Palumbo & Stasiak vs. Woody the Production Guy – WCW, 2000
History
On June 19th’s edition of Nitro, Chuck Palumbo and Shawn Stasiak had a brilliant idea. They were feuding with Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott at the time, and were seeking revenge for an incident a week before. On the previous Thunder, they had seen Steiner and Abbott on the video monitor arriving, then were jumped by the two. After they finished the beatdown, Abbott had informed them that the arrival had been taped two hours before.
This week, Palumbo and Stasiak had made their way to the production truck, and were giving the director a video cassette showing them arriving, so that they could pull the same trick. Unfortunately, Abbott and Steiner were watching the show and were waiting as The Perfect Event exited the truck.
Later in the night, The Perfect Event finally got their revenge as they beat Steiner and Abbott in a tag match.
On Thunder, Stasiak and Palumbo had apparently decided that the production truck was a cool place to be, as they were hanging out there. Also with them was a young production tech they immediately dubbed Woody Woodpecker. Stasiak started to ask what one button on the control board did, but he decided that he’d had this in high school and he knew. (His high school had a course in WCW Television Production? Explains a lot, doesn’t it?) Anyway, he pushed the button.
David Penzer was preparing to announce someone in the ring. Suddenly pyrotechnics started going off and he dropped to the mat in panic. We went back to the truck to see Palumbo and Stasiak laughing at him.
The fun wasn’t over yet. In the semi-main event, Buff Bagwell was taking on Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido. In a surprising move, Bagwell’s pyro didn’t go off until he was in the ring. Then we cut back to the truck and saw Stasiak and Palumbo laughing again.
The “fun” wasn’t over yet, as David Flair was ticked off. You see, the week before, someone had played footage of him making out with Miss Hancock (Stacy Keibler) despite being engaged to Daffney – and Daffney had seen the footage. He hit the truck and demanded to know who’d played the footage. Our buddies pointed to Woody, so Flair shaved the top of Woody’s head as Palumbo and Stasiak laughed at him. Woody had finally had enough. He left the truck and locked the door behind him.
Next up was a handicap match between Kronik (Brian Adams (WWF’s Crush) and Bryan Clark (WWF’s Adam Bomb) and Shane Douglas (WWF’s Dean Douglas). After Kronik obliterated Douglas, some sort of happy 1950’s sitcom rip-off music played, and we saw Palumbo and Stasiak yukking it up again. Then they realized that Kronik could see them and decided it was time to clear out. One problem – Woody had locked them in.
Woody, it turns out, was waiting outside the truck. When Kronik arrived, he unlocked the door and stepped aside as Kronik destroyed the Perfect Event.
Poor Woody’s trials weren’t over yet. The Perfect Event showed up in the truck again at Nitro. Woody said he’d had enough and cleared out immediately, leaving the goofballs in charge of the truck.
Unfortunately, immediately after this, Three Count hit the ring to debut their new song, “Can’t Get You Out Of My Heart,” much to the delight of Tank Abbott. Tank got furious as the music kept cutting out, so he decided to see what was going on. He found Woody, who recognized an opportunity, and pointed him toward the Event.
Tank hit the truck and dragged the Perfect Event to the ring, then told Three Count he was giving them a tag team title shot. After Palumbo cracked Shane Helms (WWE’s Hurricane) with a Lex Flexor (a combination exercise device/international object), the Event were able to retain. That brought out Kronik, who destroyed the Event. Then Tank destroyed Kronik and let Three Count take out some frustrations on them as Tank started the song playing again.
The Event had had enough. On Thunder, they dragged Woody from the truck. As they were doing this, a guy was watching. That brought Positively Kanyon in, who hit him with the Kanyon Cutter, and then screamed “Bang!” at the camera.
We went back inside the building to see that the Event had dragged Woody down to the ring in preparation for retaliation. That brought out the Misfits In Action’s General Rection (Hugh Morrus, Bill DeMott) and Major Stash (Van Hammer) and a match was on! Rection won the match, and then Kronik destroyed the Event again.
Woody wasn’t about to let this lie. A week later, we saw Palumbo and Stasiak climbing into some tanning beds at the arena. Woody locked them in and cranked the beds as high as they would go. Now this was just wrong. I can understand wanting to get back at somebody, but giving them skin cancer is going too far.
