Mr. McMahon promised that someone would pay for Stone Cold’s actions at WWE Homecoming, but he never officially fired anyone. Instead, WWE CEO Linda McMahon shocked the world when she fired Good Ol’ J.R., Jim Ross, from the RAW announce team and delivered a humiliating low blow as her and her family celebrated in the middle of the ring. J.R. has been the voice of RAW for years, so what will RAW sound like without the proud Oklahoman?
Mr. McMahon said that he wasn’t going to fire Stone Cold Steve Austin, but he did say that he had a plan for the Texas Rattlesnake. After hearing that McMahon has a plan for him, and after seeing one of his best friends fired and humiliated, will Stone Cold show up on RAW to raise some hell?
Plus, it seems like everyone is gunning for John Cena’s WWE Championship. Last week Big Show, Shawn Michaels, Edge, Carlito and Kurt Angle all said that they should be the new No. 1 contender. All six were involved in a monster six-man tag match last week on RAW that saw Kurt Angle pin John Cena. Will a clear-cut No. 1 contender emerge on RAW this week?
Also, Triple H revealed that he beat Ric Flair to a bloody pulp at WWE Homecoming because he couldn’t bear to sit back and watch anyone spit in the face of Flair’s legacy. The Game said that he was the one that made Ric Flair great again, but that was over now. He said that Flair is no longer the Dirtiest Player in the Game, and in fact, the game was over for Flair. Will Flair be able to respond to Triple H’s comments this week on RAW?
And this Monday will also mark the return of the Big Red Monster, Kane. We haven’t seen or heard from Kane in months. How will the big man make an impact? Plus, Mick Foley will be the guest on Carlito’s Cabana. The Hardcore Legend has been silent since SmackDown’s Randy Orton hit him with an RKO at WWE Homecoming, so Foley will surely have a lot to say.
– And I’m Mark filling in for Raven West this week. You may know me for my NeelDown reports such as The NeelDown: iMPACT Zone. The last time I filled in for Raven was that God awful RAW where the Shawn Michaels Masterlock Challenge was the main event. So lets all hope that this show is a good rebound.
– Hosts: None to start off the show
– Sacramento, California
– Things start off with Vince McMonolopy coming out to the stage and pimping Taboo Tuesday, and says he has challenged Eric B to come up with a great main event that the fans will vote on. And then he comments that the fans had no control over Jim Ross getting fired last week. Vince says there’s a nasty rumor that a certain indivudual is on his way here tonight, JR’s best friend, and coming to Sacramento here tonight is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Vince tells the fans not to be offended if Vince kicks Austin’s ass though, staring the “asshole” chant. Vince told the executive producers to put together a video package of some of JR’s greatest accomplishments.
– JR Memorial video package: It sees Triple H beating up JR, Muhammad Hussan beating up JR, Kane setting JR on fire, Eric Bischoff beating up JR, Stephanie McMahon slap JR, and Linda McMahon kick JR in the family jewells.
– Vince now introduces us to the new lead announcer of RAW…
JOHNATHAN COACHMAN.
Coach comes out in a cowboy hat and does his acceptance speech, just to waste good ole RAW time. He thanks Vince and then says that he has always looked at JR as a “father figure.”
– Kurt Angle confronts Vince backstage. Angle says that last week Angle beat Cena’s ass and cleanly beat him in the ring. That’s when Hurricane flys in. Hurricane says that good ole JR was th voice of RAW, however Coach is the new lead announcer, so Hurricane asks… WATSUPWITDAT?! Vince then tells Angle to beat the hell out of Hurricane, and he does. They brawl all the way to ringside where Angle locks in a chin lock at ringside. I don’t now if it’s an official match or not, but…
Kurt Angle v. Hurricane
After they brawl from backstage into the ring, Angle slugs and gets an uppercut. Hurricane fights back with punches but gets whipped to the corner where he gets an elbow and then hits a Missile Dropkick, but misses the Shining Wizard and Angle locks in the Ankle Lock for the win.
Winner: Kurt Angle
1/4*
Break.
– Taboo Tuesday Qualifying Match
Edge v. Big Show
Show overpowers him to start by simply throwing him out of the ring. Edge comes back in with punches. As we get back from match break we see that Big Show hit a leg drop and now Edge is firing away on the corner until Show hits the big SLAPS. Edge bails to the outside and Show follows allowing Edge to whip him into the stars. Back in Edge with stomps and kicks then hits a dropkick then locks in an armbar. Show fights out by lifting Edge on his back and dropping backwards. Both men down, and they get up with Edge hitting a drop toe hold into the corner, then hits a Tornado DDT which gets 2. Show sets up the Showstopper but Edge slips out and hits the SPEAR but it only gets 2. Lita slips Edge in a chair but JBL’s music hits allowing Show to hit the Chokeslam for the win.
