Program note: I have given up reviewing ‘The War at Home” as it sucks bag, so I am gonna stick to the three big shows for the rest of the season.
The Simpsons
TIVO couch gag. No blackboard.
Plot
The Simpson’s show up to church but Marge quickly realizes there is something wrong with Maggie as she is scratching herself. She asks Lovejoy where Dr. Hibbard is. It turns out they have changed churches.
The Hibbards now attend a gospel church, where the Simpson clan find him, Dr. Hubbard quickly diagnoses Maggie with chicken pox.
Back at home it comes out that Homer never got chicken pox, meaning he has to stay out of the house to avoid contact with Maggie.
Flanders sees Homer in the backyard and asks if Rod and Todd can come by and so they can get infected. Homer finds out that parents sometimes hold “Pox Parties” so their kids can get chicken pox.
Homer decides to charge his neighbours $15 for this Pox Party.
Milhouse’s dad, Kirk, shows up as the parents of the kids decide to hang out as well. Louanne also shows up and despite Kirk being there ends up staying at the party.
Krusty shows up at the party to entertain the kids, but Homer only paid him for 20 seconds.
Louanne gets drunk and says anyone has a chance with her at this point. Milhouse catches them kissing in an upstairs bedroom.
Bart tells Marge about the VanHoutens getting back together.
Homer is scratching himself, it turns out he has contracted Chicken pox, because he drank milk from Maggie’s bottle.
Kirk and Louanne tell Milhouse they are going through a trial “un-seperation.” Milhouse is very excited about the possibility of his family getting back together.
Marge makes Homer sit in oatmeal bath to take away from his itching, prompting him to eat the oatmeal.
Homer gets fired for calling in sick, it turns out that he said he had chicken pox a month ago.
Milhouse wants to hang out with his parents but they are too busy “getting it on. He is upset that they are not fighting for his love. Bart suggests breaking them up again.
Kirk comes home with his stuff (in a grocery cart no doubt) but Milhouse tries to break them up by telling each of his parents different lies.
After watching The O.C. Bart and Milhouse decide to leave a bra to make Louanne think Kirk cheated on her with Marge.
Louanne finds the bra goes over to Homer to tell him. She shows him the bra and he gets upset thinking Marge cheated on him,
He asks Marge straight out if she slept with him. She denies it. Homer keeps questioning her, causing Marge to get upset that he would doubt her. She tells him to leave, Homer “packs up” and leaves the house.
Lisa asks Homer what happened, she senses that Bart is behind the whole thing. She threatens Bart to tell Marge the truth. This prompts Bart to tell Marge the truth but she is still mad at Homer for not trusting her.
Bart and Milhouse wonder how to get his parents back together. Lisa comes in and insults their cheesy movie-driven plan?
Bart decides to fake his death to bring his parents back together. Milhouse will push a fake Bart doll off a cliff in front of Homer and Marge. Milhouse accidentally pushes off Bart not the dummy, because of his bad eyesight.
Bart falls into the river below. Homer dives into the river to save him. They two of them end up grabbing a rock just before a waterfall.
Marge tells Homer to let go of the rock, to trust him because she has a plan to save them. Homer lets go and Marge jumps towards them. She grabs them, her legs have a rope tied around her and a tree at the other end.
While Marge, Bart and Homer are on shore recovering Milhouse throws himself off the cliff because he can’t live in a world without Bart. None of them move a muscle.
Jokes
Homer flossing with the bible. Bart: “Black god rules.” Ralph: “I feel like a chicken already. I just made an egg in my pants” Chief Wiggum: “Why doesn’t Lou like me?” Milhouse: “Sweet Lizzie Maguire!” Homer’s Mr. Stomach and feeding it pizza. Homer using kids to itch himself. Milhouse’s dream sequence. Homer: “Mmm…Homer oats.” Springfield Stun Arean Football team. The O.C. episode and Snoopy robbing the guys. Homer packing up the fridge contents. Homer’s dent in the mattress.
Family Guy
Plot
Chris is just about to enter high school. Cleveland and Joe warn him about the freshman hunt where the freshman are hunted and waked with paddles.
Lois is upset that Peter is still not looking for a job.
Lois goes to drop Chris off at school. The seniors start to chase Chris. They corner him in the caf. They paddle his rear and Adam West shows up get in on the fun.
