What an uneventful frickin’ week!
Sorry this is a LOT later than usual, but I have been having computer problems, as the damn laptop decided that being connected wirelessly just wasn’t in the cards…get it?
Lame…
Here’s what I did since we last talked:
1) Went to Orthopedic Surgeon.
2) Waited for a call from Insurance Company about MRI
3) Not a damn thing.
I have been playing lots of videogames, now that I don’t have to wear that stupid sling. Honestly, seeing that I don’t feel horrible unless I wave my right arm in a motion befitting a contortionist, I am no longer sure what’s going on in there.
Seeing, it doesn’t hurt other than the occasional ‘click’ or ‘pop,’ I am beginning to wonder why exactly I am out of work.
Hopefully, the MRI will show something conclusive…
So where does that leave us now?
Oh, right, Music Section. I keep forgetting that my “blog-tastic” column is actually supposed to have a focus.
However, I am not going to lie. I am down in the dumps. Workers’ Compensation has yet to be determined, and there is a rumor that I may only “qualify” for 66% of my HOURLY RATE.
Take that in for a second.
I, as a server at O.G., make $3.85 a hour. I am listed in the computer as having worked only 22.5 hours a week since June, but lately I have been closer to 40.
So, $3.85 x 22.5 = ?
Yeah, it’s $86.63, which multiplied by .66 would give me a grand sum of:
57 f*cking dollars, and 17 bullshit cents! Did I mention that I have had surgery mentioned by two different doctors now, as it can dislocate very easily from most positions, but I only get $57?!?!?
Fuck that. I might end up selling my fat white ass on the streets of Astoria just to make the rent this month.
So, in honor of the fact that my life is falling to shit right before my 27th birthday, here is something special:
Listen, I try to entertain you all week after week. I answer hundreds of (imaginary) emails every week and catch tons of (fantasy) shit for my opinions on numerous (bullshit) topics. You have all learned that Ssquared and SITASS are beacons of awesome-ness here on InsidePulse (for my fellow columnists!)
Shit, when it comes down to it all I know that at the end of this year, Gloomchen or Mr. Bootleg are going to walk outta here with the Columnist of the Year Award. Their legions of fans won’t allow a cantankerous redhead win that shit, no way.
Instead, give back to Ssquared, and, in turn, my girlfriend.
When YOU care enough to hook a doofus up!
Shitf*ck! Bob Saget!
So, the Comedy Troupe, while it has no name, is progressing really nicely. Basically, we meet for punch and cookies, do some improvisational exercises and brainstorm ideas for sketches.
This week, ATP and I spent all night Wednesday getting a list of sketches together, and working on a rough outline for them.
I am excited about the prospect of putting together a show here a few months down the road.
I am sure that I could fill the place based on the number of friends and acquaintances that would show up, but I would rather do something more…important?
The group, I am sure, would enjoy doing a bunch of performances, just to see how good this could really be.
Now I just have to get a solid bunch of scripts to fall back on, but…well, I have an idea.
My buddy, Keith, he is on One Life to Live a lot, but can’t seem to play anything other than Cop #2. I have thought of a way to prevent Keith from being typecast. Here, in our comedy troupe, Keith will get to branch out and take on new challenges:
I swear, this skit would KILL onstage!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA…eh. That was lame.
Onward we go…
SITASS NEWS: Anything else would be…Credible!
Murder by Death…Again?
Murder By Death have gone into the studio to begin work on their third album, set for release in the spring of 2006. The Bloomington, IN four-piece have enlisted former Jawbox frontman and noted producer J Robbins (The Promise Ring, Dismemberment Plan, Jets To Brazil) for the follow up to the critically acclaimed Who Will Survive and What Will be Left of Them? and will record in his studio, The Magpie Cage, in Baltimore, MD. A demo track entitled “Dynamite Mine” can currently be heard on the band’s website.
The band, who are currently unsigned and looking for a label to partner with on the new release, has also announced an East Coast tour to preview their new material. After a year of heavy roadwork with artists as diverse as Lucero, Against Me!, The Weakerthans and Thursday, Murder By Death will headline two weeks of dates beginning November 4th in Chicago, IL.