**, JBL never came out. Surprising mystery ending.
Break.
– Backstage, Edge tells Eric to watch SmackDown to see what Edge does to JBL.
Carlito’s Cabana: Carlito welcomes special guest… Mick Foley. Foley comes out to say that it’s “cool” to be in the ring with someone who has worse hair than he does. Carlito starts to panic, but Mick calms him down by saying that he was only kidding. Foley mentions JR, and Linda McMahon gets on the titantron to say that his groin injury isn’t to blame ect. This starts a “that’s not cool!” chant. Carlito mentions that JR is gone and not cool, just like Mick Foley, actually Foley is the least cool person he’s ever seen. Foley then says that his fans say he is cool, and Carlito is a “horse’s ass.” He then asks Carlito what he’s going to do about it. Carlito grabs an apple but Foley tells him not to be worrying about if he can eat produce, but to worry about facing Shawn Michaels in the ring tonight. Foley predicts that HBK is going to beat Carlito like, as an old friend of his used to say, “a government mule.” Have a nice day!
Break.
– Word is that Austin is on his way to the arena.
– Taboo Tuesday Qualifying Match
Shawn Michaels v. Carlito Carribean Cool
Carlito attacks on the ramp to start and spears HBK into the gate andpins for 2. Carlito with stomps in the corner and pins for 2. Powerbomb by Carlito gets another 2. Carlito slams his head on the top turnbuckle then sends HBK to the ropes and hits a shoulderblock. Brock-style shoulders in the corner by Carlito but HBK turns the tables with chops. Carlito comes back with a big whip to the corner for 2. Rear chin lock applied by CCC but Michaels fights out until Carlito chips him down for 2. Leg drop by Carlito and then he goes up top and nails a crossbody but HBK rolls through and gets 2. Michaels with chops now, then sends Carlito to the ropes and locks in a sleeper. HBK is able to fight out and guides Carlito to the corner where he hits chops. Carlito reverses a whip to another corner and then hits a dropkick in the corner which gets a 2 count. Carlito locks in a modified abdominal stretch until HBK gets out of it witha hiptoss and chops. HBk tries a suplex but Carlito blocks it, but he eventually hits it sending them both over the top rope to the outside. Back inside Carlito locks in a rear choke on the ground by HBK fights to his feet and breaks out of it with elbows. Carlito hits a suplex for 2. They exchange chios until Carlito gains the upperhand and shoots Michaels into the corner but misses the splash and gets crouched in the turnbuckle. Michaels hits a clothesline and kips up. Atomic drop, punch, clothseline, scoop slam. HBK up top… elbow drop connect. Carlito counters the Sweet Chin Music with his leg on top of his head and tries to pin holding the ropes but it only gets 2. Chops in the corner by HBK and Carlito whips HBK into the ref. Carlio sends Michaels into the turnbuckle then gets a chair and tries a chair shot on Michaels, but HBK Sweet Chin Musics the chair and gets the 3 count.
Winner: Shawn Michaels
***1/2
– As HBK walks up the ramp Ric Flair comes out and shakes HBK’s hand on the ramp.
Break.
– Flair in the ring now, who after all that brutal assault 2 weeks ago, has all but a badage on his head, after coming out and shaking Michael’s hand, and he discusses what Triple H said last week about what he did. He says that by doing what he did by 2 weeks ago he has now lit a fire under his ass. He has a desire to right now achieve at a level he hasn’t achieved at in 15 years. Flair says that no one ever walked out of an arena saying Ric Flair didn’t put on a good show tonight. He knows that he’s 20 years older, but in 1975, an airplane was in the air and went into the ground, it killed the pilot, paralyzed 2 other wrestlers, and they said Ric Flair would never wreslte again, and 6 months later Flair was in the ring wearing gold. 1981, Flair got off a jet, lightning hit Flair’s umbrella, you think Ric Flair is afraid of you, Triple H? Flair says that every morning when he wakes up he has to look at the welt on his head knowing that he has taken 2 sledehammer shots. Flair then calls Hunter out and tells him to see what the Nature Boy has for him. Hunter comes out on the stage in a suit and Flair gets out of the ring, gets a baseball bat from underneath, and chases Triple H backstage! Flair is hitting various objects with the bat as Hunter is hiding from him as we cut into…
Break.
