Remote Destination

My Lack of Scheduling Skills

My viewing schedule is kind of hectic. Y’see this was a pretty big week for premieres. I think seven new shows, that I’m giving a chance to, premiered this week. I didn’t do a good job of balancing my time so while I got everything taped, I failed to watch three shows before writing this column; The Simpsons, Arrested Development and Criminal Minds. I’m sure they’ll get attention in next week’s column.

What I Watched Last Week

Real Time With Bill Maher – P.J. O’rourke is a pretty funny and witty guy. I can’t say that I agree with him, but I did laugh at his quips. My roommate found him annoying because she disagreed with him, but I could appreciate his humor. He was the high point of the oddly unhilarious outing.

Rome – Ok, can I admit my ignorance about history; I didn’t know that Julius was epileptic, so the seizure caught me off guard. I’ve got to admit that I actually care about most characters. Atia truly rocks, as I hang on her every word. Who would have thought that a political thriller would be so captivating?

Prison Break – What? Michael didn’t get transferred out? I so didn’t see that coming. I did dig the “take one out” swerve, as I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I wouldn’t have minded an explanation as to how everyone ended up on the work detail.

Now I know that I often bring up race, but c’mon how can you have a drama set in a prison and not have a major Black character? I don’t think I’m nitpicking, this is like having a show set in the NBA or NFL and being devoid of Blacks. Can we finally admit that FOX doesn’t care about Black people?

Arrested Development – I know that the writers on this show have so much fun. “This is not a Volvo“? Best line of the week. I also give the show props for keeping incestuous romance funny after three seasons. And I’m still not tired of the old twin switcheroo. This show just keeps getting better.

Over There – I find the moral dilemmas on this program to be pitch perfect. Should you assassinate a guy that you suspect of a crime? Do you take money that no one knows is there? I really didn’t expect much from this show, but it’s really turned into a quiet pleasure.

My Name is Earl – Usually I cringe at shows that feature a moral or happy ending, but My Name is Earl is done exceptionally well. It doesn’t sacrifice humor for the message. I’m hoping that this show is on for the long haul. The acting and writing were really well done. Great pilot.

The Office – Mike Z actually convinced me that this show was cancelled. Fortunately he was wrong. Michael slays me with his aloofness. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel sorry for him when his ceremony went south. I appreciated how they managed to have his troops rally around him without making it a cheesy moment. I’m so glad this show wasn’t canceled.

Nip/Tuck – Did this need to be a 90 minutes long? Every time I watch this show I feel like the “gifted” kid in the regular class. Oh you mean that when the obese lady was talking about herself she was describing Christian? No $%^&ing $#!t!

That said the episode did have two things going for it; Rhona Mitra, who was constantly smoldering on Boston Legal and the violation of Christian. You’re correct in thinking that my desire for forced sodomy has been quenched. But it was also gratifying because I’ve often uttered “$%^* this show” on many occasions, to it was kind of like wish fulfillment.

I also think that this show is getting way extra. It was hard to believe that Sean, after losing a day’s worth of money, would take a charity case, especially one so far outside of his field. Separating a woman from a couch isn’t really plastic surgery, even if the couch has a cover. Extra.

Lost – I loathe Jack. I hate him with bedside manner and without (and his bedside manner has nothing on Sean from Nip/Tuck). I dig how Locke basically played Jack in front of the other castaways. I also dig how the French Woman’s ominous talk from the season finale was, apparently unfounded. I will say one thing about Jack; he’s got an incredible memory recall. I still hate him and hope that he dies a painful and horrible death.

Everybody Hates Chris – It’s nutty but this typical sitcom is very refreshing. It’s so nice to see a realistic Black family on the tube. What’s more, the show is actually funny. I know what it’s like to catch the bus across town to go to school and to be a token Black kid. Again, I’m hoping that this show succeeds, but that’s kind of hard to do on UPN.

Invasion – Since I was watched both the recap episode and season premiere and I ranged from “interested in Invasion” to “ok, too much promotion, I’m not watching Invasion” to “maybe I’ll give it a shot again” to “I’m too tired to change the channel, I’ll watch Invasion.”

The show was just “eh.” I didn’t believe that dude was old enough to have two kids much less a son his son’s age. I’m not really intrigued about the whole alien aspect, in fact I don’t care. I do think that this show is going to suffer from being sandwiched between Katrina and Rita. Sadly this show is probably going to be cut from my viewing lineup.

Reunion – Boo. I’m making Rome-esque pagan sacrifices hoping this show gets canceled. But before it does here’s Five “Whys” About Reunion, that I’d like answered;

#1 – Why does the cop care about the 1987 gun before he knows that it’s the murder weapon? He hadn’t gotten the ballistic report yet, so he didn’t know how it tied into the case at hand. Boo.

#2 – What the hell is the drinking age in Bedford? Weren’t Craig and his patsy having a beer? But really what’s another crime between two friends?

#3 – Why is Craig trying to hook back up with Sam? Granted, right now I’m longing for my high school sweetheart, but that’s because through my post collegiate eyes the simplistic purity of high school romance looks remarkably enticing. Craig doesn’t have that excuse. He’s a rich kid in the Ivy League. I’m sure he’s getting drunk sorority ass on the daily. He should not be going after Sam. Boo.

#4 – Why does everyone need to constantly reiterate the year? It’s 1987, I get it. Knock it off already.

#5 – Why was the Black dude so adamant about defending about defending his celly’s honor? He almost threw down in a restaurant full of folks because someone said something disparaging under their breath? Sounds like there was some “cellmate love” going on (oh you knew there was going to be a sodomy reference.)

