Rasslin Roundtable: WWE RAW Homecoming


Matt Hardy vs. Edge – Money in the Bank Ladder Match – Loser Leaves RAW

Widro: All signs point to Edge winning, except the natural progression of the storyline
Winner – Matt

PK: If Matt loses this match, it will kill all the face heat he has gained by coming back and being the baby face…of obviously, Edge will win.
Winner – Edge

Matthew Michael: Matt needs to win this, but WWE’s disappointed me before so I’ll be cynical.
Winner – Edge

Eric Szulczewski: Gee, too bad we’ve heard all of the spoilers, huh? Look, anything that ends this off is a good thing. I also think that Matty-Poo will be much happier on Smackdown. So, goodbye to this interminable stream of bullshit.
Winner – Edge

Jed Shaffer: I’m hoping that the “5 chapters” Matt has been swearing this saga will run includes the 8-man tag from last week. That’d make it four, and this would be the ultra-final blow-off. I pray for it. I will burn my Flair and Foley DVD’s into ash if it’ll help it occur. As for the match itself, it’s a vicious catch-22: they’ll never give Hardy a credible WWE Title push, but a loss will kill his character, and end the storyline with a thud. Edge? He’s already Luger2K, so choking once more won’t hurt him all that much. And since SD needs more heels …
Winner – Version 4.5a (beta release)

Mike Fitzgerald: Well it’s come to this has it? They’ve used every other sensible gimmick under the son so they’ve decided to dust off the ladder for this one? Personally i think it’s a good idea. Ladder matches are usually exciting and intense matches when done right and these two have a lot of experience in them. This could either be one of the best raw matches in a long time or a big disappointment
Winner – Edge. No way is Matt Hardy becoming #1 contender

Jeremy Lambert: Matt Hardy is nothing but a career mid carder according to creative, so why would they give him a World Title Shot? They wouldn’t that’s why. I say Edge takes this thing with help from Lita and later on in the show, Long asks Hardy to join Smackdown!
Winner – Edge

Mark Neeley: Can you say “safe ending that WWE thinks no one expected but we really did?” Hardy and Edge both pull the briefcase off, or Lita gets it, something like that. Someone going home and leaving RAW just ain’t going to happen.
Winner – Stalemate

Kevin G. Bufton: The unspoken stipulation, of course, is that the winner also get a good deep-throating off Lita backstage but, there again, who hasn’t yet? This just doesn’t work out well, whichever way the result goes. If Edge wins, then Matt will just look like a jobber who got lucky in his cage match and, if Matt wins, then we have a No. 1 Contender who doesn’t really have a beef with anyone else on the roster other than, maybe, Snitsky. Unless, of course, they have Angle take the strap off Cena at Taboo Tuesday and Matt uses his title shot then, which would probably give us the best singles match of his career. All that being said, I think that Edge has the more obvious ‘star quality’ of the two of them, and that’s got to be on Vince’s mind.
Winner – Edge

Torrie, Candice, & Victoria vs. Trish & Ashley – Bra & Panties Match

Widro: Should be exciting
Winner – Trish and Ashley

PK: Well, I don’t thing we’ve really seen either Candace or Ashley in B&P yet…so my vote is that we’ll see Candace first…Ashley will be something they’ll want us to wait for.
Winners – Trish & Ashley

Matthew Michael: We still haven’t seen Ashley stripped yet (well, unless you google “Ryan MacKenzie”), so she’s a safe bet to lose here.
Winner – The Pink Ladies

Eric Szulczewski: The question is, who gets stripped? I think that since this is supposed to be a Night Of Happiness And Joy, it’s going to be Candace again. Although how that makes people happy, I have no clue.
Winners – Trish and Ashley

Jed Shaffer: I can’t come up with any witty comment about the pathetic state of the women’s division that’s hasn’t been said by 1,000,000 IWC columnists and forum posters already. So, I will just say this: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Winners – Horny teenagers everywhere who can’t get onto the Diva website

Mike Fitzgerald: Ah TNA. Oh no sorry T & A. I guess they’ll be double the T & A eh? Eh? wink wink, nudge nudge
Winners – The Mean Bitches

Jeremy Lambert: Nobody cares, we just want to see hott chicks wearing next to nothing
Winners – Trish and Ashley

Mark Neeley: Nice little face win with the divas to get the crowd into it, especially with the b&p stipulation.
Winners – Trish & Ashley

Kevin G. Bufton: Oh Lord, I don’t care. Whilst I have no real problem with either team getting stripped down to their scuddies, I think it’s *another* step backwards for the Women’s Division and, really, the winner boils down to which of the two wrestlers (Trish or Victoria, if you really had to ask) is going to be prepared to be stripped, in order to make the other team look good. My theory is that Trish is just so phenomenally over that she can afford the loss. And, of course, having her funbags on display will begate any heat she might lose in any case.
Winners – Victoria, Candice and Torrie

