Paul London d. Val Venis. At least it looked like Val Venis. We got held up at the door, didn’t catch the entrance or the first part of the match.
Paul Burchill & William Regal d Scotty 2 Hotty & Funaki
Brian Kendrick d Some Guy They Didn’t Announce
Mexicools d FBI – I had a NICHO sign that Super Crazy tried to point out to Psicosis. The Mexicools worked face for the match, got good pops too.
Booker T d Christian – Booker T had the craziest pyro of the night. It looked like they might have overdone it, honestly, because I could feel the fire from where we were. Sharmell & Booker were acting weird on the way out.
Eddy Guerrero had a bit where he was barfing while talking to Teddy Long.
JBL came out on a horse and delivered a cheap heat BY GAWD I’M FROM NYC YOU ILLEGAL MEXICANS BLA BLA BLA TEXAS LOVES ME promo.
Heidenrich/Animal d Jared Steel & Anthony Colleti (that’s what I thought I heard, anyway) in about 30 seconds.
Sylvan dissed Stacy & Christy, got a challenge from Bob Holly
Batista segment, he was calling in a doctor for Eddy
Randy Orton & Cowboy Bob Orton brought out a casket with the Undertaker Real Doll (that ended up being Undertaker faking it.) Taker beats up Orton. The crowd was going batshit for Undertaker.
Ken Kennedy d Rey Mysterio after JBL rode out on his white horse again.
Sharmell told Booker T he needs to get an IC (US?) title shot soon.
Eddie looks like he’s getting a handjob from some nurse
Bobby Lashley d Simon Dean in Lashley’s SD! debut
Chris Benoit d Orlando Jordan in under a minute. There was a tap-out clock, I think it hit 49 or 50 seconds.
Batista switches off with the nurse “massaging” Guerrero, and then to gay up the segment some more, brings in Dr. Big Gay Al MD, who apparently does a body cavity search on Eddy. Batista took away the doctor’s Vaseline.
Batista did a handicap match vs MNM. Eddy was playing sick in the aisle for most of the match, but at the last second he tagged in & frog splashed someone for the pin. Then Eddy played up their team until the off-the-air main.
Undertaker, Rey Mysterio & Batista d JBL & Randy Orton. Eddy cut a promo saying he was basically going to shit the ring unless he left. Rey barely comes up to everyone else’s shoulders! JBL/Orton chase Rey for most of the match, then UT and Batista hit finishers on them for the big finish. UT gets a big exit, Rey kinda disappeared, and then Batista played up the crowd for a few minutes.
THE END. The part of the arena with the main camera was almost completely empty. They will have to add a good amount of sound because the crowd was kinda dead. They popped big for things like armdrags. Almost every match had someone doing a jumping forearm.
The only really awesome thing was this 6 year old girl behind us that was so into the match. She was absolutely adorable & also hilarious.
Credit: Kingm0b at DeathValleyDriver.com