InsidePULSE’s WWE No Mercy Report

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WWE No Mercy
From Houston, Tx
Announcers are Tazz & Cole
Report By: PK

Sunday Night Heat Match
Paul Burchill & William Regal vs. Paul London & Brian Kendrick
The Brits control most of the match, working over Spanky. London gets the hot tag, and runs amok over the heels. London hits his dropsault”¦kicking Burchill and landing on Regal for 2. Burchill back up, hits London with a shoulderbreaker. Spanky takes Burchill over the top to the floor, and Regal locks in the Regal Stretch on London for the submission.
Winners — Regal & Burchill

Opening, Eddie/Batista & Ortons/Undertaker

MNM vs. Legion of Doom & Christy
LOD attacks MNM to start, and Animal and Mercury square off. Animal has his shoulder taped up, and MNM hits a Snapshot on his shoulder, but Heidenreich and distracts the ref. Animal takes out Mercury and Nitro, and Melina tries to attack him. Animal catches her, tags in Christy, and Christy hits a clothesline, followed by a botchy hurracanranna. Animal then calls for the Doomsday Device, as Heidenreich keeps Mercury and Nitro occupied. Christy then hits the Doomsday Device, and scores the pinfall.
Winners – LOD & Christy

Batista in the locker room. Eddie comes in and wishes him luck, Batista does the same.

Simon Dean comes out on his Dean Machine, with a waiter holding a plate of hamburgers. Simon says that if he loses to Bobby Lashley, he will eat 20 double cheeseburgers.

Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley tosses Dean around. Dean tosses one of the burgers at Lashley, then one to distract the ref, then Dean slaps Lashley over the head with the tray the burgers were on. Lashley no sells it, shoves Dean to the corner, and tries to pull him up for the Lashlight, but it is botched, and Dean falls back to the mat. Lashley then picks him up like he normally would, and nails the Lashlight for the pin.
Winner – Lashley

JBL & Jillian talk about what happened at Homecoming. He says that RAW is a bunch of underdogs, like Mysterio. Mysterio comes in and offers JBL a mask to hide behind after he loses tonight. JBL doesn’t want it, so Mysterio gives it to Jillian.

Chris Benoit (c) vs. Christian vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell) vs. Orlando Jordan — United States Championship
Plenty of back and forth action. Christian goes to hit the Unprettier, but Benoit turns it into the Crossface. OJ breaks it up, but Booker comes back in the ring, and takes OJ over the top rope. Christian goes for the Unprettier again, but this time Benoit turns into Sharpshooter, and Christian taps out.
Winner and Still Champion – Chris Benoit

Sharmell tells Booker T that it’s Benoit’s fault that Booker lost.

Lashley is making Dean eat the burgers.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly
Holly bullies Kennedy around a bit to start, but Kennedy softens up Holly’s shoulder, and works it over. Holly ducks a clothesline and hits a full nelson slam. Holly with his kick to the abdomen. Holly goes to the top rope for a missile drop kick, but Kennedy goes up and puts Holly on his shoulders, nailing the Lambeau Leap.
Winner – Mr. Kennedy”¦.Kennedy

Holly is selling an injury to his ribs. Sylvain comes out, and attacks Holly. Sylvain rolls Holly back in the ring and hits the 3 Seconds of Fame DDT.

Lashley still making Dean eat.

Sharmell is yelling at Booker. Kennedy enters to make sure both of them know he won his match. Kennedy then calls Booker a loser.

JBL (w/ Jillian) vs. Rey Mysterio
I hate Mysterio’s new music”¦what the hell does booyaka mean? Mysterio keeps the match quick to start. JBL falls to the outside, and Mysterio goes to leap out on him, but JBL pulls Jillian in front of him, and Mysterio stalls. Mysterio goes to the floor, but JBL slams him face first into the ring steps. Back in the ring, JBL starts working Mysterio over, and nails a Fallaway Slam from the 2nd rope. JBL then hits another one in the ring. Mysterio falls to the floor, and JBL hits ANOTHER Fallaway Slam on the floor! Back in the ring, JBL puts Mysterio on the top turnbuckle, but Mysterio fights him off, and hits a tornado DDT for 2. Jillian gets on the apron, and Mysterio is distracted by her, and JBL charges. Mysterio ducks, JBL almost hits Jillian, but stops himself. Mysterio drops kicks JBL into the ropes and hits the 619. Mysterio goes up for the West Coast Pop, but JBL ducks it, hits the ropes, and nails the Clothesline from Hell for the pinfall.
Winner – JBL

Recap of Homecoming.