Impossible to categorize, Murder By Death’s haunting mix of gritty rock-n-roll, broodingly narrative lyrics, and dark, enchanting piano and cello has inspired a cult following. Their second album, Who Will Survive and What Will Be Left of Them, a whiskey-soaked concept album about the devil wreaking havoc on a small town, was declared “perhaps one of the most beautifully crafted records…ever” by Alternative Press, with Stuff Magazine saying “You’ll like it if you like Johnny Cash, Radiohead and homemade blood.”
For their third release, titled In Bocca Di Lupo, Murder By Death has created a different kind of concept album, inspired by Dante’s Inferno. In true Murder By Death style, the songs are incredibly diverse – there is a tango, a seafarer’s chant, waltzes, and heavy hitting rock songs. In Bocca Di Lupo will feature an array of additional musicians throughout the songs, including upright bass, a horn section, and a gospel choir.
(credit: MurderByDeath.com)
Sorry, kids…just had to plug the band that got me my gig here at IP.
If you don’t remember, here’s my first review from back in December!
(Wow, has it been that long?)
Anyway, scope their stuff out, and head out to see them if they come to your area. They’re playing in Brooklyn on November 17th at North Six. If you’re in the five boroughs and are heading to the show, you might just meet myself, wifey (It’s an old Native America word meaning…friend) or Jon Sevastra, my roommate.
The Rapture Returns
The Rapture are finally back in the studio penning the long awaited follow-up to 2003’s Echoes, says Villagevoice.com. “[The] [s]ongs are definitely a lot more melodic,” Bassist Matt Safer told the Voice. “A little more soulful.” Safer added that the new material is also more synth- and percussion-based, and less reliant on the saxophone.
There are already extant song titles, including “No Sex for Ben,” “Every Little Thing,” and “Down for Someone.” No word yet on when the Rapture’s sophomore album will hit stores. The Rapture have two concerts scheduled for next month in their hometown of NYC.
(credit: Spin.com)
Anastasio Airs “Shine”
Former Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio will kick off a nineteen-date North American tour on November 2nd in Minneapolis. The jaunt begins one day after the release of his new solo album, Shine.
Produced by Brendan O’Brien (Bob Dylan, Neil Young), Shine is Anastasio’s first album since the dissolution of Phish. Included among the twelve new tracks, which Anastasio has been road testing this past year with his backing ensemble 70 Volt Parade, are “Tuesday,” “Invisible” and “Come As Melody.”
“I like moving forward,” Anastasio told Rolling Stone about his solo career. “I like having new stuff and new people to play with.”
Anastasio will also open for the Rolling Stones on October 6th and 8th, and perform at the Vegoose Music Festival on October 28th in Las Vegas.
“It’s the toughest gig in the world,” Anastasio says about opening for the Stones. “Hopefully we won’t get bottles thrown at us.”
Trey Anastasio North American tour dates:
10/6: Charlottesville, VA, Scott Stadium (with the Rolling Stones)
10/7: Asheville, NC, Scott Stadium
10/8: Durham, NC, Wallace Wade (with the Rolling Stones)
10/28: Las Vegas, Aladdin Theatre
10/30: Las Vegas, Sam Boyd Stadium
11/2: Minneapolis, Orpheum Theatre
11/3: Madison, WI, Orpheum Theatre
11/4: Dekalb, IL, Convocation Center
11/5: Cincinnati, Taft Theatre
11/8: New York, Roseland Ballroom
11/10: Buffalo, NY, Sheas Performing Arts Center
11/11: Utica, NY, Stanley Performing Arts Center
11/12: Lewiston, ME, Bates College
11/15: Upper Darby, PA, Tower Theater
11/16: Boston, Orpheum Theater
11/18: Albany, Palace Theatre
11/19: Wallingford, CT, Wallingford Theatre
11/26: Denver, The Fillmore Auditorium
11/29: Seattle, Paramount Theatre
11/30: Portland, Roseland Theater
12/2: San Francisco, The Warfield
12/3: San Francisco, The Warfield
12/6: San Diego, 4th and B
12/7: Los Angeles, The Wiltern LG
brought to you by Strattera
The soundtrack for the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line, starring Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash and Reese Witherspoon as June Carter Cash, features the actors singing the legend’s classics, including “Ring of Fire,” “Cry, Cry, Cry” and “I Walk the Line.” Other artists featured on the soundtrack, due November 15th, include Shooter Jennings, Tyler Hilton and Johnathan Rice. Me, myself, and my alter-ego, Skippy Pendulum, will buy this soundtrack. We all love Johnathan Rice!
