[NFL] Monday Morning Pancakes

Happy Monday, and welcome to Monday Morning Pancakes. Another Sunday of gridiron action has come and gone, and this is the place to get 13 games worth of info in one neatly wrapped package. Let’s Ger Er Done!

(3-0) COLTS 13, (1-2) BROWNS 6
Whatsammatta You?
Through 3 games of the 2005 season, Peyton Manning has thrown 2 TDs and 2 INTs. His ratio at the same point in 2004: 9 TDs, 1 INT.

How About?
Three sacks for Dwight Freeney, and the Colts defense has not allowed an opponent to score more than 10 points yet this year.

Manning has turned into 2000 vintage Trent Dilfer.

(2-1) DOLPHINS 27, (1-2) PANTHERS 24
Whatsamatta You?
A week after scoring 3 touchdowns, Stephen Davis only managed 36 yards on 16 carries.

How About?
Dolphins rookie RB Ronnie Brown, who took a beating from me in Friday’s column, making me look even stupider than usual with 132 yards on 23 carries.

(3-0) BUCS 17, (0-3) PACKERS 16
Whatsammata You?
Brett Favre threw his fifth, sixth, and seventh interceptions of the season.

How About?
Cadillac Williams carrying the ball THIRTY SEVEN times. I got week seven for the over under on this kid hitting the wall or getting injured.

(3-0) BENGALS 24, (1-2) BEARS 7
Whatsamatta You?
Bears rookie QB Kyle Orton was picked off five times.

How About?
Despite Randy Cross’ burning desire to have sex with the Bears’ defense, the Bengals’ defense has forced 18 turnovers in 3 games so far this year.

(2-1) FALCONS 24, (1-2) BILLS 16
Whatsamatta You?
JP Losman completed 10 passes for 75 yards. He’s killing this Bills team right now.

How About?
The Falcons running for 236 yards against the vaunted Bills’ defense?

(2-1) RAMS 31, (1-2) TITANS 27
Whatsamatta You?
The referees just kind of stood around and looked at each other while Titans LB Peter Sirmon scooped up an incomplete pass, and then ran it in for a touchdown. The replay officials didn’t have sufficient evidence to overturn the play and the TD stood.

How About?
The Rams exhumed Marshall Faulk, and got 81 all purpose yards and a TD out of him.

(2-1) EAGLES 23, (0-3) RAIDERS 20
Whatsamatta You?
The corpulent Lamont Jordan carried 16 times for 19 yards. So much for the Raiders having a running game.

How About?
Brian Westbrook had 208 combined rushing and receiving yards, and 2 touchdowns.

Lamont hasn’t missed many meals lately.

(2-1) JAGUARS 26, (1-2) JETS 20 OT
Whatsamatta You?
Chad Pennington has been awful this year. Sunday was no exception, he was 9 of 19 for 76 yards and 2 interceptions.

How About?
Jags DE Paul Spicer racking up 3 sacks?

(1-2) VIKINGS 33, (1-2) SAINTS 16
Whatsamatta You?
Aaron Brooks completed only 12 of 32 passes against a suspect Viking defense.

How About?
The Vikings offense clicking on all cylinders. Daunte Culpepper threw for 300 yards, 3 TDs, and NO interceptions. Mewelde Moore carried for over 100 yards. Rookie WR Troy Williamson scored his first NFL touchdown on a 53 yard reception.

(2-1) SEAHAWKS 37, (0-3) CARDINALS 12
Whatsamatta You?
The Cardinals have now lost 21 of their last 22 road games.

How About?
Somebody get Shaun Alexander a straight jacket, he went nuts yesterday. 140 yards, four touchdowns.

Player of the Week

(2-1) COWBOYS 34, (1-2) NINERS 31
Whatsamatta You?
The Niners blew an 11 point lead in the fourth quarter.

How About?
Terry Glenn followed up a 157 yard performance in Week 2 with a 137 yard outing this week.

Glenn Is On Fire

(2-1) PATRIOTS 23, (2-1) STEELERS 20
Whatsamatta You?
Willie Parker woke up on Sunday and remembered he is Willie Parker. He rushed for only 55 yards on 17 carries.

How About?
Pats WR David Givens catching 9 passes for 130 yards, and Tom Brady completing 31 of 41 for 372 yards?

(1-2) CHARGERS 45, (2-1) GIANTS 23
Whatsamatta You?
The Giants allowed 268 rushing yards.

How About?
LaDanian Tomlinson rushing for 192 yards and 3 TD’s and throwing for another TD?


9 PM Eastern, ABC
The Storyline
With the Chargers off to a 1-2 start, and with some imposing matchups lined up, this game figures to go a long way toward determining the outcome of the AFC West race. Kansas City promised to rebound from last year’s disappointing season, and so far they have. Denver got a huge division win at home against San Diego last week and hope to make it two in a row.

Key Questions
– Is Ron Dayne going to be the Broncos’ feature back this week?
The Broncos rode on Dayne’s back to the winning field goal last week. With the Broncos’ running game struggling so far this year, it would make sense to give him more carries.

– Is Kansas City’s defense as improved as it has looked the first two weeks?
This week will be their toughest test yet. In Week One, they faced a Jets team offense that has not been able to get out of its own way this year. They’ve been terrible. In Week Two they shut down the Raiders pretty effectively, but the Raiders have no running game. Denver is the best all around offense they’ve faced so far this year, and we’ll know a lot more about where the Chiefs are on defense after this game.

– How will the altitude affect the Chiefs?
The high altitude should make it more difficult for Larry Johnson to beat his wife.

The Chiefs haven’t won in Denver since 2000. Since the turn of the Millennium, the Broncos are 16-3 at home against divison rivals, and 16-1 at home against division rivals that aren’t the Raiders. Mike Shanahan knows how to mind the store, and defend the Mile High turf. I don’t see that changing tonight.


Time and Punishment- Looking Ahead
-Chiefs Win: The Chiefs are off to a 3-0 start, have gone into Denver and come out victorious for the first time in five years, and are one of two unbeaten teams in the AFC. They prepare for a marquee matchup at Arrowhead in Week Four against the Eagles.

-Chiefs Lose: The giddiness of a 2-0 start gives way to the sober reality that if they don’t beat the Eagles next week, they are going to start 2-2.

-Broncos Win: The Broncos just find a way to keep on keepin’ on. They weren’t a sexy Super Bowl pick headed into the season, but they are in first place in the AFC West.

-Broncos Lose: A loss at home to the Chiefs verifies that this Denver team has lost its grip on the division. They head to Jacksonville in Week Four, and will have to play a great game to avoid a 1-3 start.

Will Priest and the Chiefs Leap to 3-0?

That’s it for now. Check back on Friday for some Week Four goodness!

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