The RAW Events
— Welcome to the new Raw re-cap column found ONLY on Inside Pulse! As many of you may know… and on second thought, as many of you may not know, names Carlos, the former Sunday Night HEAT re-capper. And thankfully in many regards to Matthew, I didn’t get the ax and got to stay. So in favor start sending him the THANK YOU emails now!!!! But again, if you don’t know, I’ve been re-capping HEAT for a few months now and since that has now come and gone, I’ve gotten the opportunity to jump onto the flagship show of the WWE and put my own spin on it. Hence, “The RAW Events”. Hopefully this wont be an average run of the mill recap column for you all as I’ve divided it up into three separate sections for you reading pleasure. Now bare in mind this is the pilot column, so this is still a work in progress but with some progression and maybe some feedback from you, this will be something that you and me can come to enjoy every week. Again, the column is broken up in three parts: The MAIN Events, Quick HEAT, and the RAW Analysis. Before each one, I’ll give you an inside of what each section will be. So enough with the talking already… lets get things going!
The MAIN Events
– This section is mainly going to be covering Raw’s matches of the night in the order they occur during the show. Following the results of the match a number will be given to each one in BOLD in sort of a ranking style in the ways I see fit. You know 1 being the best match of the night followed by 2, yada, yada, yada, simple stuff.
– WWE Women’s Title Match: Trish Stratus w/ Ashley vs. Victoria w/ Candace Michelle & Torrie Wilson
Trish tonight is playing the role of face, but for those of you who cant get enough of Evil Trish, fear not. She should be back within 4-6 weeks. Trish as always shows some in ring gold that the other women standing around on the outside should take the time to learn. Leg drop over the ropes hits Trish for 2! More back and forth action continues until both girls’ crash and burn on the top far left corner. Spine buster back inside the ring only gets 2 for Trish followed by a bulldog but is interrupted with some Diva interference. Stratus however cleans house along with Ashley as they strip Candace Michelle to her bra and panties in a very lovely sight. Oh yeah, Bra and Panties Match announced for next Monday in a two on three handicap match.
Winner: Trish Stratus (5)
– The Big Show vs. Snitsky: Street Fight
The two big men of Raw takes center stage on this match as it’s what it is… street fight with not much else to it. And this one is nearly dominated completely by Show as he gets the choke slam on Snitsky but doesn’t go for the cover. Instead he goes outside and pulls out the kitchen sink, YES, even the kitchen sink on this one. I can’t make this stuff up I swear. Hopefully though this ends the feud.
Winner: The Big Show (3)
– Shelton Benjamin vs. Kerwin White w/ Caddy
Benjamin tries to make a funny before the match starts. But things go wrong for Mr. Benjamin from there on out as Chavo takes advantage with his Caddy distracting the ref on the outside. Attempted frog splash is reversed into a clothesline off the top rope that nails Kerwin to the ground. But out of nowhere Kerwin picks up the win!? Wow, there intent on extending this feud aren’t they? Shelton tries to get the last laugh however but is spoiled as White’s Caddy snaps a club over his back.
Winner: Kerwin White (2)
– Val Venis & Viscera vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
The NEW tag champs grace us with their presence tonight and what… what… can it be that WWE is actually trying to do something with the tag belts!? What a concept. Cade and Venis lock up to start the match. Val eventually gets knocked off the turnbuckle in a nasty way shifting momentum to the cowboy team, getting a 2 for Murdoch. Venis tries to power his way out of the situation and does getting the hot tag in for big Vis as he begins to clean house on the champs. Big splash + Money shot = well a win for Team Pimp but not in the way you expect it. DQ on Cade for breaking up the winning pin ends the match.
Winner: Val Venis & Viscera (4)
– Eugene vs. Rob Conway
Ahh, the memories, it feels like I’m back in the writing chair for HEAT with this one. And for some odd reason I think they should book a feud with Conway vs. Masters, thankfully that thought is short lived. And once again Conway stays on my cool list wrestling with the shades while Eugene slips further into oblivion with the doll. Conway starts to stomp away on Eugene as he touched his shades and doesn’t look too kindly on it. More hits shoot Eugene down until he uh… well… I don’t know even what to say, except for gimmick infringement. People’s elbow is hit and gives Eugene a 2 count! Ego trip is delivered as Conway tears up Eugene’s teddy bear, ha-ha, he’s my new hero!
