ByteThis! Report: Edge, Matt Striker and “The Warrior Responds”

Quick recap of WWE ByteThis! – September 28, 2005

They show a clip of Warrior’s career and promise they’ll have his response to the invitation of an open mic.

Todd has Edge on the phone, who puts over Warrior/Hogan at Wrestlemania 6 and how amazing the crowd was, and how the crowd was split for the first time he’d ever seen. He loved his promos even though he never understood them, and while Edge was a Hogan guy, his friends were split.

Matt vs. Edge in “first ladder match on RAW in over two years” — Todd asks him how has his life changed. Edge says things are completely upside down. It’s one of those things that he never expected to happen, and it’s been picking up the pieces for me, Lita and Matt, and trying to get our lives back together.

Todd says every week we’ve wondered if THAT would be the week Edge took the title shot, and Matt being back has caused him to lose focus. Edge agrees, and as much as he doesn’t like him, he admits to having great matches with Matt.

“I got into this industry when I was 17 to one day be the World Champion.”

Todd reads from Matt Hardy’s weekly commentary on WWE.com, talking about the leg drop from the top of the cage. What did Edge think about that leg drop?

Edge takes a jab at “Matt Hardy whining on the Internet.” He admits that risks are necessary in this business.

“I’ve given Matt Hardy some of the best matches of his career. What’s he gonna do after Monday Night when he doesn’t have me around?”

He puts Matt over, he admits he’s a great competitor, and Edge says he’s a ladder match expert.

Todd asks about the rumors that people have seen Matt and Lita together after WWE live events. Is this true?

Edge says Matt needed closure and Lita told him there’s no chance of getting back together, so that’s why Matt gave her a Twist of Fate. “Lita knows where her bread’s buttered” and Edge isn’t going to sweat it.

Todd asked how Edge would feel if Lita, say, left him to go back to Matt. Edge said he’s a big boy and has no trouble with the ladies, so that’s up to her.

Edge says neither one of us will be the same after the match, and Matt will fade into obscurity once he doesn’t have Edge around. Edge will be sitting at home, “not dying,” watching me use my Money in the Bank for a title shot.

Another clip is shown from the DVD about Warrior leaving WWE in 1991. Mene Gene interviews Hogan and Warrior about the Match Made in Hell. They said Warrior wouldn’t wrestle without getting $X, and that Hogan suggested to “take care of it” but Vince didn’t want a lawsuit so he agreed to what Warrior wanted. Vince says he ultimately agreed to Warrior’s demand since “it’s my responsibility to give the fans what they want … what’s advertised.” And “as soon as he came out of the ring, I could not wait to fire him.”

They come back and Matt Striker does his Ultimate Warrior impression. It’s pretty bad, as he reads the following statement, which is also posted on WWE.com (with a few bits of “poetic license” taken, going as far to pause mid-promo and say “I need more steroids, my arms are getting too small!”):

Ultimate Warrior replies to Byte This! invitation
Sept. 28, 2005

As promised, WWE.com has Ultimate Warrior’s reply to the open invitation to appear on Byte This!, where he was offered an open microphone to talk about anything at all in an uncensored forum. Unfortunately, Warrior declined the offer to speak his mind. He did, however, post the following comment:

On WWE’s Invitation to Appear on Byte This: “Of course, I do NOT accept this brainless, disgraceful invitation. F*** NO, I do not. You can rescue yourself, Vince. Do your own damage control. I’ve no ear for your begging anymore. Only if you were on fire would I help you — it’d just be too hard to resist pissing on you. Open mic? Then let it truly be open. Let your audience have some fresh air. Flush the toilet bowl once. Let them hear something intelligent, decent and truthful for once. Give them, Vince, what they want — just like you are always bragging the WWE does. Let them be proud for just a few moments that the energetic, intense and colorful Ultimate Warrior persona they loved when they were little kids didn’t become a self-pitying, disappointing, broken-down has-been like all the other brittle-minded skeletons traipsing around your locker rooms or now buried in forgotten about graves. Order the queer and the cripple who host the show to read what I have written here and here, and while they do that have them hold up mirrors looking at themselves so they can know exactly the kind of people in your organization I’m writing about. No apologies — I don’t discriminate for the handicapped who sign on to behave degenerately.”

Todd tells “Warrior” that his queer stage was experimental in college, but he’s straight now. Droz is on the phone and defends himself (as Warrior called him a “cripple”), making ANOTHER steroid pot-shot (the “anabolic warrior”), and says he’s never worked with him, so he must watch ByteThis! so Droz is flattered he’s a fan.

“Warrior” says he won’t give Todd back his DVD unless he gives him $47, no $57. He says he stays in shape through “steroids… lots and lots of steroids.” He talks about the One Warrior Nation and cries about flushing his career down the toilet. He admits to being from Queens, NY, NOT “Parts Unknown.” “Queens is VERY, VERY KNOWN.”

Todd unmasks Matt Striker and talks about his gigantic nipples. They show a clip of Striker vs. Angle in an Invitational. Matt now comes back as Stone Cold Steve Austin, then Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, the Iron Shiek … and then teases Todd about facial hair, then throws out some social studies teacher knowledge about Native Americans’ ability to grow facial hair.

He talks about his continuing feud with Johnny Parisi on Heat, now found on WWE.com. Mentions how since he was a kid, walking home from PS 169 in Bayside, Queens, impersonating wrestlers under his breath, he knew WWE was larger than life and something he’d want to do.

A caller asks for tips to be a teacher, he says math and science are in high demand, start as a sub or an aide, meet the right people, and get your foot in the door.

He wants kids to look up to him for pursuing his dreams.

Matt does an awesome Piper impersonation with leather jacket and chewing gum, but no kilt sadly.

A caller asks him what his dream match would be — Todd says his would be vs. Trish Stratus — and Matt says he’d like to get in the ring with Kurt Angle again when he knows more down the road; he also says Ric Flair.

Todd to Matt: “Matt don’t touch me, I can only touch you, that’s the rules here.”

Matt on the move to USA: Spike doesn’t realize they grew because of WWE, and the -move to USA will be awesome and the sky’s the limit … “if you smel-la-la-la-la” and then he and Todd trade off Macho Man impersonations.

One of Matt’s former students calls in and asks him how his life has changed. Matt says he’s living his dream, he gives thanks every day.

Todd plugs Hogan, Austin, Linda and Vince on CNBC, and Matt leaves with a Vince impersonation (I wonder if this will lead to a bigger push, kind of how Cena’s rapping off-screen led to him incorporating that into his character… there hasn’t been an “impersonates other wrestlers” gimmick, unless you count Eugene, in quite some time). They show the video from RAW running down Homecoming’s line-up and it’s a wrap!