What a Tease!

Archive

It’s been a slow movie news week and a slow week in general for me. So be sure to make your life less boring than mine by reading my review of the Robots DVD. Cheap? yes. Shameless? Yes. Effective? Maybe.

Now, to the batcave trailers!

Coming Soon:

Clerks 2: The Passion of the Clerks Teaser 1 teaser 2

Starring: Jeff Anderson, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, Brian O’Halloran, Rosario Dawson
Release Date: TBD
Plot: The continuing tale of Dante and Randal, two slackers who find that life must change now that they are in their thirties, when it’s time to grow up and do something more than just sit around, dissect pop culture and talk about sex.

Spoilers: 1
Analysis: I don’t understand the need for this I really don’t. While Smith was working on the Clerks X DVD he said while working on it he rekindled a flame for the characters. But why go back and make a sequel to it instead of using this new found passion to make a great NEW movie? I don’t get it, if Dante’s still working at the Quick Stop doesn’t that make him like 35? Yikes if I’m like him when I’m that age someone please take me out of my misery. Clerks was “the little indie that could” this is simply unnecessary. Saying all that I’ll be in line to see it opening day, so yeah I’m a hypocrite. Both teasers are primarily just clips of clerks, no new material is there. Lets just say the first one is more “family friendly” and leave it at that.
Overall Rating: 4.5

Cheaper by the Dozen 2

Starring: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Tom Welling, Hilary Duff
Release Date: December 21, 2005
Plot: The Baker family goes on vacation, which turns into a head-to-head competition with a rival neighborhood family of eight children.

Spoilers: 6.5
Analysis: Another sequel that makes me scratch me head and wonder what the purpose of it all is. Come on, who would believe that Eugene Levy and Carmen Electra were a couple (or her and Dave Navarro for that matter)? Or that the two of them have spawned that many kids? How was a sequel necessary? The first movie wasn’t even good. So I guess it’ll be about a big competition amongst families (yeah because that plot idea wasn’t dragged into the ground in the 80’s) where the Baker family has a rivalry with a family that seems to conveniently have around the same number of kids as them… right. Spoilers are given away in this one so watch out.
Overall Rating: 4

Casanova

Starring: Heath Ledger, Sienna Miller, Jeremy Irons, Oliver Platt, Lena Olin
Release Date: December 25, 2005
Plot: For the first time in his life, the legendary Casanova (Heath Ledger) is about to meet his match with an alluring Venetian beauty, Francesca (Sienna Miller), who does the one thing he never thought possible: refuse him. Through a series of clever disguises and scheming ruses, he manages to get ever closer to Francesca. But he is playing the most dangerous game he has ever encountered – one that will risk not only his life and reputation, but his only chance at true passion.

Spoilers: 7
Analysis: Casanova doesn’t exactly have a selling cast, its mostly an ensemble of supporting leads. Nothing special here, the whole movie looks pretty bland and predictable. The trailer has poor video quality, it’s hard to explain but it just comes off a bit “blocky”. There are some noticeable spoilers here that show how the movie will possibly pan out.
Overall Rating: 4

Match Point

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Emily Mortimer, Matthew Goode, Brian Cox
Release Date: TBD
Plot: A tennis pro has a relationship with two women, creating a love triangle that ends in tragedy.

Spoilers: 6
Analysis: After watching this I want to leave the house right now head down the street to the theater and see this movie immediately. By far this is one of the best trailers I’ve seen while starting the column. And it’s directed by Woody Allen no less, one director I personally can’t stand. So something must be right for me to want to see it even with him in the director’s chair. It does its job of making people want to see it, and that’s the whole reason of a trailer, so thumbs up.
Overall Rating: 8.5

Doom

Starring: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Ben Daniels, Razaaq Adoti
Release Date: October 21st, 2005
Plot: Something has gone wrong at a remote scientific research station on Mars. All research has ceased. Communication has failed. And the messages that do get through are less than comforting. It’s a level 5 quarantine, and the only souls allowed in or out are the Rapid Response Tactical Squad – hardened Marines armed to the teeth with enough firepower to neutralize any enemy…or so they think. The research being done at Olduvai station has unwittingly opened a door, and all hell has broken loose. A legion of nightmarish creatures of unknown origin lurks behind every wall and stalks the countless rooms and tunnels of the facility, killing what few people remain. Sealing off the portal to Earth, Sarge, Reaper and their team must use every weapon at their disposal – and some they find along the way – to carry out their orders: nothing gets out alive.