As for the actual episode we find out that the dude I thought was the corpse is actually a priest (making me even more certain there’s sodomy somewhere in his past.) Given that Keith (from Six Feet Under) is taking the case pretty seriously, I’m guessing that Craig is the corpse and the case is a redball, because Craig ended up being uber successful.

And as an added bonus can I just say that I’m sick of cheesy dialogue like “the choices we make today…” and “who thinks twenty years down the line” or “I’ll probably be dead.” Memo to the writers; it’s not clever its corny.

Still as much as I’m loving $#!tting on the show, I do hope it gets the axe.

Greatest Show Ever…this week – Kitchen Confidential

I work in a restaurant so I loved this show. While I’m a “front of the house” guy I’ve enough connects in the kitchen to know that this show hits all the right notes. It’s so cool to see a sitcom set in a restaurant. It’s almost cathartic to watch. Plus the show is funny. It’s well written and well acted with likeable characters. Or at least realistic characters. Everyone needs to be watching this Kitchen Confidential.

Nothing to See Here

Here is where I’d usually write about something to a bit of detail. But premiere week really wiped me out. Next week I’ll have something for you to read.

Battle of the Wacky Bosses!

Last week I posed the following scenario;

Good News; you’ve got a job. Bad News; you have to show up every day. Good News; your work environment is, well, interesting. Bad News; your boss is a bit, well, eccentric. Maybe he’s a spendthrift millionaire. Maybe he’s a tightwad millionaire. Maybe he’s creepy and hits on your wife. Who knows? The point is he’s your boss and you’ve got to deal with him.

So would you rather work for Jimmy James (Newsradio) or Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons)?

Colin was the first to respond and enthusiastically I might add;

Best choice yet, Mathan. As soon, as you mentioned eccentric boss, I knew Jimmy was in there. This is mad tough.

C.M. Burns: One of my top four Simpsons characters, alongside Homer (who I think has gotten less funny in the last few seasons), Moe and Milhouse. On the plus, you could perform your job with blundering numbskullery, AND halfwitted boob-ery and not get fired. The man has had the genius of employing a DUCK to be management, too. Once you’re on his good side, he’ll hook you up. But it’s hard to get on his good
side. Just ask his parents. “Cause of parents’ death? Got in my way…” And there’s the trapdoors in his office. Not fun.

Jimmy James: He’s scary too. I think he killed Kennedy, it was implied. But he’s wacky. Perhaps even wackier than Burns. And he has a much better staff than Burns, too. The best Kid in the Hall, Lionel Hutz/Troy McClure, Maura Tierney while she was halfway decent looking, a spaz you could push around. Wow. The man approached marriage like it really was a business transaction. A true forward thinker, and he
showed that he wasn’t just thinking with Jimmy James’ Johnson (I rule).

A real toughie, but I think I’d rather work for Jimmy. I mean, the nuclear plant “nucular, it’s pronounced nucular..”) would just be too scary, what with Homer being safety inspector. And I wouldn’t want to end up in Burns’ murder pipe.

I mean, “innocence tube”.

Michaelangelo tries to provide a balance.

Gotta go with C. Montgomery Burns for this one. How many times has Homer quit, set the joint on fire, assaulted co-workers, nearly cause meltdowns, led strikes, insulted the boss, and even driven people to suicide? And he still gets to keep his job? Plus, he makes enough cash that Marge can be a stay-at-home mom? How rare is that in this day and age? A nice paycheck and 100% job security? Sign my unemployed ass up!

I’m honestly torn. I dig Lenny and Carl. But I also dig Bill and Matthew. Since I’m not really a scientific dude and I kind of want to have kids, I’m going to avoid Burns and work with Jimmy. Plus I’ve been told that I’ve got a voice for radio. Or was it a face for radio? Either way I’m going to work with Jimmy James.

Naturally this brings us to…

Good News/Bad News/Question of the Week

Good News; you’re a celebrity. Bad News; I forgot to add “washed up” before “celebrity.” Good News; you’re getting a second shot at fame. Bad News; you’re not the only one. Maybe it’ll be a contest. Maybe it’ll be a “reality” type situation. Maybe you’ll be making a fool of yourself on national television. Well, actually that last one is a given. Anyway this your chance and being in the spotlight again.

So would you rather be on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars or VH1’s The Surreal Life?

Linkalicious

John is on a new day, but with the same quality you know and love.

Still undecided about what to watch this Fall Season? Get advice from the InsidePulse Fall Preview. It’s loaded with informative information, yet not redundant.

Matt’s still go the “Mondays.”

Romo gives his take on the fall premieres.

Not to be outdone Craig does the same thing, only differently.

Kevin has Thursdays on lock. He also gives in impressions of the premieres so far.

Josh’s initials are J.C., so look to him as your savior. His column is ultra loaded with everything you need. Plus he tosses in one of my favorite lines from Seinfeld. Great job.

Oh and some dude named Tim recaps the season premiere of Nip/Tuck.

J.A.M.

J represents Joe Reid. Over on his blog, Low Resolution he comments on “Hate Days”, reminisces on 1995’s best flicks and even offers some brief reviews (I happened to like Coffee and Cigarettes.)

Last week he didn’t check into his Film Experience gig, but perchance he’ll return this week?

Also Check out Joe’s recap of Prison Break. I tells ya, it’s a thing of wonderment.

(Way to monopolize my time Joe.)

A is for Aaron Cameron. In the latest installment of The Bootleg Aaron shares his feedback from his “Blactress Survivor” as well as tries to pawn his wee one off on the music staff. I swore InsidePulse V2 featured a childcare program?

Yup, that’s going to do it for me. Catch y’all in seven. Laters.