Greetings from computer land. Of course, unless you have this specific page set as your homepage, a) you’re awesome, but b) someone already welcomed you to this magical land. This week’s column is dedicated to just Survivor, so let’s dive right in, since the castaways can’t exactly dive right into the alligator-infested waters (do you really NEED a leg, anyway?).
It took the third episode to learn this important lesson. People need to shut up. And often times, it’s the people who shut up at the right times who are successful (quick case in point: Tina, Vecepia, Amber, and Chris). Pride is something that people do not like, and nothing is worse than a sucker who gloats about what he’s done or about what he knows, or worst of all, BEING RIGHT. Survivor is all about politics, and no one likes a know-it-all. Think about it: you’re on an adventure, while competing. I’m not going to jump at the chance at making sure that people know I’m right in a situation that is minuscule.
This week offered three people who made this error: Brian, Cindy, and Margaret. Brian, in the first interview of the episode, made sure everyone in America knew that it was his skills that got Morgan booted. Granted, this was done in confidence, but it does say much about him in that he took the first opportunity to gloat. It therefore indicates that if he makes another power play in the game (or worse, a not-so-powerful move), he may make known that he engineered it to his tribemates. Brian also was very enthusiastic (too much so?) in his pumping up of Yaxha. He got WAY too into it, to the point where Jamie had to put his hand over Brian’s mouth to shut him up. This says a lot about Jamie, as well, as discussed below.
And on Nakum, we saw the first flaws of Margaret and Cindy. Cindy was pleasant at first, defending the monkey. But then she took it too far. Defend the monkey once, you bitch! It really makes your tribe wonder whose side you’re on if you take the side of the monkey. And for Margaret, that tarp was pitiful, and she does have every right to complain. But when dealing with men, you have to realize they have egos, which are tough to beat (a theme we’ve seen twice thus far this season). When men work on something, and you tell ’em it ain’t right, up yours; you’re the bitch. Margaret did just that. The men decided to organize the tarp failure, but she opened her mouth with her instructions. And the real Mom comes out. People love a motherly type, until they realize that it was that same bitch you call mom that bossed you around for 20 years of your life. So Marg, simma down next time.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have people who did the RIGHT thing, and bit their tongues: Judd, Bobby Jon, and Jamie. Jamie knew he was right about Brianna, but he was going to let other people do his dirty work. When called on it, sure, he spoke up and said he wanted Bri gone. But not until prompted. On Nakum, you have Bobby Jon and Judd, who did the absolute right thing with Marg’s shenanigans: shut up until later. They then went off to complain about her. Never underestimate large numbers of complainers: they may just change things while the doers are oblivious to their errors. And the complainers now have something in common: a common bond that they don’t like the way things are going, and s goat to blame should things go awry. All it takes is a few more, and you’ve got yourself one hell of a working group. It’s how Richard and Susan first started off Borneo: they criticized the way people were doing things, and that got them talking. We know the rest.
So now that I’ve ironically talked WAY too long about talking, let’s dissect a few other parts of this episode, starting with the challenges. I’m really impressed the way the challenge department has stepped up the challenges recently (going back to last season). This week had one classic, and one original. The reward challenge was the classic blindfold challenge, with the caller. Both Gary and Brooke did awesome jobs calling. Gary is becoming more of a respected leader, as he’s not hiding it from anyone. I’m not quite sure of Nakum’s strategy putting Brooke up (maybe it was the fact that Yaxha had a guy calling, or that she’s one of the few people on Nakum without a thick accent), but it worked nonetheless. But where things distinguished themselves was how the teams WORKED TOGETHER. Brooke took charge of the whole challenge, and she has seven drones who did as she commanded. I may not like him, but if only Gary had taken control, then things might have turned out differently. There were way too many cooks in the kitchen on that one. Of course, maybe I’m wrong, and it was just that Gray sucked (please God, make it so!). Side note regarding this challenge, Stephenie gets the quote of the week by describing her tribe as a “cluster…mess.” Good catch, Steph!
And for the immunity challenge, both teams put up a good fight. One releaving thing was to see Jeff actually COMPLIMENTING the teams. I remember in All Stars, Jeff reached a new low of douche bagginess, making sure he pointed out everything wrong with each tribe. “You guys are playing great!” So are you, Jeff. Keep it up.
