What a Tease!

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Welcome one and all to edition number 7 of What a Tease!

In movie news: rumor has it that two men are reading for the role of the Joker in the new Batman sequel soon. BatmanOnFilm is reporting that both Australian actor Lachy Hulme and British actor Paul Bettany are in the lead for the role. Personally once I heard Paul’s name mentioned I’ve been behind him for the role ever since. He just has such a range as an actor that he could put a nice spin on the Joker persona. Of coarse this is all still rumors and there have been so many names rumored for the role (Penn, Glover, Hamill, Carrell) it should be taken with a grain of salt. But here’s hoping that Bettany gets the part. You can discuss who should play the Joker in the up coming sequel here on the boards.

Now to the trailers.

Coming Soon :

The Ice Harvest
Starring: John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Platt, Randy Quaid
Release Date: November 23rd, 2005
Plot: A strip club owner manipulates a gangster and a sleazy lawyer into stealing money from a wealthy politcian.

Spoilers: 6
Analysis: Thorton, Platt and Cusack should be interesting to watch bounce off of one another. It’s also gonna be a trip watching Randy Quaid try playing a serious mobster role. Harold Ramis is directing, that’s a toss up, for the most part he makes great movies (Caddyshack, Vacation, Groundhog Day, Analyze This) but lately he’s been off his mark (Bedazzled, Analyze That). The Trailer does lose some brownie points due to the fact the thing is insanely dark, I had to max out the brightness on my monitor just to make out what I was watching.
Overall Rating: 6.5

The Producers
Starring: Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Will Ferrell, Uma Thurman, Roger Bart
Release Date: December 21st, 2005
Plot: Max Biaylstock, a scheming theatrical producer, and Leo Bloom, his mousy CPA, hit upon the perfect plan to embezzle a fortune: raise far more money than you need to produce a sure-fire Broadway flop and then, since no one will expect any returns, pocket the difference. To do this, they need the ultimate bad play, which they find in the musical ‘Springtime for Hitler.’ Their plans come to naught and the duo are taken completely by surprise when their new production is hailed as a toast-of-the-town hit.

Spoilers: 4.5
Analysis: I’ve never seen Mel Brooks’ original The Producers but what’s up with making a movie based on a play already based on a movie? They’re trying to do the same thing with Hairspray. The most I know about the play (Producers) is from watching last seasons Curb Your Enthusiasm, which I don’t believe should be used as any sort of meter as to what this movie will turn out to be. The four cast members look great together. The only gripe is that the trailer Sony has up is so confusing to play, at one time I had 3 audio tracks playing at once and it doesn’t have the best video quality either. It’ll Certainly be worth checking out this December, I just hope Apple or Yahoo get a better trailer up soon.
Overall Rating: 6.5

Saw II
Starring: Donnie Wahlberg, Franky G, Beverley Mitchell, Glenn Plummer, Dina Meyer
Release Date: October 28th, 2005
Plot: While investigating the bloody aftermath of a grizzly murder, Detective Eric Mason has the feeling that it is the work of Jigsaw, the notorious killer who disappeared leaving a trail of bodies – and parts – behind. And Mason is right. Jigsaw is at work again. But instead of two people locked in a room with only one unthinkable way out, there are eight. Eight strangers — unaware of their connection to each other — forced to play out a game that challenges their wits and puts their lives in jeopardy.

Spoilers: 6.5
Analysis: You know, when ever I wanna play a game I just whip out the ol’ Monopoly board game, not stick a group of people in a twisted fun house for the mentally insane. But that’s just me. I still haven’t gotten around to renting the first Saw and I probably won’t until early next month when they plan to release the unrated version of the movie. This is certainly going to make up for all the crappy “suspense thrillers” that came out earlier this year, putting all those PG-13 faux horror movies in their place. The trailer gives away a few too many spoilers and should have kept a more mysterious feel to it. And while it was random to see the trailer pimp out “Forget to Remember” by Mudvayne at the end, it gave me something to listen to while writing this weeks column.
Overall Rating: 7

