiness. After some resisting Lois gives in and they start making out.
Paddy, Brian’s new boss, asks if anything is wrong. Brian calls home but Lois doesn’t answer as she is busy getting it on with Peter.
Lois tells Brian she is going out. She distracts Brian by getting him to fetch a tennis ball.
Stewie tells Brian that he is blind and will show him what is really going on. He puts in a tape and we see Stewie’s ‘Real World’ audition. After that video evidence of Peter and Lois together making out comes on.
Brian drives to Peter’s place and sees a silhouette of them kissing. He goes to the door and he hears Lois telling Peter she can’t break up with Brian because of all the things he did for the family.
Lois comes home and Brian breaks up with Lois, as he knows she really loves Peter not him. Lois thanks him. The family is now back to normal.
Lois tells Brian, “And to think I was a day away from having sex with you.”
An average episode but the lack of a good secondary subplot limited the show. The first two episodes have not used Stewie to his full potential. Adam West was the star this week though.
Jokes
Shooting the Portuguese fisherman. Gilmore Girls fast-talking and making out. TV show
‘Bobcat or Bjork’ Is it a Bjork song or a rant by Bobcat Goldwaith? Peter “That time I out farted Michael Moore.” Widow’s walk for Lois. Peter is good at getting out trouble, just like Kobe Bryant. Peter Griffin Christmas album, Song in the tune of Little Dummer Boy, “I brought these gives gifts they are up in my bum.” Ponce De Leon Griffin and the fountain of youth. Adam West’s vengeance against the ocean. Cleveland to a shot Skeet Ulrich, “There is nothing good about what you do or who you are.” Chris “This is like that sitcom with the two dads, except no one is laughing. No wait it’s the same.” Back to the Future rip off. Adam West-Stewie shouting match Peter’s Shazzam orgasm
American Dad
Plot
Hayley and Roger get into a fight after she says he has no life.
Steve asks Stan to sign a permission form so that he can go to sex ed class. Stand pulls a lever dumping Steve into the basement as Stan believes is afraid of what they will teach his son at school.
After arguing with the school’s principal Stan decides to teach a morally upright sex-ed class. The class has just Steve and an Amish kid, who quickly realizes he is actually in the wrong class.
Stan tells Steve that he doesn’t need to know about sex since he isn’t having any.
Later at home Francine is trying to get randy with Stan as it’s spring-cleaning time, Steve catches Stan and Francine making out,
So that his life isn’t as empty and boring anymore Roger decides to take a bartending class.
Stan tells Steve he should never have sex until he is married. Steve tells him that guys at school told him that he can handle his urges by himself.
Stan shows him a movie, “The Wages of Self-Abuse.” It depicts a young boy named Timmy committing an evil that is worse than communism and civil rights combined, touch himself. Timmy’s hands get furry and his eyes melt after committing the sin.
Stan tells Steve that he just keeps busy with hobbies to avoid thinking of sex. His favourite hobby is burning wood to make cool designs. Steve is about to learn this skill but burns through the piece of wood in Stan’s lap, thus burning his crotch area.
Later in bed Stan is told by his doctor to put ointment on his wound. Stan misinterprets the doctor’s instructions in regard to a heart surgery to “pull it” and Stan has his first self-orgasm.
The next day Stan continues to “apply ointment”, so many times that he reached a baker’s dozen in the day.
Roger opens a bar in the attic. Hayley comes to visit. Roger confiscates her fake id.
Stan rushes the family out of the house in the morning so that he can “apply ointment” again. Steve is worried that Stan is still mad at him.
Francine is upset that Stan is not sexual interested in her anymore. He is too busy with himself. She goes to talk to Roger the bartender who tells her that she is on “the down slope.”
Francine goes to visit a plastic surgeon and she decides to get botox.
Stan is addicted to the ointment but the pharmacist won’t give him anymore.
While Steve is cleaning the gutters he sees Stan “applying ointment,” causing him to fall off the ladder and break his arm.
Steve starts to “get drunk” at Roger’s bar on Shirley Temples. Stan shows up, Steve calls Stan on a hypocrite and a liar. Stan decides to blame television for his sexual desires. Steve buys into it and the two of them decide to go save America from filthy TV.
Stan makes a pitch to government officials about how Paris Hilton and TV are evil. Stan is given control of one town’s communication system, Langley Falls.
Roger tells Vicky about Stan “spanking the monkey.”
Stan goes on the local news and vows to get rid of smut on TV and say hello to clean TV. Steve and Stan put on crappy programming to cleanse the airways.
Francine shows up at the studio to confront Stan. She tells Stan that she won’t let him screw up Steve by telling him his body is disgusting.
Stan agrees that his parents did screw him up. Stan has the “talk” with Steve, live on air mind you. Francine and Stan start to make out, still on camera, prompting amusing reactions by viewers.
Perhaps the best ‘American Dad’ episode so far. This show is really hitting its stride, although to reach the heights of ‘Family Guy’ may be asking for too much.
Jokes
Newspaper headline: Israel pulls out of Gaza, Gaza not pregnant. The Simple Life prison edition. Stan to his lighter “Soon I will feed you the world.” Buffing the table with your mother. A third breast or a super boob. Roger: “Rub some ointment on that won’t you.” The saucy simian needed some tough love. W-ANG network. Steve: “Nobody likes a suck up Terry.” Roger’s pancreas. Steve: “Only perverts and democrats do that (masturbate).”