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels – 30 Minute Iron Man Match

Widro: We might get a glimpse at an early WM match with interference against one of these guys. Either way should be awesome.
Winner – Angle

PK: My vote will always be Angle…plus he’s going to get the title match at Taboo Tuesday.
Winner – Angle

Matthew Michael: Kurt won at Mania; Shawn won the rematch. This is gonna be a MOTYC and I simply don’t care what happens here. Kurt looks to be scheduled vs. Cena at Taboo Tuesday, according to posters I’ve seen, so I’ll pick him.
Winner – Angle

Eric Szulczewski: Who cares who wins? Just submerse yourself in this match like a nice, warm bath and allow the pleasure to seep into every pore. I smell overtime and a controversial ending that’ll allow both these guys bragging rights. There’s also enough time between now and Taboo Tuesday for Angle to get rid of any stigma in losing to Michaels.
Winner – Shawn Michaels

Jed Shaffer: I’d say Angle needs momentum, but Shawn seems to be stuck in a kind of limbo right now … he has no discernable opponents for a feud on the horizon. A win here would put him in the title picture … but Angle needs a reason to STAY in the title picture. I’d say … some kind of screwjob ending so HBK can get into the mix, but Angle has a way in too.
Winner – HBMiddle-aged Man

Mike Fitzgerald – I normally don’t like long TV matches because they are usually cut to pieces by commercial breaks. Hopefully that won’t take away from what should be a great match. The first two were ****+ on anyone’s scale so this one has a lot to live up to
Winner – Angle as someone has to win this one although neither really needs to win. This one is purely about match quality

Jeremy Lambert: With a 3 hour show they have a lot of time to kill so killing 30 minutes in what should be a MOTY contender is a good thing. I say they play to storylines here (Angle/Cena and Masters/Michaels) and end up screwing this up by over booking it. Maybe that’s just my wish as a TNA fan.
Winner – Shawn Michaels

Mark Neeley: You know it’s safe to say WWE isn’t going to f*ck a great match up when they make it a 30 minute iron man match. HBK shouldn’t have a problem doing the job after the win over Masters to keep the Angle #1 contendership alive. ****
Winner – Kurt Angle

Kevin G. Bufton: YEAH, BABY! Holy shit, the ‘E’ is putting more effort into this episode of Raw than it does into most PPVs. As for a winner, well – HBK has got nothing on the burner as far as feuds go with any other worker on the show, so I would have to assume that Kurt Angle will win this, in order to keep him hot for a rematch with Cena. Either way, I think we’re all winners here.
Winner – Kurt Angle

John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff – WWE Title

Widro: I don’t like this type of angle
Winner – Cena

PK: I have a feeling this won’t last longer then the usual OJ/Benoit match.
Winner – Cena

Matthew Michael: Uhmmm…
Winner – Cena

Eric Szulczewski: At this point, I would accept Bisch as WWE title holder. Anything to get the belt off Cena. You know what? They’re going to do it. They want to have something very, very big to grab on to an audience the first night back on USA, something that’ll bring back the old “anything can happen” spirit. With my luck, though, this match will end with Wife-Beater coming in and giving the Stunner to Bisch while all of us smarks out there go “That’s for 1994, bitch!”.
Winner – No matter how I want to say Bisch, no matter how much I think they might actually do this to pop a rating next week, my gut says no. Cena.

Jed Shaffer: No way they’ll pull a McMahon/Russo. No way.
Winner – Stone Cold Tapioca Ice

Mike Fitzgerald: If this is anything more than a Cena squash I can sense the more cynical fans turning on it big time

Jeremy Lambert: This will be more over booked than a Jeff Jarrett PPV World Title Defense
Winner – John Cena

Mark Neeley: Nice little face win to get the crowd into it #2. Angle interferes but Cena fights him off and still gets the squash win.
Winner – Jonathan

Kevin G. Bufton: Oh good – we get to see Bischoff in action again. The plucky underdog who stood up to Steve Austin, Shane McMahon *and* Jim Ross in 2003 is back to prove exactly why non-wrestlers are called non-wrestlers. This is for the cheap pop for Cena and, really, there’s only one way this can go, right?
Winner – John Cena

Wildcard Question #1
What will the SmackDown Match, featuring Christian, Batista, Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit, JBL, and Eddie Guerrero, be?