Paradise Now
Starring: Kais Nashef, Ali Suliman, Lubna Azabal, Amer Hlehel, Hiam Abbass
Release Date: October 28th, 2005 (NY)
Plot: Two youths from the Gaza strip are just 48 hours away from becoming the latest suicide bombers. Two young Palestinian men, Khaled and Said, are both recruited to carry out a suicide bombing in Tel Aviv. The two men are allowed to spend what is presumably their last night alive with their families. However, since absolute secrecy must be maintained and they can tell nobody of their mission, theirs can be no proper farewell. The next morning, the men are brought to the border. The bombs have been attached to their bodies in such a way as to make them completely hidden from view. However, the operation does not go according to plan and the two friends lose sight of each other. Separated from each other and left to their own devices, it’s up to them to face their destiny and stand up for their convictions…

Spoilers: 3
Analysis: Very interesting story, a little controversial but that’s what makes this so appealing. I’m not sure what sort of release this is going to get, it’ll probably only be shown in art houses. Through out the two and a half minute trailer only five small words are spoken by the characters, “I want to go back” there’s just something really moving about that. There aren’t many spoilers, and it makes you want to see what happens next. great trailer for a movie I had no idea was coming out, I’m pleasantly surprised.
Overall Rating: 8

In Her Shoes
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, Shirley MacLaine, Mark Feuerstein, Brooke Smith
Release Date: October 7th, 2005
Plot: Maggie is fun-loving and irresponsible. Her older sister Rose is a high-powered lawyer who watches Maggie’s wild life with distain. When an attempt to live together fails miserably, they go off in different directions to find the missing pieces in their lives. Based on the book by Jennifer Weiner.

Spoilers: 4
Analysis: Not too sure on this one, yeah it has Cameron Diaz in it but that’s all it focuses on. It’s her in skimpy outfits, not that it’s a bad thing, only at the end we’re left with memories of her in a bikini and not so much the movie itself. I can’t comment on spoilers since as I said it doesn’t even bother taking about whats going on. It’s mind boggling how a trailer can go on and on while at the same time not say anything of meaning or purpose.
Overall Rating: 3

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith
Release Date: November 18th, 2005
Plot: In his fourth year at Hogwarts, Harry faces his greatest challenges and dangers yet. When he is selected under mysterious circumstances as a contestant in the Triwizard Tournament, Harry must compete against the best young wizards from schools all over Europe. But as he prepares, signs begin to point to the return of Lord Voldemort. Before long, Harry is playing not just for the Cup, but for his life.

Spoilers: 6.5
Analysis: Could this possibly look any more awsome? Honestly, this movie is going to be huge once fall rolls around. For those that read the book you’ll notice a lot of spoilers but for those coming in fresh I doubt they’ll pick up most of them in the trailer. I only wonder how much is going to be edited out of the final cut, since the last movie was edited quite a bit and Goblet of Fire is almost twice the size of Prisoner of Azkaban.
Overall Rating: 9

Opening this Week :

Corpse Bride
Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Emily Watson, Tracey Ullman, Paul Whitehouse
Release Date: September 23rd, 2005
Plot: Set in a 19th century European village, this stop-motion, animated feature follows the story of Victor, a young man who is whisked away to the underworld and wed to a mysterious Corpse Bride, while his real bride, Victoria, waits bereft in the land of the living. Although life in the Land of the Dead proves to be a lot more colorful than his strict Victorian upbringing, Victor learns that there is nothing in this world, or the next, that can keep him away from his one true love.

Spoilers: 5
Analysis: Is it me or does Elfman seem to be repeating himself when it comes to scoring Burton films? I love all of those scores don’t get me wrong, it just seems that he’s becoming predictable. I’ve been looking forward to this movie for some time now and the trailer doesn’t disappoint me in the slightest (with the exception of Elfman’s score). No spoilers are given away that aren’t already described above. Can’t wait to check this one out in the coming weeks.
Overall Rating: 7.5

Flightplan (trailer 1)
Starring: Jodie Foster, Peter Sarsgaard, Erika Christensen, Sean Bean, Haley Ramm
Release Date: September 23rd, 2005
Plot: Flying at 40,000 feet in a cavernous, state-of-the-art E-474 aircraft, Kyle Pratt (Foster) faces every mother’s worst nightmare when her six-year-old daughter Julia vanishes without a trace mid-flight from Berlin to New York. Already emotionally devastated by the unexpected death of her husband, Kyle desperately struggles to prove her sanity to the disbelieving flight crew and passengers while facing the very real possibility that she may be losing her mind. While neither the plane’s Captain Rich (Sean Bean), nor Air Marshal Gene Carson (Peter Sarsgaard) want to doubt the bereaved widow, all evidence indicates that her daughter was never on board resulting in paranoia and doubt among the passengers and crew of the plane. Finding herself desperately alone, Kyle can only rely on her own wits to solve the mystery and save her daughter.