Spoilers: 6
Analysis: That first person camera angle still isn’t winning me over. Especially since James Cameron is the first and last person I have ever seen use the first person perspective on film where it was acceptable for the plot and didn’t come off as hokey. This is the full trailer and it uses most of the footage from the teaser and the only stuff that’s new are the first person shots. They also keep trying to push Dwayne Johnson as the lead when Karl Urban is the actual main character. It’s pretty obvious the only reason thy put the trailer together like this is out of desperation to get all the Doom fans who are all but boycotting the movie to go see it opening night.
Overall Rating: 3

Nanny McPhee

Starring: Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Angela Lansbury, Kelly MacDonald, Celia Bannerman
Release Date: January 1, 2006
Plot: A magical nanny must tame a group of horrible children under her care.

Spoilers: 4.5
Analysis: What is it with studio’s making more and more movies about families with rediculous numbers of kids lately? Cheaper by the Dozen becomes a surprise hit at the box office now everyone thinks throwing 8+ kids on screen equals cash. The trailer is just bizarre, it works on using pastel colors and odd set designs to try and sell the audience to go see it. It looks like a Mary Popins rip off, and a horrible one at that.
Overall Rating: 2

Opening this Week :

The Gospel

Starring: Boris Kodjoe, Idris Elba, Nona Gaye, Clifton Powell, Aloma Wright
Release Date: October 7th, 2005
Plot: A young singer turns his back on God and his father’s church when tragedy strikes. He returns years later to find the once powerful congregation in disarray. With his childhood nemesis creating a “new vision” for the church, he is forced to deal with family turmoil, career suicide and relationship issues that send him on a collision course with redemption or destruction.

Spoilers: 2
Analysis: I covered this one last week, so my view hasn’t changed at all. The movie doesn’t look too bad but it will only attract a small audience. Not a whole lot is given during the trailer, that’s mostly because the trailer is the choir singing a song. Besides that it gives the basics of what the movie is going to be about. It looks alright, but will it get anyone who isn’t religious to go see it? We’ll have to wait and find out after the weekend.
Overall Rating: 4.5

In Her Shoes

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, Shirley MacLaine, Mark Feuerstein, Brooke Smith
Release Date: October 7th, 2005
Plot: Maggie is fun-loving and irresponsible. Her older sister Rose is a high-powered lawyer who watches Maggie’s wild life with distain. When an attempt to live together fails miserably, they go off in different directions to find the missing pieces in their lives. Based on the book by Jennifer Weiner.
Spoilers: 4
Analysis: Again this is the same trailer that has been making its rounds on the net which I reviewed a couple weeks back. Not too sure on this one, yeah it has Cameron Diaz in it but that’s all it focuses on. It’s her in skimpy outfits, not that it’s a bad thing, only at the end we’re left with memories of her in a bikini and not so much the movie itself. I can’t comment on spoilers since as I said it doesn’t even bother taking about whats going on. It’s mind boggling how a trailer can go on and on while at the same time not say anything of meaning or purpose.
Overall Rating: 3

Two for the Money

Starring: Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey, Rene Russo, Armand Assante, Jeremy Piven
Release Date: October 7th, 2005
Plot: Brandon Lane is a former college football star whose uncanny ability to predict the outcome of a game introduces him to an unexpected new career when his gridiron glory is sidelined by a crushing injury. Brandon’s talent makes him a prime candidate for recruitment by Walter Abraham, the head of one of the biggest sports consulting operations in the country. Walter hires the small town ex-athlete and grooms him into a shrewd front man. Brandon soon begins to enjoy his status as a Manhattan golden boy and finds himself growing comfortable with Walter’s high-rolling lifestyle. The surrogate father/surrogate son relationship fattens Walter’s business and personal accounts…until Brandon’s golden touch begins to falter at the same time that Walter’s manipulation of his protege crosses the line. With millions of dollars on the line, Brandon and Walter engage in a deadly game of con versus con, each one trying to maintain the upper hand while everyone in their world, including Walter’s wife, Toni, is drawn into the escalating duel.

Spoilers: 6.5
Analysis: Well, Pacino walked out of the theater once the house lights went down at the world premiere, if that’s not a sign of what’s to come I don’t know what is. In both The Recruit and The Devil’s Advocate he plays THE EXACT SAME ROLE, an employer who uses an honest and wholesome guy as a puppet to get what he wants. The trailer reveals too much of the story, it basically is giving the whole story away while still holding on to a shred of mystery. Wait for the DVD.
Overall Rating: 4.5

Waiting

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Justin Long, Anna Faris, David Koechner, John Francis Daley
Release Date: October 7th 2005
Plot: A waiter for four years since high school, Dean has never questioned his job at Shenanigan’s. But when he learns that Chett, a high school classmate, now has a lucrative career in electrical engineering, he’s thrown into turmoil about his dead-end life. Dean’s friend Monty is in exactly the same boat, but he couldn’t care less. More concerned with partying, Monty is put in charge of training Mitch, a shy new employee. Over the course of one chaotic shift, Mitch gets to know the rest of Shenanigan’s quirky staff: Monty’s tough-talking ex-girlfriend, Serena, Shenanigan’s over-zealous manager, Dan, and head cook Raddimus, who’s obsessed with a senseless staff-wide competition known only as “The Game.”