Winner: Rob Conway(6)
– Table Match: Carlito & Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels & John Cena
Dammit, every time Masters comes out it sounds like King gets more and more gayer (if that’s possible). No formal start to this match as an all out brawl ensues with Cena taking on Carlito and Michaels over on Masters. With the majority of the camera time focuses on Cena squashing Masters on the outside of the ring. And with just a few minutes into the match the tables come out!! Everyone changes partners as Cena is now outside with Carlito teasing the toss into the table and Masters back in with HBK as he narrowly avoids a super kick. And with the funniest segment of the night, Shawn sweet chins the ref onto the table that refuses to break! Now that’s a good excuse to be out unconscious for ten minutes. Back from commercial, Cena is locked into the master lock before Shawn breaks it up but then gets side swiped by Carlito as the heels take advantage. Shawn goes MIA for a while on the outskirts while Cena’s double teamed and nearly whipped into the table but is derailed by his partner to save the match. A double “You cant see me” from both Shawn and Cena connects followed up by an FU on Masters. But just as Cena starts to set up Masters on the table Bischoff and Angle come running down, sending HBK flying onto the table on the outside. And an Angle slam onto a table for good measure for Cena.
Winners: Carlito & Chris Masters (1)
– I’m still not sure about the title for this section, but I’d figure this would be a good way to give homage to the thing that got me here to begin with. So here’s one of the few things I’ll be tweaking in my new format within the next few weeks, so for now anyway get adjusted to it until further notice. Basically what you’ll find here is “Storyline” progression from Raw that includes backstage events, interviews, and anything non-match wise that happens on the show.
— Vince McMahon opens the show calling it another “historic” night of Raw with its last broadcast on Spike TV. But with a bigger one on the horizon with Raw’s Homecoming next week on USA. Kurt Angle however comes out to interrupt the boss’ announcement and none to soon as Angle is probably the most over guy right now in the WWE. Kurt complains on why Bischoff gets the title shot instead of himself, especially since he beat Cena last week at Unforgiven. But another interruption takes place as HBK makes his way down the ring breaking up Kurt’s self- proclamation of number one contender status. Hmm, me thinks Shawn vs. Kurt rematch. But the rubber match is set up for NEXT Monday night, which is fine by me in a 30- minute iron man match.
— Ric Flair comes out saying that he’s gonna start to even up the score a bit with Carlito, because ever since he was in the business he’s had friends in high places… from the 4 horsemen to Evolution. And come WWE’s RAW Homecoming next Monday, the game returns. Which we then get the viewing pleasure of a HHH homage video. Lucky me… sigh.
— John Cena shows up backstage to take a picture of Eric Bischoff because that will be the last time he will ever see his face like that. “Ahaa!” or whatever that noise Cena makes now at the end of his promos.
— A ladder is placed within the middle of the ring right before commercial just before Edge’s music hits the speakers. Crippled Lita takes the mic first as she bashes Matt, and says that “We’ll just be fine without you.” Then Edge goes off how he’ll win the ladder match because he’s never lost one before while he climbs the ladder rungs slowly until he sits up on top. Suddenly though the crowed cheers and you know Matt has just showed up. Matt teases that he’ll tip the Ladder over before backing off, but you know that won’t happen as he turns back around and tosses Edge off the ladder. Typical pimpage for next week’s ladder match should be good.
— Teddy Long and Eric Bischoff confront each other backstage about bringing some Smackdown wrestlers for WWE’s Homecoming. And just as Bischoff was about to enforce his authority, Vince McMahon shows up to flex his muscles and announces that Long has permission to set up a Smackdown match next week on Raw. It hasn’t been the GM’s night for backstage antics has it!? First Cena, then Long, and ending up with the boss man himself, sucks to be him.
[Raw comes to my home town this Friday… to bad I have to work!]
— Carlito is backstage complaining to his new partner about getting splinters if he goes through a table tonight. But Masters cools him down and lets him know that there’s a Master Plan in place. That team isn’t cool.
— Friday Night Smackdown Rebound
— WWE Homecoming Rundown
– Pretty much my overall thought of the show that’ll be chalk full of my fancy remarks and verbal lashes if it happened to suck and blow at the same time. Also any predictions that need to be made, rankings, etc. Plus anything else that happens to be on my mind at the time that I feel like putting down on paper.
— Since a new era of Raw is starting up, my first suggestion: FIRE LAWLER!! Sorry, but I just cant stand the guy anymore, every time I hear his voice its like nails to a chalkboard for me. Hey maybe we can get Grisham to fill in if we have to have 3 announcers at the booth. Okay, okay… a lot wishful thinking, I know. Other than that, it was a decent show tonight, but not the big send off I was expecting it to be for the last night on Spike. Hopefully though we’ll all be in for a treat next week with the Homecoming edition as its really being hyped up on PPV levels. Looking forward to a lot of stuff minus the return of the Game, I mean common, who isn’t wishing he’d take some more time off. And that’s it… hopefully you’ll all tell me what you think and what areas I need to work on, and if not, show me some luv!!!! A big thanks to Michelle L. for helping me stay on my feet this past month which had to be one of the toughest ones I’ve ever faced, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and just know you’ll always have a special place in my heart that no one can ever take away! You’re my best friend and always will be! But going back to my column for those of you who are reading, like I said things will get better though with each passing week, I promise! Till then, keep and eye out for the next EVENT. Peace!!