Peter goes to the unemployment office. The work consultant suggests Peter apply for job opening at the Pawtucket brewery.
Chris comes home after his first day of high school and doesn’t want to go back. He eventually packs up some stuff and leaves home after Brian regales him about the good times he had in the Peace Corps.
Peter is super happy about his new job at the brewery. Lois comes downstairs and tells the family she found a note from Chris that ran away to the Peace Corps in South America.
Meanwhile Chris is parachuted into a native village. The chief introduces him to the tribe. Chris calls home and tells his parents are going good and he is happy at the village.
Peter is told that he can get free beer while working at the brewery but he can’t drink on his shift. In seconds Peter is drunk and naked. Later Peter comes home drunk.
Later at home Meg is hanging out with some friend and there are empty beer cans littered all over the ground. Peter comes in naked, passes out on Meg’s friends.
Meanwhile in South America the chief’s daughter thanks Chris for getting the village water.
Because of Peter’s drinking he has been demoted to the shipping department at work. Peter’s superior at work is a retard man who enjoys biting Peter’s fingers.
The chief’s daughter asks him to dance at the harvest festival. Musical scene ensues “Jitterbug…Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.” The chief says that because Chris got the whole tribe into dance he is now married to his daughter.
Lois gets a letter from Chris telling them he got married and is not coming him.
The family fly to South America and find Chris at the tribe. He introduces his family to his wife Loka. Lois tells him he has to come home, Chris refuses.
The villagers find out that Peter has $37, thus making him the richest man in the country. He starts to worship Peter as a God-like figure. Peter gets the villagers to re-enact The Contest episode of Seinfeld.
Chris tells Peter that he is using the villagers to escape his crappy life back home. Lois points out that Chris is doing the same thing to avoid high school. Chris admits that he married this 11-year-old girl for the wrong reason.
The tribe finds out Chris is a freshman so they chase him. The whole tribe beings to chase the family from the village. It turns into a the chase scene from ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark,’ with the family getting away on a boat plane.
Jokes
‘Deadwood’, reading playboy. Adam West and the ‘Dazed and Confused’ scene, “No More Mr. Nice Guy. Paul Reiser’s stand up act. Caveman porn. Peter as Sandy Duncan’s glass eye. Peter’s lack of puzzle skills compared to bears. Stewie as the effeminate friend of the popular girls. “I just did some stuff for a guy in the parking lot. Anyone got any Scope?” A dairy cow at work, multiple orgasms. Stewie dressing up at Tootsie. Peter: “Who was the chick on Remington Steele? Stewie: “:o the women there have exposed cliterati?” Meg gets on the conference call. Lou Gehrig as a mad scientist. Kevin Federline’s magic mirror, “How can I look more like a douchebag.” The Evil Monkey in the closet’s single tear. Stewie’s musical rendition of ‘My Left Foot.’ King Arthur Griffin. Stewie watching ‘Bewitched’ in the theatre, flying out to LA, visiting Will Ferrell just to punch him and say “That’s not funny.” Lois: “Uh Peter I think we forgot Meg,” Meg’s dead body left behind.
American Dad
Newspaper headling: “Gas prices higher than a guy at a Weezer contest.”
Plot
Avery is dropped off at a dam. There is a terrorist who took control of the dam’s control system. They are flying in the top code breaker to decipher a letter left by him. However his helicopter crashes into the dam.
The CIA has softball practice and this takes precedence over finding the terrorist. Stan and his co-workers talk about the father-son softball game.
Hayley promises she will help Roger find a way to socialize more. Roger feels isolated and bored at being locked in at home.
Steve is doing horribly at the batting cages, getting hit by the ball repeatedly. Stan is too busy watching another kid smash the ball.
Francine suggests that Steve may not be an athlete. Stan is shocked at the suggestion his son hasn’t taken after him.
Steve is hanging out with his nerd friends and they talk about the upcoming Sci-Fi convention. Stan comes down invites Steve and his friends to a Yankees-Orioles game.
Hayley’s attempt to get Roger to go the beach as muslim woman doesn’t fill Roger’s desire to socialize.
Stan gets the boys access to the Yankees dressing room. There they get to meet Derek Jeter, who happens to be a former CIA operative (we all knew something was up with him.) Steve and his friends unveil their Star Trek uniforms, prompting Jeter and others to make fun of them and call them geeks. Stan is livid.