The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton & ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton – Casket Match
UT takes out Cowboy first, then goes after Randy. Orton’s gain the advantage, double teaming. UT fights back, and hits Randy with Old School. He then goes for Old School on Cowboy, but Randy comes over and crotches UT. Both Cowboy and Randy go up the turnbuckle, and they hit a DOUBLE SUPERPLEX!! Orton’s go to double suplex UT into the casket, but UT reverses it and hits a double DDT. UT tosses Cowboy in the casket, and starts working on Randy. Snake Eyes on Randy followed a big boot. Cowboy distracts UT, and UT walks in a C+ from Orton. Cowboy is now staggering around the ring with a fire extinguisher. Orton toss UT to the outside, but UT dodges a shot from the extinguisher, and UT tosses Randy into the ring post. Taker with a chair, hits Randy across the back and he is in the casket. UT then triangle choke’s Cowboy until he falls in the casket. UT goes to close it, but Randy gets out. UT closes the lid on Cowboy, and the extinguisher is still in there. Orton has UT in the corner, and is giving him punches on the turnbuckle. Randy stops to pose, and UT catches him and nails a Last Ride. UT goes to put Randy in the casket but Cowboy comes out and sprays UT with the extinguisher, and Randy nails the RKO. They fight into the casket, and both UT and Randy are in the casket. The lid pops open, and Randy reaches for a chair that was on the ring, and drill UT with it and closes the lid to win the match.
Winners – Orton’s

Randy and Cowboy drag the casket back towards the ramp and light it on fire.

Recap of Juvi winning a CW Battle Royal for the CW title shot.

Nunzio (c) (w/ Big Vito) vs. Juventud (w/ Super Crazy & Psicosis) – Cruiserweight Championship
Fast paces”¦bad match. Vito distracts Juvi, but Juvi manages to nail the Juvi Driver to score the pinfall.
Winner and NEW Champion – Juventud

From WWE.com:
Breaking news from backstage: The Ortons have apparently opened the casket and Undertaker was not inside. The Ortons have now left the building.

Recap of Eddie/Batista

Batista (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero – World Championship
Tie-ups to start. Batista, obviously, overpowers Eddie. Eddie on the apron, pulls Batista’s head down over the top rope, and Batista is on his stomach on the mat, and Eddie hits a frog splash across Batista’s back. Eddie works on Batista’s back, and tries to locks on the Texas Cloverleaf, but Batista reverses it and rolls Eddie up. The ref gets bumped, and Eddie gets a chair, however he decides not to use it. Batista hits a spinebuster, and goes for the Demon Bomb, but Batista’s back gives out, and Eddie slides through. Eddie fights back, nails the Three Amigos, then goes for a Frog Splash, misses, rolls through, but gets another spinebuster to finish the match.
Winner and Still Champion – Batista

After the match, Eddie offers his hand, and Batista shakes his hand, turns his back, and we see an evil grin on Eddie’s face, but Batista turns back around and Eddie is back to normal.

From WWE.com:
Breaking news: Batista is calling Eddie Guerrero back to the ring.

Update: Eddie is walking back to the ring.

Update: Batista has just revealed that today is Eddie Guerrero’s birthday.

Update: Batista is singing “Happy Birthday” to Eddie Guerrero. The crowd is singing along. A birthday cake is being brought out.

Update: Eddie just pushed the cake into one of the referee’s faces. Batista and Eddie together are putting cake on the referee.

Show Over.

~PK

I like Comics, Wrestling, Super Mario Bros & Dead Space. Oh ya, and Scott Pilgrim.