– Carlito challenges Mick Foley at Taboo Tuesday.
Victoria, Torrie Wilson & Candice v. Trish Stratus, Mickie James & Ashley
Victoria starts with Trish and gets splashes. Kick by Trish and the a spinning headscissors. Mickie James tagged in, and she goes up top and hits a crossbody, then goes outside and sweeps the other heels off the apron. This however allows Victoria to take James down and hit a backbreaker and punch. She whips Mickie to the corner where she gets a boot and hurricanranna. Women? Wrestling? WWE? Victoria then gets a surprise roll up for the win as Mickie was taunting to her team. Afterwards, Mickie hits the Stratusfaction on Victoria.
*, a women’s match with actual wrestling moves. That counts for something in the women’s division I guess. And at least Victoria was the only heel to get in, since God knows Torrie and Candice attempting to wrestle would ruin it for all of us.
– Steve Austin drives his truck all the way from the parking lot to the ring.
Break.
– Austin in the ring now, and says he is going to try real hard to maintain his composure to get his point across. He’s been with WWE for the best 10 years of his life and gave the business blood and beer. He’s never backed down from anybody, and throughout all the good times and bad times he has only had one true friend, Jim Ross. He watched him get fired last week and says that it is complete– you know what he’s saying. Stone Cold now calls out Vince’s yellow carcus ass to the ring. Instead, Stephanie McMahon comes out in a mini-skirt. Damn that’s nice. Austin says that last week Steph said she has the biggest balls in the arena so Austin wanders if he is about to stun his first transvestite. Steph says that it is Austin’s fault JR got fired, and Austin wanders how it is his fault. Austin says she isn’t making a lick of sense, so why doesn’t Austin just put Steph over his knee, pull her little dress, and make sure her balls don’t drop out. HA. He wanders what the crowd thinks if he gives Stephanie a spanking. Coach steps up and said NO. Coach says that no one wants JR here nor Austin. Austin starts to exit the ring to whoop Coach’s ass but Stephanie stops him and tells him he doesn’t need to do it right now. Stephanie says that she has an oppurtinity to get JR’s job back. She said that if Austin faces Johnathan Coachman at Taboo Tuesday and wins, he wins JR’s job back and JR will be rehired. Austin says he’ll drink to that, and he indeed stays true to his word. As he drinks, Stephanie gets on the mic on the stage and says that if he loses, then he is fired, so Austin flips her the bird. Austin walks up behind the announce table and then up to it and Coach says Austin doesn’t want any of him. Austin tells him to hit him. Austin takes off Coach’s sunglasses and squashes them. Austin then unbottons Coach’s shirt and takes off his hat. Austin now wanders if Coach is going to do something. Austin then pours beer into Coach’s hat and puts it back on him. And that’s the bottom line, cause’ Stone Cold said so!
– King comments that Coach has HBO. Horrible Beer Odor. Oy.
Break.
The following match is the main event and is a 18-man over the top rope battle royale to see who the third person in the Taboo Tuesday Qualifying along with Shawn Michaels and Big Show. Eric B comes out before the match and says that HHH-Flair has been added to the Taboo Tuesday card. Cena comes out to do guest announcing for the battle royale. Eric then announces back KANE who is the final contestant in the battle.
– Main Event
– 18-man Battle Royale
Kane immediately chokeslams Carlito and throws him over the top as everybody watches. Everybody besides Kane brawls each other. Viscera gets dumped as we head into the main event advertisements. My prediction? Kane. Kane eliminated Snitsky via clothseline. Antonio tries to dump Rosey but it’s a no go. Tajiri gets dumped. Cade & Murdoch double team and dump Rosey. Eugene and Conway eliminate each other. Murdoch & Cade double team Kane but Kane dumps them both. The Masterpiece eliminated Kerwin White, Kane clothselines Shelton Benjamin out. Kane dumps Val Venis. Kane double chokeslams the Hearthrobs and then tosses them both. We’re down to Masters and Kane and Masters powerslams Kane. Masters locks in the Master Lock which I don’t see the value in since this is a battle royale, but Kane breaks it and tries to clothseline Masters out but he ducks it, so Kane back drops him outside eliminating the final man and making Kane the final Taboo Tuesday contestant.
Winner: Kane
End of show.
A good show this week. All the qualifying matches were solid and with the Steve Austin, Micky Foley, and Flair segments tied in it just seemed like it had the chemistry to be a solid show.
Thanks for joining me and feedback is always reccomended.
– MN –