Stan freaks out and relives Steve’s life in a scene that looks stolen from ‘Vanilla Sky.’ He goes home and sees Steve’s closet with geeky items and screams. He finds Playboy but inside he finds an algebra book..
Meanwhile the news comes on and the Cyber Terrorist has hit again. Stan doesn’t care about national security anymore but rather is focused on the fact his son is a geek.
Stan implores Francine to tell him that she slept with another man. He imagines how embarrassing it will be to bring Steve to the father-son baseball game.
Hayley finds a way for Roger to get out of the house. Roger dresses up as a Jumbo Juice and hands out pamphlets.
Stan tells Steve that the father-son game has been rained out. Steve walks outside and finds out there is a rain machine that Stan set up to fake that it was raining outside.
It seems Stan brought the black kid who was crushing the ball at the batting cage and pretends it’s his son. Steve goes to the game and finds out the truth.
While pimping for Jumbo Juice Roger gets confronted by the Taco King. The guy in the taco outfit starts to beat up Roget for invading his turf.
Steve confronts Stan about the softball game. Stan apologizes to him. Meanwhile the stress of all this is getting to Stan who is constantly grinding his teeth.
Roger comes home all beaten and bruised.
Stan loses a tooth from his constant grinding so he goes to a dentist. The dentist tells him that he has to get braces.
Stan has to show up at work but his voice is all messed up because of the braces.
Avery announces since the code breakers can’t figure out the letters the cyber terrorist is leaving they are going to raid a mosque.
Stan is being teased by his co-workers because of his braces. (btw is pretty obvious the letter will be deciphered by Steve)
Stan realizes his work friends ditched him to go on the raid without him, they used the rain machine like he did to ditch Steve.
Steve tells wife how he was ditched at work. She tells him that he now knows what it’s like to be a geek so he should go apologize to Steve.
Stan goes to the basement to apologize. Steve and his friends are playing a Magic-like card game. Stan realizes the language on the card is the one from the letters.
One of Steve’s friends fixes Stan’s braces.
It turns out that the letters are in Elvish. Stan gets Steve to translate the letters. The terrorist is Dan Veber, the editor of geek magazine they read. The kids realize he will be at the Sci-Fi convention today.
Hayley goes to the attic and sees Roger hanging a rafter. But he is fine, it helps his back out.
Steve realizes the terrorist wants to create a real Middle-Earth because he is obsessed with Lord of the Rings.
Roger and Hayley show up at the Sci-Fi convention. Hayley realizes Roger can go as himself and socialize there. When they are walking around, Kurt, an abductee, confronts Roger for probing him. Kurt wants Roger to tell his family that he is telling the truth about being abducted.
Stan enters a room where Dan Veber is debating another geek about whether LOTR or Star Wars is better. Dan tells the audience that Stan is the man who stopped a special DVD release of a Star Wars movie, this prompts the audience to attack Stan.
Dan escapes in the melee. Stan chases him but Dan pushes a model of an AT-ST Walker from Star Wars (yeah I had to look that up) on Stan.
Steve burns Peter Jackson’s underwear from ‘The Frighteners.’ Dan goes to put it out giving Steve time to get Stan out from under the AT-ST Walker.
Stan pulls a gun on Dan who puts on the “one ring” thinking it will make him invisible. Stan shoots him in the shoulder.
Avery credits Stan with catching the cyber terrorist but he shares the credit with Steve.
Roger spends the rest of this time at the convention in the bathroom avoiding Kurt, who has invited his family to meet Roger.
Jokes
Lisa Kudrow induced impotency. Stan: “That’s why I took your mother to Bangkok last summer,” good pad thai. Derek Jeter: “What happened in Munich? Who did I kill?” Roger: “Why does everyone hate the juice?” (sounds like Jews.) Stan with “Shoot me” on his back and his co-workers shooting him in the back, “It’s a good thing I’m wearing my vest.” Stan: “I’m telling the President on you.” The confrontation between Lord of the Rings and Star Wars fans. Stan: “Oh God I want to hit you” Mulder and Fat Scully at the convention. The fat kid wannabe Jedi. Stan: “Pack your Baggins.”
