The Crucifix

Archive

It’s that time of the year again. Not the initial build for Wrestlemania. No certainly not. Lord knows that Homecoming was fantastic for about 2 hours. Coincidentally, the show dropped to hell once Triple H returned. But I’ll get to that soon enough. No, it’s MLB playoff time and boy has my heart been dropping. It either ends tonight or my Yankees continue on. Speaking of continuing on, the Red Sox are not and all the buzz has the team being blown up. Manny wants a trade to play for (surprise!) the White Sox, Johnny Damon is a free agent and didn’t do himself any favors in Boston with his post series comments, some rumbling are around that Theo may be gone…wow…1 year later and the outcry for death is amazing. If I were GM, I’d get rid of Schilling. I doubt he’ll be what he was and the guy is a jackass anyways. Even the old Phillies GM had this memorable quote: “Schilling was a horse every 5th day and a horses ass the other 4.” Bloody sock my 26 rings…


Homecoming

Quick little thought…shouldn’t the Hardcore Homecoming people have filed an injunction to stop the name of this show, just for kicks? With WWE’s crack legal team, which I’ll get to, they probably would’ve won.

– Here’s the funny thing about Randy Orton: He has been so pigeon holed in this gimmick that he will need a continuing amount of old guys to beat up or he will lose all his heat. The fact that he had to RKO Piper says something about the “future” of the business.

– Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels + 30 minutes = Gold, pure gold.

– Bischoff’s rant against McMahon was the perfect setup for a WWE/WCW feud…cough…yea I said it.

– The Super Secret Writer forum is abuzz over whether or not Stephanie McMahon looked good last week. Picture analysis is being done. My opinion: She looks a hell of a lot better and I’d throw her my sledgehammer any day.

– Good ladder match with a perfect ending with Lita wrapping her dirty body around Hardy. Now everyone is saying he is going to be buried on Smackdown and it was dumb as f*ck for him to come back to WWE. Let me explain something to you…Matt Hardy is making more money right now than AJ Styles. More money than Chris Daniels. More money than Samoa Joe. And he isn’t going to Smackdown. I’ll take all the nasty emails if he does. But you have to look at it like this. When Hardy originally lost his job not too many people knew about it. Even fewer know about the Angelic Diablo character. Guess what? Hardy will return as the Angelic Diablo. End of story, goodnight.

– Hacksaw Jim Duggan – f*cking HUGE glasses.

– Hey look, Triple H put on all the weight Stephanie lost. Shit, at least The Undertaker stays in shape when he takes his vacation. Triple H was just fat. I’m not saying I’m the most shapely person in the world, although I have been working out and could kick Brian Kendrick’s ass. The fact that they dragged out the beating for SO DAMN LONG was irritating because it doesn’t make sense. So many guys show respect for Flair and nobody saved or tried to save doesn’t work. You’re telling me with DAVE in attendance Flair could get raped by Triple H? C’mon!

– Rob Conway gets his ass beat by the AARP. Way to build that new and up and coming talent.

– I spent the entire Diva match saying, “Wow, Candace and Ashley have no clue what the f*ck they’re doing.” Sure enough, Ashley gets a broken nose. My baby Victoria looked great though.

– Bischoff makes his match a no DQ because Vince is gone… and JR is going to be fired? Fire Bischoff, start a WCW Invasion and make Shane GM.

– They shit the bed because Austin’s segment took a year and go “lights out” on the Smackdown match. What bullshit.

– Screw Hogan

– Yes, the main event 5 years later is another badass against authority figure. As much as things change…

– Is it a prerequisite that when the two brands are in the building they must brawl or the show can’t end?

The show was great and then just nose-dived after Triple H’s return.