Obviously two things about this challenge, the rise and fall (well, both fell) of Amy and Brianna. Amy clearly injured herself, but was resilient enough for it not to affect her to the extreme. But Brianna did nothing, and people noticed. Didn’t they compliment her last week on how nice of a person she was? That all went down the drain once she stood around staring. And while we’re at it, how about Danni? She not only knows how to talk about sports, but also how to play them. This girl is amazing, and she could be even hotter than the 114 degrees (I’m assuming Fahrenheit) they were playing in.
I’m more excited to talk about next week, so I’ll do the rundown, then list off some possibilities of next week.
In memoriam:
18- Jim Lynch
17- Morgan McDevitt
16- Brianna Varela (6). So much for the sweetie. Brianna’s flaw this week surprisingly had nothing to do with talking. It had to do with effort. On a tribe in the early stages, effort is key. Why would anyone keep limping Amy and non-athletic Lydia? Because they try. They have nothing more to offer than that. Maybe I’m missing something, but to me, that seems like why they were spared and Bri is in Loser’s Lounge drinking a Diet Pepsi. She did try, but not enough. Talking to Stephenie was a great move, but it was clearly not enough. So enjoy that ice cold Diet Pepsi, Brianna, and enjoy the remaining 31 day in Loser’s Lounge with a free vacation.
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15- Brian Corridan (2). The mighty, how they fall. I think my pre-show assessment of Brian may have been correct. He’s way too antsy and peppy for this game, and cocky too. In addition, he’s too focused on spirit and motivation. He falls a lot this week because if he gloats about changing the vote, then what’s next: how he caught a dozen fish and made sure every one else worshipped him because of it? Also, he was so proud to keep Lydia, yet was quick to add that he really didn’t care who got booted, as long as it wasn’t him. I’m calling you on that BS, Brian. Why’d you go through the effort, then? Also worth noting is that he nodded nonstop when Lydia spoke at Tribal this week. Don’t be too obvious. Some time, he’s going to be possibly on the block, but will be running around coordinating everything, and piss everyone to the point where they just kick off his ass to spite him. Brian, you can do better.
14- Gary Hogeboom (14). So can you Gary. I don’t like you, so I’m blaming you solely for Yaxha’s loss. You’re still caught up on athletic ability, which is necessary, but may come back to bite you in the ass. You leave all strong people, then they’re going to be your competition later. I have a feeling that Gary might be in trouble this coming week, if he’s on the bad side of the tribe switch. Either way the chips fall, there will be someone new (most likely several newbies), and it ain’t gonna cut it.
13- Rafe Judkins (12). Same story as last week. He’s got the heart, but not much else. So he stays put.
12- Lydia Morales (15). She’s still toward the bottom because this is the second week in a row she was targeted. There must be some reason. I like her, but I don’t get anything more than a ‘bump on a log’ feeling from her. Of course, that’s all Sandra was, and she’s got a million smackers more than I do.
11- Margaret Bobonich (5)
10- Cindy Hall (9).
Come on, Dora. You can’t possibly drop both of them simply because they talked too much. To which, I add ‘yes I can.’ Margaret takes a bigger drop than Cindy because she interfered more with her tribe. Like I said, Moms are great, but Moms also are tough to live with, because they control you. Marg needs to cut it out if she wants to be a millionaire. Cindy essentially stays the same because she was right about both. Maybe she did defend the monkey too much, but it was right of her to proclaim the dangers of crocs. Still, you never know how that affected Nakum, so she takes a slight fall.
9- Blake Towsley (13). This seemed like a good middle of the pack ranking for That Guy. He seems to have gotten over his sickness, which is good. And he didn’t ruffle any feathers this week. Still, you don’t know if his sickness put him out of the loop on Nakum (he could be outnumbered already). So he’s right here.