After a four way match (Rey Mysterio vs. Disco Inferno vs. Lance Storm vs. Billy Kidman), Palumbo and Stasiak were released from their prisons by another WCW backstage worker. As they sported a lovely shade of crimson, the worker pointed the finger at Woody, and the Event went after him.
After a karate demonstration with the Cat and the Jung Dragons (Kaz Hayashi, Jimmy (Akio) Yang, and Jamie-san (Jamie Noble)), the Event cornered Woody in the production truck and immediately challenged him to a match. Woody accepted, promising to bring an army with him.
Sure enough, the match occurred later in the night. When the Event asked where Woody’s army was, Woody responded by bringing out Brian Adams. Adams destroyed the Event, while Woody’s offense was limited to standing on the apron and slapping their sunburns when they got too close. After Adams planted Stasiak with a one-man High Times, he called Woody in. Woody covered and got the win.
Analysis
At first glance this looks like a total waste of time. And it was, at least as far as getting Stasiak and Palumbo over. The world tag team champions getting beaten by a guy from the production truck? Give me a break! Did Vince Russo book this?
Actually, Russo was already gone and the Terry Taylor-led booking committee was running things now. And something else – this was actually kind of fun.
Palumbo and Stasiak were doing a kind of Edge & Christian “reeking of awesomeness” angle at the time, and this fit in perfectly with their characters. Messing with other wrestlers from the production truck worked for them. (Although with WCW’s production issues, I’m sure that some people in the live crowd wondered if things like Bagwell’s pyro not going off was just another screw-up).
Even Woody’s retaliation was well done. Let’s face it – he’s a scrawny little guy and knows that Palumbo and Stasiak could completely obliterate him with little to no effort. How’s he fight back? Locking them in the production truck for Kronik. Stooging them out to Tank Abbott. Locking them in the tanning beds. Nothing physical, just using his brains (and the knowledge that he’s surrounded by other large wrestlers who don’t like these guys either).
Overall, it made sense and was an age-old story. The underdog fights back against two bullies using his brains and wins. The only way it could have been better would have been if the underdog was an actual wrestler who could use the win.
Where are they now?
Chuck Palumbo was picked up by the WWF after the WCW purchase, and brought in as one of the WCW invaders. He would go on to have his biggest success when paired with Billy Gunn as part of a “gay” tag team who would finally admit their heterosexuality when confronted with a civil union ceremony. Palumbo was released in November of 2004 and now competes for both US independents such as Ultimate Pro Wrestling and also is working in Japan for All Japan.
Shawn Stasiak was also picked up by the WWF after the WCW merger. He never had any real success and was released in September of 2002. He has since retired from wrestling and is apparently working as a chiropractor.
I was unable to find any information on Woody, other than his real name was Woody Kearce, and he legitimately worked with production. He is presumably still with Turner Broadcasting.
From the Mailbag
We’ve got another special mailbag this week, as insidepulse’s own Eric S. brings up some interesting points I’d forgotten to mention last week:
“Who owned WCW at the time? Oh, yes, a little company called Time-Warner. In 1999, Warner Music Group was the world’s largest music conglomerate. Dozens of subsidiary record labels, a distribution network second to none…certainly a company ideally placed to exploit music. All it would have taken would have been a maximum of three calls. First call, Atlanta to the TV division in New York: “Hey, we’ve got something weird going on down here. Some of our wrestlers have cut this novelty song that country stations are recording off the air and playing. No, don’t call Legal. Call the record division. We might have a winner.” Second call, TV division in New York to WMG, explain the situation. Third call, WMG New York to its Nashville subsidiary. They could have had a recording of “Rap Is Crap” in the marketplace within a week. No need to press it themselves and sell it at house shows. Use the corporate muscle of Time-Warner for once for cross-marketing. But it was obvious that the first phone call in that series was never made. Just another example of WCW having their heads up their ass as usual.”
Another excellent point from Eric – “…in 2000, Warner Music bought EMI Music. One of the big selling points for Warner was the fact that EMI had Garth Brooks.”
Thanks, Eric! And remember to keep your thoughts and requests coming as well!
Next Week
The WWE racist? Never! Well, maybe one guy…