– Vince said someone is getting fired. It won’t be JR, at least for now. I have an idea of who should be though…Jerry McDevitt. Who is that? You f*cking know you scoundrels. It’s WWE’s lawyer and boy has he had a rough…ummm…career. Most recently he botched the Brock Lesnar case. Now the records are sealed, which is probably the only thing he did correctly so we didn’t find out just how much he sucks. But the running theory is this: WWE’s no compete clause that owned Lesnar for life states “work for us for fair market value.” Brock tucks his tail between his legs and crosses his fingers behind his back and says “yes masa, please let me work for you for fair market.” WWE low balls and the contract and no compete become null and void. Brock goes off and wins the IWGP title. That right there would make me, if I were Vince, fire McDevitt so quick he have to be on rocket skates to get out of the way of my gun. Couple all this with past shit he has lost and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out he has to go. Where is Scott Amen in all of this? Is he still on the payroll? He wife is a damn good teacher at a local high school (CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRLS), so I wonder where he is. He wouldn’t have let this shit happen. Additionally, The F5 is now “The Verdict”, which is a great shot at WWE.

– Bret Hart’s DVD will include no matches with Shawn Michaels. Let’s be honest, could they really put an Iron Man match on the DVD without compromising everything else?

– No Mercy was last night and I could give a f*ck. Look at our top stories. JUVENTUD won the Cruiserweight title and that was THE BEST PART of the show. You pay 35 dollars for an extended Friday night, that’s all. Download it if it’s even worth it. By the sounds of it, it’s not worth it at all.

– WWE is trying to sign Tatanka…negotiations with Repo Man, Duke Drose, Mo, Doink and Max Moon are ongoing as well. Apparently TNA doesn’t want WWE to get Max Moon…

– Speaking of TNA…CANDIAN DESTROYER, ’nuff said.

– Brother Ray and Brother Devon, Team 3D are all up in TNA and I must say they look good. The shirts with “TRADEMARK THIS!” on the back are cool too.

– Samoa Joe had a great string of matches this week with…Test? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

– Muhammed Hassan News: WWE believes that it was Copani, not the gimmick that ruined everything. Conveniently overlooked is the fact that THEY had the character treat The Undertaker like Nick Berg on national TV. Now I know he didn’t behead him (which would’ve been cool. Much cooler than the played out “casket” angle), but basically he Muslim gang beat him. But NO…it was Copani’s fault…riiiiiiiiight.

– The Coach ripped Dave Scherer in his Coachcast this week. Scherer’s response was f*cking weak: The Coach ranted on internet websites, and myself in particular. I wasn’t even going to mention it, but I have gotten a ridiculous amount of email from people about it so I figured I better put an item up about it on the site so that they all know they don’t need to email me about it any more. All I have to say is thanks for reading and supporting the site Coach, and I won’t even hold it against you that you mispronounced my last name! Coach also had Christian on for a few minutes for an in-character interview. For those that want to listen to it, go the main page of WWE.com.

What a bitch. The Coach should say some shit about me. I have my picture with the guy. While I think he is talented and a good addition to the booth, he can still kiss my ass for being shitty for years. He couldn’t even be funny with The Rock of all people. If fat ass Kevin Kelly could be funny in that situation. Fuck Coach and f*ck Scherer, that’s what I say. By the way, Scherer and the bitches over at his site continue to pimp Harcore Homecoming as a great thing to behold. Grasping for straws of notoriety and free tickets boys? I guarantee that at least once a week Scherer goes to the front of ECW Arena and has a good cry while holding a candle.


– I’m doing away with Victoria Rules. The reason is simple actually: I haven’t gotten any correspondence from her recently. If you want to IM her, her aim is Victoriawebsite. For now I’ll just put down where she is showing up and you can go and visit her and say “YOU CONTACT HEVIA OR THE IWC WILL END YOU!”

Victoria and Lillian will be participating in an Autograph Signing of Divas Uncovered at Bookends, 232 E. Ridgewood RD, Ridgewood, NJ 07450 from 3-5pm.


I’m done. Have to paint, shower and watch Yankees-Angels game 5. Somebody let me know what happened on Raw. Adios!