8- Amy O’Hara (16). Our biggest mover. Amy crunked up her ankle real bad, yet got up and continued. As she said after the reward challenge, after losing ‘come back strong.’ Amy did just that. She showed determination, such that after limping to Tribal Council, was still considered the second strongest woman on her tribe. She seems like a fun person, so that launches her up a few spots. Additionally, why she was not even a potential target this week indicates something unseen on Yaxha. She’s doing something right, and it’s working. Amy appears like one who could fit in anywhere, so even if she’s on the wrong tribe next week, chances are that she’ll be able to integrate heself into that tribe. Well done, Amy.
7- Jamie Newton (11). Jamie seems like a Shii Ann. He looks like he’s comfy in Yaxha, but it wouldn’t bother him to go elsewhere. You saw how he put his hand over Brian’s mouth. Even he is a little pissed off at the whole spirit/family crap. He’s a true wild card this week, as he may stay loyal to his tribe, or he may just say ‘screw you’ and do whatever’s best for him. He doesn’t seem like the most true of contestants, and this week, it may work. Will he get caught? We’ll dissect that when it arrives on our plate.
6- Bobby Jon Drinkard (10). Bobby Jon who? What’s Survivor Palau? Bobby Jon was in complete anonymity this week, which is awesome for him. His past was never an issue. In fact, he’s now ‘just one of the Nakum.’ But he may be more than that. You saw how he and Judd went off together. He MAY be a full-fledged member of this system, and a crucial part of an alliance. If his talent and camp abilities are still intact like in Palau, he’s more than an asset.
5- Stephenie LaGrossa (3). She only falls this week, because in my expert, 100% right opinion, the top four should be occupied by all Nakum. Still, 5th is no disappointment. She’s clearly the best on Yaxha; she’s the only woman who knew what she was doing, and she seems to be calling the shots (well, VP to Gary’s President). Who was the one person the Bri went to? Stephenie! She’s a power player still, and should continue to be so. I just hope she’s not on the bad end of the stick next week.
4- Brooke Struck (8). As I said, Nakum is the top four, and for good reason. Brooke totally is responsible for Nakum’s pillows and tarp. There must be a reason she was the caller that we’re not seeing. I see her lack of confessionals as a good thing, as she’s out of the spotlight. But she must stand out somehow to her tribe. In other words, she’s in a good position. The only reason she’s not higher is because the next three impressed me more.
3- Judd Sergeant (7). He’s in the same position as Bobby Jon in Nakum. As I said, he’s a complainer, but not in the Kimmi Cappenburg way. Brandon also seems to be a complainer in secret, so these two may be working together. Judd ranks higher than buddy Bobby Jon, because I’m not entirely sure if Bobby Jon’s past will become an issue later.
2- Danni Boatwright (4). She may have taken a few hits in the reward challenge, but not in her ranking this week. I have a feeling that Danni’s extremely loyal to Nakum, which should come in handy this coming week. But she’s also so damn likeable and talented. And knowledgeable, too! She even knew who a friggin bad backup QB from the 80s was! She’s an ASSet no matter where she goes this week. But I think even if she’s on Gary’s tribe, she could play off the revelation of his past. If she’s in trouble, say something like ‘I knew you’d tell everyone, and I liked you as a player,’ or some cheap BS like that that he’d be stupid enough to believe. Or if Gary’s on the wrong tribe, Danni could easily use that against him on her tribemates, as well as Gary’s old pals (‘He lied to you guys!). Either way, she’s in good shape.
1- Brandon Bellinger (1). No reason to drop him at all. He’s a funny guy who has a mental and physical game going. Even more importantly, he’s having fun at this. This will make him a good contestant in the game and on TV. Keep it up, Brandon
So as we know by the CBS website, the tribes will be switched up this week. I would love to see Gary on Danni’s tribe, and Steph and Bobby Jon on the same tribe. You know that’s what everyone wants to see. I do think that Brian may take the fall, because he could get too caught up with the whole ‘team’ thing, and realize too late that Yaxha ties may be broken. And I do think that Jamie is very shapeshifty, in that he could go either way, whichever works for him. Just some thoughts.
And that’s it really. I can’t conclude columns to save my life. As always, there’s always the invitation to email me. I promise to respond and probably kiss your ass for going out of your way for me.
Until next time, when we discuss the flaws and strengths of masking and duct tapes, as well as making a recommendation to which is better, stay cool.
~Dora