Spoilers: 7
Analysis: This trailer would be so much better if it wasn’t for 2 things. One is that unneeded squishing sound at the end when the woman bites into her meal, the other is the inclusion of that annoying little punk Andy Milonakis. Over 1 million sperm and he was the fastest? Waiting has the potential to be a suprise hit at the box office with all the college kids going out to see it. It looks like a nice raunchy comedy packed to the brim with filthy humor, and actors to create likable characters while doing so. However spoilers can be picked out fairly simply.
Overall Rating: 7

Good Night, and Good Luck

Starring: David Strathairn, George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr., Patricia Clarkson, Jeff Daniels
Release Date: October 7th, 2005 (limited)
Plot: ‘Good Night. And, Good Luck.’ takes place during the early days of broadcast journalism in 1950’s America. It chronicles the real-life conflict between television newsman Edward R. Murrow and Senator Joseph McCarthy and the House Un-American Activities Committee. With a desire to report the facts and enlighten the public, Murrow, and his dedicated staff – headed by his producer Fred Friendly and Joe Wershba in the CBS newsroom – defy corporate and sponsorship pressures to examine the lies and scaremongering tactics perpetrated by McCarthy during his communist ‘witch-hunts’. A very public feud develops when the Senator responds by accusing the anchor of being a communist. In this climate of fear and reprisal, the CBS crew carries on and their tenacity will prove historic and monumental.

Spoilers: 5
Analysis: This is a really slow week for new releases, so if your in the New York or Los Angeles area watch this if you have the chance. That way maybe the studio will release it nationally due to its success. The cast the studio assembled looks top notch, Strathairn, Clooney, Daniels, and Downey all people I enjoy to watch on screen. Including stock footage of McCarthy as himself and slicing it in to the movie is pure genius and is certainly going to add that extra layer of believability to the picture. The trailer is absolutely beautiful, it’s hard to really pick out what are “spoilers” since this movie is based on American history that (I hope) was taught in high school classes.
Overall Rating: 8

The Squid and the Whale

Starring: Jeff Daniels, Laura Linney, Jesse Eisenberg, Owen Kline, Halley Feiffer
Release Date: October 5th, 2005 (NY)
Plot: Bernard Berkman, the patriarch of an eccentric Brooklyn family, claims to have been a famous novelist but is now reduced to teaching. His wife Joan discovers a literary talent of her own, and it breaks up the family, leaving the two teenage sons, Walt, 16, and Frank, 12, divided between their parents. The wife starts an affair with her younger son’s tennis coach, while the husband starts sleeping with a student whom his elder son is courting.

Spoilers:6
Analysis: Another one I covered last week and again my views haven’t changed. This looks like another great release by Sony’s independent studio and yet another movie to try and revive Jeff Daniels career. It’s a bit heavy on the spoilers side and watching it I can’t help but compare the trailer to American Beauty. I’m still crossing my fingers on the possibilities of a movie about a real giant squid versus a real whale though… a man can dream.
Overall Rating: 6

Number One Movie At the Box Office:

Flightplan

Starring: Jodie Foster, Peter Sarsgaard, Erika Christensen, Sean Bean, Haley Ramm

Plot: Flying at 40,000 feet in a cavernous, state-of-the-art E-474 aircraft, Kyle Pratt (Foster) faces every mother’s worst nightmare when her six-year-old daughter Julia vanishes without a trace mid-flight from Berlin to New York. Already emotionally devastated by the unexpected death of her husband, Kyle desperately struggles to prove her sanity to the disbelieving flight crew and passengers while facing the very real possibility that she may be losing her mind. While neither the plane’s Captain Rich (Sean Bean), nor Air Marshal Gene Carson (Peter Sarsgaard) want to doubt the bereaved widow, all evidence indicates that her daughter was never on board resulting in paranoia and doubt among the passengers and crew of the plane. Finding herself desperately alone, Kyle can only rely on her own wits to solve the mystery and save her daughter.

Spoilers: 6.5
Analysis: No, I will not, nae I REFUSE to talk about this movie any longer. As of right now the #1 movie in America is Serenity. Yeah that’s right Browncoats after all those online petitions and angry phone calls and profanity laden e-mails to Fox, Serenity is finally upon us. Who would have thought that an relatively unknown and prematurely cancelled TV show could face off against such heavy competition to capture the number one slot? Be sure to catch Brendan’s review of the movie here.
Overall Rating: 3

And that wraps up this week.

All images courtesy of IMPawards.com & Apple.com

Currently residing in Washington D.C., John Charles Thomas has been writing in the digital space since 2005. While he'd like to boast about the culture and scenery, he tends to be more of a procrastinating creative type with an ambitious recluse side. @NerdLmtd