Ozomatli, Blackalicious and Fishbone will perform at the Sublime Tribute and Benefit show, inspired by the release of Look at All the Love We Found: A Tribute to Sublime, on October 24th in Los Angeles. Proceeds from the concert will benefit MusiCares’ MAP Fund and Hurricane Relief 2005. Two days later, Fishbone will be performing at ATP’s 32nd birthday party before ravenous octogenarians, two prostitutes, and me. Yeah, I will be there, fo’ sho’.
Previously unreleased performances by the Roots, Beck, Common, Bjork, Jamie Cullum, and N.E.R.D. are featured on Gilles Peterson Presents The BBC Sessions, due October 25th. Whomever this Gilles Peterson guy is, he either:
A) has some cool friends.
B) knows how to blackmail people.
Arrested Development lyricist Speech will release his new album, Vagabond, on November 1st. I guess that Headliner lost that game of horseshoes…a game of horseshoes!
Live to Tell, a script written in 1995 by the late rapper Tupac Shakur, is being produced as a feature film, helmed by his mother Afeni. The film, about an inner-city youth who becomes a drug kingpin and then eventually cleans up his act, will begin production next March. I can hear the tag-line for this movie now:
<
b>Written (post-humously) by Tupac Shakur. Starring the Corpse of Tupac Shakur with direction by the soul of Tupac Shakur. Featuring 52 (!) un-released tracks by the late, great, messiah of hip-hop, Tupac Shakur. Tupac isn’t Dead!
Yeah, something like that.
Britney Spears’ new song “And Then We Kiss,” which also serves as the music for the commercial for her new Elizabeth Arden fragrance “Fantasy,” will lead the compilation Remixed, due November 8th. The album will feature mixes of “Toxic,” “…Baby One More Time” and “Don’t Let Me Be the Last to Know.” Evidently, she has no idea that her career is over. Maybe I should call her:
Ring, ring.
Britney: Huh-lo?
Ssquared: Is this Britney?
Britney: Duh.
Baby Preston (or whatever the f*ck his name is) is heard crying in the background as Kevin attempts to feed him shoving mashed peas down his throat.
Ssquared: Wow. Are you f*cking retarded? Your career is over now, bitch. You can’t sing, can’t act, and now that you had your stomach sliced apart so that you could push your 6 million dollar bundle of joy out into the world, no one will ever want to see you naked again. If I want to see a back c-section scar, I will go to an obstetrician’s office. Christ, please, just go the f*ck away…forever. Okay?
There, that was therapeutic.
Super Furry Animals will hit the road with Caribou on November 6th in New York, finishing up December 1st in San Diego. 20 hipsters who live in Brooklyn, but work at Urban Outfitters will all request time off for this show. They will not be able to scrounge the money to go, and, as a result, will all die from lack of sufficient “indie-cred.”
Hey, what do you call 20 hipsters in a veggie-oil bus driving off a cliff?
A beginning.
Limp Bizkit’s Greatest Hits album hits stores November 8th. The compilation includes the tracks “Nookie,” “Rollin'” and “Break Stuff,” along with three previously unreleased tracks: “Lean On Me,” “Why” and the as-yet-untitled mash-up of Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony” and Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home.”
Hey, I have a title for the mash-up!
Let’s call it: OHMYGOD,WE STILL HAVE A CAREERvsWHATTHEFUCKAREWESTILLDOINGAROUND SsquaredDoesn’tGiveAShit Mix.
I like that!
(credit: Rolling Stone.com)
Alright guys, that’s it for this week. I will back Thursday with more goodness.
Shit, I can’t use that.
Oh well, my shit was good this week, right?
Until next week, keep it real!
Ssquared