Spoilers: 6
Analysis: Still haven’t gained any interest in this what so ever since I reviewed it a few weeks ago. Esthetically it’s very pleasing, great cast, unique setting the camera work looks top notch, only it seems that’s where the buck stops. The story has been played out and it seems they’re running out ideas to make it new when it isn’t. It’s hard to pick out big spoilers but there are a lot of shots showing major plot points of the movie. If there’s one thing to come from all this its the return of Jodie Foster.
Overall Rating: 3

Roll Bounce
Starring: Bow Wow, Chi McBride, Mike Epps, Wesley Jonathan, Meagan Good
Release Date: September 23rd, 2005
Plot: In the late `70s when roller skating was a way of life, X (Bow Wow) and his pals ruled supreme. But when the doors of their local skating rink close, it marks the end of an era and the beginning of another that sees the boys venture into foreign territory – uptown’s Sweetwater Roller Rink, complete with its over-the-top skaters and beautiful girls. Through his preparation for the showdown of the season – the Roller Jam skate off with the Sweetwater crew – X manages to find himself and also help his dad (Chi McBride) get back on track.

Spoilers: 3
Analysis: Did Fox watch You Got Served and then say “we need to make that”? If there is one movie that doesn’t need to be copied it’s You Got Served. While I’m writing this I just found out that Roll Bounce will be donating 10% of its opening weekend gross to Hurricane Katrina victims, do they really expect this movie to make anything past the 3 million dollar mark this weekend? The trailer doesn’t give away any spoilers, but it sure doesn’t sell the audience to go see it either.
Overall Rating: 3

Daltry Calhoun
Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Juliette Lewis, Elizabeth Banks, Sophie Traub, David Koechner
Release Date: September 23rd, 2005 (NY/LA)
Plot: A father struggles to keep his once lucrative Tennessee golfing empire intact when his estranged 14-year-old daughter — a gifted musician — is unexpectedly left in his care.

Spoilers: 5
Analysis: Another Knoxville movie? This is the third one I’ve had to do in 2 months, how is that man getting this much work? Daltry Calhoun is either going to be a hit or a miss. I’m surprised to think this might just be a hit, the good seems to out weigh the bad here. Then again this IS a Johnny Knoxville flick so the marketing could just be a bait and switch. Not a whole lot a spoilers present, however the plot isn’t really all that complicated either.
Overall Rating: 6.5

Number One Movie At the Box Office:

Just Like Heaven
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Mark Ruffalo, Donal Logue, Dina Waters, Ben Shenkman

Plot: When David sublet his quaint San Francisco apartment, the last thing he expected was a roommate. He had only begun to make a complete mess of the place when a pretty young woman named Elizabeth suddenly shows up, adamantly insisting the apartment is hers. David assumes there’s been a giant misunderstanding…until Elizabeth disappears as mysteriously as she appeared. Changing the locks does nothing to deter Elizabeth, who begins to appear and disappear at will. Convinced that she is a ghost, David tries to help Elizabeth cross over to the “other side.” But while Elizabeth has discovered she can walk through walls, she is convinced that she is still alive and isn’t crossing over anywhere. As Elizabeth and David search for the truth about who Elizabeth is and how she came to be in her present state, their relationship deepens into love. Unfortunately, they have very little time before their prospects for a future together permanently fade away.

Spoilers: 7.5
Analysis: A part of me see’s this and immediately brushes it off as a re-imagining of Ghost, but something about it seems so fun and light hearted that I just can’t turn away. It looks like it’ll be a great project to help push Ruffalo into the public eye, and that’s a plus. The trailer definitely could have lightened up on the spoilers however, it’s filled with them and this is a movie that could have probably been better off holding back a few. Overall it looks to be a fresh spin in a stale genre.
Overall Rating: 6.5

And that wraps up this week.

All images courtesy of IMPawards.com & Apple.com

Currently residing in Washington D.C., John Charles Thomas has been writing in the digital space since 2005. While he'd like to boast about the culture and scenery, he tends to be more of a procrastinating creative type with an ambitious recluse side. @NerdLmtd