Widro: 3 way tag match with Christian/JBL vs Rey/Benoit vs. Batista/Eddie

PK: Man, wouldn’t it be cool if it was an Elimination Chamber Match? However, the more likely is a 6-Man Tag with Batista/Mysterio/Benoit vs. Christian/JBL/Eddie

Matthew Michael: I smell a cop-out — Rey, Batista and Benoit vs. Eddie, JBL and Christian. Here’s another question, though: does Batista get involved with HHH or Christian with Edge? And will the loser of the ladder match tease a program with the Smackdown guys?

Eric Szulczewski: Gee, three faces, three heels. What a nice coincidence. They can’t do a surprise Elimination Chamber match, or for that matter anything that might be placed above the ring due to safety concerns for Edge and Hardy. So I’ll say it’ll be your basic elimination match. Sounds better than a six-man tag.

Jed Shaffer: Ooh … we get either a meaningless six-man tag, or a meaningless six-way dance. And with “the biggest main event in Raw history” the week prior with an eight-man match, it makes storyline sense for Teddy Long to want to upstage that (although he’s two guys short) on Raw. Six-man tag.

Mike Fitzgerald: My heart says Elimination Chamber but my brain says 6 man tag

Jeremy Lambert: I say they go inter-promotional. I don’t know how but with three hours I think there will be more than 1 SD match. Eddie vs. Shelton would be good and maybe WWE buries SD by having HHH go over Batista.

Mark Neeley: The logical thing would be a face vs. heel 6-man tag, but I don’t know how Eddie would work over well with it. So I’m going to say, what the hell, battle royal?

Kevin G. Bufton: If I had my way – a six-man elimination match for the World Title, with Batista winning by DQ when it comes down to him and Eddie, after Eddie annihilates him with chairshots or something. That gets Eddie over as a heel and makes this bout at No Mercy interesting in a ‘I would pay good money to see this match’ kind of way, rather than the ;what the Hell are they doing with Eddie Guerrero?’ way, that it seems to be at the minute.

Wildcard Question #2
What will happen with Mick Foley on Piper’s Pit?

Widro: Foley will be interupted by Masters or Carlito or someone to kick start a program.

PK: Lots of plugs for Scooter, and…that’ll probably be it.

Matthew Michael: A book pimp, a Legends party, Mr. Socko and a cocoanut?

Eric Szulczewski: Nothing. Nothing has to happen. They’ve got Piper and Foley with microphones. That’s all that’s needed.

Jed Shaffer: Lots of Foley pimping whatever book he’s got coming out, lots of Piper’s drug-addled rambling, and probably not a lot else. Although, for some reason, I got a sinking feeling in my gut we’re gonna see Masterbater come out and put one of these two in the Mastercrock. God, I hope I’m wrong.

Mike Fitzgerald – Either one of them will beat on the other or a cocky heel will come out like Conway and get beaten up by the combined forces of the Foley/Piper Army

Jeremy Lambert: Foley will get some cheap pops and plugs and somebody will interrupt. It’s the basic formula

Mark Neeley: Something will happen ending up pitting Foley in a homecoming match. Not a good one, but a match.

Kevin G. Bufton: Mick will shill his new book, ‘Scooter’ with all the well-practiced skills of a carnival huckster, whilst Roddy will make wisecracks. That said – have these two guys ever hooked up in a wrestling match before? Could bump up an otherwise lackluster buyrate for Taboo Tuesday if they wanted to.

Wildcard Question #3
Will there be a Hogan/Austin tease?

Widro: I sure hope so, i’ll go with yes.

PK: Yes…and oddly enough WM 22 tix go on sale in a few weeks.

Matthew Michael: Yep.

Eric Szulczewski: For the sake of my stomach, there had better not be. As I said, Wife-Beater probably interferes in the Cena/Bischoff match. If it’s anything other than that…hell, even if it is that, you’re going to see the results on Tuesday in my column. I don’t want Wife-Beater on my screen, period.

Jed Shaffer: The question is: Do I care? Old cripple has-been vs. younger, but more crippled, has-been. This will be like the Rock/Hogan or Shawn/Hogan or anything Hogan/related since his return to WWE in 2002: all hype, little payoff.

Mike Fitzgerald: I think there will be. Personally I’d prefer Austin Vs Warrior but I’m one step away for clinical insanity sometimes

Jeremy Lambert: Tease for a WM Match set up? Sure, why not. I just hope Michaels Superkicks Hogan just for the hell of it.

Mark Neeley: NO!

Kevin G. Bufton: I’m almost certain there will be. If these two guys are being paid by appearance, then they don’t want to have a slow burn on this feud. There again, both Hogan and Austin were the biggest draws of their respective eras, so whatever they get paid will probably benefit the company in the short-term. We can just have Stone Cold bitching about how Hogan beat Michaels, but he hasn’t beaten the Rattlesnake…blah-blah-blah.

I like Comics, Wrestling, Super Mario Bros & Dead Space. Oh ya, and Scott Pilgrim.